Angels With Dirty Faces
by hey-torch
Summary: -"The blood's not coming from your hand. Are you hurt somewhere else?" his heart froze as possibilities came to him. "Haley?" . "I didn't know where else to go."
1. Why I Don't Believe In God

**A/N: Alrighty so this is one of the new babies I've been working on. I know, what right do I have to work on another story when it takes me so long to update the ones already going right? Well when inspiration strikes you can't ignore it. Anyway, I've tested the overall storyline and the first 10 or so chapters by my brother who has never watched a moment of OTH. But I forgive him for the obvious flaw in judgement because (after giving him a background on the main characters relationships and then diving into this idea) he was and is totally into it. So therefore, as Leaving Town Alive comes to closer and closer to conclusion, I want to get this ball rolling for your feedback.**

**This takes place season 3. More specifically it starts in the ep 'Brave New World' with some (very) obvious changes it's an AU. So for the most part everything that went up until that ep has happened, but then I take control of the wheels.**

**Disclaimer: As I've mentioned before and will painfully do so again, I do not own any of it. **

**I think that's everything. So here we go, the first chap is short but it's a prologue meant only to get started and peak your interest enough to bring you back.**

-

* * *

"_I wish I believed like you , yeah you_

_In the myth of a merciful God_

_In the myth of a heaven and hell_

_I hear the voices you hear sometimes"_

_'Why I Don't Believe In God'_

-Everclear

* * *

-

It was just another day.

Just an average, run of the mill day. Complete with car accidents, noise complaints, fights, accidental dials and runk pranks.

Nothing new or unexpected, really, in the life of a 911 operator. Maybe it made him a little cold to consider these things mundane and ordinary, but when it was like it day after day after day, being desensitized was an unavoidable side effect.

He sat back in his chair, playing with the slinky, letting it fall from one hand to the other and then back again. Repeating this action several times to combat the boredom of sitting in his chair for 8 hours a day; minus his two breaks of course. He sent a nod over in Aaron's direction as he walked by to leave for the day. He'd have said a more verbal goodbye if not for the beeping in his headset warning him a call was coming through to his line.

"911, what's your emergency?" he asked automatically and set down his toy.

A shaky voice came through, obviously terrified. This was certainly not one of the prank calls.

"Y-You need to send help." it spoke uneasily. "A man he, he's been shot. He's not awake an-and he's bleeding."

"Alright, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. I'll send help." he answered clicking his keyboard to connect to police and medical response. "Can you tell me where you are?"

"Uh, yeah, it's..." beginning uncertainly to give him the information he required. "it's 28, no, wait, 2...I-I can't think, I can't think of it."

He heard the panic. He'd heard this same sound many times in many different voices. In traumatic situations, panic, confusion, fear it all sets in and takes hold of your mind. It can get pretty hard to think, even of everyday things like an address or phone number you use eighty times a day.

"That's ok." he assured. "I can find out, it'll just take a second. Did you see what happened?"

"He-He was shot." they repeated.

"Do you know who he is?" he asked, looking for as much information as his frantic caller would be able to give him. "Do you know his name?"

"Dan Scott."

This gave him pause.

Dan Scott? As in Dan Scott? The Dan Scott who'd just been elected mayor yesterday? His boring, everyday night just got a whole lot bigger.

"Did you see who shot him?" he asked.

"I..." the voice trailed off again, the same fear preventing the sharing of information. But this was a question he certainly wanted an answer to, and no doubt the authorities would as well.

"Ma'am, do you know who shot him?"

A few seconds after his question was in the air the line was gone and the call was dead. She'd hung up on him.

"Ma'am? Hello?"

**.**

**.**

**.**


	2. Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow

**A/N: Alright so I couldn't actually wait for a response before putting up this next one. Don't judge me!**

**I just hope you're into this, other wise ...ouch. This chap isn't that long either, but trust me they definitely get longer. Like I've mentioned I have the first ten written out and ready.**

**p.s. I forgot to mention story title is credited to a Sum41 song. Don't own that either. **

-

* * *

"_There's bodies lying on the floor_

_But I keep staring_

_My world is over, close the door."_

_'Suffocating Under Words of Sorrow (What Can I Do)'_

_-Bullet For My Valentine_

* * *

-

Sitting in his room, the teenager skimmed through the song titles on his laptop. No doubt about it, Lucas was bored. With nothing to do, he'd been hoping to get the guys together for a pick-up game but no one was free for at least a few hours. At least that's what he got from the people who'd answered his calls. Nathan wasn't one of them. He hadn't picked up, so Lucas just left his brother a message.

And Brooke had banned him from coming over. She had stated very clearly that she had to get the clothes orders done for her website and could afford no distractions "_No matter how fun or sexy they may be."_

So Lucas figured he'd throw together a new playlist and go down to the Rivercourt to shoot around on his own until the others could show up.

With his headphones in, he happened to hear a quiet knock on the walk-out door of his room in between songs. Slightly confused, he wondered who it could be. Just about everyone who came to see him usually knocked once- if at all- and then let themselves in. No complaints from him, he liked that. It was very familial; it's how close they all were.

Taking the small speakers from his ears, he set aside his computer and got up to answer it.

"Haley?" he greeted surprised at seeing his best friend. Maybe he'd finally have something to do. "Since when do you knock?"

He leaned on the doorframe, smiling as he asked the question. But she didn't smile, and his quickly disappeared. Something was wrong. She held her jacket tight against her body, her arms were crossed, hugging herself. She looked down at her feet, then back over her shoulder, then down again.

"Haley." he said her name again, standing up straight now.

She finally looked up at him and her face, her eyes, only confirmed that something was definitely not right. Before he could voice the question asking what it was, she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear; a nervous habit she'd had since he could remember. As soon as she did, Lucas felt his own hand shoot out on reflex and catch her wrist.

"Oh my God." he looked at her hand and saw the slick red color painted on it. "Haley, is this...is this blood?"

She was looking down at where he held her hand in both of his. He heard her sniffle before she nodded.

"Oh my God." he breathed, trying not to panic.

Sure, don't panic. His best friend showed up, acting anything but herself with blood all over her hand. What was there to panic about? He pulled back her sleeve to look for the source of the bleeding. She said nothing as he did so; just allowing him to do it.

"Are you ok?"

He didn't see a cut anywhere on her hand or arm. Lucas put his hands on either side of her face to get her to look at him.

"Hales," using her nickname, waiting for her eyes to meet his. "The blood's not coming from your hand. Are you hurt somewhere else?" his heart froze for every possibility that came to him. "Haley?"

"I didn't know where else to go." she finally spoke in a quiet voice, not answering his question.

As she spoke, she removed her other hand from where it was hidden and held it palm out to him. His eyes widened, the right hand matching the left; blood on it's surface. Lucas instantly put his hand on the back of her shoulder and brought her over the threshhold and into the room. The young man quickly stuck his head outside and looked around, making sure no one had been around to see.

After he locked the door, Lucas turned around and found her standing in the middle of his room; arms crossed again hiding her hands. He ran his own hand down his face and tried to get a handle on what was happening. What _was_ happenning?

He moved closer to his oldest friend, who was beginning to look more lost by the moment. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself for the sake of the both of them.

"Ok." he said aloud, then softly suggested. "Come here."

She wordlessly obeyed and walked towards the end of the bed where he ushered her to sit down. Once she sat, Lucas turned towards the other door that led to the rest of the house and locked it as well. When he approached her again, it was with a terrifying question in his head. He didn't know which of his billion scenarios was worse but none of them were good.

Squatting in front of her, he held out his hands and kept his voice gentle. "Let me see?"

Haley looked reluctant but did so. Holding her shaking hands out for him to see, he carefully took them in his and ran his thumbs over each as he held them. Watching some of the color smear and slide under his movements, the cold feeling in his gut intensified and he finally forced himself to ask the question.

"This," he swallowed a lump in his throat formed by the situation. "This isn't your blood, is it?"

She took in a shaking breath preparing to answer, but couldn't find her voice. Her lips pressed tightly together and her head shook side to side.

Lucas looked away, trying to keep focus. Keep control. It was just a Sunday. Just a boring Sunday. He was going to play basketball. He was going to see his friends. Everyone was goin to just relax and enjoy it being Sunday. This wasn't real. It couldn't actually be happening.

"Ok." he spoke as he let out his uneasy breath. "Whose is it?"

"I'm sorry." her voice breaking in the few words she gave him.

As if he wasn't scared enough already, that put it at an even higher level if it was even possible.

"For what?" he urged her to tell him. "Haley, please, what happened?"

"I can't take it back." she spoke quietly, shaking her head, new tears making their way from her eyes.

"Look at me." he requested, moving to sit on the bed next to her. "Look at me. It's me here, Hales. You can tell me. You can always tell me anything. Talk to me and I promise I'll do whatever I can to help you."

After a painful moment of silence, she spoke a single word.

"Dan."

His eyes noticeably darkened at the sound of biological father's name.

"What about him?" he asked. "Did he do something? Did he hurt someone?" he paused and his voice got dangerous. "Haley, did he hurt you?"

"The blood," she had to force out the words. "...it's...it's his."

"D-Dan's blood?" he repeated the information he'd heard and she looked in his eyes with her still wet ones.

"I shot him." she let out a terribly shaking breath at the look on her best friend's face. "Lucas, I shot Dan."

-


	3. Goodbye Young Tutor, You've Outgrown Me

A/N: Wow! And I mean WOW! The response to this blew me away! Only two chapters and you guys already have me flying with your reviews. I know the question on everyone's mind is "What happened?" Well the only way to get that answer is to continue reading and finding out alongside everyone else in my universe. Bribery will not work unless it somehow involves a certain Mr. Lafferty...alright, here we go!

_-_

_-_

* * *

"_Black days, you've changed_

_Oh how you left me here to rot_

_I kid you not, _

_I miss you girl, you're all that makes me true"_

_-'Goodbye Young Tutor, You've Now Outgrown Me'_

-Say Anything

* * *

-

He hadn't said anything for a few seconds. Maybe a few minutes.

His face was a frozen image of shock and disbelief. Maybe even hate or disgust, she couldn't be sure. But she wouldn't be surprised if that's how he felt. Sure, he may hate the man, but Dan was still his father. Haley glanced down at her hands and rubbed them against one another, wanting the color to go away. But that wouldn't do it most of it was stained into the skin by now; she knew that, but her brain still hadn't kicked in.

Cautiously, fearfully, she brought her eyes back up to him for a glimpse of whatever he was thinking. But nothing. Still silent, still the same look. Looking down again, she tried to keep the tremble out of her voice as she spoke.

"I should go."

She shouldn't have come.

Haley stood up and moved to the door but her actions seemed to have brought him out of his zone as he quickly spoke up to stop her before she could exit.

"No, Haley, wait." following behind her, the two of them standing just behind the closed door. "I just...you shot him?"

Doing a poor job of holding back tears, she nodded.

"How? I mean," Lucas was trying to get past the initial shock to find out what was happening. "what happened? Was he trying to hurt you?" he asked. "That's it right? It-It was self defense. You had to, you didn't have a choice."

"No, Luke." she answered frightened by her own answer and shaking her head. "He didn't do anything. He was being a jerk, but he wasn't hurting me." she paused and held herself tighter as she finished. "But I shot him."

"No." he replied forcefully, shaking his head. "No, there's more. You wouldn't just shoot someone, even Dan. There's more, you're just afraid to tell me. But it's ok. It's ok, you can. Just tell me."

"There's not." she sobbed.

"Tell me!" he practically shouted, regretting it when he saw the way she flinched at the raise in his voice.

"Lucas, there's nothing." almost whispering. "I went to the house, I left my phone 'cause I left so quick this morning and he was there, he had a gun and -"

"Wait. It was _his_ gun?" Lucas interrupted, trying to collect all the facts. "What was he doing with a gun?"

"I don't know." she answered. "He said something about the dealership fire, about being prepared for anything."

Lucas nodded, already knowing that his father knew the fire was no accident. Dan knew it was set on purpose to kill him. He just didn't know who.

"Ok, so he had the gun. What then?" getting back to the issue at hand.

"He said some more, I don't remember what, and he put it down an-and left the room. When he came back he started saying some more stuff and I don't what happened, I just -" she cut herself off instead letting out a fresh sob.

Immediately, she felt herself enveloped in her best friend's long arms as comforting as it usually was, it was the last thing she deserved.

"No." she pushed herself away from him. "Don't, Lucas, you should hate me."

"Haley-"

"I killed your father."

"He's dead?"

"Yes...Maybe...I don't know." she answered. "There was so much blood and I tried to help him but it just kept coming and I-I called for held and then I ran."

" called someone?" she nodded and Lucas asked. "Who."

"911." she heard him curse quietly at her response. "I didn't want to just leave him alone."

"God." he spoke quietly, thinking to himself. "The police are going to be there. Did you leave anything that says it was you? What did you do with the gun?"

Haley was surprised. He wasn't mad at her for shooting him, he was mad that she may get caught? Is that what was happening?

"Haley." his voice brought her out of her thoughts, urging her to answer his question. "The gun, where is it?"

"I don't know. I-I dropped it." she admitted. "After I heard the shot and saw him fall, I dropped it."

"So it's still there?" he concluded, then stepped away from her and put his hands to his head, grabbing fist fulls of his shagging hair as he thought. "Ok. Ok. Stay here."

"Lucas,"

"Haley, please." he replied. "Listen, it's all going to be alright, ok? Just stay here. Lock the door behind me and don't open it for anyone. I'll be right back."

Lucas darted to his car and sped out of the driveway and off in the direction of the Scott house. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. Part of him still thought he was trapped in some warped dream; that any second he'd wake up to find out he'd fallen asleep while over at Brooke and Haley's apartment. He'd tell them about the strange dream and they'd laugh like he was an idiot.

But, unfortunately, the rest of him was feeling how unmistakably real it all was.

Haley. His best friend for so many years; who hated violence in any form, who'd never intentionally hurt anyone even someone like Dan Scott.

Something else was going on, that much was obvious to him. He just had no clue what it was and Haley seemed to be in some serious form of denial about it. He'd find out. He had to. But his first priority was to get to Dan's before anyone began searching and finding the things that could lead them to Haley. Not knowing how long ago it actually happened, how much time passed before she showed up at his door, he could only pray that it hadn't been long enough for them to gather the sufficient evidence to come after his friend.

He refused to let Dan ruin the lives of any people he loved. He'd already left marks and scars on the lives of so many in so many ways. This was not going to happen.

Almost there, and Lucas couldn't help but notice it was barely three. The sun was shining, there was a slight chill in the air, but for the most part it was a beautiful day. It felt things like this should only happen in darkness and shadows. Terrible things belonged in the dark.

-

* * *

Haley sat on her best friend's bed, looking at her hands. She heard the shot.

"_Mr. Scott!" as she dropped to her knees beside him. "Mr. Scott can you hear me? Dan!"_

She put her hands on either side of her head; closing her eyes as if she could will it away. Erase it.

"_Oh God." uncertainly she pressed her trembling hands over the hole._

_He wasn't dead was he? No, it wasn't fatal unless he bled to death, right? The hole, the bullet, it didn't hit anything vital, she thought. It was in some space between his shoulder and neck. It was called...she knew what it was....but her brain wasn't working. There was too much happening. What _was _happening?_

_Pulling back, she looked at the red covering her hands. She stumbled backward in fear._

"_Oh God." she said again. "Oh my God."_

Haley pressed her hands harder against her skull and began rocking slowly back and forth. The sounds and images and smells and feelings of it all, it was still there. As if it were happening at that moment, right there in Luke's bedroom.

Why did she go back? She didn't have to. Nathan could have brought her cell to her once he got back from wherever he took off to that morning.

Last night was perfect. Today should have been beautiful.

She stopped moving, a new sound bringing her back to reality; someone was at the door.

From outside, trying to turn the knob but finding it locked. They would most likely find that unusual, everyone could always just come in.

"Lucas!" the voice called before knocking. Peyton.

Haley froze she didn't know what to do. Lucas told her not to open the door for anyone. That he would come back soon. But Peyton was here. Haley attempted to sort out the jumbled mess in her brain, but it was all too fresh to think clearly about anything.

"Lucas!" Peyton called again. "You can't hide! Brooke already told me you have nothing to do. Now open up so I can put your ass to work." there was a pause. "Unless you're naked. In that case put on some pants and hide any magazines or websites and _then_ open the door."

Haley carefully rose from the mattress and backed as far away from the door as the room would allow. When her back found the opposite wall, she stopped, eyes on the door.

"Alright, slacker, you wanna do this the hard way?"

Then nothing.

Haley waited. But Nothing came for a few seconds, and Peyton's silhouette was no longer visible through the curtain that covered the glass window on the door. She slowly approaced the door, and took the risk to slide the curtain just enough to take a peek. No one was there.

Before she could wonder what 'the hard way' the blonde girl had mentioned could mean, her body spun around in surprise; knocking now on the main bedroom door.

"Lucas." the boy's mother this time.

In the hall, Peyton thanked Karen for her help.

"Thanks for doing this." she spoke. "I got a lot to do at the club and Brooke suggested I mercilessly use Luke for it and pay him with pizza; strangely pay her too...I don't know."

"Oh, a rental fee. That's nice." Karen chuckled as she pulled out the specific key on her ring to unlock her son's bedroom door. "Lucas Scott, you have three seconds before I come in myself."

"Wait," Peyton spoke up. "What if he _is_ naked?"

"Then he's got three seconds." she remarked, "Avert your eyes."

Inside, Haley felt her heart thump, thump, thump against her ribs. If Karen saw her like this, if she knew what she did, it would crush the older woman. She'd be so disappointed. As soon as she heard her start counting, Haley did the only thing that came to her. Hide.

Placing herself as far as she could go in the darkest corner of the closet, she pulled her knees tight to her chest and hid her face in them.

"Huh." Peyton mused upon entering the empty room. "I guess he's really not here."

"Looks like it." Karen agreed. "Sorry; try the Rivercourt. He always ends up there."

"Alright. At least I'll save money on pizza." she shrugged. "Thanks Karen."

"Anytime."

Haley heard them leave, but decided to stay hidden. She closed her eyes as she held her legs tight against her torso, making herself a small ball of a person. She wished she knew what to do.

-

* * *

-

Lucas felt his heart sink as he pulled up to the large house. Pulling his car up to the grand driveway, he saw already the various sets of flashing lights.

Exiting the car, he made his way up to the house; having no plan and no idea what he was going to do from one second to the next now.

The door was open, he was about to cross into the house when a body and it's voice stopped him.

"You can't be here." an officer spoke.

"Wh-what happened?" he asked, feigning confusion though the fear in his voice was all too real.

"Who are you?" a new voice, a new man came to stand in front of him now.

"Lucas Scott." he answered swallowing.

"Related to Dan Scott?" the new man asked; he was wearing a suit, he was important. He wrote something down quickly, probably Lucas' name.

"Yeah." he answered nervously. "he's my father. Is he alright?"

The man sighed before he began speaking.

"Lucas, I'm Detective Sutton." he spoke gentler then he had been initially. "I'm afraid your father's been shot."

"Is he ok?"

"He got lucky." he answered, and Lucas felt relief for a reason completely different than what the man probably assumed. "The bullet went straight through, just under the collar bone. He's got someone looking out for him. It didn't cause any major damage. He simply would've bled to death if the 911 call hadn't been made."

He paused a moment to let the information sink in for the young man.

"Do you know anyone who'd want to hurt your father?"

"Open a phone book." he answered; getting a look from the man. This man obviously wasn't privvy to the messy history and dirty dealings of Dan Scott.

"Well, being the newly elected mayor that's bound to happen." he mused. "If you think of anything that may help." he gave Lucase his card to take then turned to leave.

"Wait," the teen started. "Detective, do you have any leads?"

"Maybe." he answered, his job required him to be vague until everything was certain. "It all depends on what the evidence tells us."

"So you have evidence?" he concluded fearfully.

"I'm sorry, son. I can't tell you anymore until we know for sure. We'll be in touch."

"Wait-"

"Go to the hospital. See your dad." he advised, Lucas would have laughed at the suggestion if it weren't such a serious situation.

As he let his eyes wander over the scene from where he stood, looking for anything that he hoped they missed Lucas heard a phone ring and the detective he had been speaking to pull it out to answer it. He tried to stay close without being obvious.

"Sutton." he answered. "Already?" a pause as the other end of the line spoke to him what Lucas couldn't hear. "You're kidding me?" another. "Lucky us. Alright give me the address we'll swing by, if she's not there we'll check out the other two."

Lucas made his exit as quick as possible. He'd been too late. From the sounds of it, much too late.

-

-


	4. Long Road To Ruin

**A/N: Been a bit since I gave you a piece of this. I've seriously developed a tunnel vision of sorts for Leaving Town Alive. Seriously, been on a frenzy writing for that the closer it gets to the end. Luckily I have up to chapter 10 of this already prepared for you so I can easily post! Hope you still enjoy!**

-

-

* * *

"_Dear God, I've sealed my fate_

_Runnin' through hell, heaven can wait_

_Long road to ruin there in your eyes_

_Under the cold streetlights_

_No tomorrow, no dead end in sight"_

_'Long Road To Ruin'_

-Foo Fighters

* * *

_-_

He pushed his car farther down the road. The old junker Keith and Lucas helped him fix up. Or specifically, they had fixed it while he did whatever they told him too. Sure, he'd put in a spark-plug or two, twist this, hold that. But mostly, he was pretty much lost as far as cars went. While he worked at the dealership, he'd handled the cleaning and detailing.

Regardless of that, Nathan wouldn't allow his father to replace it. When he'd moved back in with his parents it was one of the first things Dan tried to do. Spending weeks tossing keys at him, bringing home the newest of the new for him to claim as his own. But Nathan refused them all.

This was his car.

He pulled out his phone to call Haley. He felt horrible for leaving while she slept after the amazing night they had. Their first time together since she came back, the first time in so long that everything felt right; being with her, lying with her and hearing her breathe while she slept. But then his mom called him and here he'd just taken off at her urging, leaving his wife sleeping alone in his bed. Nathan hoped the note he left would make it a little better. Explain why she was waking up without him.

As soon as he flipped it open, the phone buzzed in his hand, the screen lighting up. The word _Mom_ appearing on it.

Connecting the call, he hoped he'd finally get some kind of clue as to what was going on and where the hell he was going.

"Hello." he answered.

"Nathan, honey, where are you?" Deb asked her only son.

"I'm still on the highway." he informed her. "Mom, where am I going? What's this about?"

"I'll explain everything when you get here, I promise." she replied cryptically. "Just let me know when you take the exit."

"Here it is." he relied, coming upon the only directional clue she'd given him at the house.

"Ok,I'll give you the directions." she announced.

"Hold on." he told her, hearing the beep in his ear signaling there was another call trying to get through.

Pulling it away he checked the screen. It was Lucas again. Wondering what his brother wanted, Nathan rejected the call and returned to the conversation he was in the middle of.

"Alright. Tell me where to go."

-

* * *

"Damn it!" Lucas cursed to his empty car after disconnecting from his brother's voicemail and tossed his phone into the passenger seat.

Rubbing his hands over his face roughly, he tried to figure out what they were going to do. Nathan still wasn't answering his phone. He had to know. If what Lucas had overheard at the house meant what he thought it did, there was no time.

He sat for a few moments, feeling his heart quivering with panic, trying to figure out what to do. He was parked in his own driveway, afraid to go inside and see her with the news that he hadn't been able to help like he promised he would. Words couldn't describe everything he was feeling; and that was something. A guy who wanted to be a writer, out of words.

Speaking some calming words to himself, he forced himself to exit the car and went to his house. Letting himself in with his key quietly and locking it right away behind him, he was surprised to find his bedroom empty. His first thought was the police. That they'd somehow known to find her there. But Lucas soon realized that wasn't the case. He bent down, first checking under the bed but found nothing out of the ordinary there.

Glancing around the room, he saw his closed closet door and for felt a flag go up in his mind. He approached it quickly while trying to keep his steps as calm as possible. Startling her right now was not something that they needed in the state she was currently in. He had just begun to open it when his bedroom door opened instead.

Quickly, he closed the closet again and turned with his back to it, seeing his mother there with her arms full of freshly folded clothes.

"There you are." she greeted him looking a bit surprised. She gave him a smile. "Peyton came by looking for you."

"She did?" he asked, trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible. Peyton's visit would probably explain why Haley felt the need to hide.

"Yeah. She was going to bribe you with pizza into helping her out down at the club but you weren't here. Where'd you disappear to?"

"I was, I was at the record store." he came up with the quick lie and hoped she bought it. "Looking for some new music."

"Find anything?"

"Nothing good." he shrugged.

"Why were both your doors locked?"

"Well, I," he stumbled again a moment until it came to him. "I was getting dressed and I didn't want you to walk in on me. Guess I forgot about it when I left out the back door."

"Try to remember next time." she answered, giving him a smile. "Thought you were hiding something."

Lucas forced out a fake laugh at the remark. Then blocked his mother with his body when she moved to open his closet. She looked at him curiously and chuckled.

"What are you doing?" as she reached for the handle again.

"What are _you_ doing?" he asked nervously, getting in her way once more.

"Putting away my strange son's laundry." she answered. "Your turn."

He didn't offer an answer for himself, instead kept talking.

"I'm 17 mom," he informed her.

"Yes I know that. And?"

"And...I can put away my own clothes."

"I know you _can, _but you don't." she reminded him. "This way I know it gets done."

She tried again to reach around him and he grabbed the handle with his larger hand so she couldn't.

"Lucas." she sounded like she was getting annoyed. "What is wrong with you? _Are_ you hiding something?"

"Mom, I..." he struggled. He was never good at lying to his mom. He hated it. "Yes. I am. I don't want you to look in here because, because it's a mess."

"Lucas!" she said frustrated. "I told you to clean it twice already."

"I know." not pleased she was upset with him, but thankful she bought it. "And I will, I promise."

"That's right you will." she told him, setting the clothes down on his bed. "No more trips to the record store or the Rivercourt until it's done."

"I'll do it right now." he told her. "I promise."

Lucas waited until she left his room then let out a large breath he'd been holding. He relaxed the slightest bit, leaning back against the door behind him. He then closed the door behind his mother and locked it once again before returning his attention to his closet door and what was hiding behind it.

Opening it slowly, he leaned his head inside looking for his best friend. His light eyes found her in the corner, huddled in a ball with her knees against her chest and her face hidden behind them.

"Haley." he said her name softly, trying to get her attention without scaring her. She didn't show any response to it. He pushed aside hangars and clothes to maneuver his body into the small space. He said her name with a little more force, "Haley. It's clear. You can come out now."

She acknowledged him by raising by raising her head and he slowly led her out of her hiding spot. Lucas then sat her down on his bed once again. He could see the tear stains. There were blotches and smears now on parts of her face; What he assumed came from the portion of blood that had not yet dried.

He briefly wondered, as he looked at her, if she was aware of them. She stared, at nothing in front of her, until he spoke again.

"Haley," he began, "I went to the house. The police were already there. I'm pretty sure they have the gun. One of them-"

"Is he dead?" she asked quietly, interrupting his tale.

"No. He's alive. There was no major damage just...just a lot of bleeding. He'll be fine."

She nodded a bit, Lucas was certain she was immensely relieved she hadn't killed anyone. Maybe she'd be able to feel that relief, too, when shock finally wore off.

"You should clean up." Lucas suggested. "I'm pretty sure you still have some clothes here. You can take a shower, then we'll figure out what to do next."

"Do?" she repeated. "there's only one thing _to_ do, Lucas. I have to go to the police."

Lucas already knew that wasn't going to happen. He would not let her. But instead of arguing about it, he decided, for now, to change the subject.

"What happened, Hales?"

"I don't know." she answered shakily.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean one second I'm waiting, the next there's a loud noise and Dan's on the ground and I'm holding a gun." she tried to explain what she didn't even understand herself.

She shook her head and pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. Trying to figure it out, thinking about it when all she wanted was to erase it, it was giving her a head ache. Lucas inwardly winced at her action as it left still more trace of his father's blood behind on her skin. He circled his arm around her and brought his friend close, attempting to offer at least the slightest bit of comfort.

A short time later, Lucas was sitting on the toilet lid. His back to the shower, facing the door, he played guard. If his mom knocked for whatever reason, he'd be the voice that responded.

Normally it would definitely make him uncomfortable to be there while the girl who was basically his sister was feet away from him naked. But he had other worries on his mind.

Like the moment she'd removed her jacket and he saw all the dark that had soaked into the pale yellow shirt she wore. Dan's blood; on her hands, on her shirt. How much of it had she seen before she finally had to get out of there? He'd been thinking on it while the water ran behind him.

It was when a new fear came to him. Even if they found a way to get Haley out of this, how were they supposed to get her past it? Looking down at the fabric he'd been holding in his hands, he thought the first step to it would be to burn that shirt.

He heard the water shut off and held out a towel past the shower curtain without looking anywhere but the ceiling.

"I have to call Nathan." he heard her say.

"Ok."

He kept his back turned while she dressed and after making sure no one was around, brought her back to his room. Haley gave him a quiet thanks when he handed her the phone. They stood in silence as she dialed the number she knew by heart and held it to her ear.

Voicemail.

It went right away. His phone was off. She let herself bask in the sound of his voice for the short time it lasted.

"Nathan it's me." she started. "I'm, uh, I'm not sure what you're doing but...something's happened. I don't, I don't want to leave it in a message. I know you'll hear it soon if you haven't already and I just...wanted you to know I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry." she fought the tears threatening to spill. "And I love you. I love you _so_ much. And, um, I'm-I'm going to make it right." she paused a second, taking in a deep breath. "I guess, I guess that's all. I really wish you were here. Ok. Goodbye. I love you."

Lucas had been sitting in the chair at his desk during the phone call. He listened to her leave the message for her husband and started bouncing his leg, anxious to speak up but forcing himself to wait until she was done. He knew what she meant; how she was going to 'make it right' and it wasn't going to happen. Once the call was over she spoke.

"I can't let you go to the police." he shook his head. "I won't."

"Lucas, I shot someone." she said as if he had forgotten. "Someone could have died because of me. I can't take it back but I can make it right. I have to."

"Haley, listen, it wasn't just 'someone' it was Dan." he told her, rising from his chair. "That's bad enough on it's own, but worse is he's the mayor now. An elected official. The cops, they're...It's attempted assassination of a political figure."

Haley hadn't remembered that detail. In the cluttered mess of it all, it had been lost.

"It doesn't matter." she said after a second. "It's right. I'll just go. I have to pay for this, Lucas."

"What are you going to say?" he asked. "I did it, I don't know why; it just happened."

"It's the truth." she answered.

"That doesn't matter." he almost shouted. "I am _not_ letting you go to prison because of Dan Scott."

"It's not because of him it's because of me, Lucas." she argued. "Because of what I did."

"You don't know what you did." he told her.

"I know what I did, I shot him."

"Haley," he grabbed her shoulders. "there's something else; something missing. There's a reason this happened and, maybe it's because it's too fresh, maybe it's because of-of shock I don't know, but you don't remember what the reason is. I know you, _you_ know you. This isn't you. I will not let you go to them."

"What then, Luke?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders to get his hands off them. "This is the only thing. They're going to find out anyway."

"No." he answered . "Because, Because they won't find _you_."

"What?"

"We leave." he stated, stepping up to her. "I'm getting you out of Tree Hill. Tonight."

-


	5. Goodnight Sweet Girl

**A/N: Alrighty, updating this at the same time i'm putting up one for LTA. Glad peoples are stickin with this even though at this point you have absolutely zero answers. Thanks for the love. Hope you like.**

**Fun Fact: My brother, who I tested this out on and who is a big old supernatural fan, has come to an agreement with me. For every episode I watch of supernatural he will watch of oth. 3 episodes in and he's hooked. Yes! And SN isn't bad either. It's a fun time. **

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**-**

* * *

"_Are we done for now_

_Or is this for good_

_Will there be something in time_

_With us there should"_

_'Goodnight Sweet Girl'_

-Ghost of the Robot

* * *

Brooke stared intently, keeping a razor sharp focus on the task at hand. At the sewing machine making a few last touches on a red dress that someone in Charlotte ordered. The brunette groaned loudly in annoyance when the sound of knocking on the door somehow reached her ears over the sounds of the machine and the music playing while she worked.

She'd strictly told everyone to leave her alone and stay away today. Her roommate hadn't even been home since yesterday. A good sign as far as Brooke knew; Haley had left after getting a call from Nathan asking her to come over. So _that_ worked out for all three of them.

"Busy!" she shouted without stopping her actions. Telling whoever it was to go away and come back when she didn't have work to do. Another knock came, this time accompanied by a voice she couldn't really decipher over the noise.

"Damn it." getting up from the table, she slapped off the stereo as she passed it and spoke to her visitor as she approached the door, assuming it was her boyfriend who'd already called to say he was bored. "I told you, I don't care how sexy your ass is, I have work to -"

She halted her statement, her voice fell away when she opened the door and was greeted by two men in suits. Brooke froze, one hand still holding the doorknob.

"Haley Scott?" one asked.

"Brooke Davis." she answered nervously, gesturing towards herself.

"Brooke, I'm Detective Sutton." one introduced, displaying a badge. "This is Detective Bettis. We're looking for Haley Scott, she live here?"

"Well, yeah." she answered uncomfortably. "I'm her roommate. Did something happen? Is it her parents?"

"Do you know where she is?" the one taller man, Bettis was his name, asked.

"What's this about?" she asked, all sorts of worried alarms going off. "Why are you looking for Haley?"

"We need to speak with her." Sutton now.

"I get that part." Brooke began to get defensive, feeling it take over the fear. "What about?"

"Mind if we take a look around?" Sutton asked, stepping up to the doorway.

"Actually I do." she answered, holding the door a little closer and hiding entrance to her home. "I may not be a lawyer or anything, but I know you either need my permission or a warrant to do that. And right now it doesn't look like you have either."

"Ever heard of exigent circumstances?" it was the younger one again. Bettis' voice was tinged with distaste and Brooke felt like he was the worse of the two. His partner held up a hand to him, gesturing him to stop.

"Ma'am -"

"Dan Scott was shot this afternoon." Bettis interrupted him bluntly.

"Dan was shot?" she repeated, taken back by it. "Oh my God. Do Lucas and Nathan know?"

"You know the Scott's?"

"Well, besides the fact I'm dating one and my roommate's married to the other, everybody knows the Scott's." she retorted. "Is Dan alright?"

"He'll make it."

"That's good, I guess." she replied. "What's this have to do with Haley?"

"She's the one who shot him." Bettis again being direct. Getting a sideways glare from the other detective who turned back to Brooke.

"What?"

"We have evidence that suggests she's involved." Sutton told her in a calmer tone.

"That's crazy." Brooke dismissed immediately. "Haley wouldn't shoot ,anyone. She doesn't even let me litter, you think she shot somebody?"

"Law abiding citizen, huh?" Bettis asked. "This is the same Haley that was arrested for theft along with you and a,"he looked at his notepad. "Peyton Sawyer just yesterday?"

"Ok." Brooke was getting pissed at the accusations against her friend. "Check your facts again guy. Peyton and I did the stealing, Haley got possession of stolen property. The store stole my designs so Peyton and I took them back. All Haley did was borrow the wrong shirt when the cops showed up for me."

"Maybe she got a taste of a life she liked." Bettis suggested.

"So she tried to kill Dan? That's ridiculous."

"Answer me something," Sutton began. "Why is her husband living at his folk's while she's rooming here with you?"

"They went through a rough patch, but things were getting better." she informed vaguely, not wanting to share the details of her friends marriage with these guys. "That's another reason I know she didn't do this. She was all about fixing their marriage. I don't think shooting his dad's the way to do that, no matter how much of an ass he is."

"What caused this rough patch?"

"People make mistakes." she really wanted these guys to leave so she could call her friend and find out what the hell was going on. "But it doesn't matter because, like I said, it was finally better. I mean, he called her to come over last night. They were getting back on track."

"So she was at the Scott residence last night?"

Brooke felt her mouth go slack a moment. Was she helping them go after Haley?

"You should go, I have work to finish." she started closing the door, Sutton blocking it with his hand before she could move it very far.

"Last question, Miss Davis." he announced. "Did Haley come home last night?"

"I have to get back to work." she said again, avoiding the question that she didn't want to answer; afraid it would feed their crazy theory.

"Miss Davis, loyalty doesn't negate science," Bettis remarked. "Science says your friend shot the gun that shot Dan Scott. So maybe you want to think twice about talking to us before you get yourself in trouble too."

"I've got nothing to say without a lawyer." she didn't think she'd ever need to say the sentence she'd heard from her father before.

After that, she said nothing more, stepping backward into her apartment and closing the door.

Once they'd left Brooke began to panic. They'd be back, probably with a warrant or something, or whatever that circumstances talk the one detective mentioned. She laid her hand against her forehead and tried to calm herself. She looked around the messy living room.

"Where's..." wondering out loud where her phone was.

The young girl began shoving aside the projects she'd been working on all day. Tossing dresses and gowns and shirts aside until she found her small phone. Her hands shook as she found her roommate' name in it's phonebook and clicked to connect.

"Come on." she urged. "Shit!" it went straight to voicemail.

She hung up and tried again, getting the same perky recorded voice asking for a message.

"Haley, where are you? I don't know what's going on but the cops were here and I'm kind of freaking out. Get back to me as _soon_ as you get this. Please, just let me know you're ok."

Brooke hung up and connected another call, hoping desperately her boyfriend would answer. To her relief his voice came after only one ring.

"Hello." he sounded strained. She figured it was because of the same news she'd been given.

"Lucas, thank God!" she exclaimed. "Lucas something's going on and I don't even know how to say it."

"I know."

"You... What's that mean you know?" she asked. "Lucas, what's going on? Have you seen Haley?"

"Brooke, listen, I'm on my way right now. We'll talk when I get there."

"Ok." she answered, he was able to hear the fear in her voice. "How soon?"

"Minutes. I promise."

Lucas hadn't lied, it was barely four minutes later he showed up. Normally, he knocked twice then came on in. Today there was no knock.

Brooke didn't care, she went straight into his arms. He returned the tight embrace a few seconds before they pulled apart.

"Lucas," she began fearfully. "the police were here." she informed him. "They were looking for Haley. They said Dan was shot and they think she did it."

Lucas cursed in his head. They'd come to the apartment already and they'd be back. As soon as red tape allowed them to do so, they'd come busting in.

"Lucas," her voice regaining his attention. "is it true?"

He debated telling the truth; not wanting to hurt her or bring her into the mess anymore than she already was. But in the end he said:

"Yes." it was almost a whisper.

"Oh my God." she replied, he could hear the tears in her voice. "Why would...What happened? Where is she? She's probably terrified."

"I'm not sure what happened, but I don't have a lot of time Brooke."

"What are you-"

"I'm getting her out of town." he interrupted, informing her of the news that was sure just as painful for her to hear as it was for him to say. "She's in the car, we're leaving now. I just, I came to get some of her things and to," he cupped her cheek, letting his fingers memorize the feel of her skin touching his. "and to see this face again."

"You can't..." she was in shock, so much at once. "Where will you go? How long-"

"i don't know." he spoke again. "But I can't let her stay here. She wants to go to the police; turn herself in and I just...I can't."

Brooke held him against her again. Her mind a blur and her heart beating dangerously fast as silent tears fell to his shirt. Was this goodbye? Forever? And what about Haley? They were practically sisters now. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair that this was happening to them. Any of them.

Lucas slowly pulled away, without a word, and went to gather some of Haley's things. Brooke felt like she was falling into a deep hole, tumbling into darkness. This couldn't be real. Any of it. Moving with uncertain steps, she approached the couch, her eyes focused on the side table near it. She picked up the picture frame. The people looking out at her, they had light in their eyes and their smiles the most genuine of any she'd seen, the love between them so evident and pure. Those people had hope and happiness and a beautiful future. Now where were those people? What was going to happen to them?

The picture under the glass distorted under the tear that fell on it. The crying girl looked up from the picture as Lucas emerged from the back room he had Haley's backpack draped over his shoulder, it looked full, and he was looking at something he held in his hand. He looked up and Brooke and she saw his own eyes were moist. This was killing him as much as it was her.

"Do you mind if I..."he trailed off, revealing what was in his possession; it was one of the photos from her wall. The two of them on the beach the day of the end of summer beach party. She'd taken that picture with her phone while he kissed her. She remembered that kiss. She remembered every kiss.

Brooke nodded quietly.

"Take it." she wiped her cheeks pointlessly as more tears only continued to fall. She stepped closer to him; only a few inches between them. "This too...for Haley."

Her boyfriend accepted the framed image of Nathan and Haley; taken right after their quick wedding on that same beach. Lucas wished he could have been there for it. But he knew why they did it the way they had. It had happened so fast, the only witnesses they had had been her parents.

"I guess that's it." he remarked, "I guess this -"

"Don't say it." she interrupted. "Don't say goodbye, Luke, please. Just say you love me and kiss me and promise I'll see you again. Even if that part's a lie, I just, I need you to say it anyway. Please."

He dropped everything he held and pulled her into him for a kiss. A deep kiss he poured every price of his soul into.

"I love you." he whispered and held her small body tight, never wanting to let go. "I love you so much."

"I love you." she answered. He pulled back and held her face still close to his, leaning so their foreheads were touching.

"I _will_ see you again. If it's tomorrow or twenty years from now, I'll find you and I'll still be loving you." he promised. "Today, that day, every single day in between, I will love you...Pretty Girl."

She nodded, feeling still more tears at his declaration and the use of his nickname for her; wanting so much to believe his promise. They kissed once more than, she forced herself to let go. The hardest thing she'd ever done. He grabbed his things and started walking towards the door, she wondered if he would look back at her before he did; maybe it would be too hard to do, but she wished he would. So she could look into his eyes and take his face into her memory one more, and possibly the last, time.

He wasn't looking back, his hand reached for the handle. Then:

"Lucas, wait!" he paused and turned around. She held her own hands together nervously and let out the words. "Take me with you."

-

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	6. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**A/N: Here we go for another round of this party :) **

**First! Addressing some things brought up in reviews:**

**# 1 – I know there hasn't been any Naley so far and I'm sorry to disappoint by saying that there won't be for a little bit. Sorry guys. **

**# 2 – There hasn't been any Nathan on his own either, I can answer that positively and tell you that Nathan makes his appearance in the next chapter.**

**um...I don't remember if there was anything else to remark on. Oh well...here we go. Hope you still enjoy.**

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* * *

"_Love of mine_

_Someday you will die_

_But I'll be close behind_

_I'll follow you into the dark"_

_'I Will Follow You Into The Dark'_

_-_Death Cab For Cutie

* * *

-

-

Lucas could only stare at her for a second. He couldn't have heard her right. There was no way. It had taken him forever to finally get Haley to agree, and even now he wasn't sure she'd actually still be in the car. Part of the reason he wanted to do this fast was so she couldn't take off and run to the police.

Another being if he let himself hold on to Brooke too long he may lose his own resolve to do it.

"What?"

"Take me with you." she repeated, closing the distance between them. "Lucas, let me come with you."

"Brooke, I...I can't let you do that." he denied her. "You're in this deep enough, you don't gave to go any more."

She shook her head and shrugged. "Lucas, I love you." she told him again. "Every stupid ounce of me is completely in love with you. And Haley is like a sister to me. I'd do anything for either of you. How much deeper can I go? I'm as deep as it gets."

"Brooke, I love you for this, but you can't." he argued. "You've got so much going for you right now. School and cheerleading and your designs. Brooke I've seen your website, people wearing your clothes, it's amazing." he told her with pride. "It's your future, Brooke. It's your dream."

He put his hands on her shoulders trying to get through to her. But she shrugged them off and stepped even closer, laying her hands against his chest and shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter. None of it matters, Lucas, not without you." she spoke from her heart.

"You'd be throwing your life away; this is illegal, Brooke."

"I know that." she defended. "I also know if I let you walk out that door I may never see you again. _That's _what I can't do, Lucas. You're the only dream that matters."

"No, Brooke-"

"What you're the only one who gets to throw everything away for someone you love?" she shook her head and then paused a moment as the familiar words, the right words, came to her. "If you jump, I jump."

Lucas sighed, remembering when Brooke made him watch Titanic.

"Brooke, that's a movie." he told her, not believing she was using a piece of fiction as a defense for this. "This is real."

"I know." she stated. "Do you remember when we watched it, and the girl climbed back onto the boat to be with him, even though she knew it could kill her, and I was crying, do you remember what you said to me?"

"Brooke-"

"You said, 'When you love someone so much that they're a part of you, jumping is the only option." she quoted his own words to him. "You said that's the way you love me. Remember?"

"Of course I remember, but-"

"Well it goes both ways, Lucas Scott." she told him. "Because that's the way I love you. So I don't have a choice. If you're jumping, I'm jumping."

-

* * *

-

This wasn't right.

It was as far from right as it got. In the backseat of Lucas' car, wearing one of his hoodies with the hood up covering her profile. His directions: he told her to stay hidden, in case any wandering eyes caught sight of her after hearing the news somehow.

Haley kept her head down, looking at the too long sleeves as she kept her hands between her closed thighs. She couldn't stop moving. Leaning forward, rocking back over and over. She'd shoved her hands away as they were to try to stop their shaking.

Did Nathan know yet? Did he hate her yet?

That was going to be the worst part. When her husband, who she was finally reconnecting with, would hear what she'd done and completely detest her.

She shouldn't be there. She should be in jail. She should be the one paying for her actions, not Lucas who was throwing his life away because of her. He'd be in trouble too if she let him go through with this.

Haley stopped her back and forth motion and nodded; agreeing with her mental conclusions. Hoping her physical self would come out as strong as everything in her head was, Haley reached forward and pulled the adjusting handle of the passenger seat. After a brief effort to apply enough force, the seat in front of her gave way and leaned forward. The old mustang only had the two front doors, otherwise it would have been easier.

Finally opening the door, she maneuvered her way out of the car. Stumbling a bit as she exited, needing a few extra steps on the pavement to steady herself before she regained herself enough and turned to close the door. She mumbled an apology to Lucas, though she spoke it too his car.

She heard rapid footsteps on the hard asphalt. They got louder really fast. The moment she turned from the car a body collided into her. Lucas' familiar arms took an instant hold on her and she might have felt the safety that usually came in her best friend's embrace if she didn't know what they were doing.

Stopping her.

The girl immediately began struggling against his hold.

"Haley." he said as she fought to get away. "Haley, stop!"

He was trying to sound forceful without being loud. They couldn't draw attention to themselves. Someone might get the wrong idea and call the police to come sooner. She had to stop. Someone would see them for sure.

When he'd reached the stairs and saw his car door opening, he knew right away what she was doing and sprinted the rest of the way to stop her, taking the steps two and three at a time.

"Lucas, let go!" she demanded, too loud for his liking making Lucas glance around the complex. "I have to!"

"No." he argued, quieter than her and holding firm. "You can't."

"He's right, Haley."

The small girl stopped fighting her friend, instead turning to see her roommate who'd just approached the two. Brooke would have run behind her boyfriend right away if he hadn't let go of the few possessions he'd been holding to catch her. Brooke picked them up first before coming as fast as she could to where they were by his car.

"Brooke." Haley said her roommate's name, looking at her with confusion. She had stopped fighting Lucas, so the boy thought it safe to remove his hold. "What are you..." she trailed off, looking from her to Lucas then back again. She hugged herself and spoke to Brooke. "I did something."

Brooke nodded at her breaking friend's words. As she'd suspected, the girl was ...were there even any words to properly describe it?

"It's ok." the dark haired girl assured Haley – tried to assure her anyway- as she stepped closer to her.

"It's not." Haley shook her head. "It's bad, Brooke, really bad. When you find out..."

"Hey, come here." she instructed, pulling her friend into a hug. Holding on tight, she could feel the younger girl shaking in her arms. She really was a mess right now.

"I can't undo it." she heard her say while they embraced. "I want to so bad, but I can't. I'm an awful person. He'll hate me. Nathan-"

"No." she cut her off with a sharp voice and pulled back to face her. "You know that's not true. You are a wonderful person; you're a good person and Nathan loves you more than _anything_. Nothing you do can ever change that."

Brooke wanted to say more to assuage as much of it as she could, but she glanced to Lucas. He gestured that they needed to go, and he was right.

"Listen, Haley," Brooke began. "we can't undo it, but we can help."

"Can you see it?" Haley asked her quietly, looking down at her own hands as if she hadn't heard anything that had been said. "I couldn't get it all off."

Brooke followed her line of sight, she saw nothing on the girl's clean, empty hands. But they were what Haley was looking at when she spoke. Brooke took a breath to steady everything shaking within her and spoke again.

"Haley, do you trust us? Luke and me?"

Haley looked up from her still stained hands, silently letting her brain attempt to catch up with what her ears had heard. Once it finally did:

"Yes."

"Good." she nodded. "Let us help."

Haley nodded, letting her roommate guide her back into the car. Brooke chose to sit in the back with her; wanting and needing to be close to her right now. Lucas closed the door once the girls were clear of it. He was immensely grateful to Brooke for getting Haley back in the car.

His girlfriend seemed to have been able to get through to Haley enough, in such a way he'd been failing. Starting the car, he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Lucas," he flicked his eyes into the rear view mirror. He saw the image of his girlfriend there; an arm wrapped around a silent Haley who's head was on Brooke's shoulder. "where are we going to go?"

"I don't know yet." he confessed, honestly not having any plan past this point. "Let's just get out of Tree hill. We'll figure the rest out then."

He nodded to himself as he voiced it agreeing with what he'd said.

"That's what's important."

-

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	7. The Approaching Curve

**A/N: Nothing super cool to say today other than the usual. Thanks for the love and the reviews. Hope I don't disappoint.**

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* * *

"_Then she was crying, Then she was shouting_

_Then I was shouting, now pouring confessions_

_Having no answers, or solutions_

_We barely even knew the questions."_

_'The Approaching Curve_

-Rise Against

* * *

-

-

"Where's your head?"

The driver turned to look at his partner upon hearing the question as he parked the car at the address they'd been given. Sutton turned off the engine and answered.

"I'm wondering what makes a 17 year old try to kill the mayor."

"Well, what makes a _pair_ of 17 year olds think they can handle marriage?" Bettis retorted as he closed the passenger door and looked up at the building. After a pause, he speculated. "You know, maybe it wasn't about killing the mayor, maybe it was about killing her father-in-law. Maybe he was in the way of this reunion between her and his son and she thought she had to get rid of him."

"It's possible." he spoke as he led the way up the staircase and opened the door to be greeted with the sound of music coming from inside. Not incredibly loud, but still louder than was his taste, but then again, the type of music wasn't much to his liking either. "Anyone manage to get a hold of him yet? The husband?"

"Nothing." Bettis answered. "But Nathan Scott got himself legally emancipated from his parents last year; relationship with his dad can't be all that great. Maybe he had a hand in this too. Kill dad, run off into the sunset. Romeo and Juliet."

"Romeo and Juliet killed themselves." Sutton corrected as they finally reached the end of the stairs.

"Bonnie and Clyde then." his partner replied coming up behind him.

The large room was empty, some rock song played through the air and the lights were on. Someone was definitely here. The two detectives walked further into the empty club where Larry Sawyer told them his daughter was working when they'd arrived at the residence to speak with her.

"Man, My after school job was bagging groceries and chasing shopping carts." Bettis commented looking around the space, then called out. "Hello!"

They looked around a moment more for any sign of the girl before their attention was drawn to the stage. A tall blonde girl stepped from behind the curtain holding a box. Looking towards them, she moved the box to hold it with one arm braced against her hip to free up one of her hands. Swiping her now empty hand back and forth across her throat in the "kill" gesture, she shouted across the room.

"We're closed."

"Peyton Sawyer?" Sutton shouted back in response.

Peyton set down the box of records and hopped off the stage. Walking first to the DJ table, she shut off the music to speak to whoever the men were.

Now in the silence, Sutton repeated himself as they approached her to meet her halfway; standing on the dance floor.

"Are you Peyton Sawyer?" he asked.

"That's what my dad tells me." she answered. "Can I help you?"

"We're looking for Haley Scott." Bettis told her.

"Haley?" Peyton repeated confused as to why these strange men might be looking for the girl. Then the blonde registered their suits and made the connection. "Oh."

Clapping her hands together and holding them there she thought of the best way to say what she wanted to use much more colorful words to say.

"Listen, I know she left the tour kinda out of the blue but it was strictly personal reasons. There wasn't some creative fallout or a disagreement with the managers or anything. Ok? She left to leave, she came back here to live her life. She's not looking for new agents or corporate labels right now but I'm sure she'll be flattered that you came by, so thanks, but no thanks."

The two men looked at each other a moment before the shorter of them spoke.

"Alright, let's try again." Sutton pulled out his shield for her to see as did the man to his right. He watched her eyes widen a bit, looking at the badge. "We're looking for Haley Scott. Is she here?"

"Whoa." Peyton let out. "You're not from a label.'

"No." he replied. "Detective Sutton, my partner Detective Bettis."

"And you're looking for Haley?" she checked to make sure she'd heard right. "What's going on?"

"Have you seen her?"

"Not since yesterday." she answered. "Did something happen? Is Nathan ok?"

"What time yesterday?" Bettis asked, ignoring the question.

"Um, I don't know." she answered trying to recall. "Maybe seven? I'm not sure. Do I get to know what this is about?"

"Dan Scott was shot. Your friend's prints are on the gun."

Peyton thought she would have laughed if the look on their faces hadn't told her that they meant what they were saying. It didn't make sense for this not to be a joke, but they looked so serious.

"You're kidding right?" she asked with a nervous smile.

"Afraid not."

"Well then someone's made a mistake because there is no way Haley could shoot anyone. Even Dan."

"Even Dan." Bettis repeated. "That's not the first time we've heard that. He a bad guy?"

"Yeah." she crossed her arms over her chest. "The worst."

-

* * *

-

The sun had gone down a few moments ago, the classic car kept on against the horizon. Brooke continuously looked back and forth between her friend and her boyfriend. They had to have been driving for hours by now, the radio playing softly.

Lucas kept the volume quiet enough that, though in the silent air of the car they could all hear it was on, he was the only one who could distinguish what came through. He was listening for the story to break. Other than telling her that, he hadn't really said much. Wordlessly maneuvering them down the highway and listening for the broadcast that they knew would have to come eventually.

Meanwhile in the back with her, Haley was constantly wringing her hands and bouncing her legs. From time to time she grabbed her head and muttered to herself. Brooke only heard a few words, mostly because her own thoughts were too loud to hear anything else. For her part, Brooke did all she could think to try to calm her down, put her mind at the slightest bit of ease, but nothing seemed to help really. Currently, she heard the girl whispering a nearly inaudible '_Go away_' and holding her hand to her temple.

"Hey." Brooke spoke, putting her hand on her back. Her touch got Haley to look at her; keeping her hand in place she spoke to her roommate.

"I just want it to go away." she whispered to Brooke. All the other girl could do was keep her lips tight together to keep them from quivering and nodded, rubbing her palm up and down her back a few times.

"You want to try and sleep a little?" she offered after a moment. "You'll feel better."

"I'm scared." she answered still whispering. "I'm afraid if I sleep I'll be there; doing it again."

"It won't be real." Brooke answered. "You can wake up from it."

"But it is real."

"Ok." she voiced, nervously sliding some hair behind her ear. "It may be a while before we stop anywhere, and you've been through a lot today. I think once you get some sleep it'll maybe clear your head a little; make you feel a little better. And I'm right here. If it looks like you're having a nightmare I'll wake you up right away. I promise."

"Ok. I'll try."

"Good."

Haley adjusted herself, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window. It would be nice to be able to think clearly for more than a minute at a time. Maybe if she got a little rest she'd even be able to know what was going on. Her musings didn't go much farther than that; taking barely anytime before the draining effects of the day finally took her over and she fell asleep.

Once Brooke confirmed she was, in fact, asleep she leaned forward. Coming between the two front seats, she spoke to her stone silent boyfriend behind the wheel.

"Do you know where we're going yet?"

"Raleigh." he answered, then continued the small bit of plan he'd formed. "We can't keep the car. And Raleigh is far enough away it'll put a good amount of distance behind us. So we'll get there, find a place to leave the car and our phones. I'll call Keith and tell him where to find it. Then we'll get some bus tickets and go from there."

"Go where?"

"Anywhere." he answered. "I don't know that yet. I'm just taking this one step at a time."

Brooke took a silent moment to take in what he'd said so far and spoke quietly. "Keith gave you this car." she remembered, knowing how much it meant to him.

"I know." he answered, looking over the dashboard panel once. He loved the car, but there were bigger things at stake. "I'll tell him where to get it; tell him we're ok."

"Is it safe to call, do you think?" she asked. "If they know we're gone, won't they be expecting us to do that or something?"

Movie and television scenarios of wire taps and cops monitoring any family or friends played through her head. She could kill Haley for making her watch those detective shows the other girl liked so much.

"We should be ok. I don't think they're looking for us yet." he mused, then elaborated. "You and me, I mean. We know they're -"

"Looking for Haley." she finished for him, then glanced back to the sleeping girl.

"How's she doing?" he asked in the quiet moment.

"Sleeping." Brooke answered turning back to him. "God, Lucas, it's like she's in pieces. I keep wondering how horrible it had to be, you know, to make her this way. What it had to be like."

"I know what you mean." he answered in a low volume so as not to disturb the subject of their discussion. "You know, she showed up at my door after it happened and she was just...nervous and terrified and...and I saw the blood and all I can do is wonder what happened."

"She didn't tell you?" Brooke asked, equal parts surprised and disappointed. Haley and Lucas were closer than an actual brother and sister. If she didn't trust him enough to tell him it had to be awful.

"She told me," Lucas began recalling the conversation. "she shot him. That's it. I asked her what happened, you know, what he did. But she said nothing. Literally that nothing happened. She says one second she's just standing there the next she shot him."

"What, like it happened too fast or something?"

"I don't know." he sighed. "The way she told it, it's like there's a gap. Like something's missing. But all she says is she did it. It just happened. I know there's a reason; there has to be."

"So she doesn't remember." Brooke connected. "Ok, so it's probably just too traumatic to process right now. I mean, it's Haley, right? She couldn't do it unless it was her only choice. So it had to be her only option. Which means...Dan was doing something or trying t-"

Lucas slammed his hand against the steering wheel loudly, interrupting her and making her jump by shouting.

"I know that!"

Brooke looked back at Haley who, in her sleep, let out a whimper at the loud sound. Brooke stroked her friend's hair a few times until her features relaxed again and she was certain she was still asleep. Taken back by Lucas' display of anger, she didn't speak to him right away.

The young man looked up into the mirror and saw the effect his outburst had on his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry." he apologized, returning his eyes to the road. " I shouldn't have yelled like that. I didn't mean it, I just...there are only so many things someone could do that are bad enough for her to need to do this. And thinking that someone would do any of them to Haley..."

He shook his head, clenching his jaw. Brooke's warm hand was now present on his shoulder. He felt the comfort in her touch but it only did so much against everything else he was feeling. Taking a hand off the wheel, he reached to his shoulder to cover her hand with his own. They didn't say anything for a bit. Just silently sitting with one another, the soft droll of the radio in the car.

"Stop." the voice startled both of them.

Brooke's first assumption was that Haley was having a bad dream and the brunette quickly turned to wake her as she promised she would. But Brooke found the girl wasn't having a nightmare, she wasn't even asleep. Her roommate was awake and spoke again.

"We have to stop." she said quickly.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked at the same time Brooke asked. "Are you ok?"

"Lucas," she spoke directly to the driver. "stop the car. Pull over please."

Though he wanted to know what was going on, what inspired this, the desperation audible in her request kept him from pressing. Instead he brought the car to a stop on the shoulder of the highway. The vehicle had barely stopped before she spoke a new command.

"Let me out."

"Haley, what's going on?" Brooke asked worried.

"I have to get out." she announced, quickly breathing short breaths.

"Are you trying to run again?" the boy asked.

"I'm not running just let me out of the God damn car!" she shouted surprising the couple.

Lucas immediately reached across the empty passenger seat and pulled the handle, opening the door then getting quickly out on his own side. Brooke got out as fast as she was able, feeling Haley literally right behind her until they were out of the vehicle.

As soon as her feet hit the ground Haley took a short sprint away from the car; the other two following quickly behind. After speeding uneasily away from the road, she came to a stop and fell to her hands and knees. All her muscles tense and her heart racing thunderously against her ribs, her hands clenched tightly to fistfuls of grass and she kept her head down, letting out a loud almost unearthly scream. Long and loud until her throat was raw and her voice refused to cooperate any further.

Lucas and Brooke stood a few feet back, seemingly stuck in place by the display. When the screaming stopped, the crying came. Haley now leaned forward enough her forehead touched the earth beneath her and let the tears and sobs and heaves escape uncontrollably.

She wasn't sure when it was; moments or minutes or hours later, but the grass next to her sank under the weight of someone sitting down. An arm wrapped around her back and pulled her towards a body. Finding herself leaning against the hard chest as it's owner gripped her tightly, she thought for a moment that maybe it was Nathan.

But it wasn't.

He didn't smell like Nathan; didn't feel like him; she didn't fit against him the way she fit into Nathan's body.

She knew this body; the one of her surrogate brother she loved him, but he wasn't who she wanted holding her.

"It was getting better." she somehow managed to say between wrenching cries.

"I know." was all Lucas could think to say to her as he held his best friend as tight as he dared.

Brooke sat next to him, laying her hand on his thigh, fighting her own tears as she imagined he was also at witnessing the breakdown.

"It was getting better."

-

* * *

-

-

Nathan finally arrived home. He'd been gone almost all day. He still couldn't believe what he'd heard. His mother had tried to kill his father. As if his family wasn't screwed up enough, he could now add the fact that his mom tried to set his dad on fire to the list.

His first thought on the drive back had been to call Haley, but he forced it aside. Keeping his phone off, he needed to do his best to process it. He'd decided then, a phone call wasn't enough. He'd shower first, then go see Haley, face to face. Explain. Talk. Most likely end up leaning on her like he needed when it got too much.

He pulled into the driveway and was immediately fearful upon seeing the yellow tape on the grand entrance. Ignoring the _Do Not Cross_ boldly printed on it, he entered his home in a blur. His first thought, his only thought, was that he'd left Haley alone there this morning. What happened?

"Sorry sir you can't be here." one of the people he found inside told him. There were a few of them.

"I live here." he responded then saw that one was working on cleaning a large mass of dark liquid from the hardwood floor. "What happened? Is that blood?"

"Do you have identification?"

"What?" he asked before reaching in his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

"Yeah."

He showed the man who he was.

"What happened?" he asked again, panicking. "My wife, she was here alone. Is that her blood? Did something happen to her?"

"It's not your wife's sir." he paused. "Dan Scott was shot today."

"He was...what?"

"Detectives Sutton and Bettis are leading the case. I'll get you contact information they'll be able to tell you more."

Nathan was already running away from the man; up to his bedroom where he'd seen her last. For some reason he expected her to be there, waiting for him. Like nothing happened. As if he hadn't been gone all day, like it had only been a few minutes and she was still under the covers sleeping. But she wasn't.

In the empty room, the bed was still a mess. Haley always made the bed when she left; even before they were married when she'd stay over at his apartment she'd make the bed before she left. He teased her for it, making his bed. But today she didn't.

Nathan pulled out his cell and powered it up. Once it was on, he received an alert telling him he had five new voice mails. Holding the phone to his ear, he began to listen to them one by one.

"_Hey Nate," _his brother's voice. "_Listen, man, I'm bored out of my skull, heading over to the Rivercourt-"_

Nathan deleted it. Not waiting to hear the rest of the unimportant message. The next:

"_Hello, this is Dr. Samburg from Tree Hill Memorial Hospital leaving a message for __Nathan Scott. It's in regard to your father Dan, if you could come by -"_

He moved to the next. Lucas again though not the casual way he'd heard it before. This one was panic.

"_Nathan! Where the hell are you? Look something big happened and it's still happening. Wherever you are, whatever your doing you need to drop it. It's about Haley. Damn it."_ the last words hissed quietly before the message ended.

Nathan's heart was beating frantically. Dan _and_ Haley? Someone hurt them both. Who could want to hurt her?

He was ready to rush over to his brother's house to find out what the hell had happened while he was away. But stopped when the next message began. Her sweet voice invaded his ears, but it did not give him the comfort it usually did. Something was wrong.

"_Hi Nathan. It's me."_

-

-

-

-


	8. Audience Of One

**A/N: So with all the intensity of we saw in the promo for these last four episodes I was definitely expecting more haley in this past ep. It was a decent enough episode, but I expected a lot more after such a long break. **

****spoiler****

**Did anybody else see the big flashing "MARRIAGE" thing coming the second the words "visa" and "deported" were used? Come on. **

**Anyway, props to BJG for the ability to completely break my heart in only about 3 seconds. It wasn't even the actual crying that got to me the most, it was watching her desperately trying to make sure she was away from everyone when she did it. Rushing out and closing the doors and everything...:(**

**alrighty...bring it. **

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns_

_But even then we should have stayed."_

_'Audience of One'_

-Rise Against

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

No one answered.

Haley's perky voice recording kept on greeting him each time he called. He continued to redial over and over as he sped with white knuckles through the town. Nothing. Straight to voicemail everytime.

After what had to be the hundredth time he finally put down his cell, realizing he was dangerously approaching his destination. Slamming the brakes and turning the old car wildly, he pulled to the house of Karen Roe and his brother.

His wild driving had him coming to a halt more on the lawn then the actual driveway. Not even turning the car off, he ran out of the vehicle without a thought, knocking over a set of trash cans as a result. Running to the side door that led to his brother's room, Nathan didn't pause for a moment before bursting through it.

No one.

"Haley!" he shouted, then: "Lucas!"

The panicking teen quickly went through the other door. Ready to storm the entire house, but was met in the hall by a very shocked Karen. The petite woman spoke in surprise.

"Nathan." she greeted, clearly not expecting to find anyone other than her son in the house at this time. "You scared me."

"Where are they?" he asked. "They're here, right?"

"Who's here? Nathan what's wrong?"

"I don't know." he told her. "The-The police were at my house, they said my dad was shot and Lucas said I had to come over. That it was about Haley."

"Wait, wait. Slow down." she instructed. "Dan was shot?"

"I guess." he answered. "Ms. Roe, Haley was at the house when I left this morning and now she's not answering her phone. Whoever shot him could've done something to her too."

"And Lucas knows about this?" recallin gher son's odd behavior earlier.

"Is he here?" Nathan asked. "Is Haley?"

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I haven't seen Haley, and as far as I knew Lucas was in his room."

The older woman's mind suddenly a flurry of worry for both absent teenagers; one: her child, the other: the same in all ways that mattered. If Lucas knew soemthing happened, someone hurt Haley, she knew he'd go after them with all the wrath of an older brother. He wouldn't be thinking straight, and if he was going after people with guns; the kind of people who could do this, he could end up hurt too or worse.

Karen passed by Nathan and entered her son's bedroom and grabbed the housephone on his desk, beginning to dial his cell phone.

"Did you try Lucas' cell yet?" she asked as she put the phone to her ear.

Nathan shook his head, he hadn't even thought to call his brother as he flew across town in a haze. All he thought about was getting in touch with his wife and hearing her voice telling him she was ok; seeing it with his own eyes. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he was letting himself believe.

Maybe Haley _had_ been there when it happened. Maybe she saw it all go down and it scared her too much to stick around for the police to show up and went to Lucas. He would probably take her somewhere to help calm her down, make her feel safe. Like the cafe roof where he knew they used to always hang out, or the Rivercourt, or...her apartment.

He was such an idiot. She was probably safe and sound at the apartment and Luke and Brooke were taking care of her at that very moment that he was here freaking out. He heard Karen start speaking and was relieved to know she'd gotten ahold of his brother; unless she was leaving a message. Nathan found himself unable to hear her words.

Something caught his attention, though he wasn't sure why just yet. His legs took him closer to the open closet, his eyes on the floor. He reached to the floor and grabbed the wadded fabric at the top of a small pile. He knew this shirt.

He'd seen it many times: folded and neatly set, carelessly forgotten on the floor. Most recently he'd seen it laying over the delicate features of her torso, just before he'd peeled it up over her head.

This was the shirt Haley had been wearing last night. His heart started rounding painfully in his chest and the air suddenly was incredibly difficult to take in. He felt it before he knew exactly what it was. Loosely grabbing the hem of the shirt, letting it fall open revealing it's entirety.

Karen looked over, still speaking into the phone and froze. Nathan forced his eyes away from the bloodied clothing and met the older woman's wide stare. Looking down once more at the clothing in his hands, he spoke; his voice shaking with more fear than he'd ever known was possible.

"This is Haley's."

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

Lucas stifled a yawn and ran a hand through the shagged blonde mess on his head, standing in line one person behind the teller at the bus station. He had been looking for several minutes at the display for a course of action. He had no idea where they should go. But after enough of trying to think logically of a good place for them to go and hide, he decided it would be just to simply get on the first one that was leaving. As good a plan as any, put more distance between them and Tree Hill as possible until they could eventually think of a solid course.

Checking the time it was only about 9:45, but he felt like it was long after midnight. The next one left at 10:15 and was loading in about ten minutes: to Philadelphia. Roughly a seven hour ride, about 400 miles away give or take. It would do. When it was finally his turn, he stepped up to the window.

"How can I help you?" the curly haired red head asked him. Lucas opened his mouth to give her the information when his eye caught the television hanging up in the corner; a picture of Dan on the screen.

"Can you turn that up?" he asked quickly, focused on it.

"Um, sure." the woman behind the counter did so just enough for him to hear the newscaster's voice.

It was a man's voice, telling the world that Mayor of Tree Hill Dan Scott was shot earlier that day in his family home and is expected to make a full recovery. That the police are investigating the crime. Then a picture of Haley, it was the mugshot from her arrest with Brooke and Peyton. It would have been hilarious to see Tutor Girl Haley James in a mugshot if they were able to laugh about it. If he weren't so completely terrified by everything that happened and continued to happen.

The same voice said her name; said she was a person of interest in the shooting, said some people might remember her from touring with The Wreckers earlier in the year. Then he read aloud the number on the screen, instructing people to call if they had any information that may be helpful.

"Crazy right?" the voice pulling his attention from the broadcast just as it switched over to a weather report.

"I'm sorry?"

"That girl in on shooting that mayor guy." she elaborated. "Me and my sister saw that tour in Chicago when I was there. She's pretty good; you ever hear any of her songs?"

"Yeah." he answered distractedly, looking to his right where Brooke and Haley sat on a bench near the payphone he'd be using shortly. His hoodie once again hiding the smaller girl's face from wandering eyes. He was thankful she agreed to do it, especially now that she her face had just flashed on the tv for everyone who was looking to see. "A few."

"She seemed sweet." the tellar continued to recall her experience. "The way she talked to the crowd and was, like, surprised when people cheered or asked her to sign stuff. Wouldn't imagine she'd go trying to kill some small town mayor. Guess it just shows you only see what they want you to see, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." he answered, his mind on way more important things.

"I'm sorry." she apologized. "I'm rambling and you just want to get where you're going, right?"

"10:15 to Philadelphia." he answered. "3 of them."

"Alright. That has a stop over. You'll be switching buses in-"

"That's fine." he interrupted puling out his wallet.

She gave him the price and Lucas counted out the cash. Before going to Brooke's he'd stopped by the bank and all but cleared out everything he had. He knew using cash was the safe thing to do. He knew, however, that Brooke kept a credit card just in case.

After getting the printed tickets, he thanked her and walked over towards the girls, looking over his shoulder once in the direction he'd come from.

"You guys ok?" the dumbest question imagineable at that point.

"We're fine." Brooke answered for both them after a moment of silence. "How'd it go? Are we set?"

"Yeah. Philadelphia." he answered.

"Great." Brooke answered nervously. "Never been."

"Me either." Lucas told her shrugging.

"What about you, Tutor Girl?" Brooke asked the silent girl. "Ever rock Philly on the tour."

"Pittsburgh." she answered softly, not saying anymore.

At the mention of the tour, Lucas winced involuntarily. She'd been all over during the tour people could already recognize her if they went to a show or got the cd or saw a poster or read an article or one of a million other ways her face had already spent time in the spotlight. Now it was back in it for a different reason.

"I'll call Keith, then we'll board." he informed.

Turning to the payphone, he dialed first the garage, knowing that when he wasn't with Karen, he was at the shop. But there was no answer.

So Lucas called his cell phone. He got an answer, hearing the familiar gruff voice that had been a father to him his whole life.

"Hello."

Lucas swallowed a lump in his throat and forced himself to speak. "Keith."

The man's voice instantly became harsher.

"Lucas!" he hissed. "Where the hell are you? Your mother is worried sick."

"You...You've talked with her?" he asked quietly, he didn't want to imagine what he was putting her through.

"Talk to her? She's been crying nonstop since she got to the hospital." he answered.

"Hospital?" he repeated, momentarily forgetting about Dan's situation.

"Dan." Keith answered. "He was shot, Luke. He's going to be fine, but Nathan thinks...he thinks something might have happened to Haley...and that you know about it."

"He's there?"

"He's talking to the doctor. Waiting for Dan to wake up so we can ask him, the police can talk to him." he told his nephew. "Lucas, he found a shirt in your room, one of Haley's. Says it's got blood on it. God, what's going on Lucas?"

Lucas looked over at at Haley's still form. He'd put her shirt in his bag before they left his house. He tried to remember if he'd left her alone with it. But why would she leave it behind on purpose? To get caught? She was determined to pay for this despite his protestations.

"Keith, listen," he started. "I'm ok. Haley's..." he couldn't bring himself to say she was ok. "Haley's not hurt. I called to tell you that. And tell you your car, the one you gave me, it's in the parking lot of a hotel. It's called Suite Dreams."

"What are you-"

"It's in Raleigh." he interrupted. "My phone is in the trunk with the keys. The doors are locked, mom has the spare."

"Lucas, what the hell is going on? What are you doing?"

"Will you please just tell mom I'm alright? That I love her." he ignored the question. "You too. You know I love you too."

"Lucas-"

"You're talking to Lucas?"

Nathan's voice in the background before a noticeable exchange of the phone was heard. Lucas could invision his short tempered brother pulling the phone out of their uncle's hand.

"Lucas!" Now Nathan's loudly in his ear. "Lucas, what happened? Is Haley with you? Is she alright?"

"Listen, Nate-"

"Nathan?" Haley's ears perked hearin gher husband's name. She stood up and moved to stand by him. "That's Nathan?"

Nathan could hear her voice, she was near the phone.

"Haley!" he almost shouted as if she would maybe hear him and get the phone from his brother. "Haley! Lucas, put her on. Let me talk to her."

Lucas felt torn, both halves of the married couple in his ears demanding he let them speak to one another. He'd gladly hand the receiver over if he weren't concerned with what Haley might say or admit to. Him being in the hospital, in a public place where the police were waiting to speak to his father. If Nathan overreacted, or repeated something a little too loud, it could end up giving them everything they need to find them.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"What?" Nathan asked while on the other end, Haley demanded to know "Why?"

Lucas glanced at his best friend, the hood had fallen back in her quick rise and approach to him and he quickly gestured to her to put it back up. When she didn't, Brooke rose too, lifting it back up for her roommate and suggesting they start loading and get good seats while Lucas finishes the conversation.

Haley was verbal in debating and he noticed a few people had turned to look their way. He couldn't hear what Brooke was saying to her to calm her down and get her to agree, because really all he heard was his brother screaming in his ear.

"What the hell, Luke!" Nathan shouted into the phone.

"I'm sorry." is what he said; all he really could say. "We've gotta go."

"Go where?" he asked angrily, not caring the attention he was drawing in the room. "Where are you? Are you still in town? Are you in North Carolina? Lucas where's my wife?!" he screamed the last question only to bemet with the dead air of a disconnected call.

Nathan stared as the phone a moment before letting go, it dropping to the tile floor. Without missing a beat, he spun around and drove his fist into the wall.

Breathing heavy, he turned back around, feeling a hand on his shoulder and his unlce saying his name. He looked at Keith's sad eyes then behind the man where the officers were looking at him curiously.

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Lucas looked at the people around him after hanging up the phone. He hoped none of them would remember this, or think it was anything other than a small argument among friends before taking a trip. It was nothing. He closed the space between him and the girls as they stood in line to board the bus.

"Let's go."


	9. Bullet The Blue Sky

**A/N: So it seems my laptop may finally have taken a punch it cannot recover from. I don't know for sure yet, but I do know it has been busted for a few weeks and there's no end in sight just yet. **

**So, unfortunately, it will be taking longer for me to update my stories as I'm now sharing the desktop with the 7 other people in this house. Anyway, here you go!**

**x**

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"In the howling wind comes a stinging rain

See it driving nails

Into the souls on the tree of pain

From the firefly, a red-orange glow

See the face of fear

Running scared in the valley below."

'Bullet the Blue Sky'

-U2

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x

The seat was surprisingly comfortable.

Having never actually been on a bus, other than the bright yellow school bus she'd rode everyday until she was freed from that shackle by getting her license, Brooke really didn't know what to expect. All she could picture was those hideous bench seats made of the cracked and peeling material. Sure, she knew they didn't actually make these kinds of busses like that, but it was the only reference she had. Now sitting in the cushioned seat next to Haley and across the aisle from Lucas, she was thankful for the tiniest of blessings in this situation. At least she wouldn't be completely uncomfortable for the next seven or eight hours.

She glanced towards the girl next to her. Haley was wordlessly staring out the window though it was mostly black out there save for what was lit under the streetlights and the lights of the still open businesses nearby. Nothing really to look at; nothing spectacular, Brooke had been to Raleigh a few times with her parents when her father had business there or some charity party that the high end threw to feel better about having more money than they needed by paying a thousand dollars a plate that went to some organization or another. That was, until she got a bit older, and her parents discovered it was easier to just leave her behind with their own donation to her.

Staring at the silent girl who still looked out at the speckled darkness, Brooke took a breath in and out before turning to face the opposite direction, looking over at Lucas and whispering. "Lucas."

"Lucas." he heard his girlfriend's barely audible whisper after another try from her seat. He leaned away from the empty seat at his side and closer to her. When he was close enough she started up again in the same whispered tone; just for his ears.

"Lucas, maybe this isn't a good idea." she mused, looking once over her shoulder at Haley before leaning farther into the aisle towards him. "What if she has another...freakout," somehow saying the word quieter than the rest of her already hardly heard sentence. "in front of everyone? Are you sure we can't double back for the car?"

Lucas opened his mouth to respond, quickly shutting it when they had to pull apart to let a woman walk down the lane; people still loading the departing bus.

"Brooke." he whispered back once it was clear. "it's going to be ok, alright? Keeping the car would have hurt us eventually once they knew to look for it." he sighed. "I don't blame you for being scared. If you want, I'll get you a ticket back to Tree Hill once we stop to switch busses, but Keith knows now we came here to Raleigh, maybe the police know too, by now, so we can't waste time here. But once we unload, I'll get it for you and you can go back. You go back now, pretend none of this happened, you won't get in any trouble. I doubt they have any reason to suspect you yet."

"I want to be here, Luke." she replied. "For both of you."

"I love you for that." he offered but the small smile disappeared as quickly as it came. "There's something you should know though, before you make up your mind about going back and it's too late."

He looked around and she knew it wasn't good. But what _had_ been good about this day?

"What is it?" she whispered.

"At the ticket counter, there's a tv." he sighed.

"Lucas." she spoke heavily, having a wretched feeling she knew what was coming.

"It's on the news, Brooke." he informed. "What happened, Haley's name, her picture."

"Was anyone watching? You think anyone saw us? Recognized her?" she asked suddenly terrified.

"I don't know." he answered a strain in his whispered voice. "The woman at the counter, she talked about it. Said she saw Haley play a show once. But the way she was talking about it, it was nonchalant. Like it wasn't the first time she'd heard about it."

"You think it's been on the news for a while?" she asked, this getting worse and worse by the word. "Why didn't we hear about it on the radio?"

"I don't know." he shrugged. "Maybe it wasn't released until after we left the car. You know, the cabbie wasn't exactly listening to CNN."

"What-What do we do?" Brooke asked, brushing her hair nervously behind her ear.

"We've got to be careful." he answered with the obvious. "Very careful. When we go...wherever we go, we lay low, we stay low. I know we don't really have a plan right now-"

"Excuse me?" a man's voice interrupted. The two looked up at him. "Sorry, is that seat taken?"

Lucas looked at the empty seat next to the window beside him as if not understanding the question at first.

"Um, no." he finally answered. "No, go ahead."

He stood up allowing the stranger to take the seat. Lucas looked at Brooke, telling her with apologetic eyes that their conversation would have to end there. He sat back down and immediately heard the man's voice again.

"Girlfriend?"

"What?" he asked, looking at his new neighbor.

"That girl; you two looked pretty close." he gestured to Brooke. "She your girl?"

"Uh, yeah." he answered, looking briefly over at her and then back. "Yeah, she is."

"Pretty." he commented.

"Thanks."

"Michael." he introduced, holding his hand out expecting Lucas to take it.

The teen took a moment to think, he didn't care to go around leaving a trail of people who had more reason to recognize any of them. But being rude and snubbing the guy was a great way to do just that anyway. So he grabbed the man's hand and shook it, returning with his own introduction.

"Henry."

_00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

The world slowly came into focus around him.

Sound and smells and lastly, finally, sights. His eyes blinked a few times to sharpen his surroundings. He quickly recognized all the familiarities right away.

A hospital.

He felt a tension in his chest and a pain when he moved his arm. The two making him wondering right away if he'd had another heart attack. With his HCM a second heart attack more than likely would have killed him. That's what the doctor said anyway. But he knew something the doctor obviously didn't.

It would take a lot more than that to kill Dan Scott. Even as the thought came to him and he was reminded that he'd already survived one heart attack and an arson attempt on his life, the memory of what happened to put him there came at him fiercely.

He was shot.

Lifting his arm slowly, testing the limits of pain there. It hurt like hell. Grimacing, Dan checked himself over for any other wounds. Finding none, feeling only what he'd already determined for himself, he immediately grabbed the call button and pressed it, eager to be released as soon as possible.

He'd been shot.

Shot by her.

Haley.

The little witch dressed up as an innocent. The predator who refused to pull back her claws from his son. Both of his sons, come to think of it. Both Nathan _and_ Lucas had some misguided affection for her. Dan could care less for the relationship with his oldest; but with Nathan...

He had tried to talk sense into Nathan from the very beginning. Coming so close during their separation. Nathan had agreed to move back in. He'd even gone as far as to sign annulment papers and ask Dan to get them to Haley, which he did. It all looked to be turning out exactly as he'd hoped for.

But then she showed up and he never saw or heard anything about the papers again.

Dan's eyes widened slightly as he made the connection he was looking for. His daughter-in-law had really only been a blip on his suspect list, but now he could see the pieces laid out in front of him. Her return the very day of the fire. Turning up at his house just as the news reached his family that it had happened. Now she'd shot him.

It was her.

Haley started the fire.

She tried to kill him by setting his dealership on fire and when that didn't work she tried a more direct method. Too bad for her she was a lousy shot. He looked at the sliver of window on the door to his room and saw a man in uniform. The police were there.

Did they know it was her who did this? Had they got her yet?

Part of him hoped they didn't just yet, wanting to be a part of it; be there for it.

Dan felt the fire burning and silently promised himself as the door opened that the police would be a godsend for her compared to him. If they hadn't apprehended her just yet, she better hope they did. If...when he got his hands on his twice attempted murderer, everything this town and judged and criticized him for would look like charitable acts.

He decided though, he wouldn't keep the information from the police when they asked him about what happened. He'd tell them who it was; let her world be torn piece by piece, her name ruined and everyone see who she really was before he finally unleashed a rage of sin against her for what she'd done.

"Hello Mr. Mayor." the young doctor greeted as he came to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Dan gave him a smile.

"I feel great."

"That's good to hear." he answered. "A bit of a surprise though. Don't usually get people who've been shot saying they feel great."

"I'm full of surprises."

_00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

Nathan paced back and forth outside his father's hospital room, continuously glaring towards the officer standing at the door. His dad had been shot. For a normal seventeen year old, that should register at the top of his list of concerns at the moment. But, with his life being anything but normal, there was something that was higher on that list, it was always higher than everything else. His wife.

His wife, who he'd just learned was supposedly the one who pulled the trigger against his father. Who the police were searching for, yes, but as a criminal not a victim. Who was apparently, for lack of a better phrase, on the run...with his brother.

Keith had reluctantly told them where Lucas had told him to go for the car, just wanting them to be safe; this was after they'd vigorously grilled Nathan.

Asking where he'd been all day - He didn't tell them what his mother confessed to him though.

The last time he'd seen her – He didn't tell them how breathtaking she looked sleeping in his bed with the early morning light complimenting her with an angelic glow.

They implied it was a scheme he was a part of. Or that maybe the scheme had been between her and Lucas. Maybe they'd been under his nose, behind his back the entire time and Dan found out about it. Maybe that's what happened, they wanted him to think.

And all Nathan wanted to do was slug them and then do the same to Dan over and over and demand to know what he'd done. But instead he'd held his fists and tightly called them liars and denied playing in their little game. Maybe they thought those things were possible, but only because they didn't know her.

Now he was waiting for his turn to talk to Dan while one of the two who'd questioned him was in there and the other had left with a guy in a uniform to head to Raleigh. Originally Nathan tried to follow until Keith instructed him to stay with Dan, promising since he was going along to allow them into the car anyway, that he'd take care of her if they found her. Make sure they treated her right, and Nathan trusted him to do that. He knew Keith was as much family to her as Karen was.

So he went, and Nathan waited, with fists clenched tightly at his sides. Going back and forth anxiously until finally the door opened and the younger of the two detectives exited; Nathan didn't care to remember the name he'd given when they first met.

Putting a notepad away inside his jacket, he turned to Nathan when he approached.

"What did he say?" he asked right away.

"He confirmed that it was your wife that shot him. I'm sorry." he answered.

"Did you ask him what happened?" Nathan asked angrily, stepping close to the man. "You ask that son of a bitch if he hurt her?"

"Mr. Scott, step back." he suggested to the teen's threatening closeness. He didn't want to arrest him for assaulting an officer and give him more to deal with on top of everything. After the people they'd already talked to, everyone insisting that Haley Scott wouldn't without a terribly good reason and that Dan Scott wasn't a particularly clean character, yes, he did ask those questions, and he told Nathan that once he backed up. "Yes. He recounted events saying she left in the morning and returned later for her cell phone. Says he'd had his gun out preparing to clean it, they spoke briefly he left the room to get the phone, when he came back with it he was shot."

"No. He's lying, there's more!" Nathan argued. "You're a cop, you should be able to tell when someone's lying to your face!"

"Mr. Scott. I understand this is difficult for you, but right now I have one account of what happened. I only have one because your wife is no where to be found, since she's apparently taken off with your brother. She's not here to tell me differently; there's no evidence to support anything different happened. And in my personal experience, innocent people don't run away."

"Even if the mayor has the city in his pocket and the police wouldn't believe her anyway?" he asked; remarkably, dangerously close to hitting a cop.

"Mr. Scott." the man sounded defensive now. "I'm going to let that go because you've got enough going on right now, but I will assure you that there is no corruption in the Tree Hill Police Department."

Nathan shook his head and turned away before he actually went through with his urge to deck him.

"Can I talk to him?" he asked when he finally turned back around to face him.

"I can't have you threatening or intimidating a victim." he stated.

"I won't, ok? You can even send your lap dog in with me if you want." he gestured to the officer standing at the door. "He'll keep an eye on me and pull me back if I'm being a bad sport. I need to talk to him."

Bettis nodded at him then tilted his head at the officer in dress blues.

Nathan walked away and quickly entered his father's hospital room, ready to get to the bottom of this.

He didn't care who was watching.

x

x


	10. Haunted

**Hello again lovely ones. I have so many apologies that there's really no time for them, if you want to read this chapter the same day you clicked the link. As I've said, my laptop has passed to a better place and sharing a desktop with 7 people is atrociouse and leaves little time for me. On top of that now we've just movied and are currently without internet. I tried to update everything before we moved but alas it was not to be. But I want everyone to give an enormous thank you to my brother for being my proxy and taking the chaps I write out and updating for me. He's awesomely awesome and a rookie to the OTH world. (He's only in season 2 Shh, don't tell him anything.) Alright, without further ado, I give you the latest chapter of our emotional journey... **

* * *

_"Watching me, wanting me_

_I can feel you pull me down_

_Fearing you, loving you_

_I won't let you pull me down"_

_'Haunted'_  
_-Evanescence_

* * *

The man beside him, Michael, had tried a few times more to converse with "Henry" and to his credit, Lucas attempted to be polite as possible; answering a few questions here and there. Always vaguely if not completely dishonest. Prime lie of course being names. Quickly he'd remembered the fake I.D. Brooke had given him on their first date, he gave the man the name Henry.

Lucas continuously was looking over at Brooke, "Gretchen", finding her a few times doing the same thing. Their conversation had been cut short by the man's appearance and in the hours they'd been riding had not found themselves comfortable enough to start it back up again. He had the feeling that she wasn't totally reassured with this aspect of the plan.

She was nervous nervous, for Haley, for all of them. Leaning a bit forward to see the otherside of her, Lucas took a look at his best friend. She leaned against the window, her eyes barely open. No surprise she was exhausted; they all were. But he knew she was as worried about falling asleep as Brooke was for her.

"You know," Michael started getting the boy's attention. "I'm happy to trade seats with her if you guys want to sit together."

"No." Lucas answered quickly, then attempted to smooth it with an explanation. "Thanks, but her friend is nervous. She's never done much travelling so it's best if they stick together right now."

The man nodded, accepting his answer and went back to his book. Lucas took a breath; it was genuinely decent of him to offer, but having this guy who clearly loved to get to know his fellow passengers sitting with Haley was not something he wanted to risk.

In the other seat, Brooke bounced her leg anxiously up and down. They'd been on the road for a while, she was afraid to look at the time. Worried she'd see it had barely been any time at all. But the sky was increasingly darker as they rode towards the horizon.

She was tired; if she ever calmed down she knew she'd just pass out and possibly sleep for days. But that wouldn't be until they got to where they were going. Right now, however, she was far too nervous and on top of that had a job to do. Glancing at her quiet roommate, Brooke did just that job and nudged Haley's shoulder.

"Hey." she said when she did so, just loud enough to rouse the girl from the edge of sleep.

Not that Brooke didn't completely understand, but both girls had concerns about her falling asleep on the bus. More specifically around all the people on the bus. So Brooke made sure she didn't fall asleep. At Brooke's urging, Haley inhaled sharply and sat up straight, wiping a hand over her face. Looking around, taking in her surroundings, she then looked over to Brooke. The dark haired girl returned her look with an apologetic one of her own.

"Thanks." Haley said quietly, tucking hair behind her ear.

"You're welcome." she answered, then giving the girl a half smile she asked: "How do you feel?"

"I'm ok." she replied, knowing the lie was obvious but really not caring at this point. She just changed the subject. "What about you?"

"Honestly..." Brooke started, but then decided this was most definitely not he place for it, so she just said the first true thing that came to her head. "...I have to pee."

Surprising both of them, Haley let out a short laugh in response.

"There's a bathroom."

"I know, but it's gonna be tiny and gross." she argued and Haley shook her head amused.

"Then wait until we stop."

"But I have to, like, really bad." she answered. "I've been holding it since that billboard with the zebra on it."

Haley ran a hand over her tired face once again when another laugh escaped her. It was most likely due to everything that was going on, their not only physical exhaustion but mental as well, but the stupid light moment felt like exactly what she needed. Something silly and pointless in the middle of it all. She threw her hand up and asked.

"Well, what do you plan to do?"

"I don't know. It's like Sophie's Choice or something."

"It's nothing like Sophie's Choice. Have you even read...nevermind." Haley dismissed. "What time is it? Can't be much longer until we stop."

"So smart. That's why you're the TutorGirl." Brooke smiled, then turned towards the aisle. "Lu...Henry." she corrected. "How much longer til we stop?"

Before Lucas could answer the man to his right spoke up, pointing out the window up ahead.

"There's our exit now."

Lucas looked out in the direction he'd pointed and saw they were changing lanes to take the off-ramp.

"There you go." he said, turning to her. "Halfway there."

* * *

"Peyton!" he hollered for the fourth time as he pounded on the door.

Since when is her door locked? He's only known her to lock it when she's not home. She had to be home. He slammed the side of his fist against the door again. "Peyton! Open up! Peyt-"

The door suddenly flew away from his touch and he saw the unhappy face of Larry Sawyer before him. At elast that explained why the door was locked. He didn't know her dad was home, he always locked the door at night. A more sane head in that aspect.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded to know.

"I need to talk to Peyton."

"I got that much from all your screaming." he angrily replied. "What's the matter with you? It's nearly midnight!"

"I'm sorry, but it's important."

"I don't care what -"

"Dad." the blonde appeared behind him. "It's ok."

"Peyton," Larry turned to her, speaking calmer when addressing his only child though still forceful. "I've been home less than a day. And what have I seen so far? Police asking me where you are and exboyfriends demanding to see you in the middle of the night. I think it's time you tell me what the hell's going on."

"I'll tell you later. Ok? I promise."

"No." he denied. "I'm your father, Peyton, and I deserve to know what's going on in my house and my daughter's life."

"Dad-"

"And there's no way he's coming in until -"

"Dad!" she said louder, halting his words. She then looked to Nathan, then back to her dad. Stepping closer, she lowered her voice and said, "Someone shot his dad."

"What?" he asked, shocked. He hadn't had the TV on or left the house since he'd been back to actually hear any news about anything. And when his daughter got home and he asked what the detectives had wanted with her she'd answered by saying it was a mistake. Now this. "Do you know something about it? Is that the mistake you were talking about earlier."

"No!" she denied sounding offended. "They're just talking to a bunch of people." she answered. "Can I please talk to Nathan alone?"

"Of course." he answered, looking to the young man. "I'm sorry, son. Hope everything turns out ok."

Nathan nodded to him, then followed his exgirlfriend up the stairs to her room. Finally behind her closed door, he almost exploded.

"Peyton do you know what's going on?" he asked. "Do you know where Lucas and Haley are?"

"Calm down." she requested. "I don't know. I thought this was about your dad?"

"It is." he returned, pacing. "The police questioned you? They tell you they think Haley did this?"

"Yeah. Yeah they came to Tric." she informed him.

"What'd you say?"

"I told them there's no way." she recalled. "Come on Nathan, I know she couldn't have done it." then an unpleasant thought came to her as she recalled the uncertain status of his marriage. "You don't think she did...do you?"

"God no!" he answered put off by the assumtion. "But-"

"Nathan, come on!" she interrupted right away, stopping the train he was on. "You know Haley! You really think-"

"No, I don't think she'd do this, even to Dan...unless she had to." he said the last part cautiously and stopped his pace to look at the girl. He waited for her to grasp exactly what he was meaning. He hoped she did, he didn't want to say it out loud.

"Nathan, what are you saying?" she asked in an obviously fearful voice.

"I'm just...my dad woke up and told the cops it was her. He told me the same thing."

"Well he's lying." she stated matter of factly.

"I thought so too, part of me still does. But they told me they have evidence against her; stuff that proves it." he kept going when he saw her open her mouth, speaking before she could. "Listen, alright? Last night, I came home and there was a note from my mom basically saying she was leaving for good this time I think, then I found out my dad was actually elected mayor. Things were messed up, more than usual. I called Haley and she came over. We talked a bit and...you know, spent the night together."

"Spent the night?" she repeated. "Like, slept together?"

"Yeah." he agreed, though if he was capable to think of any at the moment, he would have preferred the use of better words. Those just sounded so crass. Nothing close to what that night was like. Refocusing, he continued. "But in the morning I had to leave early while she was still sleeping."

"What?" she asked surprised. "What was so important that -"

"Focus." he interrupted, not really wanting to go into detail about why he left and what he was told when he got where he was going. "The point is, I left her in my house alone. Dan obviously came to the house. I know she'd never do it. But what if she had to? What if Dan didn't give her a choice?"

"Nathan, do you realize what you're saying?" she asked of the scenario he was telling her without saying it. "I know you're dad is a son of a bitch, but do you really believe he would do that? Try to..." it was even too disgusting of a word to say where anyone was concerned. "...to rape someone; Haley especially? She's your wife."

"I don't know. I don't want to believe it. But there's only so many ways for it to play out that make sense." he returned.

"What...what does this have to do with Lucas?" she asked. "Why were you asking about him?"

"Peyton I have no idea what happened. But what's happening now is I found Haley's shirt in Luke's room, with blood.."

"Oh my God."

"..then Lucas calls Keith and tells him where to pick up the car, but he won't let me talk to Haley. I mean, I could hear her over the phone. She was saying my name, Peyton. She wanted to talk to me, but he hung up." he looked over at, his eyes full of a multitude of emotion ranging from desperation to fury. "And there's no answer at the apartment."

"Ok." Peyton spoke, trying to process everything for herself as well as for him.

When she spoke to the detectives, she was sure it was just a strange mistake. It could easily happen, Haley had come and gone from that house more than a few times, so it was understandable they'd find evidence of her being there. But now all the new details Nathan just threw her way, she didn't know what to do with them.

"Let's..." she guided him to sit on her mattress and took over his place standing nervously. "Let's just think. Brooke."

She moved to quickly snatch up her phone from the desk. Asking while she dialed.  
"Did you talk to Brooke? If anyone knows where Lucas is..."

"I came straight here from the apartment." he told her. "No one answered their door."

"Right to voicemail." she tossed her phone aside. "Nathan...is this for real?"

"Of course it's real!" he said defensively, almost shouting as he stood up. "You think I'd just make up some story about my father attacking my wife?"

"No, no that's not what I mean." she tried to calm down. "I meant...shit. Do the police, do they think it's possible? Are they looking into it?"

"Not by the way the guy spoke to me." he answered, remember his conversation with the detective at the hospital. "But Dan probably has all of them in his pocket. But I asked him. Dan."

"What did he say?"

"He said he saw her in the bed, that he said some things she took the wrong way."

"What things?"

"He didn't tell me. He swears she left and came back a little bit later and theat's when she..."

"Do you believe him?" she asked. "That he didn't do it?"

"No." he answered, sitting back down. "I can't. Because if I believe him, that means I believe Haley's guilty."

"What do we do?" she asked as she sat down next to him and put her hand on his back for support.

"I think after..it happened, whatever it was, I think she went to Lucas for help." he speculated. "I mean, I was gone and he's her best friend so it makes sense. I think she went to Lucas and now they're both gone. I have to find her."

"How?"

"I don't know. I don't care." he stated with a sharp tone in his words. "I have to find Haley before they do. Before Dan does."

* * *

"Alright," Lucas voiced as he slung the bag over his shoulder. "There's the bus that'll take us the rest of the way. We have about fifteen minutes until it leaves."

"Great." Brooke announced. "I'm going to the bathroom. You guys hit the vending machine."

"Ok."

"Ooh! If they have-"

"Ding Dongs." he finished for his girlfriend, who smiled at him before going off towards the restroom quickly.

Lucas and Haley began walking the same direction at much calmer pace than the rushing girl. Silently at first. He glanced over her. She walked with her arms crossed in the too big sleeves of his hoodie, watching the ground as she walked.

"How you doing?"

"I'm fine." she repeated the same answer she'd given Brooke, nodding as she did so as if trying to convince herself.

"Hey." he said, touching her shoulder to get her attention. They stopped walking a few feet from the vending machine where someone was already there choosing on a cheap snack. "It's going to be ok."

"Sure it is. I shot-"

"Shh." he insisted sharply looking around, eyeing the teen in front of them at the machine for signs he'd heard her.

"I shot someone." she began quieter. "Then I just left. Now we're in the middle of nowhere, and you guys are throwing your lives away because of me. How is it going to be ok, Lucas? How's anything going to ever be ok again?"

"Haley..." he tried to approach the subject as gently as possible. "if you just tell me what happened it will be fine. I promise."

"I've told you!" she hissed in a hushed voice. "I told you what happened. Why do I have to keep saying it over and over again. Isn't it enough that I see it everytime I close my eyes?"

"Yeah, I know what you've told me." he answered skeptical of her claim that there was nothing more. "Haley, I'm willing to be patient if that's what it takes. To wait until you're read to tell me. And when you do, we'll go back and we can fight it. I know we can." he spoke passionately trying to convince her. "But until you do that, this is the only choice I see for us."

"Stop treating me like I'm the victim in this Lucas. I'm not." she demanded. "And choice? This is practically suicide. You doing this means your life is over. Brooke's too. Because of me. I'm the one that did it, it should be my choice what I do next. And you know what I choose."

"We're not talking about that." he stated simply. "I told you that's not happening."

"Why do you make this decision for me?"

"Because you came to me for help!" he replied harshly. "I love you Haley, so that's exactly what I'm doing. Helping you."

She shook her head and began walking away. He automatically grabbed her arm, missing the fact that she nearly jumped out of her skin when he did so.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom, is that a choice I can make on my own?" she asked bitterly, ripping her arm away.

"Hales, wait." he requested in a much softer voice. "I'm sorry. I know you're going through a lot right now and that none of it is easy. And I know you think you'd be doing the right thing, but trust me that that's exactly what I'm trying to do: What I think is right. And I'm sorry, but you behind bars because of Dan Scott is not right to me."

"No." she sighed, not wanting the argument to go any farther. "I know you just trying to protect me. I love you for it but...nevermind."

"What?" he asked, hoping this would be when she'd start opening up.

"No, I'm just, I'm tired and I'm scared and I've, I've got a headache. I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me either." he hugged her; when they pulled apart he lifted the hood over her head. She looked at him, almost appearing hurt by the action. He swallowed, feeling bad but only firmly saying. "Just to be safe. Ok?"

Not bothering to do anything but nod, she left around the corner.

A few minutes later, Brooke emerged. He greeted her; handing over the snack cake she'd asked for.

"Thank you." she accepted it and leaned her back against his chest while her fingers played with the wrapping, not opening it just yet.

"You ok?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm scared." she answered. "Worried. For everyone."

He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her a little tighter.

"Should we be getting on now?" she asked after a sigh.

"Soon as Haley comes back we'll board." he informed her. "Did you see her in there?"

"Yeah." she answered, "She was just washing her hands and asked for a minute alone."

She could feel Lucas nod behind her and sigh into her hair.

"This is gonna change her." she whispered into the air. "It's already starting to."

"For all of us." he answered somberly. "We just have to be there for each other."

"Yeah." Brooke agreed, lifting her arm to rub her hand blindly on his cheek.

He relaxed into her touch for a few seconds. Then he heard somethin gthat made him tense up; Brooke, too, heard it and forgot the comforting moment they'd been enjoying. It was a voice; a loud irritated voice.

"What's your problem?" it demanded to know.

Something about it sent Lucas on edge. He rounded the corner to see a rather upset man trudging closely behind Haley who was without the hood he'd placed over her head. The boy moved their way quickly, meanwhile the man had grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"My girl asked you for something." he stated.

"You've got the wrong person." Haley answered nervously.

"Hey!" Lucas announced his presence coming upon them. Instantly, he stepped between Haley and the man. "Back off."

"Got nothing to do with you." he replied. "Walk on."

"You're putting your hands on my friend, it's got everything to do with me."

"Well, you're friend is apparently some singer or something." he said, turning to a blonde girl behind him. "What's the name?"

"Haley James." she answered chewing gum as she watched the interaction.

"Right. And Sarah wants a picture. But this snob refuses." he informed.

"Listen, there's been a mistake." Lucas told him, hearing Haley say from behind him.

"I'm not her."

"Bull." the girl, Sarah, said. "That's her Andy."

"Listen girlie," Brooke now spoke up. "it's not. Trudy, here is hardly a singer."

"Watch how you talk to-" the man took a threatening step but Lucas shoved him back away from the girls.

"You watch it." he threatened back at the stranger. "It's just a misunderstanding, that's it. Let's just go our ways now. No harm done."

"Maybe I wanna do some harm."

A new voice, louder, came at them.

"Hey!" everyone looked towards the teller. "Break it up or I call the cops."

It was the last thing they wanted, and from the look on their faces, the other couple felt the same. Lucas spoke to the girls behind him without taking his eyes off the man in front of him.

"Let's go." he heard, one of them pick up the backpack while watching Andy finally walk off. Then he turned to walk back with the two girls.

Brooke had wrapped her arm over Haley's shoulders in an attempt to soothe the nerves that'd been frayed by the exchange. Lucas joined them and immediately asked.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, lifting the gray hood back up over her head with quivering hands. As soon as they reached the glass door, Lucas noticed something very wrong.

"No." he spoke, then pushed through the door, speeding outside into the lot. Holding his hands up as the headlights motored on. He shouted, waving his arms as he ran in a failing attempt to catch it. "No, no no!"

Finally he had no choice but to stop, feeling his heart thundering in his chest, he leaned forward putting his hands on his knees and panted. He heard the pattering of feet coming towards him. Rising, he put his hands to his head and shouted up at the sky.

"God damn it!"

After a few seconds, him managing to just about catch his breath, he finally heard Brooke ask the question.

"What do we do now?"

x

x

x

x


	11. The Silence

**A/N: So, I don't have a laptop again yet, but I do have computer access much easier than I had before. Thankfully for that, and internet established in the new house. This chapter, I think people will be pleased with because it has something I know you guys have been waiting for. . . A flashback! A little tease as to what went down. **

**Without further ado...Angels With Dirty Faces...**

* * *

"_The blood that's running through her veins _

_With every beat there's no escape_

_Lost in everything she trusts_

_Still can't seem to get enough."_

_'The Silence'_

-Mayday Parade

* * *

Lucas opened the door and entered first. Finding the light on the wall and switching it on, the trio got a first view of the room that would be their residence for the night and possibly longer for all they knew.

One bed, one chair, a nightstand with a lamp and a chest of drawers with a television on it. He walked farther in, dropping their belongings on the bed then, out of curiosity, opened the closet nearby for a look inside. Brooke took it upon herself to inspect the bathroom. Not huge, but not horrible.

"Not bad." Lucas commented on the overall appearance of Room 3 of the lovely roadside Daylight Motel.

"Who says the lam has to be seedy?" Brooke offered as a compliment to the state of the place. "It's no Hilton, but at least we don't have to worry about sleeping in our shoes. What do you say, H?"

Brooke looked to the again silent girl who stood near the closed door. Since the bus left them behind in the parking lot, she'd only heard Haley use her voice once. It was only to curse, uncharacteristically if someone asked Brooke's opinion. Then again, there was a lot happening as of late that was out of character for her roommate. But then she'd returned to the silence she'd been frequenting, all the while Brooke kept a worried, watchful eye on her.

In the cab, she'd noticed a few times, the girl putting her hand against her head as she'd done before when Brooke would hear her muttering to herself. No doubt trying to force away whatever haunted images that continued to resurface in her mind. Perhaps she was trying more to be secretive about them now, since no words accompanied the action.

But here in this room that Lucas had rented and paid cash for under some pretense while Brooke stayed outside the office alongside Haley just outside the office door, she finally spoke again.

"It's fine."

Lucas and Brooke exchanged a look before Brooke announced she was going to take a shower. Partly because she wanted one before they finally turned in for the rest of the night. Partly because she hoped being alone together, Lucas would be able to try again to talk to her and maybe get somewhere.

Once alone in the room, the sound of the running shower the only thing in the air for the moment. Lucas sat down on the edge of the mattress; the one queen in the room, the only place meant for sleep. They'd figure out the most suitable sleeping arrangement before they all crashed for the night.

He let out a sigh, leaning forward resting his elbows on his thighs and his chin on his joined hands. Looking over Haley as she remained standing, rubbing her hands together as she looked over the room. He kept his eyes on her hands an extra few seconds. She continued rubbing them together, slow determined movements, smearing one palm across the other and back again.

"Out damned spot." he spoke quietly, as he took in the action.

She looked over at him, recognizing what he said and forcing her brain to work. She knew those weren't his words, but it took her a few moments to sift through the mental chaos to find it.

"Macbeth." she replied softly when she finally found what she was looking for.

He gave her a half smile when she did so and held out his hand. Accepting it, she let him pull her to sit next to him. Of course, Lucas would be inspired to think of literature at a time like this.

Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled his friend in to put a kiss in her hair. Neither spoke while he kept his one armed embrace, running his hand gently up and down her arm.

"Do you want to talk?" he finally asked. "About anything? It doesn't have to be about Dan."

"No." she shook her head looking down at the brown carpet. Staring at it, she was overwhelmed suddenly by a picture of the white carpet in the grand Scott house soaking in a mass of blood. Haley's breath hitched and she turned her head away quickly. The boy sitting next to her noticed the action and held her a little tighter, not knowing exactly what was going through her mind but knowing for a fact that it was nothing good.

"Hey," Lucas soft voice again. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes cautiously returned to the carpet, finding only the dark material looking back at her. She shook her head again.

"No." she whispered. "I'm not alright." her voice got stronger. "I'm not alright. We shouldn't be here. _I_ shouldn't be here."

"Haley-" he began to which she interrupted sharply.

"I shouldn't fucking be here!" she declared abruptly.

Lucas was taken back by the outburst, in a major way. He couldn't recall ever hearing her speak like that. Yes, he'd heard her curse before, she was only human after all despite the high standards he'd always held her to, but never to that extreme.

"Haley." he spoke her name again as she leaned forward, putting her hands on either side of her head and he knew she was crying again. He ran his hand up and down her curved back, hoping she could find the slightest ounce of comfort in it.

"I can't." she shook her head in her hands, then sat up again. Tugging her arms out of the oversized sleeves of his hoodie. She continued to mutter , pulling it over her head. "I can't do this."

Lucas could only watch for a moment as she changed her demeanor again right in front of him. Stoic to angry to sullen back to angry once again.

He rose fearful that she'd try to make a break for the door and run off again. His mind briefly sparked that legally he was closer to kidnapping than aiding.

"Hey..._Hey._" he spoke carefully but with enough strength to demand her attention. He stepped up to her, putting his hands on either shoulder and spoke what seemed to be his new mantra: "It's going to be alright." He wondered how many time she would need to say it for it to sound true. "We just need to take a deep breath and calm down and think."

"Stop telling me to calm down!" she shouted, catching him off guard when she shoved her palms against his chest to push him away as she said it.

Unprepared for the force, which normally would have caused him only to take a step back if that, made the tall teen stumble a few feet until the back of his thigh hit the drawer chest behind him. The television rattled at his impact and Lucas let out a wince. It didn't hurt very much, but it was the shock of her response that got to him.

She seemed surprised by her actions as well, her eyes widening a bit before she spoke.

"I'm sorry." she told him right away.

"I'm fine." he answered. "It's nothing, don't apologize."

"I'm sorry Lucas." she apologized again anyway. "I didn't mean...I'm not thinking right with everything and I just, I think I need some sleep. I'm tired."

'Haley, it's fine." he reassured. "It's been a long day and I think we all need to get a some rest."

The blond boy came to her and gave her another hug; it was all that he seemed to be doing for what felt like years but in reality it hadn't been a whole day yet: argue with her then try to comfort her.

But the fact she'd actually physically reacted against him, pushed him away, only set his theory to be more certain that something much more was happening – had happened – to her. Even in their worst fights, she'd never struck him. Not seriously. Never anything more than a playful smack or something. But that had been real.

"What's going on?" Brooke's voice announced her presence as she emerged in wet hair and sleeping attire.

"Nothing." Lucas answered, meeting her eyes in hopes of conveying the message to her that he'd tell her later. "Just figuring out the sleeping arrangements."

Brooke understood that they'd talk later, figuring he didn't want to do so in front of the the girl standing with him. She went along with the excuse he'd pulled out for her.

"One bed, three of us." she mused, putting on her best Brooke to lighten the air as much as possible. "Sounds like a party."

"You guys take the bed, I'll do the chair."

"Lucas," Brooke began already criticizing his plan. "You're, like, three feet longer than that thing."

"The floor then." he said after chuckling in amusement.

"Don't be an idiot." his girlfriend told him.

"He can't help it." Haley commented, surprising them all and Brooke thanked God for it.

The little reminder that her friend was still in their somewhere made her laugh. More from relief than anything else to be sure, but nonetheless.

Lucas too let out a laugh of his own, telling himself that if being the punchline was what was needed at the moment, he would gladly offer himself to be just that.

"Ok. Let's get some sleep."

* * *

Nathan looked at his watch, it was almost one a.m. He drove his car as quickly as he could without being reckless. He'd left Peyton's house and immediately headed in the direction of his wife's apartment.

Thinking of his brief and extremely vague chat with Lucas at the hospital, he tried to figure out where they could be. He heard Keith say something about Raleigh. He didn't know what was in the city that Lucas would take her there. But he knew that Lucas wouldn't just leave without seeing Brooke and telling her something. She had to know something that would help Nathan figure this whole mess out; help him find Haley.

He didn't care what time it was or why Brooke didn't answer her phone. Nathan only cared about finding his wife. Pulling into the lot for the building, he was immediately met with the sight of parked cars reading THPD. Going up the stairs, he saw the familiar face of his old landlady at the top of the stairs watching what used to be his home with Haley.

"Nathan." she greeted him when he was near. "I saw on TV what happened to your father. I'm sorry, dear."

She as a nice lady of about fifty or so. He could never thank her enough for taking a risk and leasing an apartment to a seventeen year old with no job or credit to his name. He'd always be grateful to her. But despite that fact, he absolutely hated her for the next words she spoke.

"I never would've thought she could do something so terrible; your wife. She always seemed so sweet."

"She didn't." he curtly answered, moving by her to the apartment door. He opened it without knocking and was greeted by people.

People that didn't live there; that shouldn't be there. Then he remembered the police cars he'd seen and here they were in front of him. Going through the apartment; going through their things.

"What the hell's going on?" he asked angrily to the room, not caring who gave him an answer. "Get the hell out!"

"Sir you can't be here." he was told. "We have a warrant to search the apartment, when we're finished you're welcome to come back."

Nathan didn't care who this guy in his face was or what his precious warrant said he could do. They were going through Haley's things; his wife's things.

He shoved passed the guy and towards someone who held something Nathan recognized, something he knew no one but Haley was supposed to touch, and he was flipping through it like it was some worthless magazine in a waiting room. Once he was near him, he heard the man commenting.

"How does anyone read this chicken scratch?" he asked, getting a chuckle from someone nearby. "Seriously, I think my 5 year old-"

Nathan cut him off by grabbing the book and roughly pulling it out of his hands. This was the journal he got her while they were dating after he learned she wrote her own songs. Her heart and soul and sound were on the pages of the book the man carelessly criticized.

"Don't touch that!" Nathan demanded, holding a death grip on the song book.

The man right away put on his cop bravado, ordering Nathan to give it back but Nathan refused.

"Son, give it here before you're arrested for interfering with an investigation."

"I won't let you go after her like this." he returned, his fingers white from holding on so tight to her coveted possession. "You should be looking for her so

you can help her, not hang her."

"Ok, why do you think she needs help?" he asked. "Do you know something?"

"He did something." Nathan repeated what he'd been telling everyone so far. "He did something and she had to protect herself."

"Then why did she run?" he asked, trying to calmly get anything the teen may know about the situation.

"Because he's the mayor! Because my father has your whole damn department in his pocket! Who on your whole damn force is going to believe her when his money is talking to you?"

"Watch who you're calling corrupt." he warned. "We go where evidence points us, not where the bank does. If she needs help we'll give it, but we need to know where she is first."

He held out his hand, expecting Nathan to give it back to him. The young man considered it for a moment, even though he knew nothing in there would help point them in any direction. But in the end, he couldn't hand it over.

He shoved the man away from him and turned to leave. In a room full of law enforcement, he didn't get far. He felt himself almost instantly getting pressed face first against a wall. His arms were pulled forcefully behind his back and he felt the book rip being ripped away from his fingers just a second before the familiar feeling of the cuffs on his wrist.

* * *

In the motel, the trio had come to a final solution as far as sleeping went. The three of them sharing the queen; Lucas laid on the edge with a protective, caring arm over Brooke; Brooke with her back pressed into his chest and her own protective hold on the bed's third occupant.

The three on one bed, all facing the same direction, all finally managed to – at their own respective times- fall asleep.

Lucas, in his sleep, snaked his arm around his girlfriend's stomach and nuzzled his face into her hair. Brooke let out a long sigh, though she slept, she felt secure for the first time since they left.

Haley, however, didn't share the same ease as either of her friends as she slept. Her eyes rapidly running back and forth under their closed lids and her face twitched as she was, against her will, forced by her mind to return to the events of the day. Plaguing her slumber with the memory.

_She moved up the long walk, up the steps of the large brick house she'd left roughly ten minutes ago. She'd got halfway to her apartment when she realized that she'd left her cell phone. After weighing the options, she turned around to go back and retrieve it._

_Haley was hesitant about coming back, knowing that more than likely, Dan was still there even though it wasn't his house anymore. It was one of the most unsettling moments she'd ever experienced; waking up and seeing him there. The night before, her and Nathan...it was explosive and soulful at the same time. _

_Then she'd woken alone, and his father was standing in the room, seemingly not caring at all that she was naked under the covers she clutched tightly around her as close as she could to hide herself from view. And the comments he'd made...she shivered in front of the door as she recalled them._

_She felt the need to say out right that he was creeping her out._

_As soon as he left the room, she closed and locked the door, dressed as quickly as she could and ran out of the house. She heard his voice again, this time come from the living room, as she went as fast as possible down the stairs and out the door, she gave no response other than just to leave faster as she felt the sting in her eyes of tears. Of embarrassment or fear or something else completely, she couldn't be sure. She didn't care too much to find out. _

_She just left which led to her forgetting the phone up in Nathan's room._

_Haley wished, more than anything, that he had been there with her when she'd woke. If only his warm body had been next to hers, she was certain that the whole scene could have been avoided. Sure, Dan would still have been an ass, but at least Nathan would have been there with her. She could have felt safer with Nathan there._

_But he wasn't there. _

_He was gone, without a word to her about where or why or when he'd be back._

_Raising her hand to knock, she had second thoughts about doing so. She could just turn around and go all the way home and have Nathan bring it for her whenever he was done with whatever important thing he left to do. Or maybe even Lucas. Lucas would do it for her, she had no doubt. But Lucas would also want to kill his father if Haley explained why she didn't want to go herself...or at least _by_ herself._

_The girl took a deep breath and knocked._

_It took a few seconds, enough to remind her that she didn't want to be there alone with Dan again. She hoped to God he had left, that maybe Deb had come home despite Nathan's claim to her the night before that he thought his mom was gone for good._

_Just as she was about to turn and leave, the door opened and she was more than disappointed to see the newly elected Mayor of the town she'd grown up in._

"_Haley." he greeted. "Pay the stray a little attention and it follows you home" he smirked at his own comment when he saw it hit the mark he meant it to. "A bit overdressed this time. What can I do for you?"_

_She looked down a moment at the unpleasant remarks and pulled her jacket tighter around her torso, already hating this as she suddenly felt the urge to wear a bulky parka despite the pleasant weather._

"_I, um-" feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, she looked up and forced the words out so she could get away as soon as possible. " I left my phone here, but I'll just have Nathan bring it to me, nevermind."_

"_That's not necessary, come in." he told her, opening the door wider._

"_I'd rather stay out here." she told him nervously._

"_Don't be rude, Haley." he chastised. "After all, we're family, and your husband's already upstairs."_

"_Nathan's here?" she asked, feeling better._

"_Probably came back from another round." he speculated making her cringe. "But I'm sure there'll be other takers if you're too busy for him."_

_Haley walked in the house with slow steps behind the man, then once he veered off for his destination, she went quickly up the stairs, wanting nothing more than to see her husband. She was desperate just to feel him hold her. Her heart sank when she reached the empty bedroom. After saying his name a few times, knocking on the bathroom door, she came to the conclusion that he wasn't home at all. That Dan was just messing with her._

_She searched for her phone since she was already there. After a short search, she was unable to find it, she decided to just cut her losses and leave and wait for Nathan to _actually_ return. Why didn't she bother to realize that his car wasn't in the driveway?_

_Reaching the bottom step she heard Dan again._

"_That was fast. Talk about a quickie."_

_She turned and saw him sitting in a leather chair._

"_Nathan's not here." she stated though he already knew it._

"_No." he told her."He's not."_

_He chuckled to himself and Haley noticed for the first time that there was something in his hand. Her entire body tensed again and her heart began to beat wildly in fear just at the sight of it._

"_What are you doing?" she felt herself ask, not able to take her eyes off of it._

"_Me? Nothing." he told her._

"_Why do you have a gun?" she asked fearfully._

"_To shoot you, of course." he laughed as if it was something hilarious. "This is for protection. You know, I was almost killed a few months ago."_

"_You're going to stop a fire with a bullet?" she asked, not understanding his logic and taking a step backward closer to the door. She really was uncomfortable._

"_You can never be too careful." he told her standing up from his chair. He inspected it as he took a step closer to her. "You know the secret to shooting? Don't pull the trigger...squeeze it. "he raised it and the already terrified girl was now staring at the barrel that was pointed in her direction. _

Haley's eyes shot open with a gasp as the sound of the gun going off filled her ears. She felt her speeding heart and the sweat on her body. Gracelessly, she got out of the bed, not paying attention to the moan that came from Brooke at the sudden action, and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet in time, throwing up whatever contents that might have been in her stomach, not much, mostly just the burning acidic substance.

Heaving a few more times before her stomach finally stopped lurching, she lowered herself to sit, leaning her head on the edge of the bowl as her body somehow managed to produce more tears. She was sure she'd had none left.

She closed her eyes and let the cold porcelain soothe her sweat soaked forehead. Keeping her eyes shut, she desperately held on to the image that she saw behind them. The only picture she ever wanted to see when she closed her eyes.

She pictured Nathan.

x

x

x

x


	12. Savior

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I won't further it with a list of reasons or explainations. I will put in this story the same note I put in LTA.**

**I dedicate this and all future creations of mine to my good friend who's life prematurely ended recently. His death has been an incredibly painful blow for me to take and I'm hardly at any point resembling closure. He was a beautiful soul and always encouraging me to follow my inspiration wherever it takes me. **

**I love him and my life, as well as the world, is less than it was without him in it. **

**Onward...**

_

* * *

_

_"I just want to run to you_

_And break off these chains_

_And throw them away."_

_'Savior'_

-Lights

* * *

He paced back and forth as he's been doing for what had to be hours. His emotions were all over the place, he could barely keep his hands from shaking he was so distraught and so very angry. He didn't cast a glance at either of the others who were alos in the cell with him. Nathan just could get a handle on anything. It had been more than twenty-four hours now since he'd seen Haley; since he'd cast that last glance at her peaceful sleeping face, growing only more beautiful with every breath she steadily took in.

"Scott." he halted his movements hearing his family name; his cursed heritage. An officer unlocked the door, sliding it open. "Let's go."

Nathan followed him out until he was a desk facing yet another cop. He knew the process, he'd been through it more times than he'd care to have experienced really. Sign some papers, then the person who bailed his ass out would sign and be given the standard responsibility speech as he was released into their custody. Then he'd be able to get his personal things back and leave.

He felt awful seeing the woman standing at the desk holding her coat and waiting. She saw him and their eyes met. His first words when he reached her were:

"I'm sorry." he apologized, meaning it. "I know you didn't want to come back."

"Don't apologize for calling me for help." his mom replied. She looked at him, sympathy pouring from her eyes. Truth was when she'd seen that very surprising headline on the news about her husband and daughter-in-law, Deb knew she had to come back for her son. When he'd called her stating he'd been arrested, she was already well on her way back. Her great escape lasting a day.

"Nathan, I just can't begin to understand how hard this is for you." she started. "But assaulting a cop?"

"He was going through her things." he stated as if it were a common sense response.

He led her to the spot that held his things. The countere where he stated his name and the officer behind the fence fetched and gave him the things that were taken from him when he was brought in.

"Scott." the man announced, sliding a few objects beneath the wire for Nathan to reclaim.

Taking his wallet, keys, cell phone and watch, Nathan instantly noticed something was missing and spoke up.

"Where's the rest?" he asked. The man before him looked at the sheet of paper then answered.

"That's all of it."

"No." he argued. "There's a book. A red leather book. It's a journal."

"No book." he reaffirmed, checking the paper once again.

"Yes there was, God damn it!" he almost shouted, the officer's eyes turned into an icy glare while Deb put a hand on her son's shoulder.

"Sweetie, calm down." she suggested. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" he snapped at his mother. "It's my wife's, I ad it when that jerk cuffed me."

"If it's taken as evidence, it'll be released after it's been determined unrelated to the case."

Nathan wasn't really sure what he said after that, but the man then threatened him with returning to his just departed cell and his mother was pulling him away. His temper was raging and every word spoken only made it worse. When Deb finally managed to get him out of the building, she took her hands from him and let him stomp a few feet ahead of her. He didn't go far, marching down the steps and beginning to pace back and forth on the sidewalk.

Her heart broke, seeing her only child so pained, so much so that it made her want to take off all over again just so she wouldn't have to see it anymore. But Deb knew she wouldn't leave him like this. She had to be strong for him; be his mother for once.

"Nathan," she began speaking, reaching for his attention. "honey, please calm down."

"I can't." he answered, still pacing, his fists clenched white. He shook his head. "I can't be calm right now. Haley's in trouble and those assholes-"

"Were ready to arrest you again." she finished his sentence with her own thought. "Nathan you're no help to Haley if you're in a cell."

"I"m no help at all!" he shouted, confessing the helplessness that overtook every moment of his existence, Deb jumping at the sudden volume in his voice. He stopped moving to face his mother. "Every damn step I tak to try, I get a brick wall in my face! How the hell am I going to help her when I don't know where she is? When I can't even get into her apartment?"

"It'll be ok, honey." she treid to soothe him as she stepped up and put her hands on his shoulders. As soon as the words left her mouth he hung his head and shook it before looking back up.

"All I can think about is her out there somewhere, scared and hurting." eh said, hsi voice nearly breaking. "She can't come for help beacuse Dan's reach goes, who knows how far. So he can just get away hurting people and no one can stand up to him."

He shook his head again and looked down the street.

"You had it right mom." he told her. "About getting away."

Deb bit her lip, pulling her into a hug before deciding to voice what would surely shatter the trust he was placing in her.

"Nathan, I know you don't want to hear it," she started, pulling back and looking straight into his eyes. " but maybe we ned to consider the possibility..." she hesitated. "...that maybe Haley _did_-"

"No." he abruptly cut her off, pulling from her touch as if it burned him. "No."

"Honey, I don't want to believe it either, but-"

"Stop it!" he ordered. "You're wrong. They're all wrong. I know my wife better than anyone and I know she couldn't do this unless she had to."

"Nathan, you've said yourself she hasn't been herself lately, remember? Not the Haley you married. She left you-"

"That's not-" he began stopping and collecting himself. "That has _nothing_ to do with this. She is the woman I married. She's the woman I love. She's Haley, not you."

Deb gasped a bit at the sharp words. She'd almost forgotten that Nathan now knew about her part in the fire that nearly killed his father. That she'd actually t_ried _to kill him.

"Nathan-" she reached out to him but he stepped back, holding up his hands.

"You're probably wishing he'd been killed by that bullet. That Haley had killed him." he accused. "Then you'd be rid of two people you can't stand."

"How can you say that? I have nothing but good thoughts where Haley's concerned." she defended herself.

"Yeah, this week." he threw back at her. "You've swung back and forth about us the entire time we've been together. You know, he's a dick, but at least Dad's consistent."

"Honey, you're hurting right now."

"You're damn right!" he hollered. "But it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if I"m the only one who believes in Haley; it just makes me the last sane person i nteh world I guess."

He took a few more steps back before speaking once more to the woman.

"I'll find out what happened. What _really_ happened. I'll find a way to bring her home." he promised. "Even if I have to do it all alone. And when I do you, and everyone else, can just stay away from us and out of our lives."

He didn't wait for a reaction, he turned around and ran up the street.

* * *

The daylight came in through the one window. The sun almost directly above in the sky as the occupants of the room slept off the longest night of their young lives.

Brooke stretched a bit without opening her eyes. Feeling the famliar warmth of the body that held her, she smiled. For the briefest beautiful moment, she forgot the wretched events that led them there. Events which came rushing back once she opened her eyes and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. Remembering it all at once, it was almost as if it were just unfolding in those moments.

It was then that she realized that Haley was no longer in the bed with them as she'd been when they fell asleep. Her heartbeat sped up for a second of panic, assuming the worst; that she'd taken off while they slept. But the thoughts quickly vanished when she registered the sound of the running water in the bathroom. Letting out a sigh, she laid back again, looking at her side to the still slumbering Lucas. Taking in his relaxed features, she saw no traces of the heavily worried boy from the day before.

He was simply a sleeping teenager; nothing more troublesome existing. Oh, she so desperately wished that to be true for Brooke knew it had to be killing him; what was happening with Haley. Seeing the toll it took on Lucas, she knew she couldn't even imagine what Nathan was going through. She wished he were there with them for Haley's sake.

Unable to help herself, she took her finger and touched it to the soft patch of hair under her boyfriend's bottom lip. A habit she discovered she loved after their reunion. She ran a fingertip down the small bit a few times. The action stirring him awake.

"Hi." he greeted her in a sleep thick voice.

"Hi." she answered, still rubbing his chin. When she saw his eyes travel the room she informed him. "Haley's in the shower."

"Early bird." he stated with a small smile.

"At least somethings stay the same." she replied with solemn smile of her own. He nodded and all remaining evidence of that peaceful boy disappeared.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"I could eat." she told him, though in truth she realized she was starving. Having not eaten anything but the vending machine snack cakes in hours.

"I'll get some food, then we'll figure out what we do next."

"Is it safe?" she asked worriedly. "To go out. They know by now, that we're with her."

"We have to eat." he answered. "I'll be careful. Everything will be fine."

"Promise?" she asked, getting a grin.

"Promise." he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

After he'd left, Brooke dressed and turned on the tv looking for anything new about them or the shooting. She found only the tail end of a report on a news station. All information was the same it seemed except now pictures of her and Lucas were also displayed next to her roommate's. Her mind flashed to her parents, wondering if, wherever they were, they'd seen that. What would they think? Would they even care?

She shook her head, needing a distraction from thought, she browsed the movie channels the motel offered freely. Anxious for some interaction with the girl in the other room, Brook approached the bathroom door and asked it.

"Hey, Haley, what do you think? Chick flick or raunchy comedy?" she waited, hoping for a response similar to one the everyday version of the girl may give. Instead, she heard only the water. Thinking she hadn't been heard over it, she raised her voice a bit.

"TutorGirl! Should we watch Wedding Crashers for the hundredth time or The Notebook for the millionth?" Still no answer, Brooke stepped closer to the door and knocked. "Haley?"

She tested the knob and found it unlocked. She knocked again against the wood while slowly pushing it open. Brooke cautiously approached the shower curtain, agraid she'd find it vacant when she noticed there was no shadow of a showering girl under the mist. Coming to the tub, she slid the curten aside and quietly gasped in surprise.

"Haley." she spoke her name to the girl sitting in the tub with the water beating down on her. She didn't respond or acknowledge Brooke's presence; simply stared ahead, hugging her knees to her chest and leaning on them.

"Haley!" Brooke said forcefull, reaching and grabbing a wet shoulder.

The girl's head snapped up at the sound and looked at Brooke with surprise in her eyes.

"Brooke." she said her name sounding surprised to see her there, though she'd been saying her name for seconds to get an answer.

"Geez, how long have you been in here?" Brooke asked, noticing the temperature of the water and Haley's skin when she touched her.

"Not long." she answered, leaning her head back down and looking at Brooke. "Did I wake you?"

"No.' she assured. Moving to turn off the water, her hand puased a moment when she saw the hot was turned completely and the cold left untouched. The chill she'd felt gave away the fact that she had to have been in there for some time. She turned off the water, silencing it's addition to the room.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Haley asked Brook was was pulling off the towel from the rack. Brooke looked at her while doing so.

"Is that why you came in here?" she asked cautiously, continuing her movement. She sat on the toilet lid, holding the towel for Haley to take. "Couldn't sleep?"

The girl nodded.

"Bad dreams?" Brooke asked, watching her friend reach a quivering had out to take the towel, the other still wrapped securely around her legs. Haley nodded with a small soudn that made Brooke think about the time as a child when she'd accidentally dropped her cousin's new puppy.

"You can go back to sleep." Haley told her.

Brooke realized that Haley must've thoughtit was still dark outside. Under the impression that she truly had only been in there a short while.

"It's after noon, Haley." she told her, not happy to deliver the news that the girl seemed to have lost touch for possibly hours. "No one's asleep."

Haley stared at the yellow towel she'd draped over herself and nodded. "Ok."

"Ok." brooke repeated. "Um, Luke's getting food, then we're gonna brainstorm. Try to figure out what we're gonna do."

"About what?" she asked.

Brooke stared at her in confusion for a few seconds. She could see how completely exhausted the girl's eyes were. SHe'd bet money that she'd been in there awake for almost the whole night.

"About..." she stopped, rather than rehashing with Haley's worn out mind the dirty details. If she was too tired to remember for the moment, Brooke decided it was a blessing for her. Instead she offered her hand. "Come on."

The girl's cold, pruned hand grabbed Brooke's extended one, accapting the offer and pulled herself up. A few minutes laster, Haley was dressed and Brooke looked out the window for a sign of Lucas returning. She knew he promised to be careful, but she worried still. Especially after seeing their faces on the television.

It had taken a few minutes for Brooke to manage to get Haley to lie down. Though she stated not wanting to; not being tired, Brooke had insisted. Going so far as to usher her onto the mattress while she protested. Her tired voice and body couldn't back up her words. After she put just enough pressure on her shoulders to lay her down on the pillows, Brooke sat beside her.

With the cushion beneath her head, Haley managed to continue her argument even as her eyelids began sliding.

"Brooke." she spoke to fight it, her voice lacking the strength her roommate was familiar with hearing. She slowly shook her head in the pillow. "Don't..."

"I'm right here." she assured in response, putting her hand over hers. Haley's lips moved again, but this time whatever words they created weren't strong enough to reach Brooke's ears.

She remained seated after Haley fell asleep, keeping her eyes on her. Reluctant to look away for fear of what may happen if she did. Brooke finally forced herself to. Standing at the window, she watched for her boyfriend. Glancing behind her, she got the idea, not for the first time, to call Nathan. Thinking maybe he could talk to Haley or even come out to see her, a great deal woudl be lifted from her friend's mind she felt if she saw him. It would be dangerous, but it would be worth it.

Brooke bit her bottom lip, the temptation to pick up the phone and tell Nathan exactly where he could find them was so powerful. Lucas would probably be mad, but she strongly believed it would be the best way to help Haley; to get her to talk about what happened.

She was all prepared to turn adn grab the phone when she spotted him coming toward their room. Brooke wuietly exited and met him just outside the door, surprising him.

"What-"

"She's sleeping." she told him.

"But I thought she was in the shower."

"She was." she answered, hugging herself. "I went in to check on her, she was just, I don't know, sitting there."

"Ok?" he responded unsure of the point his girlfriend was trying to make. Why she seemed so worried about Haley sitting in the shower.

"She said she couldn't sleep. The water was freezing adn she was shivering. Lucas, I think she may have been in there all night."

He ran a hand down his face and sighed.

"Alright." he began. "Look, if what we think happened...if it happened, it's understanable she'd have trouble sleeping, right? That's she'd feel..." he cleared his throat, the territory he trekked was too think with emotional layers for him to easily sort. "..dirty. On top of that, forgetting it completely, she shot someone."

He paused, looking around, not feeling confident about talking about it outside.

"That alone is going to haunt her to a point we can't imagine. Her behavior is going to be off for a while."

Brooke wrapped her arms tighter around herself and told him the rest of her thoughts.

"Lucas, she's carrying it all by herself, I'm afraid..." she shook her head. "I'm afraid the weight of it's already crushing her. She's breaking, I can see it."

"So we carry some of it for her." he reasoned.

"How?" she questioned, feeling like they'd had the same conversation a million times. "Us bing here makes her feel even guiltier. She thinks our lives are gone and over and that it's her fault. And she won't even tell us what happened."

"She will." he answered. "She just needs time."

"How much time Lucas?" she asked, irritated by the apparent stand off approach he was taking about it. "Do we wait til she has a total breakdown? Do we interrogate the pieces of her?"

"What do you want to do, Brooke?" he asked, frustrated. "You want us to back? Let them have her?"

"Of course not." she argued. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saing?"

"I think..." she looked at her feet and back up in his eyes.

"What?" he asked. She strengthened her face, ready to stand up for her idea if he shot it down.

"I think we should call Nathan."

x

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x

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	13. Her Voice Resides

**A/N: Hey hey all! Here's my newest update-ness for this guy. I know this may feel like it's moving at a crazy slow speed, so I address that with two things. #1 - Anyone who has ever had a conversation with me about fics or shows has probably heard me complain about quick fix, shoved in a neat box stories where conflict starts and is resolved in a short amount of time. #2 - Things are definitely gonna start picking up, so we can even pretend that this conversation never happened. :D**

_

* * *

_

_"The clock is ticking_

_My heart is bursting through my chest_

_And now I'm crying_

_The tears are pouring off my face"_

_'Her Voice Resides'_

-Bullet For My Valentine

* * *

"_Why do you have a gun?" she asked fearfully._

"_To shoot you, of course." he laughed as if it was something hilarious. "This is for protection. You know, I was almost killed a few months ago."_

"_You're going to stop a fire with a bullet?" she asked, not understanding his logic and taking a step backward closer to the door. She really was uncomfortable._

"_You can never be too careful." he told her standing up from his chair. He inspected it as he took a step closer to her. "You know the secret to shooting? Don't pull the trigger...squeeze it." he raised it and the already terrified girl was now staring at the barrel that was pointed in her direction. _

_She cringed back, aware that there was a slight shake in her limbs as she held her hands up to her face, hiding the barrel pointed at her from her eyes. She stuttered out._

"_Mr. Scott." From behind her frightened hands. He let out a laugh and lowered the gun._

"_You think I'd actually shoot you?" he asked still amused and walked up to her. "Haley…" he made a tsk, tsk as if she were misbehaving child. "Do you really think so poorly of me?"_

_Haley's eyes only went to the gun he still held at his side. He was large, much bigger than her. Having him so close was intimidating enough, but the gun made it a million times worse._

"_Can you please put the gun down?" she asked, shrinking back against the wall behind her._

_He seemed genuinely amused by how nervous his having the weapon was making her._

"_It's only for protection." He told her. He raised it again and inspected it thoughtfully. "Think of it as a smoke alarm."_

"_I've never heard of a smoke alarm accidentally killing someone." She stated, still uncomfortable around the metal object in his hand._

"_I only hurt people I have a reason to." He told her and stepped closer threateningly. "I don't have a reason to hurt you. Do I?"_

_Her heart thundered and her head ached, he was sending all sorts of panic through her._

'"_I just, I just came for my phone." She forced her voice to state, unable to give it the strength she wished for. Sure, she'd stood up to Dan before, but she'd never been in a situation like this any of those times. "I'll come later…when Nathan's home."_

"_Nonsense." He told her. "Who knows when that will be."_

Haley's eyes flew open as the sound of the gunshot echoed again in her skull.

She sat up, heart racing within her chest and looked around the room. She was alone, but where was she?

Her brain was a flurry, like she was still somewhere in a dream, thoughts and voices and confusion swirling around in her mind. She felt a terrible panic as she took in her unfamiliar surroundings. Haley rose from the bed and spun once to get a good look at the place. A room, fairly small but not cramped.

Focus. Focus.

She tried to get a hold of something, a static thought but nothing remained within reach long enough for her to grab. Haley put her hand to her head, as if it could help the process, before running it nervously through her hair. Surprised, she pulled a group of strands forward to see the dark, damp color of wet hair.

"What?" she asked herself in a whisper, looking at the hair and the droplet it left on her fingers that rolled down her palm.

What was going on?

She stepped back, stumbling when she knocked the nightstand sending the phone and lamp to the floor. She jumped at the loud crashing sounds they both made when hitting the ground. Haley then dropped to her knees and dialed the number she knew by heart.

* * *

Outside the room, Lucas stared at Brooke in shock.

"We can't." he stated. "Are you crazy? He's the first person the police will be keeping their eye on. They probably have his phone flagged for calls."

"Then we'll be careful." She told him. "Call from a payphone or something down the street. It won't lead them right to us."

Lucas shook his head.

"We can't risk it Brooke." He said firmly. "The area alone is too dangerous. They'll send cops around asking questions left and right. People have seen us. Someone will remember."

"Lucas. We _have_ to find a way." She enunciated, arguing her side. "This is the best way to help. If anyone can get through to her right now, Nathan can."

"Damn it Brooke-" he stopped talking, a crashing noise coming from beyond the door reaching their ear simultaneously.

They met eyes for the briefest of moments before turning and charging the door.

* * *

"Hi, Taylor?" Nathan spoke into his phone. "It's Nathan, I was-"

He paused when she interrupted him.

"Yeah that's why I'm calling. Have you, Have you heard from her?"

Nathan put his hand over his face, disappointed by the answer he received. He leaned forward on the couch, elbows on his knees.

"I don't know. I'm trying to find out, too." He informed her. Listening to her response.

"I will. You too. Anything at all, call me please." He requested. "Thanks. Bye."

Nathan sighed, flinging his phone down in frustration. He had called everyone of his in-laws hoping they'd seen or heard anything from the youngest James. But no one could offer anything. He didn't know what to do next; what his next step would or _could_ be. He had no direction in which to travel.

He crossed the room, to where the cleanup crew had wiped away all trace of the event now. Nathan stood in the spot his father had been laying. he imagined him there bleeding before him. Even at the imaginary image of him, Nathan felt a rage he never had before any of this happened. He stomped his foot down hard where his head would have been. it didn't make him feel any better.

His phone ran and he ran to where he'd left it, hoping for news. He didn't cast a glance at the number, only answered it as soon as he had his hands on it.

"Hello."

It was exactly a week after getting the phone call that Nathan sat in Tric waiting. The only occupant at the bartop. It had been the longest week of his life. He hadn't been to school; not caring to, not wanting to hear everyone talking about it.

He spent most of his time on the River Court the past seven days, trying to let the game help the way it always could. Now he sat in the same stool he'd sat in since the club opened that morning. He felt theurge to drink, but couldn't risk being seen drinking underage on such an important day. He was staring at his untouched soda, the ice long ago melted when Peyton came up to him and right away asked.

"Today?"

Nathan nodded, he'd trusted Peyton with the secret of the phone call and the plan that developed from it.

"Will you guys come back?" she asked worriedly. "Ever?"

"I hope so." he answered. "But I don't know."

Nathan accepted that he may not be able to return with his wife right away or possibly at all. He hadn't packed anything, nothing to give anyone reason to believe he was doing anything but going out for the day. The phone rang and both sets of eyes went to it, widened with anticipation. Peyton looked back at him and answered, keeping her eyes on him.

"Tric." she greeted and then visibly relaxed. "Hi Karen."

Nathan too relaxed his expectant mind and body. Leaning forward, on his elbows, he buried his face in his hands.

They were going to call.

He assured himself, hoping the plan Lucas had given him wasn't some ruse to keep them from staying on the phone, or losing his temper and shouting too loud information they couldn't afford certain people to ever hearing. Everything ended up going down as they'd feared. His phone was being monitored. He saw a news story about a lead alerting local police in Charlottesville, Virginia, but nothing about any arrests.

Virginia? She had been that far away from him and he now had to be somewhere else entirely. Now he was waiting for a call to come in to the club so he could finally know exactly where they'd found a new sanctuary and hopefully what the hell was going on.

He raised his head when someone took the seat next to him. Looking to his right, he saw the detective, Bettis.

"Nathan." he greeted with a false smile. "Funny seeing you here."

Nathan glared at him.

"That's true." he replied. "Not like one of my friends works here or my mom owns half of the place or anything."

He wished he could drink.

He wished this guy would leave before the phone rang.

He wished he could turn back the clock and never leave that morning.

"How's your dad?" he asked Nathan.

"Same asshole he's always been." the teen then answered. "But I dno't guess that matters to you guys."

Bettis laughed amused.

"You know, I've been reading up on your family." he told him. "I feel like I really know you guys. You, Lucas, Haley-"

"You don't know anything about us." Nathan argued.

"Really?" he asked, turning on the stool towards him. "Typical rich kid rebel. Multiple arrests Daddy made disappear, basketball superstar, best the state's ever seen, emancipated and married at seventeen. Quite the story. I bet Dad loved that little stunt."

"Stunt?" Nathan repeated irritated.

"Now, now." he said putting his hands up. "I'm not trying to negate your, uh, your love story here. On that note, you know who's story is about as interesting as yours? The lucky Mrs. Scott."

"Don't." Nathan ordered tightly. "Anyone in this damn town can tell you the exact same things you've read. Yo uthink knowing any of that means you know any of us?"

Bettis narrowed his eyes, dropped pretense and stated directly.

"Nathan, we know you got a phone call last week from a motel in Virginia. The manager recognized the photos of your wife and her little getaway pals as guests who'd been there." he informed.

Nathan swallowed, doing everything to keep his cool. The detective stood up and asked.

"What did they say to you?" he tilted his head a bit. "Do you know where they are?"

"If I did, you think I'd be here right now?' he asked in response.

They held eyes for an intense minute. Then the phone rang, and Nathan used all his focus to not change his outward appearance at the sound. He heard Peyton answer and did everything to make it seem as if there was nothing of stock in a ringing phone in the club. The two men kept looking at each other.

"You know something." Bettis stated. "Maybe not where they are, but you're hiding something."

Peyton came up, looking warily between them, hand covering the speaker of the cordless phone in her hand.

"Nathan." she got his attention and carefully structured her lie. "Your mom's on the phone. She's been trying to call you. Should I tell her you're not here?"

She hoped it was convincing enough. Nathan looked back at the man and stated.

"No." he answered. "I'll talk to her. Get it over with. Excuse me."

The glare from the detective followed the young man while he took the phone and restated his suspicion.

"Yeah, you're hiding something." he repeated. "I'm going to find out what."

"I guess I've got nothing to worry about then." Nathan bit, holding the phone. "I've seen how good you guys are at finding things."

The man sent him a harsher look before turning to leave.

"I'll be seeing you around."

Once he was gone, Nathan took a breath and spoke into the phone, Peyton watching nervously holding a rag she'd been wiping tables with.

"Hello?"

"Nathan, are you alone?" he heard his brother speak, from the sounds in the background he'd say Lucas was at a payphone outside somewhere.

"Yeah." he answered. "It's just me and Peyton."

Nathan flicked his eyes up to the girl who had the tip of her nail between her teeth.

"How's Haley?" he asked, remembering the phone call he'd received from his wife a week ago. "Is she there?"

He heard Lucas sigh into the phone and his stomach flipped with nauseous concern.

"She's back at the motel with Brooke." he answered, picking at a peeling sticker on the windowed wall of the phone booth.

"Well, how is she?" he asked, worried by the reaction.

"You remember what it was like when she called you?" he asked referring to what Nathan was already preoccupied with.

Nathan set his jaw tight as the muscles would allow. The word coming out in short force.

"Yes."

"Nathan I..." Lucas paused, the blond boy miles away looked around him taking a breath and grabbed the edge of the phone with white knuckled grip and forced himself give the news. "It's worse, Nathan."

Nathan held the phone away from his head after hearing the words. He forced himself to take calming breaths, keeping his emotions as in check as possible. After a few seconds, he came back to the conversation and cleared his throat.

"How do I get there?"

x

x

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	14. Clear The Area

**A/N: Here we go. Things are fo sholy about to start happening as a lay my bricks down for the path I'm making! Hope you likes! I really liked this one. :)**

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* * *

**

_"Knock, Knock. Are you alone?_

_No one's out here and I was not followed_

_Love, love, you're already home_

_Party's over and you don't look so good."_

_'Clear The Area'_

-Imogen Heap

* * *

Brooke was standing outside the bathroom door in their newest motel room waiting. It was an enormous step down from the last room. Smaller, dingier, in a far worse neighborhood for sure. She hated Lucas going out in it on his own, but she knew she couldn't go along with him. He wouldn't let her risk it and, more importantly, she couldn't even think to leave Haley alone. The girl sighed and looked up to the ceiling, leaning against the door to the room she'd just been expelled from.

Haley was throwing up again.

Brooke had been in with her, holding her hair back and saying whatever comforting things she could think of. But Haley had cast her out during a free moment in which she could speak. Although, speak was a kind word for the seemingly angry order that came at her. The water was running telling her ears that she was now just cleaning up.

Brooke, in the meantime, was mentally retreating through all that had been happening lately. Haley had been throwing up...a lot. At least once a day as far as Brooke knew. Then there was her strange behavior. Brooke was witness - and sometimes target - to several outbursts of a very un-Haley nature.

She would lash out or curse. Then, like a switch was flipped, she'd be herself again; apologizing for it. But perhaps what frightened Brooke the most were the moments like the day she called Nathan. When she and Lucas came in the room to check on the sound they'd heard, they found her on the phone near tears telling her husband in a terrified voice that she didn't know where she was. She'd been so relieved to see them enter, she'd dropped the phone and threw herself against Lucas in a tight hug, clinging as if he'd just saved her life.

Brooke and Lucas had stayed up after she slept, talking about it and, most often, it ended with Brooke crying into him. She was certain it had really happened: Haley had cracked. A psychotic break, Lucas said it was called.

They would wait for Nathan to come and then let him help her, then they'd all decide the best way to continue. At the thought, Brooke noticed Lucas had been gone a long time simply to call his brother. God she wished this would end. That everything could be normal again. As normal as life is when your living in your own apartment and dating your roommate's brother-in-law while all of you are still in high school.

The door opened behind her and Haley self-consciously came out. Brooke could see this was a moment when she was, in fact, the Haley she knew.

"Feeling better?" Brooke asked.

"I'm fine." she answered and cleared her throat, holding her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It's cool." Brooke suddenly thought that she was getting really good at hiding her true feelings from her, or her friend just played along. "I wouldn't exactly like someone watching me blow it either. I'd watch it though. Keep running to the bathroom like this I'm gonna start wondering if you've got a junior growing in there."

Haley let out a chuckle and sat on the edge of the mattress, grabbing a book Lucas had brought back for her when he'd gone out a few days ago. Before she could attempt to return to her page, Brooke spoke again.

"Haley?" she began cautiously and the girl looked up, seeing Brooke approaching wringing her hands. "Is there a ...Is there a chance that you are?"

Haley held her eyes a few moments, not catching what she was being asked.

"That I'm what?"

"You know...Pregnant?" she asked uncertain of the almost taboo word.

"What?" she replied surprised. "By who, Lucas? Don't be gross, Brooke."

Brooke gave a half-hearted smile at the response but sat down next to her.

"You had sex before this happened right?" Brooke reminded her and Haley stiffened next to her as if the realization just struck her as a true possibility.

"Was there... protection?" Haley turned to her, facing her roommate with wide eyes and answered.

"No."

Brooke opened her mouth to speak, but the door suddenly flew open, making both girls jump to their feet. Brooke's heart jumped to her throat when Lucas stumble din without a semblance of grace. The girls noticed, horrified, the blood on his face and the way he cradled his arm against his torso.

"Oh my God." Brooke called out. "Oh my God, Lucas!"

She went to his side, helping him to sit on the bed, hearing him wince as he lowered himself.

"What happened?"

"These guys on my way back.."he answered vaguely, wincing. "Our cash is gone. All of it."

Brooke looked at his face, the blood coming from a wound along his hairline and on his lip and cheekbone. She winced herself as she gently touched his face to turn his head.

"I'm ok." he tried to assure her.

"My ass."

"It's such a nice one." he tried to joke, but she didn't laugh.

When she pulled back his sleeve, she saw the black and yellowing bruise splotching the skin of his wrist and up his forearm.

"Oh my God." she muttered. "Is it broken?"

"No." he told her. "Just a bad sprain."

"." Brooke thought aloud, her mind jumbled with concern. "We need band aids and disinfectants and things... I've got some money still. I'm gonna go get what we need."

"No, Brooke-"

"The drugstore is right across the street. Lucas, you need it."

"I can go." Haley volunteered, her voice reminding Brooke of what she had forgotten, that the other girl was there. She'd been so caught up with Lucas, she'd totally forgotten Haley was present.

"No." Lucas stated right away in a firm tone.

"I'll go." Brooke assured her in a softer voice than her boyfriend had used.

"You guys are here because of me, the least I can do is help my friend by buying some bandages."

"Haley," Brooke responded. "You _can_ help. You can help Luke get his cuts cleaned up while I'm out ok?"

"Yeah, ok." Haley agreed, at least the task gave her something to do that would be positive for the people whose lives she'd effectively ruined.

Brooke grabbed his uninjured hand and squeezed it.

"Careful." he told her and she nodded with her lips pressed tight together.

The cheerleader pulled her hair into a bun, hiding it under the hat Lucas normally wore when he was out. It wasn't CIA worthy, but it would hopefully obscure her appearance long enough to just get in and out of the store. She grabbed what cash she still had and left.

After she'd gone, Haley came to him with a bowl of water and a washcloth from the bathroom. She looked at him and turned to dip the cloth in the warm water stating, to herself more than him:

"This shouldn't have happened."

Lucas watched her face, hearing the water fall back into the bowl as the cloth was removed and wrung out. For some reason, her gaze remained focused on it.

"What is it?" he asked, leaning forward to look.

"Nothing." she told him, dipping the towel back under the surface, pulling it out and wringing it again. Holding it in both hands, she looked at his bloodied face and instructed. "Close your eyes."

He did as she asked and Haley brought the coated cloth to his face to wipe the spilled blood from his skin before attention would be given to the cuts themselves. Holding it inches from his face, Haley paused her actions and looked as she had at her hands a moment before. They were shaking again. She swallowed and tried to concentrate on what she was doing, and doing it steadily. She tried to reason that it was the blood that was making it happen, it was making her nervous. But truth was, it was something that she'd noticed on her own long before this.

With his eyes closed, he felt the warm softness wipe over his face. He knew he could have done this much on his own, but Haley needed something to do to help. She was in an everlasting cloud of guilt when it came to him and Brooke being with her. Eyes still shut, he told her:

"I talked to Nathan." he felt the brief pause in her actions.

"How is he?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"He's going crazy." he told her. "He's worried about you. He misses you."

Haley closed her own eyes and sighed. She missed him too. So much. She turned to grace the picture framed and propped on the nightstand near the bed. Their wedding day. She felt tears pricking her eyes.

"He shouldn't miss me." Haley said quietly. "I've caused him so much trouble. "

"Listen to me." Lucas requested, opening his eyes and looking up as she stood before him. "He loves you .Nothing you do is gonna change that. Nothing. You can say over and over that you don't want him in any trouble or risk himself by looking for you or coming for you, but we both know if it were reversed you'd risk everything to get to him. Right?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice and returned to the task. Moving to clean the wound on his head.

"Are you ok?" he suddenly asked her, watching her work. He lifted his healthy hand and grabbed hers with gentility, lowering it and casting his eyes to hers. "Your hands are shaking."

"I'm just scared." she answered, submerging the cloth and wringing it out again, then adding. "For you."

Lucas suddenly felt like an idiot.

"I'm sorry." he apologized, shaking his head. "I should've known better. Showing up like this after what you've been through. Here, you don't have to do anymore, I'll do it myself. If the blood is getting to you-"

"No, it's ok." she told him forcing a smile and nod. "I'm fine. Can you, Can you just give me a second? I'm gonna change the water."

She took the bowl to the bathroom without waiting for his response and locked the door behind her. Alone, she immediately put down the dish, sloshing stained water over the side when she did. She flexed her fingers and shook her hands out a few times, Entangling them together, holding tightly as she could she whispered desperately to herself.

"Stop it."

But still she felt them quivering in her own grip.

* * *

Nathan drove as fast as he could.

Stopping only for gas, he traveled along the many interconnecting highways without feeling an inkling of hunger or thirst. It was almost as if he were a machine; one with a single purpose...get to Haley.

He left straight from Tric with as much of a goodbye to Peyton as he thought was safe to spare. He promised to get in touch when he could and she gave him messages to give everyone.

He could see it hurt her: watching the last member of their tight knit group leave without her. Nathan had anticipated that, offering her a consolation he'd brought along. He gave her a folded sheet of paper, instructing her to open it after he was gone. The boy was sure by now she had most definitely done so since he'd been out of Tree Hill for almost ten hours, revealing to the girl a returned gift.

The drawing she'd given him when he felt most alone and left behind.

_Sometimes they come back._

He hoped they could. That they could find a way out of this and back to their lives at home. But if they couldn't, Nathan was content just to be with her. It didn't matter how or where.

_She_ was his home.

Hours ticked by on the road, the highway almost hypnotizing as he pushed through the night. Buying a coffee and energy drink at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, he forced away the wear the long trip had on his mind and body.

Night settled blacker and blacker and the car moved silently. The only sounds that accompanied him on his journey was his wife's voice in his head. He heard her laugh at him, heard her murmur soft words, heard her tears and panicked confusion.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel as their last conversation played in his head. Her voice, scared and small, coming on the phone. Asking him for help, telling him she woke up in a room but didn't know where. Everything in his body screamed and he immediately asked her where Lucas was. As soon as he mentioned his brother, he heard several noises in the background and the hollow thud of the phone hitting the floor. His heart stopped until Brooke's voice filled his ear.

Eventually, he'd had the chance to talk to his wife again. She apologized for scaring him, declaring she'd just been confused; she hadn't been sleeping well. He promised to see her soon and she'd asked him if he hated her.

Nathan shook his head, throwing the ridiculous notion out of his thoughts. He didn't hate her. He never could. He had one person who he hated. The man that he knew caused this whole mess; the man he called Dad.

The sun was returning to the sky when he found himself where he was supposed to be. He exited his car, leaving it in an apartment complex lot as he and Lucas had discussed. He stretched his tired, stiff body and saw his breath in the air of the earliest morning light and started walking. Nathan's exhausted body complained, he hadn't been sleeping well either and knew he wouldn't until he was lying next to her again. But he pushed on without hesitance.

A little less than an hour of walking brought him to a less than impressive motel and his heart sped up; alive with the knowledge that he was so near to her after what felt like so long. He walked a little quicker, searching until he found the dull blue door with the brass eight on the outside. Next, his eyes found on the ground along the wall, a wire hanger that was easily dismissed among the not-so-tidy scenery. If he hadn't known to look for it, he would have not given it a shred of attention either.

Looking around first, no one was about at the crack of dawn, Nathan flattened his body on the concrete. Laying on his stomach, he grabbed the hanger and peered under the door. Squinting for the sight of what he wanted, he slid the hanger underneath and maneuvered a it for a few seconds before slowly pulling it out, scooting his small treasure outside with it.

The key made a slight jingle as it touched the cement and Nathan grabbed it right away and rose to his feet. He looked around once more before quietly entering and locking the door back up.

His eyes surveyed the small, still room easily and immediately found the occupants.

His brother slept on his back on the floor at the foot of the bed. In the half light, Nathan noticed he wore some band aids and discolored bruises on his still face. Lying with him, using his chest as a pillow, was Brooke. An arm draped protectively over the torso that wasn't covered by the thin blanket. Then he moved his eyes where they truly yearned to be.

The mattress. The covers turned down on one side, telling Nathan that the girl sleeping on the floor hadn't started the night there. He looked at the person still in the bed. On her side facing the now empty spot, her hands by her chest, loosely holding one another as she slept.

Haley.

Nathan approached silently. Pulling out of his shoes and lifting his shirt over his head. He carefully lowered himself into the bed and slipped under the cover, turning to lay facing her. Even as she slept there was tension in her face. But despite that, Nathan was still awed by her beauty.

While he gazed at her, feeling as though she had stolen the breath from his body while simultaneously giving the ability to breathe he'd lost in her absence back to him, her brow furrowed, her head moved slightly as her lips parted. She muttered something he couldn't quite hear completely and moved her head again. Nathan knew it wasn't possibly a good dream she was having. He reached out, tenderly sliding fair out of her face and whispering her name.

Her eyes opened in surprise but quickly lowered to a half-closed position when she caught sight of him.

"Nathan." she spoke in a breath of a voice. Her half open orbs showing the toll the long days had taken on her. "I'm dreaming."

He grinned and shook his head, leaning on his elbow and looking down at her face.

"No you're not." he whispered so as not to disturb the other couple. "It's me. I'm here."

But Haley didn't believe him. She shook her head on the pillow.

"No." she told him. "You won't really come. I did a bad thing."

Nathan dismissed this leaning closer.

"I'll always come for you. No matter what happens." brushing more hair from her exhausted features, he tilted his head. "I love you."

At this she smiled and snuggled up next to his body. He laid flat and she let her eyes close completely, laying her head on his warm chest.

"I love you, too." she said as she nuzzled into him.

He wrapped his arms tight around her figure, never feeling there would ever be any feeling better than having her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and felt her sigh against his bare skin in response. Now he knew sleep would find him. But before he gave himself over to it, he heard her quiet voice again.

"Nathan?" so light, it was barely there in the stillness of the air around them.

"Yes?"

"I'll miss you when I wake up."

He kissed her head again, holding her tighter and closing his eyes.


	15. Let The Flames Begin

**A/N: Hey hey! Sorry for the long wait, but I do have a zillion things going on, work and school are getting crazier and crazier for the holiday madness. Luckily, I've got this little gift for you here. It's kinda short but it's taking us to a big, bigness fo sho!**

**

* * *

**

"_What a shame _

_We all became _

_Such fragile broken things_

_A memory remains just a tiny spark"_

'_Let The Flames Begin'_

-Paramore

* * *

For the first night in a while, Haley's mind allowed her to dream rather than reliving that awful day.

It was a strange dream, however. Not a traditional sequence of images and events. It was different…good. Haley's dream was…feeling. Odd to explain, but magnificent to experience. Without images in her mind's eyes to accompany it, Haley dreamt of warmth. Of a sense of safety and comfort.

The best dream she could remember ever having. So potent were the feelings that her mind carried them with her through the waking process. As she began to become more aware and present in her reality, she felt something that surprised her. She'd slid her hand down to the warmth of her stomach and woke with a jolt through her system when she found a set of arms already wrapped around her.

Her heart sped up with an initial feared reaction and she grabbed at the hands. But they only seemed to hold her tighter and she felt an exhale of breath dance across the back of her neck.

Haley panicked, knowing this was certainly not how she'd fallen asleep. She began to squirm within the hold. Her frantic movements roused Nathan who assumed she must've been having a nightmare. He brought her closer to him and spoke in her ear softly to soothe her.

"It's ok." He spoke, feeling her movements slow as he did. "I'm right here. I've got you."

He loosened his arms as she turned over to face him. Her eyes held a storming mixture of emotion. But at the moment, disbelief dominated the surface of them. She'd been half asleep when she found him in her bed in the earliest moments of the morning, it didn't surprise him that she didn't remember it or their conversation.

Her hand reached up to his face, grazing his eyebrow, then cheek as light as a breeze.

"Nathan?" she asked in a whisper; not for fear of waking the others, but of frightening away the beautiful image in front of her.

If it was her mind playing tricks on her, she'd happily play along as long as possible. But she'd touched him. He was real, wasn't he? His deep eyes held on to hers and she again touched him. This time both hands on either side of his face. She had to know if he was real.

When she felt him, _really_ felt his skin and form, her eyes automatically filled.

"Nathan?" she said his name again, this time slightly louder. "You…You're here? You're really here?"

"I'm here." He covered her hand, still on his cheek, with his. "I'm really here."

A tear slid down her cheek and she pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his as tight as she could manage. Nathan returned the horizontal hug, though it was an awkward position neither noticed or cared. He was just elated to have her in his arms again and she felt the same.

"God I missed you." He told her as they held each other, feeling her tears hit his bare shoulder. He kissed her hair. "So much."

"I missed you too." She told him and he heard the tears in her voice. She squeezed him tighter. "Oh my God, Nathan."

"Shh." He comforted, running a palm up and down her back.

He relaxed his arms when he felt her begin to pull back from their embrace. She broke only enough to get to his face and press her lips against his. He could taste the salty drops on her lips, but it was sweeter than nectar to him. Nathan kissed her back, feeling the same desperation to feel her.

When he moved to pull away, he was caught by surprise when she pressed on further; deepening the kiss by now slipping her tongue into it. Nathan hadn't been expecting it at all, but didn't exactly feel the need to refuse. He matched her, following her lead and kissing her back. After a moment, Haley again surprised him.

She moaned into his mouth, the sheets shuffling as she moved beneath them to straddle him. Now Nathan's eyes opened when he realized how far she was really aiming to take it. Though he felt his desire clouding his mind as she filled every sense he had, there was a voice in his head telling him to stop.

"Haley…" he began, suppressing the moan as she moved to kiss his bare chest.

"Yes?" she asked between those torturous amazing kisses.

"We…"he had to swallow, feeling his body's reaction to her working to overpower his logic. "We have to stop."

At his words, she halted her actions and braced herself on her arms to hold herself above him. She looked into his eyes, hers a mesmerizing dark hue now, painted with lust.

"Do we?" she asked, moving her slender fingers to toy with the edge of his waistband.

Her chill fingertips on his heated skin made him fear his voice would betray him, so Nathan only nodded. She bit her bottom lip and slid her hand beneath and into his pants. His breath hitched when he felt her hand wrap around his painfully hard need for her. She grinned at his reaction.

"Doesn't look like you want to stop."

That was of course true. Nathan didn't _want_ to stop. Not his body, not his heart, but his mind was screaming at him that this wasn't right.

"Lucas and Brooke-" he managed to say, which she interrupted.

"Are asleep." She finished. "We'll be quiet as mice."

She leaned down to kiss him when he finally collected enough resolve to act. Nathan braced his palms against her shoulders and pushed her back up to sit again.

"Haley." He began. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing yet." She answered with a grin and leaning again. "You keep stopping me."

Again Nathan caught her shoulders and stopped her. She was acting strange. Not to say that her prowess hadn't evolved since they'd married, but there were still things he knew were still, and would forever be, taboos in that department. And without doubt, having sex with anyone else in the room – especially Lucas – was a great big one. He creased his brow and asked concerned.

"What's wrong?" he wanted to talk about what happened with his dad.

He wanted to learn exactly what went down in her words and to know if it was making her act this way. Haley scoffed and threw her hands in the air.

"Nothing's wrong, Nathan." She stated clearly upset. "Except my husband can't stand the thought of me touching him."

Nathan was caught off guard by her snap. It wasn't that. It wasn't that at all.

"That's not what it's about Haley." He told her. She sat back on her heels and nodded cynically.

"Oh I'm sure." She spat, shaking her head then suddenly asking. "Who is she?"

"Who?" he asked, thrown by the strange question.

"Who do you think?" she asked, smacking his chest as she spoke. "The whore you've been fucking while I"ve been gone."

"Whoa!" Nathan voiced having no idea where that had come from. Yes he'd heard Haley curse before, mostly it was during the very even that he'd just prevented from happening. But he'd never heard it with such anger. "What are you talking about? I haven't slept with anyone…why would you even think that?"

Haley lifted herself from him and got off the bed altogether.

"This is because of Chris, right?" she accused, only confusing him more. "Some sort of payback. I didn't do anything with Chris!"

"Keller?" he questioned, he hadn't even thought about the guy in so long. He stood up too, now standing on opposite sides of the bed. "Haley, I don't know who's been saying what, but-"

"It's Rachel, isn't it?" she said, the increasing volumes of her words earning a moan from one of the sleeping bodies. "That stupid slut practically drools whenever you're around. Think I don't see it?"

"Ok, Haley, calm down." He asked of her. "Please just talk to me ok? Why are you saying this stuff? What' s making you think it? You know I love you. You know that. I'd never do anything like that."

"Pretty words Nathan." She stated, shoving a lamp off the dresser so it crashed to the floor. The sound waking the sleeping couple with a jolt. "What good are god damn words?"

"Haley!" he tried to speak to her as she stomped to the bathroom and slammed the door. "Haley!"

"What's going on?" Lucas asked, while Brooke wiped a hand over her face and looked over her shoulder in the direction of the bathroom.

Nathan didn't spare enough to even look in his brother's direction. He stepped by them to the bathroom. He closed his hand around the doorknob and found it looked. A sigh of frustration escaped him and knocked on the door, infuriated by how thoroughly confused he was, he tried to keep his voice calm.

"Haley." He called into the wood, then knocked again. "Haley, let me in, come on."

Brooke glanced at Lucas and her still sleep-heavy eyes met his. She closed them and gave his shoulder a squeeze before exhaling and lifting herself from the floor. Her muscles ached as she walked across the floor rubbing her eyes.

"Hi Nate." She greeted tiredly as she approached.

The young man saw her and she could read the tension and wear the time apart had laid on him. She gave him a hug, overjoyed to see him though her serene exterior seemed extremely calm. Nathan returned the hug, the smaller girl still warm from slumber. He didn't say anything, just enjoyed being in the same room as his best friends again.

"It's so good to see you." Brooke muttered as she squeezed him.

"You too." He answered. Brooke gave his back a pat and separated to face the door. She knocked softly.

"Go away!" the harsh order came from within. Brooke sighed and felt as though she hadn't gotten any rest. She leaned her forehead against the door and spoke.

"It's me." She told the door, then asked. "Can I come in?"

There were a few seconds of silence, in which Nathan stared at the door. He wasn't sure what he'd expected but it wasn't this.

He hoped that they'd reunite, and he'd hold her while she poured out to him what happened. They'd talk and cry and hold each other, ultimately find a way to make it right.

Hopes…but no expectations.

But this, after catching a glimpse of it on the phone, he refused to let himself come up with scenarios. Especially one such as this. She was acting so…so unlike Haley. Throwing accusations at him, disregarding the others in the room…

He was too confused to feel anything else yet. Knowing later, when he got around to it, he'd feel the grip on his heart.

The silence was interrupted by the small click of the door unlocking. Brooke cast a glance his way and gave him a small, almost apologetic smile, and went inside. Nathan then looked over to Lucas who was standing, looking at him sympathetically. The younger Scott blew out a breath and ran a hand over his face.

"What happened to you?" he asked of his bruises.

"It's nothing." He dismissed. "You should see the other guy."

"Get a piece of him?"

"Hell no." Lucas shook his head. "I mean you should see him, he was huge. I'm lucky this is all I have."

Despite himself and the situation, maybe _because_ of it, Nathan let out a laugh.

* * *

"What the hell do I pay you for?" he asked angrily as he approached him.

The detective looked up from the paper before him to see the angry Dan Scott at his desk.

"Mr. Mayor," he greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"You can answer my question." He ordered.

Bettis tossed his pen on the desktop.

"What do you pay me for?" he clarified. "Well sir, I protect and serve the good people of this community."

Dan lowered his voice and sharpened his eyes.

"That's why I sign the checks _they_ give you." He told him. "But I'm asking why _I_ pay you."

He put his good hand on the desk, his other arm held up in the sling.

"When I shell out my personal cash, I expect results. I expect to get what I pay for."

The younger man looked around, ensuring none of his colleagues would overhear their conversation.

"You will." He promised.

"Yeah, you said that." He stated. "Yet I find out about this little raid in Virginia after the fact. I thought I made it clear that any solid leads come to me first. I want my hands on that little bitch before any of your boys in blue."

"Look that –" he stood up quickly to defend himself but halted abruptly, again looking around. He lowered his voice and spoke closely to him. "I'm not the only one working this you know? I don't see every single lead that comes in."

"True." Dan responded, unwavering in what he expected. "Buy you're the one I'm counting on. So you better step it up before you find yourself working holiday security at the mall."

The mayor winked at him and walked away, leaving the detective fuming at his desk. He rubbed his jaw, tensions in his muscles, he slammed a fist onto his desk, rattling everything on it.

"Whoa, what's that about?" he heard, turning to see his partner now before him.

"Nothing." He answered, taking a breath. "Not important. What's up?"

The other man held up a sheet of paper.

"We got something."

"Anything substantial?" he asked, glancing around for a sight of the mayor.

"Oh yeah." He answered with a laugh. "I think we got them. I'm going to tell the captain and get us moving on it."

"Hold on." Bettis spoke up, catching the man off guard. "Maybe we should hold off on that. I mean, really go over this first."

"You don't even know what it is." He argued. "There's no need to verify, this is solid."

"Like the phone call?" he reminded him.

"Yes like the phone call." He defended. "They _were_ there, weren't they? The guys up there had to be only seconds behind them."

"I'm just saying, I don't want to move too quickly and tip them off." Bettis tried to rationalize. "I don't want them getting away again."

"Fine. You take the lead with this." He all but growled, shoving the page against his chest. "Whatever you say, but now it's not on my head if they're gone."

Bettis watched the other detective leave and looked down at the paper. His eyes focused on the highlighted portion and he inhaled feeling a smug grin on his face. Sutton was right, this was what they were waiting for.

He flicked the paper and spoke to himself feeling accomplished.

"Well Mr. Mayor…_This_ is why you pay me."

x

x

x


	16. When I Go Down

**A/N: Fair warning, this one's pretty long. Trivial fact…I'm like 3 episodes behind on OTH and it's killing me. Jerkfaced work and school taking all my time. That's all I have to say! Hope you guys are still enjoying it. **

**BIG MEGA HUG for iheartnaley23. I wish I had a cookie to give to you **

* * *

"_When I go down_

_It hurts to hit the bottom_

_And of the things that got me here_

_I think, If only I had fought them."_

'_When I Go Down'_

Relient K

* * *

"No, Brooke, I don't want to calm down." Haley argued, her palms pressed against the surface of the sink's countertop in the small bathroom.

"Ok." Brooke backed off a bit, holding her hands up in a show of surrender. "Just tell me what happened. I thought you'd be happy to see Nathan. Sweetie, he came all this way-"

"To accuse me, Brooke." Haley stood up to face her. "He can't do that. He can't just show up and act like everything's great and he's happy to see me, then just ambush me like this."

"Like what?" Brooke asked, clearly having missed a lot of conversation while asleep. "What did he say?"

Haley groaned and spat the word.

"Chris."

"Chris?" that surprised the brunette. She was under the impression Chris Keller was no longer a factor in their relationship. Hadn't been for some time now. "What about him?"

"It's my fault." Haley replied, beginning to ramble. "It's my own fault. I shouldn't have gone to that stupid bus station that night. I shouldn't have let him kiss me. I _shouldn't_ have tried to hide it from Nathan."

Brooke stepped closer, easily done in the little space the bathroom provided them.

"Alright, but that's in the past, right?" she offered. "There are bigger things going on right now. I don't think Chris should be a priority right now."

Haley let out another frustrated groan, contrasting the calm words of her friend.

"But that's all it was. A stupid kiss that never should have happened." She sat on the toilet lid, putting her head in her hands, continuing as if she hadn't heard Brooke. "How did he even find out?"

"Find out?" Brooke repeated, moving in front of the seated girl. "You mean about the kiss?"

"Peyton." Haley suddenly said, looking up as it came to her. "She knew. She's the only one who knew."

"Haley-" Brooke began, feeling nervous.

"God, how could she do this to me?" Haley asked. "After everything."

Brooke then sat down on the edge of the tub, still facing her friend.

"Haley, Peyton didn't tell Nathan about the kiss." Getting the girl's attention on her. When she had her eyes in her own, she finished. "You did, remember?"

"What?" Haley asked. "No I didn't. I _should_ have, but I – "

"Haley, you did." Brooke interrupted and the girl stared at her like she was insane. She seemed to think a moment then shook her head. "I think I'd remember something like that, Brooke."

Brooke bit her lip and put her hand on Haley's thigh. Cautiously asking a question she felt the need to.

"Haley, where are we?"

"What?" she asked. "Brooke, this is serious. I don't have time to play games. This is my marriage."

Brooke kept her face straight, knowing exactly how serious everything was.

"Just answer the question, please."

"Jesus, the bathroom, Brooke. We're in the bathroom."

Brooke nodded and again nervously put her bottom lip between her teeth a thoughtful moment.

""Where?" she asked uneasily getting a repeated answer from the other girl.

"What?"

"What bathroom is it?" she elaborated. "What building are we in?"

Haley let out a breath that was half a laugh. Lifting a hand and gesturing at nothing specific other than the room they were in.

"Whatever, Brooke, we're in my –" she halted as she saw their immediate surroundings. Her eyes roamed the room and the half smile fell from her face. She stammered, fumbling for the answer as she looked around the room. "We're, um…We…"

She turned her head sharply, realizing with fright that she didn't recognize the place. They were definitely not in her apartment with Nathan. She then turned back to Brooke, the shock and fear in her eyes gave Brooke the answer she was worried about.

She didn't know.

Haley shot up to her feet and went to the door. She opened it and heard the guys talking.

"…you don't know?" Nathan asked.

"I don't really have a plan here, Nate." Lucas defended.

"But-" Nathan cut himself off when he heard her exit her hiding space.

He turned and saw Haley standing there, the water in her eyes threatening to spill over. Automatically, his conversation with his brother was forgotten. He took one step in her direction in the time she'd already closed the distance and put herself in his chest. Her arms wrapped around him and he did the same, her tears already on his shirt.

"Haley." He said her name softly but his concern was never more tangible. "Baby, what is it?"

Lucas looked past them to Brooke who now stood just outside the doorway, looking almost as upset as Haley obviously was.

"I don't know." She answered with a sob into his clothes. Her arms squeezed him tighter as she spoke through the powerful tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

* * *

Dan almost laughed.

After all the time they'd managed to be elusive and smart, it didn't seem right that it came down to this. It was too easy.

It almost took the fun out of it. Almost.

"I knew you were a good investment." He commented to the younger man across from him.

"I told you I'd deliver, didn't I?" he replied. "If you're going to do anything with this, I suggest moving fast. I can't keep it quiet long. My partner already knows and he wants to act."

"Twenty-four hours." Dan told him. "All I need…less then that even. Then your partner can take all the action he wants, as far as he and anyone else will know, it was just another dead end lead."

The detective finished his drink in one quick swing and stood from the table. His stomach feeling suddenly uneasy about the situation; he was signing a kid's death notice for all he knew. He could only hope the cash in his pocket would assuage that before it became too much of a problem for him to live with.

He looked around the bar, mostly empty at this time of day, and before he turned to leave, he couldn't keep himself from asking a question that had been lingering around his mind.

"What about the others?" he asked suddenly to the man still seated.

"Excuse me?"

"The Davis girl…your sons." He elaborated. "Lucas has been off as long as she has, and don't think we haven't noticed Nathan's sudden disappearance. They a part of your dead end too?"

"Don't worry about it." Dan answered vaguely with a dismissive nod.

Bettis kept his eyes on him a few moments longer, debating whether or not to ask more questions. He didn't know why he'd come all this way to begin to falter at the finish line. Dan seemed to sense his unease and asked his own question.

"Second thoughts?"

"Curiosity." He tried to excuse his doubts.

Dan stood up and placed himself in front of him.

"Now allow _me_ to make a suggestion." He began. "Get rid of it. Curiosity doesn't have a place in these business arrangements. You do your part, get paid, walk away. That's it."

"Done a lot of these arrangements, have you?"

"There you go with that curiosity again." Dan commented with a smirk. "Be careful detective, I'd hate internal affairs to find out about your despicable little scheme to make quick cash by trying to sell me information about the case."

Bettis almost laughed.

"That's your story?" he asked. "It's ridiculous. I've talked to just about everyone who knows you in this town, Mr. Mayor. You don't exactly have a pristine reputation around here. They're gonna believe that _I_ came to _you_?"

"I may not have the best image here, but you know what else I don't have?" Dan asked and answered quickly. "Debt. See, that's you isn't it? Owing all that money, it's understandable you'd be desperate for a quick fix. But disgracing your badge…tsk, tsk."

Dan watched the other man clench his jaw and knew he had him in his place. He nodded at him again.

"You've done your part, you've been paid…all that's left is to walk away."

The man rigidly remained, keeping his angry eyes attached on Dan's. His hands itching to turn into fists and drive into his face.

"Just walk away." Dan told him again.

"You know, I'm seeing why someone would be willing to lose everything for the chance to shut you up for good." Bettis spat. "Too bad that bullet wasn't a few inches lower."

Dan only smirked and watched the man turn away and leave.

"Keep up the good work, Detective!" he called cheerily before the man disappeared.

He then looked once more at the information he'd been given and felt the excited flutter of anticipation.

He'd move so fast, she wouldn't know what hit her.

* * *

"Is this a good idea?" Brooke asked, cupping her hands around her glass and staring into the water glass. She then lifted her head and looked at Lucas across the table of the booth. "Being out like this?"

Lucas cast a quick glance around the small diner with subtlety. There was one other person at a table nursing a cup of coffee on the other side of the room.

"I think we'll be ok." He tried to assure her.

He could see she was nervous, more so than usual. He attributed it partly – largely – to her concern for her friend. He understood. God, he understood. He was deathly worried about his best friend. More and more, despite what he'd say to Brooke to calm her fears, Lucas was feeling that Haley was slipping further and further from them and herself.

Her actions and behavior had such drastic fluctuations that he honestly didn't know who would be waking up with them from one day to the next.

"It'll be good for them to have some time alone." Lucas went on to say. Then he reached across the table, putting his hand over hers. "Us too."

His girlfriend offered him an unsure smile and took his hand as well.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No, not just for this. I mean…for looking out for Haley, letting me come, calling Nathan…for loving us the way you do."

Now Lucas gave her a smile, an easy one free of the uncertainty hers had held.

"You make it easy."

"What can I get you guys?"

Brooke jumped in place as the waitress appeared at the table. Lucas looked curiously to Brooke before ordering for both of them. Thank God that Nathan had brought along all the cash he could. When the waitress left to put their orders in, Lucas focused on Brooke again.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly. "You're…jumpier than usual."

She looked around then asked in the same quiet tone.

"Am I?"

Lucas took a shot at what it was that was bothering her.

"Is it because of what happened in the bathroom with Haley?" he asked, not knowing exactly what had transpired yet, but knowing it was something enough to upset both girls.

"Kind of." She answered, then sighed and shook her head. "No."

"Ok." He nodded. "Then what?"

"I think we should get Haley to her parents. Maybe one of her sisters even. Lord knows Taylor's gotta have enough contacts that can help –"

"Brooke. Brooke." he repeated her name to halt her ramble. "We can't. We talked about this. They'll look at her family first; keep an eye on them. Plus Haley will never let them be a part of this. What's going on?"

"I just…I think we need to leave." She went on, still not answering him. "We shouldn't stay here anymore. We need a new city, a new state."

"What brought this on?" he asked suspiciously. He noticed then that Brooke wasn't meeting his gaze. She wasn't looking at him at all. He spoke a little firmer. "Brooke. What?"

The girl looked at their touching hands, then looked around the empty space yet again. Her voice became a whisper and her eyes shone with coming tears.

"I think I made a mistake."

* * *

The room was quiet except for the spinning ceiling fan above and the sounds of passing cars outside.

Nathan lay on the bed, stroking his fingers through Haley's hair as she lay draped over his chest. She finished crying a few minutes ago, now they were just lying in the silence. For a moment he wondered if she'd fallen asleep, but her breathing pattern told him otherwise. His mind was whirring through everything that had happened in the last couple weeks as it thought of all the hundreds of questions he had. Before he could settle on asking any, she broke the silence first.

"Do you think I'm going crazy?"

She asked it quietly, though Nathan could hear the evidence that she was genuinely worried.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, hoping it could open the door to her answering more questions.

"Sometimes." She answered honestly after a moment. "When I freak out on Brooke, or hit Lucas…when I forget things."

She buried her head further against him as she spoke, confessing bringing the threat of yet more tears. He ran his hand up and down her back, his fingertips trailing the path of her spine.

"You hit Lucas?" he asked trying to get a little smile from her. "That's why his face looks like that."

She let out a short laugh before going back to simply laying atop him. He sighed, his moving chest lifting her torso as it expanded and emptied.

"Know what I think?" he asked, going back to running through her hair.

"What?"

"You're not crazy." He told her. "Your amazing heart is feeling guilty about what's going on. You're trying to carry everything that happened and is happening on your own because you think it'll make you a burden if you try to share it."

Her arm tightened around him as he spoke his thoughts.

'I think this is just a way your body and mind are trying to tell you that you can't." he continued to muse aloud while watching the chain on the fan bounce again the lamp as the spinning blades rocked it. "It doesn't make you a burden to need help carrying this. You're human, and this is a huge weight. I don't want to see it crush you before we get a chance to help. We love you, Haley. All of us."

Haley sighed shakily against his shirt.

"I'm already costing everyone so much." She admitted. "I don't want to cause anymore pain. What I did…What I'm _doing_, it's hurting everyone I care about. I think sometimes I should just…"

She trailed off, knowing he wouldn't like what she was going to say. She hadn't been thinking when she started speaking. But Nathan encouraged her to continue with her thought.

"I think about leaving." She admitted. "Just walking out while they sleep."

"What?" he asked surprised.

She tensed, knowing she'd been right and he was upset that she considered it. But since it was already out there, she kept going.

"I almost did." She told him. "A few nights ago."

"Haley-"

"They didn't know I was awake, I could hear them whispering." She recalled the voices in the dark motel room.

"What were they saying?"

"How much Lucas missed his mom and Keith. Peyton. You. School." She remembered their hushed words floating to her and strangling her heart with the heaviest guilt. "They miss their lives. I waited until they fell asleep and I got up and left. I was gonna find a police station but I- I came back. For the picture."

Nathan glanced aside to the framed picture propped up on the nightstand. Their wedding. The best day of his life.

"I wanted a piece of how it used to be." She explained. "When everything was good and happy and had a future."

"And you changed your mind?" he asked.

"I took a shower." She answered. "It felt like it would help me calm down."

Nathan almost laughed at the seemingly random thought [process. But he wouldn't judge it. If she hadn't had the sudden obscure desire, he'd most likely be talking to her over a phone with a thick glass pane between them.

"Haley…" he began and he felt her squeeze him more. She spoke before he could continue.

"We have to talk about what happened don't we?"

"Yeah." He answered softly. "We do."

"I know." She sighed. Nathan took a deep breath and asked her.

"Did you shoot Dan?"

She took her own breath and braced herself for his response, answering.

"Yes."

His chest rose and fell silently with another deep breath. He closed his eyes and processed what he now knew was a fact before he went searching for more.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked, feeling her press her body into him more, knowing it was because she was afraid. "Everything."

"Will you stay?" she asked in a shaking voice. He could tell she was close to tears again. "After you know. When you hear it all and it's…not what you want to…Will you stay?"

He wrapped his arms around her small body and put his lips on her head for a quick kiss.

"I'm not going anywhere." He told her and her lip quivered.

"You promise?" she asked terrified. "No matter what?"

"I promise." He swore to her, and repeated himself with more vigor. "I'm not going _anywhere_."

"Ok."

x

x


	17. Crossfire

**A/N: Alrighty…so a month or so later of silence and I come back with a vengeance! Apologies all around between yet another grand computer disruption, finals, holiday hours and family I've been occupado for quite some time. But no worries for it's all over now as I greet you from my awesome new lappity toppity. I think I may name him dennis. Here we go! I believe this is something people have been waiting for for quite some time! **

**Hope you Enjoy…**

* * *

"_And we're caught in _

_The crossfire of heaven and hell_

_And we're searchin for_

_Shelter."_

'_Crossfire'_

Brandon Flowers

* * *

_Scott House_

_10 Days ago_

* * *

"Why do you have a gun?" she asked fearfully.

"To shoot you, of course." he laughed as if it was something hilarious. "This is for protection. You know, I was almost killed a few months ago."

"You're going to stop a fire with a bullet?" she asked, not understanding his logic and taking a step backward closer to the door. She really was uncomfortable.

"You can never be too careful." he told her standing up from his chair. He inspected it as he took a step closer to her. "You know the secret to shooting? Don't pull the trigger...squeeze it." he raised it and the already terrified girl was now staring at the barrel that was pointed in her direction.

She cringed back, aware that there was a slight shake in her limbs as she held her hands up to her face, hiding the barrel pointed at her from her eyes. She stuttered out.

"Mr. Scott." From behind her frightened hands. He let out a laugh and lowered the gun.

"You think I'd actually shoot you?" he asked still amused and walked up to her. "Haley…" he made a tsk, tsk as if she were misbehaving child. "Do you really think so poorly of me?"

Haley's eyes only went to the gun he still held at his side. He was large, much bigger than her. Having him so close was intimidating enough, but the gun made it a million times worse.

"Can you please put the gun down?" she asked, shrinking back against the wall behind her.

He seemed genuinely amused by how nervous his having the weapon was making her.

"It's only for protection." He told her. He raised it again and inspected it thoughtfully. "Think of it as a smoke alarm."

"I've never heard of a smoke alarm accidentally killing someone." She stated, still uncomfortable around the metal object in his hand.

"I only hurt people I have a reason to." He told her and stepped closer threateningly. "I don't have a reason to hurt you. Do I?"

Her heart thundered and her head ached, he was sending all sorts of panic through her.

'"I just, I just came for my phone." She forced her voice to state, unable to give it the strength she wished for. Sure, she'd stood up to Dan before, but she'd never been in a situation like this any of those times. "I'll come later…when Nathan's home."

"Nonsense." He told her. "Who knows when that will be?"

She felt the intimidation of his much larger presence bearing down on her. The wall remained steadfast behind her despite her urge for it to move and allow her escape. And as the wall, the man also remained unmoving.

Haley wanted to angrily shove him away, curse him for treating her this way…for treating everyone so poorly.

Why not?

She'd certainly given him her opinion on other occasions. Spiting angry words at him and his behavior before. So why not now? She thought, perhaps, it was being literally backed against the wall by the large man. It was also likely to have something to do with the piece of metal he held in his hand. Maybe it was the eerie nonchalance of his demeanor as he did these things.

Regardless of the reason, Haley could find no reaction within her other than fear. A fear that squashed any bravery she liked to think she had. Her lips parted, quivering enough to surely be noticed by him as he leaned closer.

"Mr. Scott…" she stuttered out, not able to keep the shake from dancing in her voice.

He responded by placing his empty hand on the wall above her head and leaning over her, his sigh as he did so releasing his breath over her face.

"I remember when I first learned about Nathan taking you out." He began apparently feeling nostalgic. "Do you know what I thought? I was sure it was a pity thing."

Though the admission didn't necessarily surprise her, Haley still felt an anger spark in her chest upon hearing it. Dan leaned his body an inch or so closer to hers and asked.

"Would you like to know what I think now?" he asked, to which she gave a nervous shake of her head. He ignored her preference.

"I think…" Haley's breath shuddered as her father-in-law ran the back of his knuckles up her cheek. He grazed the chin softly but it felt to her like a slice from a razor blade. "You've come to be an attractive young woman."

She wanted to pull away from his touch, but she was frozen. She wanted Nathan to bust through the door, but she was alone.

"Do you know what it is?" he asked, his gun less hand lingering on her skin. "It's confidence. Nothing does it better than confidence and you've certainly blossomed with it since your dip in the music world."

"M-Mr. Scott…" she tried again, frightened tears threatening her eyes. "Please-"

There was a small thud near her head and she knew it was the gun. Leaning his armed hand on the wall beside her, cutting her off by reminding her he still had the weapon…he had the power.

"What do you say to a private concert?" he asked. "A little song from a little song bird."

Haley somehow found herself suddenly slapping his hand away from her face. Unsure how she'd gone from frozen with terror to striking him away. Dan took a step back and chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"Easy there, Joan Jett." He stated sounding amused. "It's all in good fun."

Shaking her head as her heart thundered in her chest, she found her voice.

"I'm not having fun, Mr. Scott."

"Haley, we're family." He said casually. "Call me Dan."

Haley wiped a hand over her face, not sure if it was sweat or tears that she felt there. Inhaling deeply, she shook her head fiercely and forced her voice to sound strong even though she felt anything but.

"I'm going to go." She informed, but noticed he was still too close for her to do so. "Move so I can leave."

He remained, keeping his unsettling gaze on her.

"Please." She added.

"What about your phone?" he asked as if challenging her.

He pulled his own phone out with his empty hand and spoke to her while scrolling through it.

"Let's see." He began. "Here we go. It's in the J's, for Jezebel."

He clicked his phone and a few moments later the familiar ring of her own phone filled the air. Haley looked past him and saw the lit up source of the sound on the countertop. She made a move to go toward it but Dan held up his hand. She halted immediately before it could come in contact with her and he noticed, giving her a grin.

"Allow me."

He set the gun down and went across the room. When he turned back around he held up the phone for her to see then extended his hand, holding it out to her. Haley didn't move. She couldn't make herself take a step closer to him.

"Well?" he asked. "Isn't this what you came for? Not gonna leave empty handed are you? Come get it."

Haley hugged herself, a voice screaming in her head, telling her not to move. Everything about her multiple interactions with him that day said she had to keep her distance. So she held her own hand out. Trying not to notice the way it quivered in the open air.

"Toss it." She suggested and he let out a laugh.

"Pretty reckless." He mused looking at the phone. "Might not catch it. Wouldn't want it to break."

"It's fine." She tried to give her voice strength. "I've-I've dropped it plenty of times. It'll be fine."

He only laughed again and took a step in her direction but Haley spoke up abruptly, taking an equalizing step backward not having very far to go before she was at the wall once again.

"Please don't come any closer."

"Come on, Haley. What are you afraid of?" he asked mockingly.

The way he looked at her when he found her in Nathan's bed that morning flashed through her mind along with the cold words he'd said. The way he cornered her, leering and leaning over her. Touching her as he had, a gentility accompanied by malicious intent.

_That's_ what she was afraid of.

"Please stay back." She repeated herself.

He laughed yet again at her and took another step, speaking as he moved.

"Hale-"

His word abruptly ended by the loudest sound she'd ever heard. As soon as he moved her way, she'd suddenly found herself grabbing and firing the discarded gun. Barely aware of her actions until the gun went off, she returned to herself when she saw him fall. Haley stared in shock at his form, her heart thundered with resounding pain in her chest. Realizing what happened, what she'd done, her shaking hands couldn't support the weight of the weapon.

It clattered to the floor and she ran across the room to the bleeding man.

* * *

_Motel Room_

_Present_

* * *

The story told, Haley's voice finally stopped working. She remained where she was, where she'd been the entire time. Laying against Nathan's chest, her arms wrapped tighter around him then they were before she started recounting her memory of the day that would condemn her to hell.

There was a damp splotch on his shirt beneath where her head lay, the fabric darkened under by her tears. Nathan, to his credit, had stayed quiet the entire time. He didn't say a word, waiting patiently for her to get through it at her own pace and offering his comforting hands stroking her arms or back or hair up and down.

But now that she was done speaking, Haley wanted to hear something from him. She needed to hear him say that it was ok, that he could forgive her. But the reality was she didn't deserve that. She deserved to be damned, to be the target of immeasurable rage and contempt.

They had all been wrong. She hadn't been a victim of an attack; she hadn't shot him in defense of her own safety. She'd panicked and in that blind panic had destroyed everything that mattered in her life with the shot of a gun.

Haley bit her lip to keep from sobbing as she realized Nathan still hadn't said a word.

He hated her. He was so angry he couldn't even form the words. The spinning ceiling fan circulated the silent air through the room but still she felt like she was suffocating.

This was it.

It was over.

The chest below her rose and fell with a heavy sigh and she felt his hands go to hers and guide them to release their hold on his body. When she did so, he slipped out from under her and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her. In that moment, staring at his broad back that was hiding him from her, she felt the last of her fragile world begin to shatter into scattered broken remnants.

He put his head in his hands, squeezing his skull as the fury tore through his veins like a raging fire through a forest. Haley began to reach a nervous hand out to him, not sure what she was planning to do. She just wanted to touch his shoulder, remind him she was there, and beg him to look at her. Before he could make contact, he shot to his feet and took stomping steps away from the mattress.

She watched his tense figure and wondered what he would do. Her question was too quickly answered when Nathan let his anger drive through his muscles and crash his fist into the wall. The violent action made her jump and for the first time in her life, she wondered if Nathan would hurt her.

Her husband remained still, staring at the pastel colored wall paper his arm was sticking out of, shoulders heaving as he breathed in heavy angry pants. He turned his eyes to her in a quick darted gaze and removed his fist from the wall.

She felt her body tense as he took speedy heavy steps towards her. Crossing the room in easy long strides, he was immediately on her side of the bed. His large hands grasped her by her upper arms and easily pulled her up, pressing her into him with a bone crushing hug. Haley was too confused by the action to react other than to let him hold her as he did.

He pulled back and ran his hand repeatedly over the side of her face as if brushing hair away that wasn't there.

"Are you ok?" he asked her, suddenly in a voice that made her nervous. She'd never heard him sound so …less. "You're ok?"

Not knowing what else to do, she only nodded shakily and he pulled her close again, leaning down to bury his face in her hair.

"Never again." She thought she heard him say into her. "He'll never come near you again."

x

x

x


	18. A Hole In The World

**A/N: Woot! Loved the response for the last one! It was more than I could have hoped for. You guys are seriously awesome. No joke. Here we go with the continuation of our beloved characters journey, this one's kind short but we got some really _real _stuff about to go down that makes up for it. Hold on to your hats!**

* * *

"_When the world is crashing down_

_Part with it, start over_

_When the world is crashing down_

_These notes will fold themselves"_

'_A Hole In The World '_

-Thursday

* * *

"You messed up?" Lucas repeated the vague confession. He watched her nod her head, pressing her lips together in a tight line, fighting the moisture in her eyes. "What does that mean?"

Brooke took a breath and glanced around the fairly empty diner.

"You remember the night you came back hurt?" she asked shakily.

"Of course, I do." He half chuckled. "It was _last_ night, Brooke."

"You know I went to the drugstore and I got the stuff we needed." She continued, and Lucas was getting a nagging thought that she was delaying the important part. His red flag went up and he leaned over the table to speak quietly to her.

"Brooke, what happened?" his voice held a semi-firm tone.

"I,I went to pay and I didn't have enough cash…"

Lucas put his hands on either side of his head and slowly shook it side to side.

"You didn't." he speculated then looked back up to her. "Brooke, tell me you didn't steal it. We can't-"

"I didn't steal it, Lucas." She told him and her boyfriend sighed. Before he could say or ask anything else, she spoke up. "I didn't have enough _cash_…but I had my card."

She'd had her eyes down on the table as she admitted this softly, now glancing up once the words were out. The moment she stopped talking Lucas started.

"What?" he asked, his voice coming out a bit too loud causing the few other customers to look their way. He lowered his voice, but it didn't change the temperament. "Why would you do that?"

"You were hurt and –" she began.

"We said no credit cards." He cut her off curtly. "Cash only, Brooke! Damn it, what were you thinking even bringing it with you? They can trace that kind of stuff; they can find us."

"It was for an emergency." She told him why she'd secretly disobeyed the rule they'd set. "If we ran out of cash before we had a plan."

"Shit." He whispered to himself, running his hand through his hair. "Shit. Shit."

"Lucas," she reached for his hand. He abruptly pulled away when she touched him.

Brooke tried to not take it too personally, he was just upset.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, running a hand down his face a moment. "Not now, I have to think. We…we gotta go. Come on."

He stood up and Brooke followed suit, trailing his heels away from their table. As they pushed through the diner door she could hear their waitress asking where they were going. Apparently their orders were ready.

Once out on the sidewalk, Lucas grabbed her wrist to guide her along. Brooke involuntarily winced at his firm hold. She knew he was panicking; he'd never touch her with anything but gentility otherwise. He brought her quickly towards the motel and their room, entering it without a moment's pause.

Nathan had been sitting in the chair, his eyes focused on the wall before him, his mind on something vastly more important. He was so deeply wrapped in his mind he hardly paid attention to the rush behind Lucas' entrance. Nathan barely looked to him when he stormed in with Brooke in tow. The girl closed the door with a softer touch than her boyfriend used to open it.

"Where's Haley?" Lucas asked while unzipping his bag and dropping it on the bed. He grabbed a discarded pair of jeans from the floor and began balling them up before he realized he hadn't gotten an answer. He looked up at his brother. "Nathan."

The harsh tone of his name got Nathan's attention better and he looked up at the source.

"What?" he asked, his voice still retaining a bit of detachment.

"Where's Haley?" he repeated.

"Shower." He answered then becoming completely present, stood and asked. "What are you doing?"

"We gotta go." He replied, tossing Brooke's bag to her. She caught it and nervously started to duplicate his actions with her own things.

"Why, what's happening?" he asked.

"It…It might not be safe here anymore." Lucas responded, going to the bathroom door and knocking on it. "Haley. Haley, come on out. We've got to go."

He heard no answer other than the shower's running water.

"Wait, now hold on." Nathan stated, moving to where his brother attempted to talk to his wife through the door. "What's going on?"

He moved his gaze from Lucas to Broke waiting for an answer. The girl shifted under his questioning.

"I-"

"We heard someone talking." Lucas interrupted, surprising her. They connected their eyes and Lucas glanced away to finish the lie. "Some guy saying he thinks he saw the girl they're looking for that shot the mayor. His friends didn't take him seriously, but we can't afford to wait until someone else does."

Nathan nodded, accepting the answer with a sigh and agreeing with a quiet. "Ok."

Brooke kept her gaze on Lucas who waited until Nathan had turned away before putting his sight on her. She offered him a grateful half-smile to which he nodded. True, Lucas wasn't happy with what potential danger she'd unintentionally brought upon them, but he wasn't going to let cast blame on her.

It didn't matter why, right now all that mattered was getting out of the area as soon as possible.

* * *

The warm water felt good hitting her head and rolling down her body.

Slipping her hands in her hair, she entwined her fingers in the wet locks and let out a long breath. The water wasn't helping with the headache like she hoped it would.

Haley pulled her hands from her head and braced them against the tile of the wall beneath the shower head. Hanging her head, she watched the water circling down the drain and longed for her problems to disappear so simply.

Problems? She didn't have problems, she had catastrophic disasters that ruined lives. Everybody's life.

She didn't want to dwell on that; tried not to think about any of it even though she knew it was a fruitless effort. She wanted to focus on the way Nathan had held her rather than the reason he felt he had to. She didn't want to wonder why she didn't remember actually grabbing or firing the gun; what her family was thinking of her right now.

Her parents. She never wanted to do anything that would ever disappoint or upset them. She worked her whole life to make them proud of her. God, how well that had turned out now.

There was a knock on the door; a voice coming with it. The water muffled the sound, making it difficult to hear what was being said. She could only tell who it was: Lucas. She slid the curtain back, sticking her head out to listen but the voice stopped.

She turned back to the waterfall with the intention to turn it off and come out. When Haley reached for the knobs, she pulled back with a quick intake of breath. A sharp twinge, like an electric current suddenly traveled through her body. Haley felt her heart speed up as the pain blurred her vision. She heard knocking again and a voice she recognized this time as Nathan's.

She wanted to call out; to ask for help, but couldn't. Haley's mind gave the order but her body wouldn't obey. It felt like she was locked in her body.

She had barely the time to ask herself what was happening before the blur of her surroundings went completely black.

* * *

He sat leaning back in his chair, his mind distracted from the work that lay ahead of him. His brain replaying his conversation with Dan. He wondered how far away the vengeful man was from the teenagers.

Bettis thumbed his wedding band and cursed the decision he'd made, more than the surprise second thoughts that nagged at him now. He had no doubt that between the police and Dan Scott, the kids had a much better shot at coming out the other end with the cops. Whatever the story was, whatever happened that day…the only chance the girl had was the justice system, however flawed it may be.

At least if she was guilty, and found so, she could serve a sentence and then have the chance to live a good life. He tapped a few keys on the keyboard and brought up the file on the screen, reading over the information presented before him.

Haley James-Scott. 17 years old. Youngest daughter and a sister several times over. 4.0 and en route to being valedictorian. Married with a rock tour under her belt to boot.

The possibilities were endless as far as what was up the road for the girl.

The detective knew that whatever direction he took this would result in unavoidable consequences. He sighed, figuring he might as well go with the one that would allow him to sleep at night. He stood up and approached his partner's desk.

"What's going on?" the man asked casually, not looking away from his screen.

The younger man anxiously tapped his fingertips on the desktop and spoke.

"So I looked into the lead on the credit card; checks out." He stated. "Think we should call it in to the cops out there."

"About time." He commented in response, picking up the phone while his younger partner gave a nod and walked away.

Back at his own desk, Bettis let out a breath and sent a quiet hope up that the local police would find them soon; at the very least, find them before the mayor.

x

x

x


	19. If I Talk To God

**A/N: Yay! Did everyone love the brulian wedding? I know I did. But **_**man **_**I kept waiting for something bad to happen. Something bad always happen. But if the worst thing to happen is that a loser dad doesn't show up, I'm plenty ok with that. Here we go! Oh what's going on? What's gonna happen?**

* * *

"_If I talk to God_

_I don't know if He's listening_

_When I speak out loud_

_I don't know if He's home"_

'_If I Talk To God'_

-The Last Goodnight

* * *

She first became aware of a prickling sensation across her shoulder and back as the water from the shower head continued to dance on her skin. Next was the sore ache in the opposite shoulder trapped between her weight and the tub's hard surface. Lastly, and what pulled her towards total awareness, was the thunderous pounding from the door and the loud declaration.

"Haley!"

She opened her eyes then, the worry in her husband's voice alerting her to do so. She cleared her throat and answered back with a groggy:

"Yeah." She called out slightly louder than a normal speaking voice.

When she spoke, a pan fluttered and she brought a hand up to her nose where she felt it. Nathan's voice then returned.

"Is everything alright?"

Haley groaned and sat up, her hand coming away with some red on her pruned palm. Looking at it with surprise, she touched again above her lip and still pulled back with crimson that was thinned and washing away due to the constant stream of water.

"Fine." She answered him in the same tone.

She looked down at the splotch of red running a few streams down the side of the ceramic where her head had been lying. It must've been where she'd fallen and had hit it pretty rough. She wiped it away and laid her hand out under the spray of water before turning it off and got off. Unrolling some tissue, she pressed it to her nose unsure if it was still currently bleeding or had already stopped, and went to the sink. Haley looked into the mirror, pulling away the paper and gripping the edge of the sink. She saw a red mark on her cheekbone that would probably be a bruise soon.

She opened her mouth, stretching her jaw and began the process of cleaning up and drying off, able to hear the muffled voices outside talk amongst each other. Once dressed, she looked one more time at her reflection. Her damp hair hung around her face. The mark on her cheek was more noticeable now, beginning to develop the deep colors of a bruise. Laying her palm against it, she winced at the brush of contact.

Her mind moved backwards. Haley had been in the shower when she heard Nathan, then…

…Then she was waking up on the floor. She must've fainted for some reason. She hadn't exactly been sleeping or eating as well as she should. None of them had; being on the run as they were throws a wrench in priorities like that. Maybe it was because of the conversation with Nathan. It had been emotionally exhausting for sure.

Maybe…the thought suddenly struck her in the form of a question she'd never answered. Brooke's voice in her ear, asking if she could be pregnant.

Was she?"

It was possible, she supposed. She and Nathan slept together and it was so unexpected she hadn't yet resumed her birth control. She honestly didn't think she needed to; add to that Nathan didn't use any protection of his own either. It wasn't impossible that she was carrying a child, but it was certainly the last thing they needed.

Shaking her head of the thoughts, she took a breath and made her exit from the small space.

As soon as his wife came into view, Nathan completely forgot about the conversation he was in the middle of, and the bag he was packing. He immediately gave his full attention to Haley and went over to her.

"Hey are you ok? I thought I heard something – What happened?" he asked concerned as soon as he saw her face, he took her chin carefully in his fingers to inspect it.

"Nothing." She answered, offering an uncertain half smile and telling him. "I just, fell in the shower. It's nothing."

"Jeez." He commented, looking at it again and wincing as if it were his skin the mark painted. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She replied, sliding her hand over his and pulling it down to hold. "Just a bruise."

Haley glanced over to the bed and saw the open bags and her friends putting their things inside.

"What's going on?"

Nathan ran his hands up and down her arms with a sigh.

"We're leaving." He told her, holding her hands and bringing them up to chest level. She pulled them away.

"Why?" her word coming out a little harsher than it needed to be.

"Look something happened earlier. Lucas and Brooke heard some talk." He explained calmly. "You might've been recognized."

She let out a scoff and shook her head.

"How?" she asked irritated. She gestured toward the door. "I haven't been out that door since we've been here. If anyone got recognized it'd be one of you. Come and go as much as you want while I'm stuck like a damn house pet!"

Brooke looked to Lucas and he could see what she was thinking. Their cover story had that gaping hole in it and they never considered it. She wrung her hands and began to try to explain.

"Hal-" she began but was interrupted by Nathan.

"It must've been that night you tried leaving then." He speculated quickly without thinking.

Now it was Lucas who spoke up.

"Wait." He said in shock and looked to Haley. 'What's he talking about?"

"Nothing." She answered right away sending a glare at Nathan.

"Haley, did you go out?" he asked heatedly, coming up to her. She turned to him and stated pointedly.

"Yes."

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked to which Nathan spoke up.

"Hey!" He warned his brother. Lucas spoke again.

"Well where'd you go?" he asked. "He said you tried to leave."

"Because I did."

"Damn it Haley, after everything we've done to this point…what would make you think that's a good idea?"

"I'm not talking about this." Haley answered, turning away. The best friend she was fighting with grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

"Haley-"

Nathan was already there, shoving him away and moving to stand in front of his wife. Pointing a finger at his brother as he demanded.

"You need to calm down!"

Brooke had come up to stand by Lucas, putting her hands around his arm, hoping for her presence to help keep him calm.

"Lucas." She said quietly.

"I'm sorry." He apologized but sounded no less agitated. "Am I the only one who getrs how serious this is? Everything is on the line here guys! Our lives!"

"You think I don't know?" she asked rhetorically, stepping forward to the guy she was arguing with, but Nathan easily was able to stop her progress. Her husband put his large hands on her shoulders and kept her from going any farther. But her words weren't halted.

"I get it, Lucas. I _fucking_ get it!" she screamed at him, enunciating each word by slapping her palm to her chest.

"Haley, calm down." Brooke tried to ease the situation. But her attempt was ignored.

"I left for you! _Both_ of you. I left to get away from you. I was trying to give you guys a chance to get your lives back."

Lucas felt his eyes widen with shock and opened his mouth to talk, he stumbled a bit searching for what to say but Haley began speaking again almost immediately.

"I told you, I told you from the beginning what I wanted to do." She stated angrily. "I wanted to go to the police! But this…this on the run life without a future we have here, this was _your _idea, Lucas!"

"Alright, that's enough now." Nathan interjected, Brooke agreed and tried to pull Lucas to the other side of the room. But she was unsuccessful and her boyfriend's voice continued on.

"I was trying to protect you!" he defended, raising his voice again. "You came to me so I could help you!"

"Well guess what? I regret it!" she shouted around Nathan's chest as he stood in front of her in attempts to stop the fight. "So you can – "

Haley's words halted abruptly, exhaling suddenly. She grabbed Nathan's arms as she faced him and closed her eyes, trying to breathe away the wave of nausea that crashed over her.

"Haley? Baby, what's wrong?" Nathan asked immediately, holding her arms as well to support her weight. "Haley?"

Lucas and Brooke stepped over as well, the boy completely forgetting all about the fight and its cause.

"What's going on?" he asked while his girlfriend simply said her friend's name with worry.

"I'm fine, I just -I don't …" Haley shook her head. "I don't feel so good."

She stumbled away from her friends and husband, retreating once again, into the bathroom. Barely reaching the toilet in time to begin retching.

Xx

Nathan sat on the mattress and touched the back of his hand to his wife's forehead and then cheek. He sighed, moving a strand of hair away from her sleeping now sleeping face.

"She's warm." He stated out loud, tucking the blanket around her.

"How warm?" Lucas asked from where he was pacing.

"Warm enough she shouldn't be going anywhere." He answered, sighing again and running a hand through his dark hair.

Lucas whispered a curse and walked across the room. When he passed in front of Brooke, his girlfriend reached out to him.

Their hands grazed and he paused, looking at her. Concern carved into every piece of her face. He sat down beside her and held her hand. Entwining their fingers, he looked at them and asked.

"You ok?"

"No." she answered, looking too at their interlocked hand. "I'm scared."

"We'll think of something." He tried to assure her. "It's all going to work out."

"For who?" she asked, looking to him. "We get caught and go back: the three of us end up with some nothing punishment and Haley's in prison for years?"

"Listen to me." He told her. "No one's getting caught and _no one_ is going to prison."

"You don't know that Luke." She stated, shaking her head and glancing to her friends. "Maybe she was right; maybe we should've stayed."

"What?"

"At least there's a chance if we had fought it. But running away?" she shook her head. "Lucas we're gonna get caught."

"No, we won't."

"Lucas." She hissed interrupting him. "The credit card. They're gonna show up, they're gonna find us."

Lucas looked over to the door while Brooke put her head in her hands and muttered to herself.

"So stupid." She shook her head and felt Lucas rub his hand up and own her back. Sitting up straight she looked at Nathan, speaking to Lucas. "We have to tel him the truth."

"Brooke," he began quietly. "what's the difference why we have to go?"

"Haley's sick, he's not gonna pack up and start running with her if it's not an immediate threat." She reasoned.

The boy shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath.

"Alright. Alright, fine." He said, slapping his palms to his thighs to get up.

"No, Lucas. I should do it." Brooke declared, stopping him. Her boyfriend began to shake his head, but she was already trying to convince him. "It was my mistake; my fault."

"Ok." He agreed reluctantly, holding out his hand when he stood. Brooke took it and rose as well. Before walking over, Brooke spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

Lucas knew she was genuinely sorry, but he couldn't exactly forgive the mistake just yet. So instead he replied;

"I know."

With a nod, from her, the two approached the raven haired boy.

"Nathan." Brooke began, getting his attention. He stood from the matress and turned to face them.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"There's something you should know."

* * *

Down the way, not far from where the four teens were, Larry the motel manager sat in his office. The television filled the air with the sounds of the game show. The man answered one of the questions out loud just as the bell rang above his door. A graying man came storming in and went right to the desk.

"Afternoon sir." Larry said quickly, pulling his feet off the desktop where they'd been casually resting. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can do something about whoever's in the room next to mine." He spat. "These walls ain't soundproof, and all I hear since I got this morning is shouting!"

"Ok. Yes sir." Larry said quickly, made nervous by the anger in the man. "I'll have a talk with 'em."

"You better." He demanded and turned to leave, slamming out the door. Larry ran a hand over his goatee and sighed. Finding the room was easy enough, there was still some audible arguing going on. Knocking on the door, he heard the voices come to an abrupt stop. A second later the door cracked open and a guy stuck his head out. The one who'd rented the room from him.

"Yeah?" he asked quickly.

"Sorry to bother you, sir. I've gotten some complaint about noise comin' from your room."

"Noise?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Shouting and …" he rubbed the back of his neck. "Look it's not my place to get into other people's personal business, if you're fighting with your girl or whatever, but you're not the only ones here."

"No, yeah, I get it." He said quickly. "Sorry, we'll keep it down."

"Appreciate it." He nodded and the guy stepped back to close the door. But Larry spoke up. "Hey…do I know ya from somewhere?"

"Um, I mean I rented this room from you." He answered again attempting to close the door.

"I don't know. I think…" he pointed his finger as he thought. "I've seen you somewhere else."

"Yeah, you know I get that a lot." The blonde said quickly with a fake chuckle and a nod. "It's one of those faces, I guess."

This time he managed to close the door and disappear from view.

Larry walked away wondering why he had a buzzing feeling that he'd seen that guy before …recently. He just couldn't place it.

Walking back to his office, he happened to glance across the street and his eyes saw a patrol car parked outside the diner. His feet stopped as it hit him. He remembered checking out at the drugstore when a couple of cops came to the cashier and showed her a couple pictures, asking if she'd seen any of them. When she said no they showed them to him as well.

That guy was one of them.

Wanted.

His heart pounded as it came to him. Fugitives, in his motel.

He looked over his shoulder back at the room he had just come from and whispered to himself.

"Holy shit."

X

X

X

X


	20. Blanket Of Fear

**A/N: LOVE YOU GUYS! Here we go…this chapter is kind of a big deal. A big deal in the way that…well…you'll see. ****As always, a thousand thanks and a million hearts to everyone taking this ride with me!**

* * *

"_I believe the only thing we have to fear is_

_Fear itself_

_And the man behind the curtain."_

'_Blanket Of Fear'_

Papa Roach

* * *

Nathan shoved the last of his wife's belongings roughly into her bag.

"Nathan." Brooke's voice attempted to come to him. She stood behind him, arms wrapped around herself nervously as Lucas closed the door behind their visitor. "Nathan, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you're sorry." He replied, grabbing the picture of the table and slipping it in as well. "You're sorry and now I gotta tell my sick wife she can't rest right now because she's gotta run again. _Because_ of her best friend."

Nathan punctuated his words with the quick zip of the bag.

"I didn't-"she began with a tremble in her voice, but he didn't let her finish. He turned around and spoke up, angry words returning as they had when he'd first been told.

"Didn't what?" he growled at her. "Didn't think? Didn't remember what the hell was going on? Didn't give a shit about what the hell you were doing?"

Lucas was quickly at her side while Nathan riled.

"You made a stupid mistake, Brooke! And Haley's the one who has to pay for it!"

"Ok, that's enough." Lucas interjected.

"Like it was enough when you tore into Haley about her leaving?" he asked. "When it looked like it was her fault they were coming, you didn't have problem jumping down her throat even though you knew the truth! But now that it's Brooke, it's suddenly too much!"

"Will you keep your voice down?" Lucas hissed at him. "The manager just said he's getting noise complaints. We don't need any more attention. What we need is to find out what our next move is."

"No." Nathan stated firmly and pointed a finger at his brother. "_You_ have to figure out what _your _next move is. Me and Haley are leaving."

He turned around and picked up the phone to call a cab to pick them up. Lucas grabbed his arm and turned him around before he could.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded to know. "We need to stick together."

Nathan pulled his arm angrily away and stepped into his brother's face.

"You want to help Haley, Lucas? You stay here and let them find _you_." He told him. "It's Brooke's name on that card. They find you guys; you say some crap about getting away with each other or something. I don't care. But they assume Haley's with you; they don't have any actual proof."

Lucas shook his head disbelieving and disagreeing with the plan his brother came up with.

"I'm not leaving. She came to me for help, Nate." He said, his voice almost sounded pleading.

"Because _I_ wasn't there, Lucas." Nathan argued. "But I'm here now. I'm here and I'm going to take care of my wife."

"But-"

"Nathan's right." Brooke suddenly spoke up. Two pairs of eyes turned to her. "It makes sense. They find us, they'll ask us some questions, but if nothing else we'll distract them long enough. It gives them times to get away and come up with something."

Nathan nodded and returned to the phone while Lucas kept his eyes on his girlfriend. He took a step her way and asked.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "We can't leave her; can't abandon her like this."

"Lucas, this will help her. It's the best option we have right now." She reasoned. "When they're asking us questions, that's where the focus is: on us. We'll get a story together while we wait."

"But I-"he began dejected.

"Lucas," she spoke softly, grabbing his hand. "You're not abandoning her. You're leaving her with her husband who will do anything to keep her safe. This is best."

Her last sentence a quiet whisper as she gave his hand a squeeze. He sighed and looked down nodding after a moment and saying a very quiet. "Ok."

He lifted her hand to his lips for a soft kiss and she stepped up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He returned her embrace and she could feel his reluctance to go along with the plan. He really felt he was betraying a loyalty by parting ways.

Nathan got off the phone and turned around to face them. He looked between the couple.

"The car will be here in fifteen minutes." He informed them.

"Where, uh, where are you going to go?" Lucas asked, clearing his throat as it wavered in its strength.

"I'm not sure." He told him. "North, probably. I'm thinking New York, somewhere it's easy to get lost in a crowd."

Lucas clenched his jaw and nodded.

"Sounds as good a plan as any." He said quietly. "We'll buy as much time for you guys as we can but…be careful, ok? Maybe, Maybe try and get in touch from time to time when you can until this gets under control."

Nathan nodded and turned his attention to his wife and sat down on the mattress beside her. HE laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle shake and waited for her reaction. She stirred from her fevered sleep and her eyes cracked open to see him.

"Nathan?" she asked, then. "What…"

Her eyes moved around her immediate sight before settling back on him again as his voice came quietly.

"How do you feel?" he asked her.

"I don't know." She answered, closing her eyes again and exhaling. "Not so good."

She opened her eyes again when his fingers were brushing her hair aside.

"Nathan," she began. "What's happening?"

Her husband sighed. "We're leaving. I know you don't want to, but we have to, Hales. I'm sorry."

Haley moaned a bit and moved her hand to where his was. She held it for a breath before speaking again in a near whisper.

"I don't want to go to jail, Nathan." She told him, still groggy from the combination of sleep and fever.

"Hey." Nathan squeezed her hand and leaned over her. "You won't. I promise."

She looked away and her thick voice spoke again. She shook her head, a tear sliding down her soft face.

"I don't want our baby born there."

Nathan felt his heart halt at the words. He froze in the moment, only registering that Haley seemed to have fallen asleep yet again. His mouth fell open as if he intended to speak but no words formed in his mind. He was able to gather enough of himself to shut it and his eyes traveled over his wife before he turned around and saw the other two across the room.

They spoke in hushed words to one another; they didn't appear to have heard the shocking words. Not knowing what else to do, his body rose from where he sat. He put his hands in his pockets and silently made his way over to them. Lucas's back was to him so it was Brooke who saw him first. She stopped her quiet conversation to her boyfriend and focused on him instead.

"Nathan?" she said his name softly. "What is it?"

She stepped to him and his gaze was on the floor. Her voice became a whisper as she put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Nathan?" his behavior frightening her in a new way than she had been already.

"Is…" he began in a barely there voice. He brought his eyes up to her and exposed undiluted fear and worry owning them. "Is Haley pregnant?"

Brooke's responding look was similar to what he supposed his looked like when he heard. Her mouth open, she shook her head before using her voice.

"I don't, I don't know." She answered in all honesty." I mean, I asked her if she thought she could be…she never answered. With everything else I didn't follow up."

"But you think, you thought it was possible, right? Something made you ask her."

Brooke swallowed and nodded.

"There were things that made me think she might be." She told him, watching him run a hand down his face. "Did she say something?"

Nathan nodded, his hand still over his mouth. He moved it and felt his words shake in his mouth.

"She said… She said she didn't want out baby born in prison."

"Oh my God." She breathed out, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his body tightly. "Oh my god, Nathan."

Lucas saw the exchange and came up to them no longer feeling he could stand by and not participate in the conversation.

"What's going on?"

* * *

The sign came up on the highway, welcoming drivers to the town.

One in particular driver smirked as the words came across his view. The dark haired man gripped the wheel tighter in anticipation.

Almost there.

* * *

"This changes things, doesn't it?' Brooke asked. "About running?"

The guys looked her way and Lucas responded almost immediately.

"All it does it make it more important." He told her.

"Lucas-"

"Brooke, it's not just Haley we have to protect now. If she's really pregnant, we need to keep both of them somewhere completely out of reach."

"No, Lucas, it's not right." She argued and her boyfriend simply shook his head, waving her words off.

"We have to make a move now." He told her and Brooke shook her head in disbelief and walked up to Nathan.

"Nathan, listen to me." She pleaded to him. "We're talking about a baby here. _Your_ baby. I mean, do you really want its life to be this way? Running and hiding; always looking over your shoulder all the time? Is that what you want? What you think Haley wants?"

"She'll want her baby to be safe." Lucas argued, reminding everyone he was there and had a different opinion. "And that only happens if we move now."

Brooke turned to the young man, her words now aimed at him.

"How is that safe?" she asked. "A baby need stability, needs a home; a real one, not a new motel every week."

"Once we find a good place, a safe place, they can have that. The baby can have that."

"Lucas you have to stop this." Brooke told him. "There _is_ no place like that. It's a dream; there's nowhere that's a hundred percent safe. It was a good hope, Lucas and it was noble of you to do everything you've done so far, but it's time to face the facts. It's over. We have to go back. It's the only way there's a chance to beat this."

"We go back, Haley's behind bars." Lucas stated matter of factly.

"Not forever. Maybe not at all." She said without knowing if any honesty existed in her words. "But we keep this up, she's in prison for life. Maybe there aren't any bars, but she's still in jail. We all are."

Lucas looked at the short girl arguing with him and sighed in frustration. The boy suddenly moved his eyes to his brother and hoped he could get the backup he needed to make Brooke see it his way.

"Nate." He addressed him. "Nathan, what do you think?"

Larry gnawed at his thumb nail while his other hand held the phone to his ear. He nodded even though the voice on the other end of the line belonged to someone who obviously couldn't see his actions.

"Yeah." He said quickly. "Yeah it's him. I'm sure."

He paused, separating the blinds and looking out the window as if afraid someone was going to catch him. As if he was doing something wrong.

"I don't know." He answered. "There's a girl with him, I heard her voice through the door. No, I didn't see what she looked like."

He paused again, listening to the instructions.

"Ok." He nodded the pointless nod once again. "Ok, great, just…as fast as you can ok? Calm, I know. I'll be in the office. Thank you, thank you."

Larry hung up and breathed a relieved breath. They'd be there soon.

* * *

Nathan looked between the two, both arguing on behalf of his wife and what was best for her and … their baby. Now suddenly on the spot, he felt completely disoriented. The man was still trying to process the idea of the life changing thought.

A baby? A kid. His.

His and hers; made from them and their love.

He ran a hand through his hair and gave it a tug. He didn't know what he was supposed to do for either of the two he had to take care of. His silent confusion must've gone on too long for the liking of others, because he heard his brother again.

"Nathan." Lucas repeated his name and his blue eyes focused in on the blond.

"I don't…" he trailed off quietly and looked over at Haley, finding words after a moment. He spoke, still gazing at her. "We don't know for sure she's pregnant."

"Ok." Lucas started, "We'll find out but you have to decide what to do and there's not a lot of time."

"I gotta talk to Haley about this." He reasoned. Haley would know the right thing to do, she was the smart one; the smartest. She always knew what to do.

"Nathan." Lucas said his name sharply to get his full attention. "Haley is right there. You see her; she's not in the state of making any decisions right now. You're her husband, it falls to you. One way or another you have to decide for her."

Nathan looked at her a few more heartbeats then turned his head down to the floor.

"We go." He said quietly and looked up.

He saw agreement on his brother's features and disappointment on Brooke's.

"We go somewhere now," he elaborated. "And we find out if there's really a b…if she's pregnant. If she is, then Brooke's right. A baby shouldn't have to live like this. The baby wasn't a part of anything that happened; he or she shouldn't be punished for our mistakes."

"Wow." Brooke spoke in quiet awe. "You sound like a real dad."

Nathan felt a tug tempt the corners of his lips, an urge to grin at the words Brooke said. Although the thought terrified him, her words made him believe that maybe he could really do it; be a father.

"What about you?" he asked Lucas, knowing returning with or without a pregnancy was not the way his brother wanted it to go.

"I said it fell on you." The older Scott recalled. "I might not like it but, "he looked at Brooke and sighed before looking back at Nathan. "I guess it's not up to me, is it?"

Nathan nodded and looked around the room, noting the time. The cab would be there soon. He rubbed the back of his neck, a knot of tension owning the muscles there.

"Um," Nathan started. "Look, I know…I know this isn't easy, none of it has been, but I just…" he let out a large breath, settling on the simple words he needed to say. "Thank you for all of it; everything you've done for Haley. I mean, you were there for her when I wasn't; when she needed someone. Thank you."

Lucas nodded and responded.

"I'd do anything for her, for _both_ of you." He told him honestly. "It was an easy decision, Nathan."

The dark haired young man nodded and then looked to Brooke. He took a step towards her, looking for the words for her as he had for Lucas. Yes, she'd made a mistake, a huge one that cost them dearly. But before that, for a long time, she was the one there with and for his wife. When things were bad between them, when everything was rough and gloomy, Brooke was there for Haley. The two forged a deep bond mended with love and friendship the likes of which Nathan knew he'd forever be grateful to her as well.

Those were the things he wanted to say; that she deserved to hear. But Nathan wasn't great with words and now, speaking to two people he loved and may or may not see again, that affliction was making itself painfully known.

The girl saw his obvious struggle and helped him out. Brooke stepped up and wrapped him in yet another hug. This one, different than the last, was full of all that wasn't being said.

"You take care of our girl." She told him as they embraced, then smirked slightly and added. "_Both_ of them."

Nathan laughed a bit and released their contact.

"Could be a boy.' He played along.

She smiled back at him and he returned to the bed while Brooke took her place by her boyfriend's side, his long arm going around her and holding her tightly to him. Nathan moved to wake Haley yet again, wanting her to have her own chance to speak to the couple before they had to leave.

"Haley," he said her name and roused her. "Hales, we've gotta go."

She stirred and he felt her forehead as she did. Still warm. He noted in his mind that if she wasn't pregnant, she was pretty sick. He looked up when a honk came from the world outside the door.

"Already?" Brooke asked surprised, looking toward the door. Her voice gave away her disappointment.

This was goodbye for God knew how long, and she needed more time. There was too much that needed to be said and no time for it. Haley would be rushed out the door and gone before any deserved words could be said to her dear friend.

Nathan looked apologetically to the two and wrapped his arm around Haley, helping her sit up in her state of slight incoherence.

"Nathan?" her voice came sounding confused.

"Yeah, it's me baby." He assured her. "It's time to go. Come on."

He kept an arm around her and held her hand in the other. Holding her close to his body, he felt her head lull into his chest as he helped her move her legs over the side of the bed.

"Everything's dizzy." She said against his shirt.

Nathan sighed and put a kiss into her hair.

"You'll feel better soon." He vowed to her. "I promise."

He helped her stand which she was able to do leaning heavily on his strong hold.

There was a knock on the door and Nathan mentally cursed the cabdriver for his impatience. His brother picked up the duffle bag containing their things and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'll put this in the car." He offered which Nathan appreciated.

Brooke was standing on the other side of her roommate, though she knew Nathan didn't need her help getting the small girl to the taxi. But she had to do something; had to feel like she was helping in some way if she couldn't say a proper goodbye.

Lucas opened the door to lead the way and halted abruptly.

"Well, well." The voice spoke with an eerie sense of calm. "Would you look what we've got here."

The others also halted right away and the man's dark menacing eyes looked over the teens.

Dan grinned and addressed the occupants.

"Long time, no see."

X

X

X

X


	21. My Fist, Your Mouth, Her Scars

A/N: Gaah! Sorry to have left you guys like I did in the last chap! But what's better than an awesome cliffhanger? Well, that would probably be the continuation of said cliffhanger. Anyway, I can't believe we have to wait til april for more oth! And you should have heard the heated theories flying around the room when me and my sister watched this last one! Anyway, you guys aren't here to read my a/n's…you wanna know what happens to our dear characters! So I grant you your wish with the final mention that this chapter turned out to be pretty difficult to write for more than one reason and on more than one level.

X

* * *

"_Bruise when I tear you up_

_Have I gone too far?_

_What about my fist, _

_your mouth, _

_her scars "_

'_My Fist, Your Mouth, Her Scars'_

-Bullet For My Valentine

* * *

X

She was alone.

In her room with music blaring at an ungodly volume. It almost hurt her ears, but she needed it that way. She needed to kill the silence and, more importantly, to completely smother out the thoughts in her head.

The same thoughts that have been plaguing her for around two weeks now.

Thoughts, fears, worries, questions about her friends.

She'd had Nathan to share those things with at first, he was the only one who understood those thoughts; he had them too. He had them too, at a whole other level than she ever could imagine to. But she hadn't heard from him in days.

Lucas, Brooke, and Haley in even longer.

Peyton was left behind. Left behind to fear the worst and hope for the best.

She hadn't been to school since the day after Nathan left. Since it happened, people all around – both student and teacher – could only talk about one thing. She had dealt with it at first by seeking out Nathan whether or not he was at school that day or she had to go off campus. But he was gone.

So when she heard all the talk, everyone's theory on what did and would happen…she couldn't deal. The detectives showed up to talk to Haley's teachers and the principal one more time. Then after lunch that day, they got Peyton from class to grill her again. She had nothing to tell them. Easily because she knew nothing.

Her friends, very best friends, were off somewhere on the planet and she didn't know where, let alone if they were ok. SO she left school that very day, in the middle of it, and had yet to come back to it. Instead, she'd taken to spending all her time at home.

The only time her speakers weren't screaming was when she was watching the news for any updates on Tree Hill's biggest story. It was usually the same thing, however. Nothing new, call with any information, and then the pictures would be on the screen.

Those pictures had been a focus of hers for days. The harsh tip of her pen scratched ink into the paper in front of her. Peyton blew her breath across the final addition of fresh ink and sat back to look at her finished work.

Four faces were looking back at her, the same four images plastered on channels and papers. Four faces, four mugshots, and across them spread one word. A letter over each of her friend's faces, together reading:

_Free._

The newly drawn question mark at the end rested on no face. It was an afterthought. Sure they weren't there, weren't arrested or imprisoned….but were they free?

Peyton sighed, wishing desperately it wasn't a question.

She sat back on her bed and felt like crying, wondering what her friends were doing at that very moment she was sitting comfortably on a mattress at home. She wondered if they were free.

X

* * *

X

The tension filled the air with an almost physical presence.

In her husband's hold, Haley felt herself become more clear headed when she heard his voice.

Breathing in large breaths, she lifted her heavy head from where it leaned on Nathan and looked to the source. She didn't want to believe it was really happening, but there he was. Her heart thundered and she tightened her hand around Nathan's.

Nathan clenched his jaw murderously tight at the sight of his father. He was more than ready to fly off the handle and attack the man at the very moment; a recount of Haley's tale echoing in his head. The only thing that stopped him from doing os was the feeling of his wife's small hand tightening in his.

He had to think before acting; he had to think about Haley first and foremost.

Brooke froze fearfully, still at her roommate's side. She swallowed and tried to keep her terror from being voiced in a frightened scream. The girl looked to Haley, feeling her tense up. Brooke had no doubt that if she was terrified, there was no word strong enough to describe the fear Haley must be feeling.

Her hazel eyes then went to Lucas and she was dreadfully concerned that he was so close to the man. If Dan decided to make a violent move, Lucas was in direct line of fire.

Lucas stared at his father, only inches before him. The man that caused so much pair and trouble for them all; for everyone he cared about. Lucas wasn't going to let him near them again; he certainly wasn't giving him a chance to get to Haley.

Dan looked over all the shocked faces before him and smirked, noticing the bag his son still held.

"You're not leaving are you?" he asked. "There's so much to catch up on."

Lucas tightened his jaw, his teeth aching from the pressure. He desperately wanted to get a look at the people behind him, his real family, but he couldn't. He refused to take his eyes off the man.

Dan continued to scan them all before resting his eyes on _her_.

She tried to kill him. She thought she could actually do something like that and not have to answer to him?

_Everyone _answered to Dan Scott; one way or another.

"Hello Haley." He said with a dark serenity, watching the girl visibly recoil further into his son.

"Talk to her and I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!" Nathan declared angrily, closing his arm around Haley as she squeezed tighter against him for security.

Dan didn't acknowledge his threat, instead slid his hand in his jacket pocket calmly, keeping his eyes on the girl as he did.

"You and I have unfinished-"

His sentence never completed, silenced immediately. Lucas took action, throwing a hard punch at his father. All hell broke loose and he heard Brooke scream his name as Dan swung back at him.

Still sore and bruised, Lucas reeled, barely ducking another punch and throwing his shoulder into Dan's stomach in a tackle.

"Lucas!" Brooke shouted again, scared to death for him.

"Go!" Lucas hollered as he struggled with the older man who was attempting to get a good shot at his oldest son.

Nathan pulled his wife and Brooke, getting the girls past the fighting bodies and out the door as quickly as possible.

"Come on!" he ordered, feeling their reluctance to leave Lucas behind to fight, Brooke obviously more so in her resistance than Haley. His wife still ill form made her fairly easy to guide in the situation.

Nathan got them outside the room and jogged them down the walk a little ways, then pulled them in front of him. He looked between them and quickly handed the bag Lucas had dropped to Brooke.

"There's the cab." He spoke quickly nodding over their shoulders, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a wad of cash.

"Nath-" his wife tried to say, but Nathan cut her off without giving her a chance; there would be no time for protests.

"Take this." He shoved the money in her hand, he breathed heavily, his heart thundering as sounds of the fight could be heard from their spot. "Wait five minutes. If we're not there, if Dan comes out…you go. Use the money and go, find a motel and stay there."

"No, I-"

"Haley, I Have to help him. You guys have to stay safe; all of you." He told her, moving a large hand to lay gingerly against her stomach. If she was pregnant, if his child was growing beneath his hand, he wondered when he'd be able to see it. If he'd ever be able to know the life they'd created. She shook her head and Nathan pulled her towards him, placing a hard desperate kiss on her forehead.

They didn't have time to argue. He had to help his brother. Nathan's eyes then went to Broke who'd been silent, tears in her eyes as she couldn't pull her gaze away from the place they'd just fled, where the person she loved most in the world was in there fighting for them and not in the shape for it at all.

"Go." Nathan demanded to Brooke. "Take her."

Brooke pressed her lips together and forced a nod. Her fumbling hands grabbed her friend's and she somehow found the strength of will to turn around and head to their waiting taxi while Nathan ran back into the room.

Lucas shoved Dan back against the wall, shaking the fixtures with the impact of their momentum. He couldn't get a clear upper hand on the larger man. He held his father against the wall by the collar of his jacket, freeing one hand to swing at him again and hopefully finally stop him long enough to get away.

Dan anticipated the punch and blocked it with his forearm, hitting his son square in the jaw instead. The force of the blow to the already bruised area of his face knocked Lucas back and down. Dan then stood to his full height, panting and looking down at him. He pointed at him.

"You should learn to mind your own business." He said to him. "This had nothing to do with you."

Dan turned to leave and was met with a fierce pain that exploded in his cheekbone just under his eye. The strength of his son's surprise punch sent the older man to the floor.

Adrenaline and rage fueled Nathan as he leapt only on emotion. He went over to the man and continued to hit him. Not relenting as Haley's scared small voice danced in his ear as she told him her story of what happened; her frightened demeanor and desperation for it to be over.

Suddenly, he felt arms pull him up and away; his name being repeated.

"Nathan!" this one loud and harsh and Nathan snapped his head aside and saw Lucas. His eyes went then to the floor, his father beaten and bleeding, the man groaning on the floor.

Nathan looked down at his father and was surprised to see the damage he'd done to the man. Surprised, but not sorry. He was panting and trained his eyes on his brother who was grimacing, his arm wrapped around his side.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine, we have to go." He said quickly, heading to the door.

He could see Brooke standing nervously at the open door of the taxi, a look of pure relief owning her features when she saw them appear from the doorway. Nathan figured Haley was in the car already, waiting to see whether or not the girls would be joined by the brothers.

Brooke smiled in relief while they approached, so very happy to see them coming. She couldn't do this without them. She was about to take a step toward them when a sound filled her ears.

Shocked and afraid she turned in the direction she heard it.

Sirens.

At the building, she saw the blinds in the office quickly smack back down as if someone had been peeking out between the blades of them. There was no doubt that those sirens were for them.

"Hurry!" she shouted to the guys as the sound got louder.

Brooke quickly got in the car, sliding over as far as she could to make room for them. She pressed tightly against Haley, whose head was leaning on the window, to make room for the guys and spoke to the cab driver.

"When those guys get in take off fast, ok?" she requested.

The man looked over his shoulder at her.

"You kids in some kind of trouble?" he asked her. "Cause if those sirens are for you, I'm not a part of your escape."

"Please," Brooke pleaded. "Please, we need your help."

"It's over." Haley mumbled into the window, eyes shut and sheen of sweat on her head. "It's all over."

"No." Brooke stated, wrapping an arm around her. "No, it's not. It's fine."

"What's wrong with her?" he asked roughly, gesturing his thumb toward Haley.

"Nothing." Brooke dismissed his curiosity. "She's fine."

She stepped out of the car and waved them over, as if it could make them move any faster. The guys' almost arrival at the car seemed a cue for the screaming squad cars to appear.

Three of them came, lights flashing and screeching to a halt in front of the motel parking lot. Everything was a frenzy of motion and sound after that.

Nathan barely registered what few details he could like watching the middle aged driver flee the taxi with his hands in the air or the words the officers were shouting from where they stood. Lucas froze in shock, raising his hands to his shoulder's height at the sudden sight of the officer's weapons and started talking. Explaining something or another that Nathan wasn't listening to. Brooke took her cue from Lucas and raised her hands as well, though no words came from her mouth.

All Nathan knew mattered was his wife, while someone barked orders he didn't listen to. Nathan watched one of them approach the car and open the back door and immediately yell at the girl inside to exit. An officer was currently pulling his brother's hands behind his back, another approaching Nathan to do the same.

But his eyes remained on Haley, who'd come out of her seat hands up as instructed on the opposite side of the car that Brooke was leaning on also going through her own arrest.

Nathan tensed when his own officer was behind him ready to do the same. The man searched him briefly and began pulling his hands behind his back, pausing in surprise.

"We've got blood!" he announced and Nathan suddenly remembered Dan was barely thirty feet from them in the room.

"Been hittin' someone?" he asked, but Nathan didn't respond.

He was watching the man handling his wife; he held a picture up by her face and nodded, calling out to everyone around.

"It's her." He declared. "We got ourselves a killer."

Haley flinched at the loud voice that said the word.

"He's not dead." Haley said in a small voice, not looking at him.

"Did I ask for a recap?" he asked angrily, his face inches from hers.

"Hey, leave her alone." Brooke said from the opposite side of the car as she was being pulled away towards a squad car.

He chuckled without humor.

"Sure, I'll leave you alone." He spat, spinning her around forcing her to lean on the car. "All alone, for about fifteen to life."

Nathan's temper erupted and he ripped himself away from the cop who'd only managed to get one cuff on him before the outburst. He made it over, handcuff dangling from his wrist like a charm bracelet, and pulled the man away from his wife.

"Don't touch her!" he demanded.

But Nathan himself was quickly pulled off. His wife screamed his name, reaching out to him. Her fingers were a breath from contact when she was forced back to face the car once again. She heard the sounds of struggle and stressed the corner of her eye to see, catching a glimpse of her husband on the ground with a knee in his back. She winced when her own shoulders were wrenched and cold metal pinched her skin as it circled her wrists.

Her arresting officer gave commands. She didn't listen; focus only on trying to see Nathan.

"Let's put tough guy and sharp shooter in separate cars." He instructed. "Leave the other two together."

Haley was able to catch Nathan's eyes, tears falling from her own. She wanted to say she was sorry. This was all happening because of her. She wanted to say she loved him more than words would ever be able to explain.

He was pulled to his feet and she was pulled away in another direction. Nathan tried to take a step toward her, her name on his lips as her heart broke in front of him, but went nowhere but where they wanted him to.

"Watch your head." Came a not so friendly suggestion when she was guided into the patrol car.

Haley flinched when he slammed the door behind her.

She looked out her window, trying to see the others in their cars. But all she could see were bright lights and an audience of spectators. Her hands protested in discomfort when the car lurched and her body leaned back on to them, pressing them between her and the seat. More tears fell down her cheeks and she hung her head.

"Now don't go feeling sorry for yourself." That voice again.

She didn't look up, just let her weight shift as the car went on, but it didn't stop him from continuing.

"You know you couldn't run forever." He said to her. "You can't hide from the things you've done. Sooner or later, it always catches up to you."

His eyes went to the rearview mirror a moment before going back to the road in front of him. He smirked to himself and finished his thought.

"Sooner or later…everybody pays."

X

X


	22. Maybe Tomorrow

**A/N: SO is attempting to infuriate me greatly, giving me trouble trying to add chapters, but I will not be stopped! **

**Fun fact, I've reached an immense milestone as a writer! A death threat! Call me crazy, but I call that a win.**

* * *

"_So maybe tomorrow _

_I'll find my way home_

_So maybe tomorrow_

_I'll find my way home."_

'_Maybe Tomorrow'_

- Stereophonics

* * *

Her head was killing her.

The painful thudding was relentless as buildings and streets of the unknown city slid by her window. She'd been trying to put aside how she felt physically to focus on what was going on. A task easier said than done. Haley lifted her head from the cool glass of the window pane.

She vaguely pulled up the memory of her first arrest. The uncomfortable ride there hadn't been riddled with guilt and despair; it had been anger. Anger at the girls crammed in the police car with her; the ones that caused it to begin with by stealing all those shirts. Even though she was furious then, she'd also been terrified and having them with her made her less afraid of what was happening.

This time was different. The crime was hers, the ride was alone, her punishment would – and should – be hers and hers alone to bear. This wasn't shoplifting. She shot a person. Attempted murder they called it.

Haley had been preaching and protesting that she had to do the right thing and turn herself in. While she still believed it was right, she was still horrified of what was happening and what was coming. And her friends were being punished as well. Undeserved punishment for trying to help. And Nathan.

Oh God, Nathan.

His eyes when they were pulled away from each other…she couldn't take it. It was a searing slash across her rapidly beating heart. The car pulled to a stop and Haley flinched when the driver's door closed loudly and watched the impolite man round the car over to her door. She watched the door move away when he opened it and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Haley looked out and up at the building, wondering if she could even make her legs work enough to walk to it.

"Alrighty, let's go." The man told her, reaching in and putting his large hand around her upper arm to help –force?- her out.

She stood and moved her eyes quickly over her surroundings once more. She wished she was in Tree Hill, wished for the face of a friend; anything familiar she could look to for an ounce of comfort in this strange land.

"Come on." He spoke again, urging her forward, closer to the mouth of the building waiting to devour her whole.

Her head pounding, her heart racing, her stomach turning, Haley found herself breathing in panicked erratic bits of air. As he continued their approach, she felt her body attempt to resist the movements. Her feet tried to plant into the ground, but only managed to make her stumble. He gripped her a bit tighter trying to face her along without pause but her behavior didn't stop. Annoyed, he finally paused to ask her.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Haley darted her eyes from the building to him and her voice answered with a whisper thin strength.

"I'm scared."

"Well you should be." He answered with a scoff. "Scary things happen when you break laws and try to kill people."

"I wasn't trying to – " her voice wavered as she gave it a bit more volume, shaking her head. "I didn't mean…I just, it happened so fast, an-and then he was shot and …"

"I'm sorry, and here I am without a handkerchief to offer you." He said sarcastically to her tears, again moving forward despite her protestation.

"Wait." She pleaded as her feet stuttered up the cement stairs with him. "Wait, please. Please, just- at least tell me about everyone else. Are they here? What-What happens now? What's going to happen to me?"

Her absolute fear and nervousness made easy work of tumbling out words at such a panicked rate. Each of them ignored and unanswered. He finally got her through the double doors of the building and she was suddenly engulfed by it, swallowed by the monster. Anymore words she may have had died in her throat as she looked around the lively room. The man lead her through it; weaving around all obstacles towards a destination she didn't know. On the way she caught a glimpse of that something familiar she'd been hoping for.

"Nathan." She said her husband's name to herself, watching a uniformed man lead him through a door. "Where's he going? Where-Where's he taking him?"

"If I were you, I'd focus on worrying about yourself about now." The man, whose name she hadn't heard yet, told her. "You got some long days ahead of you and they're just starting."

* * *

"Don't ignore me." Brooke requested, angry though frightened tears pricked her eyes.

The man she spoke to said nothing in return, only continued guiding her along. She was getting angrier by the second.

"You can't treat us like we don't matter." She told him. "We're still people, damn it. Answer me: Where are they?"

The man with the wrinkled face only responded by unlocking the door in front of him with the hand not currently holding the girl's bicep. The barred door opened and he ushered her inside. Brooke instantly turned to face him as the door was closed between them.

"Say something." She demanded, this time she got a vocal response.

"Put your hands through the opening." He instructed passively.

Brooke scoffed in offense but did as she was asked, sticking her hands through the horizontal opening up to her wrists. His keys sang a small jingle as he unlocked the metal bracelets and walked away. Brooke called after him.

"Hey!" she slammed her palm on the bars and shouted. "Hey! Get back here! Answer me!"

She banged the metal once more with a frustrated groan before the girl turned around. She ran her hand through her hair, stopping midway when she saw she wasn't alone. Two women, one of whom looked passed out on the mattress of the lower bunk along the left wall. The other had smeared make up, messed hair, no shoes and a set of scratches on her cheek and neck.

Catfight, much?

She made the mental note to stay out of the way of the woman on the back wall bench. She moved to sit on the empty bench on the adjacent wall. She looked down at her hands and rubbed them together in an effort to wear away the ink staining her fingertips from her printing earlier.

"What you do?" a voice she didn't know asked, getting Brooke to look up.

Catfight was looking at her waiting for an answer. Brooke weighed her options. She could make it worse than it was, hoping it would keep her away. Or should she tell her the truth, try to explain the situation and maybe find an ally to make however long she'd be there a little less horrible. In the end, Brooke sighed and looked back down at her hands.

"Nothing." She lied, the other woman laughing instantly.

"Yeah, sure." She laughed. "You didn't old boy, that?"

Brooke leaned back and crossed her arms, feeling the bars of the wall behind her that was shared with the adjoining cell.

"It's a misunderstanding." Brooke spoke again, keeping her eyes on the woman she was forced to share space with.

"Who were you yelling about?" she asked. "When you were shouting at officer jolly just now? Partners in your misunderstanding?"  
Brooke shook her head and pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth. She didn't want to talk about it with this stranger. She decided. But she didn't want to let slip some words that would maybe get the woman to turn her claws on her. Brooke could handle her own, but she didn't need the added problem.

"So what'd you do?" she asked again. "You can tell me."

"What'd _you_ do?" Brooke asked in return.

"Ah, now that's a good story." She replied. "Ever catch a guy in the middle of running around on you?"

Brooke watched the woman point at her.

"And I mean in the middle of it." She said. "Cause I can tell you, it gets ugly."

"Well I hope you got a few good shots in before gave you those." Brooke said, not very committed to the conversation. The woman touched the scratches and scoffed.

"No, this wasn't from that whore." She laughed. "_She _could barely lift her head by the time I was done. Nah, this was from my last roommate before you. You're lucky, batshit was moved a few minutes before you came."

The woman nodded her head, gesturing past the younger girl in holding. Brooke, out of curiosity, looked over her shoulder on the far wall's bench sat the lone occupant of the other cell. Sitting with her feet on the bench, knees pressed into her chest, her thumb sitting between her teeth as she stared off at what appeared to be nothing. Brooke felt a jolt and turned around, wrapping her hands around a pair of metal cylinders.

"Haley!" she said the girl's name in both surprise and relief at seeing her. "Oh my God, Haley."

"You know her?" the stranger asked coming up behind her. "Damn, that's messed up."

"Haley!" she said her name again a bit louder, finally snapping the girl out of her space off.

"Brooke." Haley voiced walking over to the shared wall. She almost cried, grabbing hold of the girl's hand and swueezing. "God, I didn't think I'd…the-they wouldn't say anything about any of you guys."

"So you don't know anything about the guys?"

"I saw Nathan but.." her voice trailed then became a whisper. "Brooke, they took him away. I don't know what's going on?"

"This is sweet and all but your little girlfriend is a crazy bitch." A voice stated beside Brooke, getting the girls to look at her.

"Shut up." Brooke told her. "Mind your own business."

Brooke waited until she gave some space, walking across back to her seat and glaring. Brooke thought that now it would definitely be harder sharing space with her as she was clearly mad. Regardless, she decided to focus on the important things and gave her attention back to Haley.

"Haley what happened/" she asked quietly. "Did you really get in some sort of fight with her?"

"The guy , he brought me in an-and wouldn't tel me anything about what was gonna happen or where you guys were." Haley began explaining. "And he said something-something about Dan, and she heard and started asking questions and she wouldn't stop."

Haley shook her head and she twisted her hands around the bars tightly, her voice surprisingly much louder when she spoke again as if it wasn't meant solely for Brooke to hear.

"I told her stop." Haley said, anger in the words. "She wouldn't shut her damn mouth and leave me alone!"

"Shh." Brooke said to her, looking over her shoulder at the woman who'd clearly heard Haley's words and look ready to start up again.

"The guy came back when we were… He separated us, called me hostile-"

"I wonder why." The woman clipped from her spot, Brooke shooting a warning glare over her shoulder.

"He put me in here instead." Haley changed her tone again and looked down, closing her eyes and breathing slowly.

Brooke grimaced to herself, suddenly recalling how ill Haley had been before all this happened.

"Hey." She began in a near whisper, keeping as much of their conversation from being overheard as possible. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"It's not as bad as before." Haley lied, opening her eyes.

"Do you think…" she paused and lowered her voice even more. "Do you think it's got something to do with the baby? Do you think something might be wrong?"

"I don't know." She replied.

Haley hadn't admitted it out loud yet, but she was pretty sure she was actually pregnant. She knew her body and she knew something was different. She'd been trying to come to some terms of acceptance with it, but as of yet she was unable. She couldn't say it out loud for fear of the harsh reality that came with the words. If she was pregnant and she went to prison, she'd be pregnant in there. Her child would grow and develop with those surrounding stimulants. Babies heard things in utero, their parent's voices, music, what went on around them… what would the baby hear in a prison that would engrave itself into it's memory?

What sort of medical services could she get in there? What would they do for the health of the baby? How could she protect it?

If she got into a disagreement or on the wrong side of the wrong person…if things got ugly; there was too much. Too many things that could go so horribly wrong and effect the innocent life.

But worst of all, when it was time to have the baby…when he or she was brought into the world, they'd take it away from her.

Sure, they'd give it to Nathan to raise, who she trusted completely to do an amazing job as a father. But when would she be able to see it; her son or daughter? When would she be able to hold her child in her arms? Sing him to sleep; smell his head; play with his little fingers and toes.

It terrified her to no end. Worse than actually being in prison, worse than Dan finding her.

"Scott. Davis." Haley knew that voice, she felt like she'd been listening to it all day.

The girls looked at him as he came upon the area and continue speaking.

"Got a little update for you." He informed them, Brooke rose and stood immediately in front of him and noticed a red mark on his cheek as if he'd been struck or slapped. Brooke flicked her eyes to Haley wondering if it was a part of the 'hostility' that got her put alone. "Looks like you're spending the night."

"What?" Brooke asked in surprise.

"Cool, slumber party." The nameless woman spoke again

"You'll be transported back to North Carolina in the morning." He elaborated.

"The guys too?" Brooke asked.

"All of you." He answered.

He was quieter than when Brooke saw him at the motel arresting Haley. She wondered if the calmer mood had to do with whatever exchange he'd had with Haley, or maybe a consequence that followed after it. Maybe he got in trouble with his boss for the way he'd been acting. Either way, she didn't really care as long as he treated them like actual people.

"Make yourselves comfortable." He said by way of parting and left without another word.

Brooke sighed and leaned her head again a cold bar. She prayed for the night to pass quickly for them to be reunited with the guys; for everything to turn out ok. Haley on the other side of the divide, sat on the bottom bunk against the wall she shared with Brooke. Brooke followed suit, sitting on the bench again, still looking at the other girl. She put her hand through again, resting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Haley laid her own hand over it. The two friends set themselves to face the coming hours.

The night passed with a dreadful pace.

Brooke was grateful for whoever the hell it was that came and bailed out her chatty cellmate and, eventually, even the slumbering woman was roused to consciousness to leave. The drunk stumbled out without even a glance toward Brooke.

After a few hours, Haley and Brooke were the only ones remaining. Brooke decided to forego crossing the cell to the available bed and chose instead to remain at the shared wall and close to her friend. The bench was far from comfortable to lay on but the proximity it allowed them to the only sense of comfort available to either of them.

Brooke moved throughout the night, adjusting and searching with her body in minute movements in search of a position she could fall and remain asleep in. Haley, Brooke noticed, was the complete opposite. Still as a stone, she made no noticeable movements that Brooke saw. Several times, however, a noise came from the prone form. Moans and whimpers mostly; the noises rising on their own into the night air. When they came, Brooke would waken fully and attempt to offer to the sleeper as best she could. Then once Haley was silent again, Brooke stared up at the ceiling and wondered exactly how sick Haley was; if it involved the pregnancy or if it was just a coincidence.

These thoughts led her to think about Lucas. She wondered if he'd been looked at by any kind of doctor yet. She'd done the best she could for him when he got came back to the motel hurt, and yes it played a large part in bringing them to their current situation, but she was no doctor. A doctor was what he needed and he wasn't the only one.

Brooke moved her arms, her left shoulder aching as she did so, and put her hands behind her head. She sighed again.

In a few hours she'd see Lucas again. She'd see Lucas, Haley would see Nathan and they'd all be heading home. The biggest question now seemed to be what exactly was waiting for them when they got there.

X

X

X

**a/n: I know not much happened here, it was really just a transition-a-thing of sorts. In the next one we're back in tree hill where all sorts of dramas and whatnots will most definitely explode or possibly even implode.**


	23. Homecoming

**A/N: Alrighty, here we go with another fun fun installment of this adventure. I got a review that simply said "Is it over?" my answer is easy:**

"**Not yet. Not even close." :P **

**Like the cylons, I have a plan. Get the reference, get a cookie!**

**This chap is muchly long which I hope is a good thing. I think it is, I love long chapters, if it's not your cup then I apologize whilst I digress…**

* * *

"_I'm coming home, I'm coming home_

_Did you take off while I was gone?_

_I missed it all, I messed you up, I missed you_

_I'm coming home, I wanna know_

_When all the leaves begin to fall_

_If I'm falling, falling apart for you"_

'_Homecoming'_

-Hey Monday

* * *

Morning came and with it the raw reality that it hadn't been a dream. It was only a few hours after waking that all teens had been respectively told it was time to go.

Nathan wasn't sure what he'd expected, movies and television the only references he had for a situation like theirs. He walked in front of his brother, both of them again cuffed as they were led to the back of a van. He sighed, trying to keep his head and emotions clear and under control.

"Watch your step." An officer suggested; Nathan stepped up the steel and took a seat on the bench. Lucas sat down next to him a second afterwards.

The man then came before him, attacking the cuffs to the long chain attached to the van floor.

"There we go." He commented, doing the same for his brother.

"Great." Nathan retorted. "This way when we crash, at least our arms will rip out so we'll bleed to death quicker."

The man didn't acknowledge him; Lucas however looked to him exasperated.

His brother wore fresh bandages over his cuts and Nathan was happy he was able to get looked at and taken care of. The thought made Nathan look down at the back of his hands; to his bruised knuckles. He remembered the way it felt to throw them repeatedly into Dan's face. It was something he'd always remember, and would never be sorry for. Just thinking about the reason behind every swing made him clench into fists again.

The son of a bitch he had the misfortune of calling his father, had tormented his wife into doing something she would never willingly do. For all intents and purposes, he ruined her life. Nathan's current regret was that Lucas had pulled him away from the beating he was giving him.

He was brought from these thoughts when he heard more people approaching. Nathan looked out the back of the van's open doors. He saw Haley leading the way, owning his attention. She came to the van and Nathan noticed her pale coloring and shaking steps. He couldn't say for sure how much of it was due to sickness and how much was caused by fear.

"Haley." He tried to speak to her; watching her lift her eyes from the ground she walked on.

"Nathan." She answered when she saw him, letting the man beside her help her step up into the back. "Are you alright?"

Nathan nodded making note of her tired voice. He tried to assure her as found a way to worry about him even now when she was worse off. He tried a small smile as she sat across from him.

"Don't worry about me."

Haley returned the smile as best she could muster. Seeing him lifted a weight off her that she'd been aching beneath. It made everything feel a little better; look a little brighter.

She ached to hold his hand. She needed contact. She needed to feel real and anchored, fearing she would continue to feel disoriented and lost until she simply spun away. There they were, two feet from each other yet never seeming further away.

Lucas sat up straighter and seemed to attempt to move toward her. Hitting his limit of motion with a quick clang of the restraints.

"Brooke!" he said her name as he tried.

The girl's eyes lit and she said his name in response. Tears of many sorts threatening her voice. She all but hopped into the back of the vehicle, the officer with her not expecting the sudden movement. She slipped from his grip and went to Lucas. She touched her linked hands to his face.

"Lucas." She breathed, feeling as though it had been years since she'd seen or felt him. "Lucas, oh my god. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine?" he answered, bringing his hands to hers. "I'm fine. Are you?"

Before she could answer with more than a teary nod a sound interrupted her.

"Come on." The officer's voice appeared, and Lucas felt her hands slipping from his. He watched her sit across from him, being connected to the vehicle just as they were. "No funny stuff."

A moment later they were all given a mini speech about what would happen and what the rules were.

No touching. No talking. If there's a problem, address officer so and so who would be sitting in the back with them to make sure they follow said rules.

He gave a sarcastic apology for not being a big city station with a fancier ride. They'd be switching custody in about an hour and a half, from there they'd have a bus that would take them the rest of the way home.

Home?

Haley knew she wasn't going home. There was no way; at least not right away, not yet. Maybe she could when they gave her a set bail until a trial. That's how it worked, right?

As long as she paid bail she could just attempt to live a few weeks of faux normalcy with Nathan until she had to go away. They could make everything they could out of their last time together for however long it would be.

She closed her eyes as the van began to move. After a few moments of turns on the street, she felt the ride smooth out and realized they must now be on the highway. Haley opened her eyes and found Nathan watching her; his eyes a swarming kaleidoscope of emotions.

He said nothing, his eyes looking over at the man whose sole job was to sit and make sure they followed the rules. His blue eyes returned to her and he looked down at his hands. He longed to touch her; anything to comfort her. Getting a thought, he watched his hand as he turned it over on his thigh, palm up.

He looked over at her after doing so and gave a smirk; Haley found a small yet genuine smile at the gesture. She laid her own hand palm down on her side, watching Nathan softly close his and then doing the same with hers.

For a brief moment after doing so, she could almost feel his hand closed around hers. Her heart longing for it so much her mind convinced her skin she was really feeling it. She kept his eyes with hers and felt tears attempt to form in hers, mouthing to him.

'Thank you.'

He glanced again at their watchdog, weighing it in his head and heart before deciding easily that it was definitely worth doing. So he set his eyes back on Haley and spoke out loud.

"I love you."

"No talking." The man said sharply to the young man who broke the silence and the rule.

Nathan didn't move his eyes from his wife, giving her another smirk, telling her he believed it was worth it.

It took closer to two hours to get to their exchange location. They're driver and the officer riding in the passenger's seat got out to meet the small bus and the pair of officers standing beside a pair of men in suits. All the men spoke briefly; the passengers watched the interaction and the passage of a clipboard from one set of hands to the other. As they watched, Brooke spoke up.

"Anyone else feel like livestock?" she asked, attempting to hide her fear in her retort, as she watched.

"Cattle get a view when they're trucked." Lucas remarked of the lack of windows or, in the case of farm animals, air holes in the carrier. All they had were the small square windows on the vans double doors.

Nathan narrowed his eyes, recognizing the suited men, specifically the taller one holding the clipboard and currently saying something they were too far off to hear. They were the detectives going around asking everyone about his wife; looking for her. He still wasn't convinced they weren't in Dan's pocket. He glared out at them and the taller one waved a hand, gesturing for their watchdog to bring them over.

All of them were unlocked from the vehicle and led in a line over to the bus.

Lucas looked around their surroundings and then to the girls. This felt surreal; like he wasn't really doing this, maybe he was playing a part in a movie or something. That was exactly what it was like; a scene from a work of fiction. He took the steps he was led in, the man with the clipboard saying their names as they came to him and then allowing them to step onto the small bus.

When Haley was in front of him, he took a look at her.

"Haley James Scott." The detective said when she was there. Haley lifted her eyes nervously to him. "Nice to meet you. Been looking for you, little lady."

"Leave her alone." The other suggested, getting her attention and looking almost sympathetic. "Go ahead and take a seat."

Haley was about to do so when a question came to her and she bit her lip a moment in nervousness before quietly directing her question to the one whom at least seemed the nicer of the two.

"Anywhere?" she asked unsure.

Bettis didn't understand for a moment what she was asking him but as he cast his eyes up to the window to see the dark haired teen watching from the window, he knew what the question was. He gave her a small nod in response and let her go up the steps.

The detective sighed and thought about Dan Scott. The man he'd agreed to help in return for money. It seemed simply enough at the start. Slip him information as they got it trying to find this girl. He did so easily. After all he had a wife of his own to take care of, that plus his enormous debt that was keeping them from being able to buy a house of their own. It was an easy solution.

Seemed that way.

Until he began really looking into who this girl was as he tried to find her. Speaking to family, friends, teachers, schoolmates…

He began feeling uneasy about it then, an inkling of doubt or guilt seeding in his mind. But it was when he actually had the rock solid information for him that the felt he was doing the wrong thing, and that his benefits weren't worth it. But this cemented it.

Now, upon meeting this girl, he felt even worse. She appeared in front of him, this criminal, target of hatred and vengeance of Dan Scott's…and she was just that. A girl. A small scared girl.

She was clearly terrified and he even thought she might be getting sick. He couldn't imagine the girl he just met being anything vicious, but then again, he'd seen a lot of people do a lot of things in his time serving as a law enforcer.

Who knew?

It wasn't very common that detectives would take part in transfers, but he'd been adamant that he be there; citing that it was their case, his and his partner's, and they were going to be involved in every step of it. That's what he said, but the truth was something else; he wanted to get himself a look at Haley Scott as soon as possible.

Now he'd seen her, heard her voice, and felt guiltier than ever for having any part in any of the underhanded things Dan had been planning. He wondered if the man had gotten close to them; if he'd been too late to interfere before the man attempted to get a piece of that revenge he wanted to deeply.

True he'd seen unexpected things from unexpected people, but he gave a lot of credit to his instincts…and right now then his gut was telling him this girl was no killer. He would talk to her once back in Tree Hill, along with everyone else.

He recalled her husband declaring that something else had to have happened to make her do it. Perhaps he could find out whether or not he was right in his assumption. He could find out the truth; finally know what happened that day.

"Alright," he said with a sigh signing the paper securing the transfer. "Let's go. We got a long ride ahead of us."

* * *

Haley felt her heart swell to explode as she walked the narrow aisle towards Nathan. He kept his eyes on her every movement as she approached. Their gazes connected, she lowered herself to the empty spot on the bench seat beside him. Nathan didn't wait a moment, as soon as she was next to him, he grabbed her hands with both of his. Their wrists clinked together as their respective bracelets touched He felt her squeeze him tightly, tighter perhaps then he'd ever felt her do before.

Nathan leaned closer, pressing his lips to her head and talking centimeters from her face. So close she could feel his breath hit her skin.

"I don't want you to get in trouble." He said though he was incredibly thrilled to feel her, he didn't want to risk any extra punishment for her.

Haley shook her head, pressing her forehead against his. She took her hands from his and moved them to his face. Touching his cheeks, she spoke as tears fell quietly.

"I won't." she promised. "I won't. I asked, it's ok."

Nathan then pressed a kiss to her lips, tasting her tears on her mouth.

"I love you." He said again.

She breathed heavily and replied.

"I love you, too." She answered, almost whispering. "Nathan, I love you so much. Whatever happens-"

"It's going to be fine." He swore. "I don't know how, but I know it will."

He looped his linked hands over her head and she leaned into his chest as he held her in as good an embrace as he could manage.

Brooke watched the couple from her spot and her heart ached for them. But she then took action for that heart and rose, moving quickly to the seat behind her where her boyfriend sat. They hadn't been sure if it would be allowed, but after witnessing Haley take the chance Brooke knew she had to do it too. She instantly leaned into him, hands grasping the chest of his shirt as he leaned his cheek on top of her head.

They said nothing and soon the officer all entered, the door creaking as it slid closed.

"Ok." A man in a suit began, the only one who hadn't taken a seat yet. "It's a long ride back so let's make it as painless as possible. Don't make trouble, won't be any trouble. Simple as that. Questions? Alright, here we go."

He sat and the bus whined as its brakes released and they began to move.

* * *

Nathan suddenly jerked his head up, taking in a quick intake of air. He looked around and realized he'd been asleep. Turning to look out the window, he saw the dark color of the night sky overshadowing the world.

He inhaled deeply, waking his body and remembering he wasn't alone. His eyes cast to his shoulder where his wife's head rested lazily. She was still asleep; he was thankful for it. Nathan wasn't sure what time it was, but he wasn't going back to sleep. He leaned his cheek on her hair and heard her sigh. He furrowed his brow as he felt the heat coming from her.

He cast his eyes to the side and saw Lucas and Brooke fast asleep amidst one another. He next looked up ahead at the front of the ride. Clearing his throat, he swallowed his disdain for them and the trouble the men had had a hand in causing, speaking up. Enough to be heard but hopefully not enough to disturb those sleeping.

"Excuse me." He began to get their attention. Every one of them turned towards him and he continued. "How much longer?"

"Not long." The one he remembered speaking to at Tric the day he left town answered. The man then got up and came over to stand in the aisle before him. "Everything ok?"

"Peachy." Nathan retorted cynically at the stupid question. The man nodded and turned to leave when Nathan sighed and spoke again without the tone. "She's sick."

The detective came back to stand again at Nathan's words.

"What kind of sick?" he asked him.

"The sick kind." He answered, again sarcastic.

"I meant, is it a condition? Something serious?" he asked, not having come across anything of the sort in her file during the investigation.

"No." he shook his head. "She hasn't been sick before; not like this I mean."

"It's bad?" he asked.

Nathan silently debated whether or not he should mention the possible pregnancy. He didn't know if she wanted people to know until she knew for sure. He'd make the choice if it became necessary.

"I think so." Nathan answered.

"We'll see about getting a doctor once we're back." He promised, then sighed and continued. "Listen, I don't know what you're expecting to happen when we get there… but the four of you will have to be kept until we can get a judge to see you and set a bail. It's not gonna be like your little drunk arrests where you get a number right away, pay it and be home that night. These are serious crimes; you'll have to wait for an arraignment."

"How long will that take?" Nathan asked, unconsciously squeezing his sleeping wife's hand. The man shrugged in response.

"Hours, sometimes days." He answered. "The three of you will most likely be alright."

"Haley" Nathan asked worriedly.

"She was wanted for attempted murder and she fled the state…You have to accept the very real possibility that she'll be in custody until trial." He answered.

Nathan's jaw tightened and he looked away from the man. The dismissal was received and the man left.

It wasn't much longer that they pulled to a stop at their destination. Nathan remained awake the entire time; too concerned with thoughts about being separated from Haley again.

The other suited man, the one Nathan hadn't talked with, stood and spoke in a big voice.

"Rise and shine." He stated, rousing the passengers.

Brooke and Lucas jerked in surprise. Brooke looked around and realized what it meant that they were at their destination. All the emotions she'd been suppressing were attempting to overwhelm her.

"Lucas." She said his name, gripping him tightly.

"I know." He whispered trying to comfort her. He didn't want to be away from her again. "It's gonna be ok. It won't be long. This will all be over soon."

They were once again marched in a line, off the bus and into the building.

"Alright," a man behind a desk stood up to greet them. He pointed in one direction then in another towards a female officer. "Guys…Dolls."

Brooke lost her thinly painted demeanor of bravery; she began shaking her head as they led them in separate directions.

"No." she said and spun around reaching desperately for her boyfriend. "No, Lucas."

She was able to grasp his fingers and felt him close them around hers as best he could for the moment of contact before she was pulled away all too easily. All the fear and nervousness building within her the last weeks seemed to burst forth all at once; the impending separation from Lucas acting as a catalyst.

"No. No, stop!" she hollered, fighting to get away from the arms holding her back and get to Lucas. "Lucas. Lucas!"

The blonde's heart shattered, watching her breakdown in front of him. He wanted to reach for her; help her. But he couldn't do it without encouraging the display, possibly getting her in more trouble.

"Brooke." He tried to calm her, his voice wavering as she began disappearing down the hall though her voice still reached his ears; still called his name. He tried to raise his voice enough for her to hopefully hear him. "It's ok. It'll be ok"

* * *

The girls were separated again from the guys, this time Haley had barely the time to make eye contact with Nathan. The officers hurrying them along now on account of Brooke's outburst.

The handcuffs were gone for the first time since she got up that morning. Her wrists were sore and she was ready to collapse. A set of orange clothing was put in her free hands. She had to change in front of a silent and very intimidating woman; her hands shaking the entire time.

After that a thin folded blanket and pillow were thrust into her arms and she walked behind the same woman. She looked around her, wondering where Brooke was. She couldn't see her, and hadn't heard her. She hoped they were kept near each other if not in the same space. Brooke had been a dynamic comfort over the last few weeks. Even during the worst of it, when Haley was shoving her or yelling at her, Brooke was always trying to help her; make her feel better. Even after being arrested, Brooke had been nearby.

She followed the woman as she began to hear voices and knew that they were reaching where she'd be staying the night, possibly longer. She didn't want to get in anymore trouble like she did with that nosey woman in the cell. She tightly gripped the blanket an attempt to halt the quivering in her hands as her throat and mouth only got dryer.

The voices got louder and Haley knew they must be incredibly close. Just like that they were in front of a large cell that held several women within it. Haley paused when she saw it, searching the faces for her roommate.

"Let's go." The voice commanded harshly, confusing Haley. She looked from the woman to the cell then back again.

"But…" she looked back toward the door again.

The woman she had been following came back toward her, grabbing her elbow and pulling her along.

"This isn't your stop." The woman said, continuing before Haley would ask what was going on. "We don't need any trouble in there."

"Trouble?" she asked confused still.

Haley didn't want trouble either. But she just wanted to lie down and get through the rest of the night and whatever piece of morning she'd have to face in there. Her head gave a specifically sharp pound as they walked. Haley suddenly thought about what the woman must mean.

"No that, that wasn't –"

"Listen I don't care what happened. Why you fought or whatever." She interrupted bringing Haley to a door. "But it's not gonna happen here."

Haley looked at the door; it was almost half window, with a group of small holes in the center. She assumed it was for easy communication through the door, but a part of her couldn't help but compare it to air holes punched into the lid of a cardboard box. The printed numbers on the door panel read 514. Through the window she could see the pale white of the room and the mattress inside. The woman unlocked the door and opened it, ushering Haley inside.

She looked around and turned back to the woman before she closed the door.

"I'm not gonna cause any problems." Haley promised, her voice shaking. "Can I just, Can I go in there with the others." She looked down at the blanket in her hands and looked back up, her voice almost a whisper. "I can't be in here like this. I can't be alone."

The woman said nothing and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Haley's arms went heavy and she dropped the bundle in her arms to the floor by her feet, going quickly to the door and pressing her hands against the window as she tried to talk.

"Wait." She pleaded. "Wait! Please, don't."

The woman was gone and Haley was staring out at a stoic gray wall across from her window. She put her shaking hands through her hair and turned away, trying to get ahold of herself. She covered her mouth then and tried to hold back the tears that were coming, wondering if there would ever be a point when there'd simply be no more tears to cry. Would it be possible to run out?

Haley wondered this as she went to the bed curled on to her side. She stretched her arm to the floor, blindly feeling until her fingertips found the fabric of the blanket. She gripped it, pulling it half-heartedly to her. Holding it to her chest as something to clutch to rather than to cover herself with.

Her wet eyes looked out at the blank room and she wondered with a stab of hopelessness in her heart if this was what the rest of her life would be like.

X

X

X


	24. Ten Thousand Words

**A/N: Many million apologies for the delay. But what can I say that I haven't said already? Really it's all just the same stuff…you know, life. Anyhoo, here we are, furthering the plight of our heroes and heroines...PRETTY LONG ONE.**

* * *

"_And I know you need me in _

_The next room over_

_But I am stuck in here_

_All paralyzed."_

'_Ten Thousand Words'_

-The Avett Brothers

* * *

The ringing invaded he rear through the speaker.

She squeezed her hand around the phone as it rang again. Brooke placed her freed hand on the base of the phone attached to the plain white wall in front of her. Her eyes went sideways, glancing at the woman in uniform supervising and waiting for her to finish and take her back. Fresh tears threatened to follow the same stained path on her cheeks as the phone rang yet again.

She took a breath, feeling the weight of everything all over again; it was too much take without breaking apart completely, and she was well on her way. She hated herself for how she acted; losing it like she had in front of everyone. She was disgusted that she'd let Lucas see her that way…and Haley. All the time she'd spent trying to assure her everything would be alright, and Brooke went and fell apart in front of her.

Another ring echoed and the tears began to slip out. This was her second attempt since arriving to make the very call.

"Davis." The man's voice finally broke through and she cried again in relief.

"Daddy." She said in a teary exhale of breath.

"Brooke?" her father questioned not expecting it to be his daughter on the other end of his phone.

"Yeah, it's me." She said, somehow smiling. "Daddy, I need you. I'm, um, I'm in some trouble…I don't know if you've heard-"

"Are you kidding me?" he interrupted. "Of course I've heard. It's all over the news, I've had police show up at work…do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to try closing a deal when all the clients are thinking about is my criminal daughter?"

"Daddy, please-" she tried in a cry but her father continued.

"You've done stupid things before, Brooke, but this is easily the most irresponsible, ridiculous of them all. It reflects horribly on me and your mother and any business I do." He berated his only child.

Brooke turned her back to the woman watching and tried to control the steady flow of droplets from her eyes.

"Daddy." She pleaded, once more in a broken whisper.

The man on the phone sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair and running a hand along the length of his jaw.

"You were arrested." He half-asked, coming to the conclusion that it was why she was calling.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Fantastic." He murmured. "That'll look great."

Brooke squeezed the phone tighter, doing all she could to not start bawling right there on the phone. He cleared his throat and continued.

"How much do you need?"

'I don't know. I mean, not yet. I won't for a few hours." She informed him. "I tried to call earlier-"

"Ok. So what is it you need then?" he asked, since it wasn't money she was calling for. "A lawyer?"

"No, that's not why I called." She told him. "They said they'll give me a lawyer."

"A public defender isn't the same." He stated cynically. "I'll send our attorney over; he'll take care of everything. He's got the account information; he'll pay whatever is set. Don't worry about it."

"Daddy, please listen to me." She spoke in a stronger voice.

"What is it Brooke? You said you needed my help."

"No." she disagreed. "I said I needed _you_."

"I don't understand." He answered.

"I just…Can I see you?" she asked. "You and Mom…could you come?"

"Brooke, honey, I'm in meetings all day; your mother's in Manhattan all afternoon."

Brooke felt her head spin and leaned forward to rest it on the wall.

"Dad this is more important, isn't it?" she pleaded with her father. "Can't you reschedule? Please."

She heard him sigh again and knew she'd wasted a phone call.

"I'll come as soon as I can." He began. "But I can't promise when that'll be."

Brooke put her hand to her mouth, not willing to let him hear her cry anymore. After a few moments of silence, he spoke again.

"I've got to go." He told her. "I'll call Roger; he'll be there soon to take care of you."

Brooke felt a surge of anger seep into her sorrow and stated.

"Don't bother."

* * *

Lucas sat in the room, waiting alone a few minutes before the door opened and his visitors were able to enter.

He rose and immediately the two came quickly towards him.

"Lucas!" he felt his mother wrap her arms tightly around him. He returned it tightly, clenching his jaw to keep his emotions under control.

"Mom." He breathed out. "God, I've missed you so much. Both of you."

Keith stepped in when Karen let go and embraced him as well. Once they all parted, Karen surprised her son by swatting him on the side of the head. Too hard to be playful, yet not hard enough to do any damage.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she asked loudly.

"I know you're upset."

"Upset?" she repeated. "Lucas, we didn't know where you were, if you were ok…the police were watching us, keeping tabs, and all the stories and talk…Do you realize how terrified we were?"

"I'm sorry." He replied sincerely. "I never wanted to hurt you guys, I was just trying to help."

"Help?" she repeated, tears in her eyes. "Lucas, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? _All_ of you."

Lucas threw his hands up and answered.

"I know, ok?" he said, clearly upset by how the visit was going. "I thought…I just wanted to protect her. She showed up at my door and she-she wouldn't tell me what happened. But I know, I _know_ it's something. Something big, and she's hiding it from me. You guys know Haley, you've known her as long as I have. So you know the same as I do, this doesn't add up. What they're saying…she wouldn't just do something like this."

Karen tilted her head to the side and stepped forward towards him again. She put her hand on his shoulder and briefly looked to Keith who'd remained silent so far, giving the mother her time to talk. The adults exchanged looks before the woman returned her focus to her son.

"Of course we know that." She answered softly. "We love Haley, too. But this was not the way to help her."

"Have you seen her yet?" he asked.

"No, but we will." she answered. "I don't know how much they're telling you about everyone else but…Nathan and Brooke, they've got hearings today too."

Lucas nodded, taking it in and then asking. "Haley?"

The adults shared a look again and Karen pressed her lips together, allowing Keith to be the one to tell him.

"Listen Luke, the um, the docket for today is full so it's not gonna happen today, and with the weekend…" he cleared his throat. "But she's first up on Monday."

At the news Lucas looked away, glancing up at the ceiling and swallowing at the lump in his throat.

"Monday. She can't…" His voice a slight whisper, then put his hand to his forehead. He took a breath and returned his gaze to the two of them. "I don't know how to…Haley's, um…while we were gone, she's been acting …strange."

"What do you mean?" Keith asked.

"She's, I don't know, she's not herself. She would lose her temper, shouting and cursing and lashing out, like violently; she'd forget things. Where we were, why we were there, things that happened…I don't know, I think it's the stress over what happened; like keeping it to herself like she is, is driving her crazy. Maybe you can try talking to her." He suggested. "If she tells you what happened with Dan, maybe, maybe you can get her to tell them and they'll realize that she needs help not jail."

"I'll talk to her, Lucas. Don't worry about her." Karen assured him. "Your hearing's in an hour. We brought you a suit and we're gonna be sitting right behind you. Each of you, and we're all going home together."

Lucas nodded and Keith took another turn to speak.

"We love you, Luke." He said to him in the way a father would to his son. "We're proud of you for your intentions. Despite everything else, I know your heart was in the right place. Your mother's right, we're going to take you home. And trust me they'll be some punishment on our end for what happened, but …we'll worry about that later. It's not what matters right now, ok?"

They hugged once more, tighter than before and the couple whispered their love to him again before parting with wet eyes to leave the room.

"Mom." He spoke up before she could leave. "If you can, will you go to Brooke too? Last time I saw her…she needs some assurance that's gonna be ok. Tell her that I'm ok and that I love her, please."

Karen nodded with a small smile and forced herself to leave her son behind in the room.

* * *

Nathan left the room, shoving through the double doors and roughly jerking at his tie to loosen it hoping to release the choking pressure it seemed to have on him.

He wasn't even supposed to have gone before the judge just yet, but there was some sort of change in the schedule and he got moved up. So it was just like that; two nights in a cell, a hefty check from his mom, some fancy new ankle-wear for the next year and boom…it was over. He could go home.

He couldn't believe it was that easy. He knew it wouldn't be the same for Haley. All he wanted, more than anything, was to sit at home with his wife and put all this behind them like it never happened. Looking behind him, he saw the court officer who would be taking him to get his monitor fitted and set up. Nathan nodded at him, he'd go with him easily, he didn't care. He'd have to make sure they knew he was planning to come to everyone's hearing, that the address their little computers would be seeing him at wouldn't be his family's house, but his wife's apartment.

After a moment, he felt a hand on his shoulder and then his mother was wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back a moment before letting go and looking around again.

"I'm surprised Dan didn't show up." He commented. "I was sure he'd come here to gloat."

"I'd really rather not talk about your father right now, Nathan." She said with a sigh, it was Dan that brought them here. He was the reason she just had to sit, nervous and terrified, while a judge decided what would be done with her only child.

"I need you to do me a favor." He stated.

"What is it?" she asked.

Nathan looked over at the officer who was watching him and gesturing for him to come. The younger man nodded again, holding his hand up to inform him it would just be a second.

"I want you to get a lawyer for Haley." He told her. "A good one; the best you can find. I'll pay you back, no matter how long it takes, but I _need_ you to do it for her; for me. Will you?"

"Of course." She responded. "As soon as we're done here."

They walked to where they were being beckoned by security.

"Nathan1' they both turned at the familiar voice that called to him loudly and saw Peyton rushing immediately starting to ask questions as she reached them. "What's going on? Did I miss it? I thought-"

"The schedule changed." Deb spoke up to inform her.

"Oh man." Peyton said. She couldn't believe she'd missed being there for her friend. Had she missed everyone else's too? "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. What-What happened?"

"I'll fill you in later." Nathan told her. "I've gotta go."

"Wait, Brooke and Haley and –"

"Not yet." Deb put her at ease.

"Can you go see her?" he asked Peyton. "I don't know how long I'll be, can you make sure she's ok?"

"Yeah." She nodded fiercely. "Yeah, I'll go now."

Nathan watched her hurry off before sighing. His mom's hand gently ushered him forward so they could get it over with.

* * *

Haley was lying on the bed, curled up facing the wall with her arms wrapped around her stomach. Her night had been full of fitful sleep and a trip to the corner to throw up. She was grateful for the privacy at that point, as she stumbled away from the bed in the middle of the night.

She hadn't gone back to sleep since then; after the nightmare she'd had. It started out wonderful. She'd had her baby, a beautiful little boy and Nathan was at her side through the whole thing. But when the doctor handed him to Nathan, it wasn't Nathan anymore. Instead she saw Dan, holding her baby with that same smile he'd given her that day. She'd screamed and screamed for someone to stop him, but no one listened and he simply walked away with her child. When she tried to follow, a wall of bars stopped her and she couldn't do anything but scream and watch them leave.

It was the worst dream she'd ever had. The terror had been so real, she woke shaking, unable to catch her breath for the longest time. Now she was staring at the wall, trying to think of anything else but that feeling; trying not to let sleep overtake her again.

There was a sound that interrupted the dead silence of her space. She didn't move to acknowledge it until it came a second time, a bit harsher. She flinched at the sound, and turned her head towards the source of the knocking. She saw the woman who brought over, taking a moment to sit on the edge of the bed to fight off the wave of dizziness that came from the movement. She stood and approached the half glass door. Even she couldn't believe how tired her voice sounded when she spoke.

"Yes?" she asked, knowing it couldn't be time yet for her hearing unless she'd spaced longer than it seemed; a lot longer.

"Some people here to see you." She informed her.

"Who?" she asked, putting a hand to her head. She didn't call anyone, not wanting them to see her there.

The woman shrugged and put her keys in the door.

"Some people." She answered vaguely, not having the visitors log with her. "Turn around, take three steps toward the wall and put your hands behind your head."

Haley did as she was told. Pressing her lips together as she heard the tumblers move and the door open. She felt the presence behind her and hands grabbing her wrist, followed by the now familiar bracelet circle it. The woman turned her around and clamped the other one, effectively linking her hands together in front of her.

"Do you have to?" Haley asked, trying to keep her tears from falling.

"Yes." She answered without much emotion. "Let's go."

"And Haley walked with her, passing through a different part of the building towards, she had to assume, the visiting area. She was disappointed that she wouldn't be going the same way they'd come. She hoped to get a glance at Brooke, needing to see she was alright. Or at least, better than she'd been when Haley had last seen her.

They came to a stop outside a gray door and opened it. As soon as they did, Haley immediately felt tears begin producing even stronger.

Karen and Peyton sat at the table, Keith standing behind them. Their eyes widened when she entered and she immediately wished she'd known they were coming. She would've tried cleaning herself up a bit, try to soften what she knew was a less than easy appearance.

She let herself be guided to the chair opposite them. She was more than a little disappointed that there seemed to be no intention to remove the cuffs. Was she really that much of a risk? Embarrassed, she put her hands in her lap and out of sight.

"Haley." She heard Karen say her name and her eyes rose to look at her across the table. "Oh honey."

"Hi." Haley answered quietly not looking up from the table right away. "What are you guys doing here? Not that it's not good to see you…"

"We wanted to see how you're holding up." Karen said, "Everyone's concerned about you, sweetie."

Haley didn't respond or lift her eyes and Peyton leaned forward to put her elbows on the table. She brought her voice to the room and spoke.

"I brought you a cake, but for some reason the nail file filling is a no-no." she tried to joke, getting a half heart smile from the girl who finally raised her head.

"Thanks you guys." She answered. "I'm fine."

"You don't have to lie." She heard Keith speak up. "We know it's hard; it's ok to be scared or worried."

Haley looked at him nervously, her hidden hands squirming within her own hold. She could feel them shaking again beyond her ability to stop it.

"Are you mad?" she asked, "Do you hate me?"

"What?" he asked, surprised. "Why would you ask that; that's ridiculous."

"Dan." She replied, looking down again. "He's you brother, and I…now Lucas and Nathan are in trouble too, because of me." She glanced up to the blonde. "Brooke too."

"Don't worry about any of that." Keith declared passionately. "All that matters is that _you_ know we love you. You hear me? NO matter what happened or happens, we love you and we're behind you. Ok? Always."

Haley's mind kicked to Nathan. Always and forever.

How was he doing? Was he still there?

Haley nodded and ran her fingers under her eye to keep the stealthy tears from traveling any further. She took a shaking breath and Karen took a quick look at Keith before speaking carefully.

"Haley, " the older woman began. "While we're mentioning it…could you tell us, if you can, what _did_ happen?"

Haley's eyes widened a bit at the question, though it shouldn't have surprised her. Everyone would want to know what went down. The whole story. She put her elbows on the table, forgetting her intent to keep her handcuffs out of view, and put her head in her hands. She took another breath with her head down, feeling her lungs shudder. The others in the room all wore similar looks of concern as they gazed at her.

Peyton looked at the other two before taking it upon herself; she stretched a long over the table. Her hand went to the girl's forearm, holding it for barely a moment before Haley jerked and looked up. The blonde took the action in surprise and asked.

"Haley, what happened?" she asked with more strength than what Karen used.

"Could you do me a favor?" Haley asked quietly. Peyton sighed, realizing she wasn't answering, while Karen answered.

"Anything."

"Could you just…Can you tell my parents that-that I'm ok? That you saw me and I'm fine." She asked. "They've probably heard about me being here by now."

"You haven't talked to them?" Karen asked in surprise and Haley shook her head.

"I haven't called." Haley answered in an almost whisper. "If I do, they'll want to come and I…I don't want them to."

"Haley-"

"I _don't_ want them to see me in here, like this." She interrupted, looking down as she spoke. "I didn't want anybody to."

"Haley, you can't pull away. Not right now." The older woman spoke wisely. "This is too much for you to take on alone. You need support and the people who love you want to give it to you."

Haley looked at the circles around her wrists and spoke again with a voice thick with tears.

"There's one more thing." She began, taking a heavy breath. "After the hearing…When I go to prison-"

"Haley." Peyton protested immediately but Haley forced herself to go on.

"I need to you guys to stay away." She tearfully finished. "Don't visit me; and tell Nathan the same."

This time it was Karen who tried to speak up with moisture in her eyes. However Peyton was now the one interrupting, speaking up right away.

"No way." She disagreed, shaking her head fiercely. "No way in hell."

Haley opened her mouth but was halted by the upbeat sound coming from Keith's pocket. The man sighed with a sense of foreboding. It was the alarm he'd set.

"Lucas' hearing starts in a few minutes." He stated to the room.

The blonde didn't look to either of the adults when she spoke; keeping her eyes on her friend.

"You guys go ahead." She suggested, mind set on staying behind to talk to Haley privately.

After a moment and words of love and departure, Haley found herself alone with Peyton. She kept her eyes on her hands for a few silent moments then asked.

"I guess I have to get arrested to get you to stop hating me, huh?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asked her.

"It's just since I got back from the tour…" Haley trailed off when she saw the look of confusion on the other girl's face.

She put the tips of her fingers on either temple for a moment and looked down. If Peyton didn't understand what Haley was talking about, maybe she'd forgotten again. She took a breath and looked up at Peyton, her lips quivered slightly as she asked out loud.

"Are we ok, again?" she asked, fearful. "_Have _we been ok?"

Peyton nodded, wringing her hands together anxiously.

"Well, yeah." She answered, nodding again. "For a little while."

Haley took a quick breath after hearing the information, and tilted her head to look up. Swallowing hard, she redirected her eyes back to the blonde.

"How?" she asked shakily, her voice breaking slightly as she spoke. "I mean, what happened?"

"Haley," Peyton asked, her voice wavering with uncertainty. "why are you asking me this? What's wrong? Do you really not remember?"

She watched her take an unsteady breath before answering quietly.

"I …forget sometimes."

"Haley," Peyton began desperately. "what happened?"

"I-" the door opened suddenly and a man walked in briskly with purposeful steps.

"Don't answer that." He said curtly.

Both sets of eyes went to him as he came to drop his bag on the table.

"Who the hell are you?" Peyton asked defensively.

"I'm the guy who's going to save your friend's ass." He stated, looking at the girls with confidence and finishing his entrance with an introduction. "My name is Martin Veil, and I'm going to ask you to leave now."

"Wait a second, you can't just-"

"You want me to help your friend or not?" he asked right away.

Peyton hardened her glare and set her jaw, ready to guy a piece of her mind. But she saw Haley look at her and shake her head slightly, enough to tell Peyton not to lose her temper. The blonde sighed and rose from the table, laying her hand on Haley's shoulder as she passed her chair, giving it a squeeze.

When Haley was alone with the stranger, she looked at him with a curious confusion.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't call for-"

"I know you didn't." he interrupted again, his words sounding clipped. "That doesn't change the fact that I was called and paid a substantial fee to take your case."

"I don't understand." She spoke uncertainly.

He sat across from her and leaned back in his chair casually, though his fast paced words fell out with the same sharpness he'd been using since appearing in the room.

"Well there's only one thing you need to understand so listen up sweetheart, because I'm only going to say this once. Anything you need to say; any thought no matter how trivial that pops into your head about anything or anyone involved in this case, you sat to me and me alone." He informed her strictly. "Say nothing to anyone else. As of this moment, I am your father, your mother, your best friend and your priest; you get me?"

"I, um, I guess so." She replied, still unsure with the intimidating man. He sighed in what almost seemed like annoyance with her answer.

"Fantastic." He commented dryly, then sat up straight and looked at her. "You're smart right? Got yourself a fancy 4.0?"

She nodded quickly, feeling increasingly inferior in his confident, demanding presence.

"Great." He stated, pointing a finger at her and giving a slight smirk. "Now let's put those brains to work."

"You really think you can help me?" she asked, afraid to get her hopes up. "That I can go home?"

"In time for that cap and gown."

His remark was somewhere in the blurred area of confidence and arrogance, but she didn't try to decipher it just yet. She just wanted to hope for something, and here it was in front of her in a suit and tie, promising her that which she wanted more desperately than anything else. He sat up straighter, opening his case and pulling out a folder.

"Ready?"

She nodded.

"Alrighty, let's start at the beginning then."

x

x

* * *

**A/N: Martin Veil is a borrowed character of Richard Gere's from the movie Primal Fear. (I'm pretty sure that was the movie he was in) Anyway, I loved his father, mother, priest, speech that he gave his client in the movie and decided I wanted that sort of person/personality for this case! **


	25. Miracle

**A/N: Here we go! Hope you guys are excited for this! Not much to say other than I'm watching the Glee prom episode and cracking up at them using that horrendous "Friday" song…oh god why?**

**Anyway, off we go!**

* * *

"_Hands on a miracle_

_I got my hands on a miracle_

_And there ain't no way _

_That you'll take it away"_

'_Miracle'_

-Foo Fighters

* * *

The man across from her looked down at his paper, reading over the notes he'd made while she answered his questions. He also noted the pauses within the story. He couldn't decide if she'd been searching for details or if they were points of the story she was choosing to leave out and edit. She stuttered a lot, and hid her hands from view, though he could tell they were nervously moving about beneath the table. When she was done, she swallowed and waited for him to say something or ask her another question. After a moment he clicked his tongue and spoke up.

"So from what you've told me, "he began. "Your father in law found you in his son's bed au natural and made some less than gentlemanly comments. You high tailed it away so fast you forgot your phone. You went back for it and when you got there he had a gun and said some more 'comments'. He makes you uncomfortable."

"Very." Haley nodded with a whisper.

"_Very _uncomfortable." He edited the story with her input and continued. "So much so that you worry maybe he'll go a step too far. He puts down the gun; you pick it up and down goes Mr. Mayor."

Haley nodded again.

"But…" he started again, leaning forward on the table. "You say you don't remember actually shooting him?"

"No." Haley replied quietly; realizing he probably thought she was lying. "I know how it sounds-"

"Listen to me." He interrupted, dropping his pen onto the table. "I don't care if that's true or not. What I care about is how well you can stand by your story. Because once I build this defense it's gonna be rock solid…as long as you don't start stuttering over lies and stories."

"It's true." She told him.

"Alright." He stood up. "I'm the prosecutor, you're on the stand. You tell me you don't remember shooting him. Go on, say it."

"What?" she asked confused a moment. Her head was hurting and his fast talking ways didn't help.

"Tell the prosecutor you don't remember shooting Dan Scott."

"I don't remember shooting Dan Scott." She repeated, ready to call this meeting quits.

"How very convenient Mrs. Scott." He replied in a booming voice, putting his hands on the table and leaning over her. "What exactly _do_ you remember?"

"I, um-"

"We're waiting Mrs. Scott." He goaded still in character.

"Th-the sound." She spoke quietly.

"The what?" he asked loudly.

"The sound of the shot." Haley elaborated, trying to give her voice more strength. "I remember, I remember hearing it and um, smelling the smoke or powder from the gun. I don't remember firing but I know I did. When I got, I don't know, back to myself I guess, I saw him fall and saw the gun in my hand."

Veil stood up straight once again after her answer. He looked at her as if inspired by something and quickly scribbled something on his notepad that she couldn't see, then began shoving his things in his bag.

"_That_ is a very good answer." He said as he did so.

"Where-" she tried to ask where he was going but was once again cut off.

"Remember what I said." He suggested. "Anything you have to say…"

Haley nodded and watched him knock on the door to signal he was ready to leave.

"Great." He spoke again at a fast speed. "Get some sleep, I'll be back tomorrow."

His sudden departure left Haley sitting behind confused. She could only assume that something she said gave him an idea that could help her. When she realized the officer was coming inside the room to take her back, she wished she could take back what she said about not wanting anyone to see her. If she had more visitors, she wouldn't have to go back yet.

Back to that room, all alone with her scrambled thoughts.

It was selfish, but she didn't care. It had been a front; telling them that. Sure it was better for them, she told herself, to not have to see her in handcuffs and orange jumpers becoming increasingly frazzled as time passed. She knew it would hurt them to see her that way…but she didn't care at the moment as she faced the reality of going back to the room – cell.

She needed Nathan.

She needed him so badly.

Was he still locked up, or had he been able to go yet? Would he listen to what she told them to say?

Peyton didn't sound like she planned to tell him what she said.

"Stand up." The voice told her, interrupting her train of thought.

After wiping her eyes and sniffling once, she did as she was told. Haley almost immediately felt the hand on her shoulder instructing her to start going. They were almost out of the room when a voice came from nowhere. Haley flinched at the sudden sound and realized it came from her escort's radio. The woman replied into it and waited for the response that quickly came.

"Scott still at visitors?" it asked.

"Leaving now; lawyer just took off." She answered.

"Stay put. There's someone else coming your way."

Haley felt new tears come overhearing the words, these ones of relief. The woman in uniform sighed and Haley wondered for a moment how she came to do this job. Did she want this for herself? Taking criminals back and forth, to and from cells all day.

"Alright." She answered and gestured for Haley to sit back down, commenting. "Popular, aren't you?"

Haley didn't respond, she was too relieved to not have to go back yet. She fidgeted her quivering hands on the table; waiting anxiously, hoping…praying whoever it was would come quickly.

The door was left open, allowing Haley to crane her neck looking for her visitor. Her heart sped up as she heard footsteps, one set more rapid than the other. Each beat in her chest mirrored the rushing steps until a frame entered the space of the doorway.

Now more tears when she saw him.

His eyes found hers and she clasped a hand over her mouth as a sob came loose. He came to her three long steps as she rose again. Her face smashed into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her body. Enveloped in him, she cried into his chest with her restrained hands clutching the fabric of his shirt.

"Nathan."

It was all she could manage to say. Her voice muffled by the tight embrace. When she spoke he pressed her harder against him, his cheek in her hair as he held her.

He didn't say anything.

He didn't need to. She just needed him to hold her, and he seemed to know that. Because he knew that; because he held her so strongly against him, Haley couldn't help but let her sobs break loose into her husband.

Nathan felt her shake in his arms, felt his shirt dampen with the tears she cried into him. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat as she held her tight. His heart beat with relief of holding her while simultaneously shattering at the same time.

They told him he could only stay a half an hour; it wasn't long enough. It would never be long enough. But he would take everything he could get, even if it meant they didn't say a word to each other.

If every second he had with her was spent holding her as she cried against him, than that's what he would do…let her.

* * *

Brooke let out a breath as she exited the large room.

Lucas' arm was around her waist as they walked out. She'd never been as happy to see him as she was when she was brought into the courtroom and saw him there behind the divider.

If he was able to be there, it meant he was ok. He wasn't locked away far from reach; he was there just feet from her. He sat between Karen – Keith on the other side of her – and Peyton, whose father was beside her. She was ready to cry at seeing him, seeing all of them there for her.

Although she couldn't _not_ notice who wasn't there.

But it didn't matter now because she was out. A hefty fine and a hell of a lot of community service. She doubted they'd have her serving the same assignments as Lucas, but she'd survive it. It was all starting to finally clear up; her, Lucas, Nathan…all that remained to close it all behind the past's door was Haley.

Now that they were out, she turned to Lucas and wrapped her arms around him, feeling him do the same. He was saying some soft words into her hair, but she didn't hear what they were. All she knew was they were there being said; there was comfort tin that fact alone no matter the details.

He released her only so she could be swept into another embrace. Tighter than his, she hugged her best friend back with all the days she'd been without her fueling her muscles.

"Don't ever leave me again." She heard Peyton say. "You know I can't function without you."

"I promise, P. Sawyer." She heard her voice crack within the nickname. "I missed you so much."

"Jesus, I thought I'd never see you again." Peyton told her as tears formed and fell from her eyes and they pulled apart.

Brooke smiled then exchanged hugs with the adults in her life and thought morosely as Larry embraced her with kind words, that even a man who was at sea most of the year was a more present parental figure than her own parents.

"Ready to go home?" Lucas asked her. She nodded and added.

"What about Haley?" she inquired. "Can we see her first?"

Lucas made his mouth a thin line and answered her.

"Not today." He told her. "But Nathan's with her now."

"How is he?" she asked.

"He's got a year's probation. Somehow he's managed to cause more trouble than both of us together."

She managed a small laugh and held his hand as he led her down the corridor. Their footsteps were lost amid the orchestra of the busy building. The doors opened and the group stepped outside. Brooke took notice of the gray sky and commented.

"It's later than I thought it was." She observed.

"Yeah." He replied, putting his arm around her shoulders and putting a kiss to her temple.

The couple walked down the concrete steps leading to Karen's car. The adults exchanged a few words while Peyton's eyes were drawn to an approaching car. The polished black vehicle sped down the street, an odd thing to do in front of a heavily policed area, and came to an abrupt screeching halt at the curb in a place that was definitely _not_ a parking space.

As Lucas the car's door for Brooke, the couple's attention went to it as well. The door opened without turning off the engine.

"Brooke!" the driver's voice called as the older woman rushed up the sidewalk towards them.

"Mom?" Brooke spoke it as a question, not sure if she could believe what she was seeing. As her mother got closer, she realized it was real and spoke again in a new tone. "Mom!"

Brooke helped close the space between them and didn't allow any skepticism into her mind about why she'd shown, always a possibility of an ulterior motive loomed when her mother was involved. But at the moment, she only cared that she'd come and threw her arms around her. When Victoria did the same, Brooke squeezed her tightly.

"Oh honey," Brooke heard her say. "I came as quickly as I could. I'm sorry it took so long."

"I don't care." Brooke said honestly. "You're here. You came."

"Of course I came." She replied, pulling back and smoothing her daughter's hair.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She replied quickly, glancing around. "What about dad? Is he here?"

Victoria sighed, answering even before she used words.

"Your father…" she began, searching for a way to answer her. "…he couldn't get away."

"Couldn't…"she repeated disbelievingly, then shook her head deciding not to dwell. "You know what, it doesn't matter. You're here."

She hugged her again. Happy that her mother had showed up when she needed her most despite their imperfect relationship.

"Are you hungry?" Victoria asked when they parted again. "We can grab some dinner or maybe just some ice cream or did you have plans?"

Brooke turned to look at Lucas. Meeting her eyes, he gave her a nod. He understood her desire to have her parents around; to spend time with them. They were originally going to go to his house with his parents, but if she had this opportunity he wouldn't stand in the way.

Now he'd have the same time with his own family. Brooke returned her gaze to Victoria.

"I'd love that."

* * *

He looked into the mirror over the sink. He glanced at the image looking back at him. Eyes travelling over the bruises painting his face, the bruises given to him by his very own son.

Fists thrown at him in _her_ name. A girl, correction, young woman who vexed both of his sons. A woman who tried to kill him…twice.

All the months he'd spent feeling around, trying to figure out who'd set that fire. All that time, all he had were suspicions. Dan had grown certain it was Keith, his own big brother, who had done it. But then he was shot…by _her._

In that moment of waking up in the hospital, it became clear to him.

Haley.

She'd tried to kill him in a fire, and when it hadn't worked she chose a more direct way. When the opportunity presented itself, she shot him with his own gun. He wondered what sob story she'd cried out to his sons about what happened; what words she used to turn them against him yet again.

Dan left the bathroom, clicking on the television as he entered the living room. He listened to the anchor inform the town of the newest developments in one of, if not _the_ biggest story Tree Hill had experienced. A clip was shown of his oldest son and his girlfriend exiting the courthouse. Next the mug shot of his would-be killer appeared and the voice explained that the scheduled hearing would take place on Monday morning.

He nearly growled as he thought it over.

This part wasn't supposed to happen. She shouldn't have been arrested.

He didn't want her punished by the fallible justice system. He didn't want her simply punished; he wanted her ruined.

He wanted her to suffer.

She _would_ suffer and he would watch it happen; then, and only then, would he return the favor and show her how to be successful in ending someone.

X

X

X

X

**A/N II : Not very long but... Anyone interested in a fun fact-a-ma-jig?**

**NEXT CHAP = BIG **


	26. Why Do I Keep Counting?

**A/N: I know I have a horrible habit of needing reasons to explain to you why I sometimes just take so damn long to get updates out for you, but in this case I have a good one. And trust me, it's really, really a good reason…it also happens to be personal. So without going into detail I'll let you know that my attention was needed elsewhere and as much as I love you guys and these stories it had to take priority. **

**Away from that, I told you guys in the last chap that this one would be big. I meant it in happenings. At least I consider what your about to see to be big. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

"_Help me get down_

_I can make it_

_Help me get down_

_If I only knew the answer_

_And if all our days are numbered_

_Then why do I keep counting?"_

'_Why Do I Keep Counting?'_

-The Killers

* * *

After another fitful night and a frightening morning in which Haley woke unfamiliar to the strange room she found herself in, she was already far passed frazzled when it was time to see her lawyer again.

Martin watched her approach the chair across from the table where he stood. He noticed his client seemed different than she'd been when he'd left her the day before. Jumpier.

He turned to the man beside him, who he'd brought along, and leaned towards his ear to whisper this observation to him. He mentally noted to himself that whether or not this was an act of hers, if she kept it up so well he had this case in the bag. He just needed his colleague to make a few official conclusions. Once she was seated, he cleared his throat and began.

"Morning." He greeted as she looked up at him, her eyes going to the new man then back when he spoke again. "How are you feeling today?"

Haley looked down at her entwined hands and found herself wondering when the last time was that she didn't worry over a sudden bout of shaking to overcome them. She answered quietly.

"I'm ok."

He kept his eyes on her after her answer while she, knowing she was being looked at, tried to suppress a shiver from the harsh temperature of the place. Oddly from what she'd seen so far that day, she seemed to be the only one affected by it; nobody else appeared to notice at all.

"Ok, Haley." He spoke up standing straight and gesturing to the stranger beside him. "This is my friend Sam Trenton."

Haley looked at him after the introduction and offered a small hello. She probably would have taken the hand he offered to shake if she wasn't hiding hers under the table.

"Sam is here to the help us." He continued, giving the man a pat on the shoulder. "He's a doctor and he's going to talk to you for a little bit ok? I'll be just over in the corner, pretend I'm not here."

She gave him a nod and he walked away. Once Veil had left their immediate area, Dr. Trenton sat down across from her. She fidgeted uncomfortably a moment and asked for confirmation.

"You're a doctor?" she questioned.

In response to his nod she took a breath, licking her lips before beginning to give him the information she figured he would need.

"I've um, I've been getting sick a lot. Like…really bad headaches and nausea, I think I could be-"

"I'm sorry." He interrupted apologetically to the girl, holding up a hand to stop her words. "I'm sorry; we weren't very specific were we? I'm not that kind of doctor."

Haley's eyebrows furrowed and she looked over her shoulder where Veil stood, arms crossed and leaning against the wall.

"I don't understand." She said looking between the two. Her lawyer stood away from the wall and gestured towards the other man.

"Sam here is a psychologist. "he informed her. "He's here to help solidify your defense." Haley swallowed dryly and looked back to the doctor.

"How?" fearing she knew the answer.

"E.E.D." Veil answered, than shrugged. "Extreme Emotional Distress, wherein a person, in this cases you, cannot be held responsible for their actions, i.e. shooting your father-in-law, due to an astounding level of emotional distress."

Haley wrenched her eyes shut and pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. She felt awful and was having a hell of a time trying to focus and follow the words of her quick spoken attorney.

"What?" she asked with a grimace on her face.

"I'm simply here to establish your…" he paused, searching for the gentle delivery. "…the state of mind you were in on that day and now."

Haley understood that. She narrowed her eyes in response.

"You want to say I'm crazy." She accused.

Her head shook frightfully back and forth.

"I'm not crazy." She spoke, her voice wavering at the horrible accusation. She wasn't crazy, was she? She asked Nathan and he told her no. HE said she wasn't. He wouldn't lie to her. She put her head now in both of her hands. She repeated herself, looking up with a new layer of moisture in her eyes. "I'm not. I'm just-I have been feeling well. I forget sometimes, but I'm-I'm sick, I'm not crazy. I'm just a little sick."

"No one is saying you're crazy." The doctor spoke in a calm voice. "I just want to see how well you comprehend everything that's happened."

"I _comprehend_ it all just fine." She snapped in a strong voice, glaring venomously at the man before her.

"Haley."

She turned her head as her lawyer left his corner and approached her. He knelt at her side, one hand on the table, and one on the back of the chair, more or less caging her in her seat. HE met her angered gaze with his practical ones.

"Think about what you told me; how you described it. Haley, think about what's happened." He suggested and she jerked her face at him as if threatening him.

"I do." She spoke. "All I do is think about it, _and_ dream about it, _and_ relive every fucking second of it. Do you comprehend that?"

He studied her a moment, not expecting the response she'd given him. In all the time he'd met with her, Veil hadn't seen anyone other than a timid, frightened girl. This sudden flip of the switch could prove to be either helpful or detrimental to their case if he didn't play the cards just right.

"Haley, listen to me." He began. "I'm building a defense here, _your_ defense. Now tell the good doctor here what you told me about that day; what it was like, what you felt."

Haley considered him a moment before speaking again without obliging his request.

"You _want_ me to be crazy." She hissed. "You want everyone to believe I am."

"What does it matter what other people believe as long as you walk out of you trial?" he asked. "All you have to do is what I say and I promise you'll be free as a bird."

Somehow, without any prepared knowledge of what she was about to do, Haley moved from her chair and at the talking man knelt before her. Her seat fell over with a loud bang and the surprised lawyer fell backward under her momentum and she ended up straddling his midsection with his suit jacket clenched in her fisted hands.

"You're a liar!" she shouted in his face.

She heard the door fly open at the same time she felt Dr. Trenton wrap a hold around her waist and pull at her. Even as the man attempted to rip her away, Haley kept a viscous grip on Veil's fabric and screaming at him, calling him a liar.

"You're lying! You're lying!"

Martin kept his hands up, palms out in a surrendered pose to ensure he didn't lay a hand on his client and that everyone who happened to be a witness would know that.

"Let go. Haley, let him go." The doctor demanded pulling at her protesting form.

Just before the guard stepped in to assist with whatever force she may have found necessary, Dr. Trenton managed to remove the girl. He spun around, sitting her on the floor, and keeping his arms wrapped around hers, with their backs to the lawyer who was straightening his suit as he rose. Still stuck in the man's hold, Haley's scream quieted to a rushed speaking level.

"He's lying. He's lying." She continued to accuse in her quieter sound, her breath shaking as she spoke. "I won't be free. I'll never be free of it."

A few minutes later found herself being led, none too kindly, back to what had more or less become her home.

"I told you I don't like trouble makers." The woman said, leading Haley back to the room by the elbow, her grip harsher than it had to be or had been before.

Haley almost laughed when she retorted.

"What's my punishment teacher? I'm already sitting by myself in the corner." She spat sarcastically.

They approached the familiar half-glass door, the numbers declaring as hers.

"Well I guess your friends don't get to play with you tonight." The guard stated, replying to the cynicism with her own.

"What the hell does that mean?" Haley asked as the door was opened in front of her.

"It means one of us lost visitor's privileges and I'll give you a hint; it isn't me."

She gave the young woman a shove inside, again a little rougher than what was necessary to get her to move. Haley's feet stuttered as she regained her balance from the unexpected push.

"You can't do that." Haley replied in shock as the woman unlocked her cuffs.

"Already done."

"But…" Haley began, feeling her sarcastic words evaporate and only anguish remained. "But I need him. My husband, I need to be able to see him. "

"What you need is to learn how to behave." She answered, stepping back from the cell while keeping her eyes on Haley until the door was closed and locked once again.

Haley went to it and, much like she had her first night there, began pounding against the transparent barrier as she hollered. It was a day and a half away from her hearing. Was she not to be allowed any visitors in that entire time? And what about after? If she was to be held without bail until the actual trial…did her punishment carry over to that time as well?

How could she ever think she could get along without having anyone come and see her? When she asked it of Peyton, she was sure it was the best thing for everyone. They wouldn't see her as she was and she wouldn't feel guilty for how she made them feel. But it was garbage. If they listened and no one came to see her, she would die. No over dramatics, she was almost positive she would die without contact with them.

"You can't do this!" she screamed, though her company had already left. She slapped the glass again. "You can't do this to me! Get back here!"

Haley, still riding her seemingly uncontrollable rage turned from the window and took her fury out on the few objects in the small room. Throwing her pillow at the wall. Ripping the sheet from her mattress. Tugging the mattress itself from the frame. Heaving a book she'd been allowed to keep from Nathan at the glass as if it might shatter it and free her.

She screamed and cursed and raged until she was panting and exhausted. A wave of dizziness came over her and she lowered herself to lie on the mattress now on the floor. Her breaths heaved with the all too familiar nausea and she whimpered to keep it at bay, resting quivering hands over her stomach. Curling in on herself, she bent her head downward and looked at her abdomen.

"I don't know if you're in there…" she began in a terribly unsteady whisper, speaking to the child within her, or simply the idea of the child. "I think you are, though I might be wrong I guess. I've been wrong a lot lately. But if you are, and you can hear me, I just wan-want you to know…" she swallowed. "…I _love_ you."

"I love you so much, baby. Your daddy loves you, too. I'm sorry you might not be able to hear him talk to you for a while…maybe not until you're born even. But you'll know his voice and …and you'll feel his love and you'll know his heart. He's going to wrap you up inside it and keep you there forever. And he'll…he'll be take care of you, and protect you from all the bad things and give you the strongest, most powerful love you'll ever know. "

"I don't know when I'll get to see you, baby. It might be just you and daddy for a while and if it is…if it is mama's gonna need your help, ok? As much as he takes care of you, I need you to take care of him too. And when you don't understand why-why other kids have mommy's who are there when you don't, I want you to remember how much I love you, and that I would give anything in the world to be there with you every day. When you're older….old enough to understand why I'm not around, I hope you'll find a way to-to forgive me for always being away for so long. Because being away from you and your daddy is the scariest thing I can imagine right now. Because I …I love you. I don't know your face, or your voice, but I know you already mean everything to me."

She finally halted, tears sliding down the side of her head as she lie curled around her midsection.

"I just wanted you to know…" she finished. "…in case you're there."

Haley woke with slow moving senses. Her eyelids felt like anvils and her mind was covered in a slow to clear mist. The closer she came to clarity, the more sensations her body was aware of. Her hands hurt, the muscles and bones feeling weak and tired as if they'd been strained to their maximum potential and beyond while she slept. Looking where they'd been resting on her person, Haley noticed the creases and grooves of her clothing and determined at some point in her sleep – or possibly all through it – she must have been clutching at it fiercely enough to fatigue her own hands.

She didn't recall falling asleep or even being asleep as she had no recollection of any dreams. It was as though she'd blinked and in the span of the brief miniscule action hours had passed by. She'd equate that more with being unconscious than she would with actual rest. Maybe that explained why she still felt the urge to let her eyes slide closed for a bit longer.

But then she remembered that she'd woke up for a reason, something woke her up. With a deep breath she forced herself to sit up. Her actions made the room tilt and spin a few seconds. She put a hand to her head and waited, urging it to pass and everything around her to still. When it finally did, she was surprised to see the state of the room. As she looked at the chaotic mess, the memory of causing the damage herself came and she let out a small gasp.

What had she done? Why did this keep happening? She kept losing control, losing herself, and doing things she would never normally do. Maybe they were right…maybe Nathan was wrong and she really was crazy. She was feeling farther away from herself – what she'd call her true self – every second that passed. Without being able to dwell on it, she was reminded of what it was that stirred her from slumber. A voice came to her, but it wasn't just a voice; it was _his_ voice.

"Rise and shine." It taunted and she turned her head toward her window.

She saw him and instinctively shot to her feet and tried to back away. Haley stumbled over her mattress, nearly falling on her ass as the sudden movement sent a fresh wave of twirling nausea washing over her. Even though she knew logically that he couldn't get to her in there, her reaction was a reflex.

"Whoa, easy there." His voice came again and she saw his nonchalant presence watching her. "If either of us is supposed to be scared of this little meeting, I think it should be the one who was shot by the other, don't you?"

"What..What are you doing here?" she asked in a shaking voice, hating that she was showing him exactly how afraid she was to see him. She took a step closer still leaving a fair distance between herself and the door he stood before. "You can't be here."

Dan smirked in response, the movement drawing attention to the bruising near the corner of his mouth.

"You should know by now, Haley." He started. "There's nothing Dan Scott can't do."

"Mr. Scott…" she started, hugging herself. "I'm sorry for what happened. For what I did. I don't, I mean, I didn't intend for it to happen. It just did and I'm still not certain of everything that _did_ happen, but I am sorry."

The man looked at her curiously and tilted his head.

"That's good." He said then laughed and shook his head. "That's very good. Your lawyer coach you on that?"

"What?" she asked. "No, No I – "

"You know, I came here to tell you something. You see, I've been considering something. Something I think you'd be very interested in. Dropping the charges."

"Really?" she questioned disbelievingly. "Why would you do that?"

"Why do you think? It certainly isn't out of the goodness of my heart." He spoke rhetorically. "Do you think I'd be happy to let the blockhead in a courtroom decided a punishment that's mine to give?"

Haley's eyes widened a fraction, terrified of what his words meant.

"M-Mr. Scott." She began, stuttering in her fear. "I...I don't –"

"But," he interrupted again, pointing a single finger upwards to emphasize that he was the one speaking and in power. "Then I thought to myself, why bother? You see, if you get off, well I'll just be waiting when you get out. And if you get sentenced, it means you're shut away. Kept in a box, surrounded by all the wrong people, while your little world goes on without you and eventually forgetting you completely."

She shook her head but he didn't pay any attention to the fact that she didn't want to hear anymore. Her eyes were transfixed on him as he continued.

"Your name is ruined, raked through the dirt and the muck before becoming nothing but a forgotten murmur. My sons, your friends, everyone you care about moves on and leave you behind. And then…"

His eyes glinted with something she was too afraid to try to decipher when his next words were added on to the already painful ones he'd bombarded her with.

"And then, I'll be waiting when you get out."

"No words came to her lips, none formed in her mind. She couldn't get past what he'd said; the horrible description he'd been so pleased to share with her. When he realized that she had no response and he'd delivered the point he came to, he gave a small nod, winking as he told her.

"Sweet dreams, Haley."

As his figure disappeared from her view, Haley finally gave in to the curl in her stomach and rushed to her steel toilet to empty her stomach.

The following day, Haley had come around again on the floor. Her clothes and mattress were damp with sweat and she felt even worse than she had the day before…worse than ever.

She shook, her legs wobbled weakly beneath each step, and she barely heard the reprimanding words the guard spoke to her in regards to the mess she'd made of the room. Haley found herself unable to allow any strength or energy to form words; she needed it all to stand, walk, and then sit up.

"Haley." A sudden voice made her flinch and she looked across the table and saw Mr. Veil. He looked unhappy. Of course he was unhappy, he was trying to help her and she returned the favor by attacking him. "Are you listening?"

Her mouth was dry but she managed to respond.

"Sorry." She apologized. "I don't feel well."

"Oh, ok." He remarked, overly dramatic. "I'll just tell your mother-in-law, 'Hey, I know you're footing the bill, the rather large bill for me to get her out of this, but you know she just didn't feel well.' Or how about the judge? 'I'm sorry your honor, we would've been prepared, she just didn't feel well."

"Stop." She barely mustered up enough force in her voice to make sure he knew she was serious than continued on. "I'm sorry; I'm sick."

"Well we can't use the flu as a defense so suck it up." He demanded sharply.

"I'm-"

"Sorry." He finished for her. "Yeah, you said that…twice. Believe me it's on the record that Haley James-Scott is sorry. Can we focus now?"

Haley swallowed but only managed a nod in response.

"Alright, back to business. We've got some people who are going to be character witnesses. They're basically there to say you're a good person, this isn't like you, blah, blah, blah. Other than the obvious, your husband, roommate, brother- in-law – you know all your little partners in crime – there's a couple teachers, classmates that you never fled the state with, and your employer Karen Roe. Now is there-"

"Karen?" she spoke up, surprised to hear her named. He sighed.

"Yes. Now is there anyone named here," he put the paper of typed names before her, "who could have anything damaging to say about you?"

Haley blinked, the typed letters blurring under her vision as she tried to read them. She closed her eyes slowly and let out a steadying breath, answering quietly.

"I don't know."

"Great." He commented, clearly frustrated. He reached forward, slapping his hand on the sheet of paper to bring it back, but before he voiced the snide remark on the tip of his tongue, he found himself taking a look at the girl in front of him.

He had to admit she did _look_ ill. Her pale skin had a coat of sweat beaded on all visible areas of her face, her exhausted demeanor made her appear weak and fragile. He could honestly say that the person he was looking at was sick with more than just a cold.

"Haley," he began in a softer tone than he'd used yet. She opened her eyes and they moved lazily up to him. "I'm sorry you don't feel well, I'll mention to the warden to get a doctor, a physician, to take a look at you. I promise. But that has to wait right now. We have less than twenty-four hours, do you understand?"

"I do." She nodded. "Thank you for your help. I …appreciate what you're doing for me."

"You're welcome." He nodded as well. "How about we take a short break, then? Would you like some water?" "Please." She tried a grateful smile, knowing it looked halfhearted.

He knocked the table twice with his knuckles as he rose to the door. Haley took a few deep breaths, attempting to control her body. She heard the step returning, the last thing she heard before an intense pain filled her body.

It was so sharp, so unexpected, she couldn't even attempt to pinpoint where it originated, but it owned every inch of her. She could hear her blood thundering in her ears and felt her heart violently beating harder and harder in her chest. She saw Veil return, placing a Styrofoam in front of her and walking over to his side of the table.

"Here you go." As he walked, he spoke with his back to her. He took a sip from his own cup and grimaced at the taste before seemingly inspecting the liquid in his hand. "I swear all coffee in places like this is made from sewer water. At least the stuff they give us is, I know they keep the good stuff somewhere for their own people."

He smirked at his own remark and turned toward his quiet client. Martin saw her and was instantly confused by her wide eyed expression and complete stillness.

"Haley, what's wrong?"

No response. He stepped closer wondering if she'd dazed off again.

"Hey, Earth to Scott." He tried to joke, putting his hand on her shoulder to jolt her from her reverie. As soon as his palm touched her, his own eyes widened and he pulled his hand back to look at it.

Was it just him? He tried again, with his other hand and got the same result. He could feel her body heat through the fabric of her clothes. He touched the back of his hand to her forehead as if he didn't quite believe what was going on. When he felt her temperature, he dropped his cup, black liquid splashing over the floor. He ran the short distance to the door and ripped it open, speaking quickly to the guard.

"You gotta get someone in here now," he ordered. "She's burning up. Now!"

Veil hurried back to Haley and pulled her carefully from the chair, laying her down on the floor. She still had yet to respond and he was at a loss. Her eyes were open, yet she acted as if unconscious.

"Haley. Hey, Haley, snap out of it. Come on." He requested, suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that she was clearly sicker than he'd assumed. He pat her cheeks, shook her shoulders, anything to find any sort of reaction or acknowledgement from the girl.

He got one after a few terrifying moments. Despite himself, he couldn't help the groan of disgust that escaped him when the girl suddenly threw up and subsequently began a coughing fit. Discovering enough common sense within himself, Martin carefully turned her head aside to prevent her from choking.

After she'd vomited, she appeared to be aware once again and started shaking her head slightly to get away from the smell of her own mess.

"What…." She tried to ask but, couldn't force the rest of the question up.

She felt someone moving hair out of her face and speaking to her; barely hearing the voice.

"It's ok." The voice tried to tell her. "Help's coming."

She tried to move her head, turn it enough to face the voice but her body refused to allow it the necessary strength to do so and her eyelids began to fall.

Her brain told her to mention the baby before she passed out. It told her that whoever the help was that came for her should know that important fact. She tried to oblige, but honestly had no idea whether or not she actually spoke the words before everything went dark.

* * *

Haley's eyes slid open again, just barely. Like a curtain lifted just enough to raise the window behind it and allow the air through.

She couldn't get a grip on anything. There was a thick, thick blur to everything around her and she heard as if trying to listen to a conversation taking place on the other side of a concrete wall. The lights were bright and she was already beginning to fear herself fall away again when she heard voices, pieces of conversation drifting to her through the fog.

"…means what?..."

"…hard to….exactly…We'll…"

"No. I'll tell….."

"…awake!"

A figure suddenly leaned over her, becoming clearer through the haze, she soon learned which voice belonged to it.

"Haley, honey?" she heard better, fighting the returning darkness. "Sweetie, can you hear me?"

"Mom?" her lips barely moved, but the word was somehow loud enough to be heard.

"Shh…it's ok honey. We're here. You're in the hospital, but you're gonna be fine." There was something in the woman's voice when she said this that struck Haley but she couldn't grab hold of it well enough.

"I can't…" she tried, her head lolling in the direction of her mother, now with her father standing beside her; one hand on Lydia's shoulder, the other on Haley's leg, assuring her of his presence. "…tired."

"You have a fever sweetheart." Her mother informed. "It's spiking."

"Spike…" she repeated, her voice remaining only a breath whisper though it took all her strength. "Nathan."

"I'm here." A new voice, one of them that she'd heard in pieces came to her now on the opposite side of her parents. A large hand wrapped itself around her smaller one. "I'm right here."

She wanted to turn her head towards him, she desperately wanted to see him to know he was really there beside her, but she lacked the little strength she needed to do it.

"Nathan…" she said his name again.

He said something but it was too far away to hear. Whatever it had been she had a feeling, even in her confused state, that it was important.

"Nathan," her own voice was far away from her now, but she managed this time to assure she spoke the words out loud. "The baby…"

His muddled voice was the last thing that came to her.

The words lost to her as she became limp again, slipping back into the darkness.

Xx

* * *

Xx

* * *

**A/N: Did I also mention that BIG meant in length as well? Longest chapter yet at almost 5,000 words of story! Not counting A/N and lyrics**

**Xx**


	27. The Lightning Strike

**A/N: Alrighty my lovely and dedicated readers! I'm crazy happy …like out of this world amazed by the response for the last chapter and on top of getting amazing feedback I GOT MY 200****TH**** REVIEW! **

**I'm talkin to you "chase the memories"! What-What!**

**It's crazy I never thought I'd ever get this kind of response for this or anything I've made really! Love,Love,LOVE it!**

**Ok, so here I go with a bit of information for this update….while not as long as the last one, **_**definitely**_** not as long, its contents are still deep in the realm of BIG and IMPORTANT.**

**So, short in comparison, but it's definitely a good'n. It was difficult for me to write, actually but in the end when looking over it I was really pleased. Hope you feel the same!**

* * *

"_It got cold and then dark so suddenly and rained _

_It rained so hard the two of us were the only thing _

_That we could see for miles and miles _

_And in the middle of the flood I felt my worth _

_When you held onto me like I was your little life raft _

_Please know that you were mine as well"_

'_The Lightning Strike: (III) Daybreak_

Snow Patrol

* * *

When Haley's eyes began to open again, she saw the same harsh brightness assaulting her orbs. This time, however, the sting of it dulled after she blinked once, twice, then three times. She found she was now lying on her side, looking at a pair of machines; one beeping in a steady rhythm, the other only made the quiet hum of it running, but she could still see it was reading something. A narrow rectangle showed some sort of waving lines running across it.

Her brows creased in confusion and she made to bring her hand up, but was surprised to feel the warmth she hadn't been aware of before encompassing it. Her eyes went down to look at it and found a hand wrapped around her own; a familiar hand. She then followed the slender arm branching out from it to the woman sitting in a chair beside her. Though she held her hand, she was looking towards the door, therefore didn't see that Haley was now awake.

Haley attempted to speak up for her, to let her mother know to look at her; to explain what was going on and tell her how sorry she was to disappoint her so badly. But instead of the smooth word she aimed for, a rough sort of croak was all her dry throat could produce. It seemed to do the job however and got the older woman's attention. Lydia turned to her youngest upon hearing the sound and immediately gave Haley her full focus. She held her hand tighter rose from the seat enough to lean over her.

"Haley." She spoke in an emotional breath, clearly relieved. She put a kiss on her temple and used her free hand to continuously smooth over her hair. "Haley, honey, how are you feeling? Do you know where you are? Do you understand me?"

This last question confused Haley even more. Why would she feel the need to ask it? Of course she understood her and attempted to say so but was once again impaired by her coarse throat. Her word was cut in half as she coughed a few wretchedly dry coughs, the sensation stinging her eyes with tears. Thankfully her mother seemed to understand. Lydia released her daughter's hand and filled a small cup with water. She returned it to her side and set it down a moment to first help Haley adjust her position.

"You'll have to turn over to drink it sweetie." She informed, gently putting her hands on either shoulder to guide Haley to her back. She then adjusted the mechanical bed so she was slightly more seated.

"There we go." Lydia assured with her motherly tone and grabbed the cup again.

Haley accepted the pastel plastic from her mother, desperate for the cool liquid it contained. As her mother released it to her, Haley saw the thing she'd reluctantly become accustomed to; the thing she hated. Her hand shook still as she held the filled cup, bringing it closer to herself. The plastic quaked violently, a wave of water sloshed over the lip and onto the blanket. She bit her lip and, hoping to diminish it, she cupped her other hand around it as well; holding it between both to steady it. She carefully took a drink, feeling the water soothe her parched throat. Not realizing how thirsty she'd been until she was there drinking it, Haley took down as much as she could in one sitting.

She took her time in returning it. She thought maybe she was doing it to keep from having to look at her mom right then. She feared what she'd see in her eyes when she did. Disappointment. Loathing what she'd done; her eyes sprang more tears as she tried to yet again quell her quivering hands in front of her. As she had watched it happen more and more over her recent life, she'd done her absolute best not to let anyone see it. Now here she was with her mother and she had nowhere to hide them.

With the cup void of the weight of water, the plastic in her hands was more visible showing the involuntary movements. Lydia gently put a hand over her wrist and wordlessly took the cup from her. Haley looked up at her when she heard her name softly spoken. She forced her eyes to find hers and was surprised to see no negativity showing there. Licking her lips, she tried speaking again.

"Mom?" it came out like a true word this time.

"Hi Bob." She greeted with a big smile and wet eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok." She answered. It wasn't one hundred percent true; she was confused, there was a throb in her head, stiffness in her chest, and though she'd obviously been sleeping for a while she felt exhausted. She looked down at herself and saw down the collar of the hospital gown, noticing the quarter-shaped pads stuck to her chest, the wires connected to the grouped together and strung out the sleeve toward the beeping machine at her bedside.

She lifted her hand to look at the IV needled under her skin on the back of it before raising it to touch her head. There she found a surprise as well. It seemed that the same sort of sensors she'd found beneath the gown had partners attached to two spots on her forehead.

"What's going on?" Haley finally asked after looking up to see the small window on the door and the glimpse it gave into the hall. She saw Nathan and her father talking to someone she couldn't see from her view.

Her mother followed her gaze before turning back to her.

"They're talking to the lawyer." She told her.

"The hearing…" Haley began.

"Don't worry about it." She dismissed. "Just focus on feeling better, Ok? Do you remember what happened?"

Haley put her hand to her head once again.

"I remember…"she began. "… I was talking to Mr. Veil."

Lydia let out a sigh and took Haley's hand in both of hers. She put a kiss on her knuckles. This bothered Haley, simply because her mom was clearly worried, but Haley still wasn't given answers about what happened.

"Mom." She began again, the monitor announcing her increasingly nervous heart. "The baby. Is the baby ok?"

Haley didn't miss the look that passed over her mother's face before she looked down; breaking eye contact. The machine beeped in rapid percussion accompanying her frightened heartbeat.

"Mom?" she asked in an unsteady voice.

"Nathan wants to be the one to talk to you about everything." She finally replied, it seemed to be the answer.

But Haley needed to hear the words.

"Mom, please." She pleaded.

But the door opened and the two men entered. Nathan immediately went to her side. He put a kiss on her forehead, then one on her lips. Jimmy came to stand beside his wife and Haley gave him her attention.

"Dad." She couldn't deny how good it was to see her parents; if only the circumstances were different.

The man smiled at her and cupped her cheek. She could feel the callouses of his long working hands.

"Hey there beautiful." He greeted with a smile. "You scared us. You know if you wanted us to come see you, all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to go and do all this for our attention."

"I'm sorry." Haley said, smirking at the joke despite everything that went on around them. Then she saw the world blur with moisture and repeated herself. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey now, none of that." He began caressing his youngest child's cheek with his thumb. "We love you kid."

"I love you guys, too." She told them, her eyes dancing between the two of them.

"I think we'll give you some time with this fine young man here." He announced gesturing to Nathan on the opposite side of the mattress.

She spoke a quiet ok, getting kisses from both of them before they left the room.

Alone with his wife, Nathan took the seat his mother-in-law had recently occupied. Breathing steadily in and out, he attempted to brace himself for her questions and all the answers he'd have to give her.

"Nathan." She said his name, terrified of everything she didn't know right then. "What's happening? Why did my mom have to ask if I understood her? Why am I here? And what…what about the baby? Is he ok?"

Nathan sighed and ran a hand over his face as he tried to settle on how to explain all the answers she was asking for. He decided to start with the first question and work up the courage to the final one.

"You um," he cleared his throat. "You woke up a few times before and, um, you weren't really…aware. You were confused; you didn't really recognize any of us. It was scary."

"I didn't?" she asked, shocked by the account of events she didn't remember. "But…"

She shook her head, running her fingers under her eyes. Taking a few breaths she forced herself to repeat the question that nobody wanted to answer.

"The baby?"

He grabbed her hand as her mother had, holding it in both of his and rubbing it. He kept his eyes on it a moment and took a breath before speaking; the air coming out with an unsteady waver.

"Listen, Haley…"he paused, an ache rose in his chest as the following words formed in his mouth. "There is no baby."

Tears immediately began falling from her eyes and Nathan felt his jaw muscles tighten to control his own emotion. He didn't want to see this happening to her; he didn't want to say these things to her.

"What?" her word fell out in a gust of air. "He's gone? But, w-why? I don't…What happened? What did I do?"

"Haley-"he tried to explain.

"I haven't been eat-eating right." She began reasoning all the ways she'd ruined their lives one more time. "I didn't-"

"No." he said, shaking his head speaking softly. "Hales, it's …it's not like that."

"I don't understand."

"There, um, there never was a baby." He told her hand, forcing his eyes then up to hers and seeing the disbelief there. She shook her head.

"No." she replied. "No, that doesn't make any sense. It's not possible. The signs were there Nathan. I know, I know my body there was something different. He was there. The doctors are wrong."

"Baby, listen please." He pleaded desperately with his wife. He couldn't stand to see her in so much pain as she was now. But he'd told them all, that he should be the one to tell her everything; that she'd take it better coming from him. Looking at her now, he could feel that assurance wavering and the want to chicken out, grow. "You were never pregnant. It was…"

He took a breath feeling his throat begin to constrict and block his voice.

"Maybe I _should _get the doctor." He offered.

"No." she stopped him. "Please tell me what it is. I need _you_ to tell me."

Nathan let out another breath, his own eyes stinging now as the words formed in his mind; a retelling of all the doctor had told them. In layman's terms, he forced them into his mouth.

"You're sick, Haley." He admitted, his entire body seconds from breaking apart. "More than we thought; more than anyone thought."

He watched Haley, could see her attempting to keep control of her panicking breathing.

"How bad?" she finally asked.

"The, uh, the doctor called it a…mass." He told her, knowing his smart love's knowledge probably told her what that meant.

"A mass." She repeated in barely a whisper. "Like cancer?"

Nathan nodded, sniffling once and elaborating.

"It's a tumor, Haley." He told her, drawing the explanation from memory and using every ounce of strength he had in him to keep going. "He called it a…a frontal lobe tumor. He said it explains …"

He had to pause again, fighting that growing need to simply fall apart just as he had days ago when they'd first spoke to him. He saw her unsteady hand rise to touch the sensors stuck to the skin of her head.

"It's why you've been having headaches and getting sick…why you, uh, sometimes forget and act different. He told us a bunch, um, symptoms that-that fit. It can cause seizures." He finished and paused for a moment, as if waiting to see if she'd say something in response. When she didn't reply other than to look at him with the same shocked and disbelieving expression she'd been wearing the entire time he'd been speaking, he went on. "That's what happened, Haley. They said you had some sort seizure, they did some tests and scans and found it."

Nathan's vision blurred with unshed tears, more building up with each word he said.

"He said it, it can, um, make it hard…almost impossible to control things you do sometimes. Impulses."

Nathan put his eyes on his wife's and hated what he saw. The woman who'd stolen his heart, who was the very cause for breathing every day, looked so completely shattered. Her cheeks were streaked with tears while still more came from her moist orbs. He couldn't fight it anymore and felt his own watery drops begin to slip from his eyes. Even as they did, he had to finish. There was one more thing that needed to be said.

"When I asked him, he said it's a good chance that it's why you …the reason for what happened with Dan." He half-explained without speaking every word. However he saw that she understood what he meant.

"Why I shot him." She detailed for him.

"Veil said he's gonna have the doctor talk to the judge." He went on. "To say you weren't responsible for your actions. Since it wasn't your fault, you couldn't control it, he's pretty sure everything's gonna get dismissed. Maybe not the running away, you know. But the big stuff, it's all gonna be gone."

"Nathan…" she began quietly, sucking in her bottom lip. "Am I going to die?"

"No." he answered right away, force behind his words. He moved to the edge of his seat, getting closer to her. "No. You're not going anywhere. You're going to be fine. We'll get through this and everything will be fine. It'll be great."

"Are you sure?" she asked, terrified. "Did they say so?"

Nathan didn't tell her that he wasn't told that at all. The doctor had stated that there were options, but nothing was certain. It had been growing and developing for months, right there in her precious mind, applying pressure and manipulating her. They couldn't take action for her until the fever broke. Thankfully it clearly had as he was now having a clear conversation with her.

Instead of telling her any of that, Nathan only kissed her hand and reinforced his words.

"You're going to be fine."

Haley knew there was more to it; his words were too heavy, too desperate. He wasn't sure. This made her cry still more as she pulled him to come closer. When he did, Haley wrapped her arms around his neck. She held her husband as tight as she could manage and felt him do the same. His strong arms sliding between her body and the mattress she lay on.

"You're gonna be ok." She heard his muffled voice say. Even though it was obscured, she could hear the tears in his words.

She closed her eyes, scrunching them tight as she felt his shoulders begin to shake; repeating the same words like a prayer. Squeezing him tighter, she felt her own sobs begin to come. They held each other with absolute desperation; each person the other's lifeline.

After a few minutes, Nathan moved to lie beside her. Haley turned to once again lie on her side, feeling him curve around her back. His arms still wrapped around her, she covered them with her own as they rested over her stomach. This made the thought come to her.

"I really thought I was pregnant." She whispered.

"Me too."

"Were you scared?"

"Terrified." He replied honestly. "But, I was kind of excited too. I thought, you know, with everything bad going on, it was like this little thing was like a symbol, you know? Like hope."

He felt her nod before she confessed something else.

"I thought it was a boy."

"Yeah?" he asked. "Did you think of any names?"

"No." she told him. "I was too afraid."

Nathan was silent for a moment, bringing her slightly closer to him before speaking up.

"James." He said softly, as if he were speaking about a real person who would wake if the name was said too loud.

"After my dad." She speculated with a smile, imagining how much her father would love that.

"No." he told her. "For you Haley James."

She let out a chuckle and felt another tear slid to the mattress.

"My son, James." He said softly. "I love that."

"But it's not real." She said regrettably.

"It will be." He promised.

Haley pressed her lips together. Her current situation making her question her future. Would she _have_ that 'someday' she always imagined? A house full of children with blue eyes.

As if he read her mind, Nathan tightened his hold on her and kissed her hair.

"We'll have it, Haley." He said again. "I promise."

X

* * *

X

* * *

X

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X


	28. Take This To Heart

**A/N: Alrighty guys, I'm sorry it's been a while since I've left you with the bomb I did. A couple weeks I think? Anyway, I've got a busy week ahead of me. Microbiology final on Wednesday, all day Harry Potter Thursday (leading up to the midnight show! YES!), and then starting Friday morning I will be going off grid to an amazing cabin in the mountains for about 12 days. I'm going **_**completely**_** off grid. No cell. No laptop. 100%. It's gonna be awesome. In that time, however, I will be writing, so I'll have updates for you guys when I come back!**

**Hope this holds you over until then.**

* * *

"_You said it hurts and you know that I believe you_

_Searching every little thing to find a way_

_To tell your heart just to wait a little longer_

_I swear we'll make it"_

'_Take This to Heart'_

Mayday Parade

* * *

Nathan walked down the corridor, stepping along the tiled hospital floor, his hands curled around the two cups. One for him, hot with coffee; one for Haley, full of ice after she'd mentioned the water pitcher in her room wasn't cold enough.

He realized it was a gift of grace that she'd only said it as an observation rather than to shout or curse about it or even throw the pitcher at the wall. He knew the 'differences in personality' was something on the almost endless list of symptoms and effects he'd been told of. So he tried not to take it personally when his wife seemed to turn on him, snapping over the smallest triggers as if he'd personally wronged her somehow. He knew it wasn't her fault, but it didn't stop her from apologizing relentless when she was herself again.

She hated it as much as he did; not being able to control herself in or words or body. He saw the self-anger when she'd realize how she'd acted or a shameful embarrassment when her hands shook. There were times when it was so bad she couldn't feed herself for the food would end up falling off the utensil and back to the tray. He recalled the scald on his skin when she had reached for her cup on the side table and unintentionally knocked over his coffee onto his lap.

Nathan knew her heart was heavy with a devastating wound of humiliation and pain; she cried when she relented to his help which was unfortunately often at this point, even though he was more than ready to do anything he could to help her. He couldn't ever explain in words how it felt to watch it all happening to her all the while able to do little other than help her clean up or get something she needed. He was helpless against this evil thing that he should have noticed sooner; so much sooner. If he'd put more thought into her odd behavior; if he'd picked up on the smaller signs…maybe it wouldn't have come this far.

It had been three days now since she'd woke lucid and able to converse coherently, and progress had finally begun with getting her fever under control. Three days and they were only just able to discuss the best course of action to take next. It couldn't come soon enough for either of them.

She'd had another seizure the morning before; it was the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen. She hadn't started shaking or foaming as he imagined all seizures looked like, but rather she went dreadfully silent in the middle of a conversation with her sister and completely still. Eyes open and not responding to anything, like she'd been paralyzed and trapped within her own body.

Then there were the memory lapses.

Brought on out of nowhere, they occurred with sickening frequency. Sometimes it was only something as small as rereading an article in the newspaper and making the exact same comments the second time around. He, to his part, replied as if he hadn't heard the same words from her little more than an hour before. It stabbed at his heart, but he didn't want to upset her unnecessarily.

Sometimes it was bigger.

Earlier that morning, he'd changed shirts in front of her and froze when he heard her gasp. She leaned out towards him, her cold hands causing him to inhale as she touched the skin of his scar. With a shocked expression, she'd asked him what happened to him. When he looked down to see what she was asking about, his face fell and he tried to play it off.

"That old thing?" he said, forcing a half laugh and putting the clean shirt on. He then sat down again and tried to start up an unrelated conversation with her. "Are you hungry?"

"Nathan," she'd said, reaching the hem of his shirt and lifting it until her eyes saw the raised skin again. "How did this happen? _When_ did this happen?"

She looked up at him worriedly, wondering what had happened in the time she'd been away that he hadn't told her about it. What sort of accidents or trouble had he gotten into? He sighed, his eyes looked down at where her hand touched his skin.

"Haley…" he'd begun, a dejected tone to his voice.

Tears filled her eyes and she looked away, saying a quiet, "Oh."

He hated it; hated seeing the pain, both physical and emotional, that it had caused her.

On his way back to her room, he paused as he passed by a nurse's station, his eye happened to catch the television. His rubber soles squeaking at the sudden stop upon seeing the image of his father on the screen behind a podium. Nathan took a step closer, hoping to see what the 'prestigious mayor' was saying. He leaned on the counter and listened as his father began to speak.

"Like all of you, I was surprised by the new development in the case, but with this new information it's become apparent that nothing is as it seemed." Nathan counted all the microphones facing the man and knew that this would be all over town in minutes. "After learning of the medical revelation that my daughter in law, Haley Scott was not in her right mind at the time of the incident, I have made the all too easy decision to drop all charges regarding the matter."

Nathan shook his head at his father's tactic to be on the good side of the townspeople. It wasn't such a generous action if it was taken into consideration that the case against Haley was about to be officially dismissed anyway; but Dan being the cunning slime he was, made a point to have his little announcement before that became public knowledge.

Nathan's attention as called back to a voice that came from off screen.

"Mayor Scott!" it spoke to get his attention before continuing. "What are your personal feelings about this turn of events?"

"I think my actions speak clearly to that." He responded, getting a few chuckles from the crowd before that same voice spoke again.

"Are you saying that after being shot, you harbor no negative feelings towards your shooter?"

Nathan stepped forward once more, watching the man's face intensely. Dan didn't answer right away; his son watched his perfect political face flicker for a split second before he finally responded back in true form.

"The shooter, to whom you refer, is my son's wife. Haley is family. So no, I don't hold her responsible, in fact I will do all in my power to help her recovery in any way I can." He informed. "The fact of the matter is that she was not in control of her actions that day, and that is something I think we can all relate to in some way."

Nathan could have shivered as the man's dark eyes moved straight to the camera, seemingly staring straight at his son through the screen as he spoke again.

"We all lose control sometimes."

* * *

"Hey you." The voice greeted as the bell rang over the door.

Brooke looked up from the lap top she had on the counter in front of her. She saw Lucas entering the café that they now both worked at. It was the easiest way for them to spend as much time together as they could with their separate restrictions and obligations.

"This you working?" he asked, coming up behind her after taking of his jacket and tying on his apron.

"This is me on break." She commented, turning for a quick kiss before returning her eyes to the screen. He leaned to gaze over her shoulder to see what she was doing.

"Alright, what are we looking at" he whispered, then let out a sigh and stood back up. "Oh."

Brooke looked up at him, hearing the change in his voice and demeanor, suddenly feeling like she'd done something wrong. The brunette stood up as well, closing the computer and facing him.

"I was just, I thought if I learned more about it, I could maybe understand it better." She excused, seeing he was clearly upset by the reminder. "There's a lot of information online about it; I don't know, I wanted to know what to expect, what causes it, what the signs are-"

"You mean all the signs we missed?" he spoke before turning away. "All the big flashing signs telling us she was in trouble; and what did I do for it all? I said it was stress; told her to calm down, told her to get ahold of herself. Damn it."

Brooke came right behind him, putting her hands on his shoulders and laying her head on his back.

"This isn't your fault. You couldn't have known, Lucas." She tried to ease his blaring guilt. "There's no way any of us could have thought _anything_ like this was possible."

"_You_ knew something was wrong." He pointed out. "How many times did you try talking to me? When she'd yell at you or throw something or get sick or one of a thousand other things that were out of ordinary? You tried to tell me something big was going on, and I didn't listen."

"Yeah, Lucas and my genius diagnosis was pregnancy." She replied.

He sighed again and she held him tighter, now wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You going for a visit today?" she asked.

"Can't." he answered regretfully. "I've got service after my shift."

She scoffed in response.

"You'd think brain tumor would be an acceptable excuse for picking up trash." The words were already out of her mouth before she could stop them and instantly she regretted it.

Her word came out a whisper as she stepped back from him.

"Wow." She breathed, "It's weird to say it out loud."

"I keep thinking it's a mistake, or even a dream." Lucas began. "Like any minute I'll wake up on the floor of the motel room."

She chuckled and asked him.

"How bad is it that being on the run in a dingy motel with no money and the cops looking for you looks like a paradise?" Brooke asked, before continuing. "It's better though this way isn't it? I mean, not the…_it_ obviously, but I mean, having answers…being somewhere where she can get the help she needs."

Lucas didn't answer right away. Truth was, he felt responsible for the condition his best friend was currently in. If he hadn't forced her to run with him, to hide in secrecy while every moment her health grew steadily worse, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe she could've seen a doctor and have been diagnosed sooner.

"Yeah." He finally responded. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

* * *

Later in the day, Nathan sat beside his wife's hospital bed, his hand itching to hold hers as he watched the doctor and nurse perform yet another check-up on her. As soon as he stepped back, Nathan was finally able to indulge his need and immediately took her small hand in his nervous one. The man scribbled something down on the chart before looking at the young couple and addressing them.

"You've been informed of the procedural options?" he asked and Nathan nodded.

Nathan had been approached with two courses of action. Surgery or radiation. They'd gone into great detail for each path.

The surgery, a craniotomy he recalled, was definitely the far riskier of the two. It was literal brain surgery. Her skull would be opened and then a length, delicate process of carefully removing the mass followed. It would take several hours. There was no room for error in the procedure, but unfortunately the opportunities were plentiful. Any mistake, no matter how small could result in anything from death to brain damage; there were endless scenarios. The upside of it was that it would be, in a scenario where it is successful, just one surgery and then recovery- which was another conversation.

The radiation road was different. It would take several treatments and had a list of side effects that came with it more than a mile long. It was a long, painful process …but it was safer.

He'd been told that, as her husband, he should make the decision as they didn't see her in a fit enough mind to make a sound choice. Of course Nathan couldn't do it. He argued right away that he couldn't decide for her; especially something of this magnitude. This was her life. So he spoke with Haley, relaying all information to her that he'd been given and they discussed it at length. After weighing both options heavily, she'd nervously told him what she wanted.

"And have you decided?" he asked, to which it was Haley's turn to nod.

She looked at Nathan, biting her lip and squeezing his hand tighter before speaking.

"I want the surgery." She told him, hoping to give her voice enough confidence that they didn't question her ability to make decisions for herself.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I don't want to spend the next few months feeling sicker than I already do. It-It's caused so much pain already, taken too much time away. I want this to be over." She explained. "I want…I want to have my life again."

The man looked to Nathan who only nodded in agreement before he put the pen in his chest pocket.

"Alright," he responded. "A neurologist will be in shortly to explain the procedure in greater detail, and someone will come by with some papers for you to go over and sign."

"Well that's the important thing." Nathan quipped in cynic annoyance to even more paperwork.

The doctor either didn't notice or pretended not to as he left the room with a nod.

Alone once again, Nathan scooted his chair closer and reached his hand out to cup around Haley's cheek. Stroking her skin with his thumb and speaking softly.

"How are you feeling?" all too aware of the chance of a negative outburst; but instead she only looked at him with weary eyes.

"I'm fine." She replied, obviously lying.

"Come on, Hales." He responded. "Really."

"My headache's coming back." She answered honestly. "I can feel it."

"Do you want me to get someone?" he asked, already standing up.

"No." she said, wrapping her fingers around his wrist. "Not yet. Can you just stay with me for a while, please?"

He looked down at her. There was fear in her features, a new fear. It was no doubt about the choice she'd just made. She worried whether she'd made the right one.

"I love you, you know that?" he spoke, lowering back down, setting himself on the mattress beside her hip. "I love you so much Haley. When this is over, when you're all better and you _will_ be, I'm going to spend every second showing you exactly how much you mean to me."

"I love you too, Nathan." She answered, her wet eyes slipping salty tears down her face for the millionth time in recent memory. "I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through this year-"

"Hey, none of that." He reprimanded gently. "Don't apologize. Don't worry about anything except getting better. Ok?"

"Ok." She answered, then took a breath and let it out. "You know, they're gonna shave my head."

Nathan smirked at the statement and leaned down, placing a kiss on her hairline.

"You'll still be the most beautiful woman in the world." He replied. "You'll still stop my heart with just a look."

"Really?" she asked, with a watery smile.

"Really." He answered confidently, running his fingers through a few caramel colored locks. "But maybe we'll get a few wigs…just in case."

For the first time in a long time…

Haley laughed.

* * *

**A/N: Alrighty guys, I guess this is "See ya later!" For me for a bit, not too long though as I said, but regardless I should have the next chapter ready to be typed when I come back. And not to brag (which is what people say **_**right**_** before they brag) but it's gonna be a good'n and it was the easiest song in the world to put to it. Yes, I already know the song/chapter title I'm gonna use, cause really there's only one that fits with what I've got coming your way.**

**See you soon!**

**Torch**


	29. If I Die Young Pt 1

**A/N: Hello friends! I'm back! You have no idea how irritated I was by that looong delay of mine, and I'm pretty sure the only thing that I hated as much as not being able to update for you was that because of my stupid hand I also had to watch my guitar get all lonely and dusty! WHAT A CRUEL WORLD! But alas, my hand is no longer stupid nor is it in crazy pain when I type! Yes! It's not 100% but it's well enough that I can give you this.**

**Man and my trip and my midnight potter experience! There's so much that went down! INCLUDING getting in an argument at AMC with a crazy ass lady appropriately dressed as Bellatrix (HP fans know what I'm talkin about!) because she tried to saunter in and just get in line in front of people who were waiting for hours. She would've cursed me with her little light up wand if it had been real, no doubt!**

**But you're not here for that.**

**Alrighty now this chap is def the longest one I've ever done in the history of ever, I haven't decided just yet but I may break it into pt 1 and pt 2 (LIKE HARRY POTTER!) if I do, then pt 2 will be posted pretty quickly after pt 1 because you guys deserve a gift for putting up with my absence so kindly. **

**Last note, there are no lyrics at the beginning of this chap (if anyone even pays attention when I do that…hope you do cause all the songs I choose are heart worthy.) but think of it as the oth episodes without the opening sequence. Not the whole season 7 where there was never opening song to the credits, more along the lines of the earlier seasons where no song meant important, potentially devastating things were gonna happen.**

**ENOUGH WAITING!**

**x**

* * *

x

It was quiet.

Mostly, anyway; as quiet as it got around her in that place.

She could hear the rhythm of the machines nearby mirroring the uncertain workings of her treacherous body. She could occasionally hear people passing the closed door of her private room, sometimes their muffled voices accompanying them. But what she heard most of all was breathing.

Her eyes watched the sleeping form in the shadows of the dark room, stretched awkwardly between two chairs pulled to the right side of the bed. It seemed ridiculous, she was sure they could have given him a cot or something should he only ask for it. His hand was casually atop hers though she knew before sleep claimed him, the grip had been fierce…desperate.

She listened to the continuous music of his breathing.

In, out.

In, out.

It was the most peaceful she saw him anymore. When he was awake, when he sat with her, he was always trying to comfort or ease her; he tried to act like it was all ok. Everything would be ok and there was no possibility of any other outcome. But she saw through it all. Saw the tension in his smile and heard the minute quake of his voice. It told her all she needed to know.

He wasn't sure. He was scared.

They all were. She could see it when her parents shared looks they thought she didn't notice. When Quinn would let her eyes rest on her youngest sister a little too long or Taylor would be uncharacteristically quiet. She saw it in Lucas' eyes, heard it in Brooke's voice, and felt it in the uneasy touch of Peyton's hand. It was in the way Karen fussed for something she could do for her when there was nothing at all to be done.

But with Nathan…it was in his entire being. Despite all his attempts at brave certainty, she felt it. She felt it as if it were her very own fear. But perhaps that's what it was. His fear _was_ hers; hers was his.

And she was scared.

God help her, Haley was terrified down to the very essence of her being. It was this unwavering terror that kept her awake while Nathan dozed nearby. It was late…or early depending on the perspective of the clock, but she did not sleep. How could she?

Today was the day.

She couldn't hold anything against Nathan for being able to close his eyes and drift away. She knew for a fact it was sheer exhaustion that took him now. He needed rest, he deserved it. But Haley could help feeling selfishly torn. She wanted him to rest, but at the same time she wanted him awake with her. Experiencing a relative clarity of thought, her headaches yet to make an appearance…she wanted to share this time with him. There were things she needed to say in case…

Her heart sped up and she felt a lump form in her throat. She knew she'd have to die one day, everybody did. It was inevitability. But she wasn't ready.

Oh God, she wasn't ready She was supposed to be old when it happened. She was supposed to have decades of memories with her, children and grandchildren, nephews and nieces, and…Nathan. Years and years with Nathan.

She turned her head to watch him again as her heart constricted painfully. Her eyes burned with tears.

"Always and forever." She whispered to the dark.

It's supposed to be always and forever. They were supposed to live their lives together; they were supposed to grow old with one another. Her breaths were becoming heavier as her train of thought ran out of control in this direction. She was suffocating in her fear.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. They didn't deserve this, did they? Did she?

Yes.

She felt her mind reminding her of all the wrongs she'd committed. She tried to live right, but she knew she'd done wrong.

She'd lied. Drank on occasion. Abandoned her husband and their young marriage. Not to mention, of course, shooting a man.

Was this her punishment? Surely there were people far worse than her, people like Dan, who'd done awful, awful things and continued daily without pause. Despite anything she'd done, Nathan didn't deserve this; any of what she'd put him through. And now he was facing the possibility of becoming an 18 year old widower.

God.

_God. God please help him. Make it ok. Make it easy for him. Send him the people he needs, the life he deserves._

This was her prayer; for her husband…her young husband, all her family and friends. She pleaded that they be taken care of. If she…if she died, they would need it.

She felt the suffocating feeling again and her chest rose and fell more frequently, panting for air. She clenched her teeth together, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the blanket as she felt the familiar pain enter her skull. Each headache seemed to feel immensely worse than the previous one.

No.

Not yet. Not now.

There was only so much time. This meant they'd give her something for the pain and she'd be foggy or straight out delirious. She didn't want that; she wanted to stay clear-headed; she wanted Nathan to wake up and talk to her. She needed time with him, before there was none left.

"Nath…" she tried to speak through the pain and her tight jaw.

The small sound may as well have been a gunshot based on his response. His body jerked awake, the movement separating the two chairs and causing his father body to fall to the hard floor. The young man wasted no time in getting back to his feet, practically bouncing back up, and going to her side.

"Haley. Haley, baby…" he spoke in in desperation, seeing the woman he loved in such obvious pain.

Her every muscle was rock-hard with tension, tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. She arched her back a moment kicking her leg, searching for any kind of relief. He grabbed her hand, squeezing back with all the pressure she offered him.

"Nathan…" she forced out, releasing her clenched jaw and taking in big panting breaths.

"I'm here. I'm here it's ok." He spoke, unable to keep the crack from his voice. He ran his hand over her forehead and down her cheek before reaching across the bed for the call button. "I'll get some-"

"No." she interrupted, grabbing for his hand with a quivering hand. "No, Nathan, I need to…tell you…be-before they ta…take me."

"Sh, sh, baby." He tried to comfort her despite the moisture in his own eyes. "They're not gonna take you anywhere yet; not for hours. I'll get someone to help with the pain and then you'll just-just rest a while, ok?"

"No. No, Nathan…" she reached up, cupping his cheek with her clammy hand. "Nathan I…I have to…I want you to know…if I d-"

"No." he shook his head and sniffed at the threat of tears. "Don't do that. Don't you start acting like we won't see each other tomorrow because we will."

Nathan felt a treacherous tear slip out and continued.

"The surgery is gonna take a few hours,"

"Six." She elaborated, recalling what they'd been told and Nathan nodded in response.

"Yeah, about six hours, and then you'll sleep it off and tomorrow," he squeezed her hand and forced a smile. "Tomorrow I'm gonna be right here when you wake up. I'll be the first face you see, ok? That's how it's gonna be, so you don't have to worry about anything, alright?"

She saw how desperately he needed to believe his own words. She knew if situations were reversed, she'd be the same way. His survival depended on hers, just as hers would. They were linked, their hearts beating with and for one another.

This was how they loved. She knew it's what made it true; made Nathan her living, breathing 'once in a lifetime.'

"Nathan." She began, trying to keep control of her words and breathing. "I love you…without knowing how or when, or from w-where."

His brow furrowed a bit at the words and asked her softly.

"What's that?"

"Poem." She replied, with the thinnest of smiles coming through the pained expression. "I lo-love you straight-forwardly-"

Her recitation of the poem was cut off by the slow creaking of the door. The moment interrupted, the two pairs of eyes went in the direction of the sound and the presence of the last person either of them expected to see. Nathan rose to his full height defensively and took a step forward.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked protectively standing near his wife's bed.

Bettis shifted his weight in the still open doorway appearing what Nathan would almost call nervous. But it was gone after a second and the man spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake." He told them.

"So you wanted to come creeping into my wife's room while she slept?" Nathan asked angrily. "What, you didn't do enough already?"

"No." he immediately denied and cleared his throat, taking a step closer and Nathan noticed for the first time that his hands weren't empty. "With charges dropped, your things can be released. I thought you'd want this back as soon as possible."

He looked at the object in his hand a moment before extending his arm to hand it over. Nathan slowly took it and ran his hand over the book's cover in admiration.

"I, um, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize." He told the couple honestly.

Nathan opened his mouth to angrily derail the man's attempt, but was interrupted by his wife speaking first.

"Doing your job." Haley spoke her half sentence in defense of the man's actions.

"Well, yes, it was my job." Bettis agreed, though he left out what role his job played in earning him the extra cash he'd received while on the case. "But that's not what I'm apologizing for. You might not be aware, but your, uh, your husband told me on the bus that you were sick. I told him I'd have someone check you out right away, but I didn't follow through. Maybe this could have been interrupted before it progressed this far if I hadn't let it fall through the cracks. For that, I'm sorry."

There was a silence that followed and Nathan looked to his wife for a cue. He knew she wanted to respond in some way, knowing her it would be to forgive him and rid him of whatever guilt he, in Nathan's opinion, deserved to feel. When nothing came, he cast a quick glance to his wife the reason for her silence; he found her to be still, her eyelids down like drawn shades over her consciousness. So it fell to Nathan to respond and he looked down at the leather bound book in his hand once more before looking up at the man once more and speaking genuinely.

"Thank you."

The detective nodded.

"I hope everything works out well, I really do." Nathan nodded once more and then the man was gone.

Sitting down again beside her, he looked towards the book and toyed with the thought of opening it but didn't. It was hers, she wrote her thoughts, came up with her songs…her heart was within the pages of the book. Instead, he set it down on the side table and gave her his full attention. It was well before sunrise, so he was relieved to allow her the remaining hours of the night to sleep. He slid some hair away from her forehead. He noticed the cold beads of sweat plastered there; proof of the pain she'd been in before it became too much for her conscious body to withstand.

"God." He wrenched in a quiet whisper as his heart gave an aching pang that resonated through his entire body. He wrapped both hands around her still one. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward, pressing her hand against his forehead.

He couldn't take it anymore. Watching her endure so much pain, physical and emotion…it was killing him. Every second she hurt was an eternity to him. He'd give anything, _anything_, to take it from her; to take it _for_ her. And her eyes when she'd tried to talk to him, tried to say those unacceptable words.

'_If I die…'_

He wouldn't hear it. He wouldn't allow her to give any power to such thoughts. She would be fine…She had to be. Like he said, he would see her tomorrow when she woke and from there, life would return to normal; better even.

He had to believe that. Because if he didn't; if he allowed any other possibility to come to him, he wouldn't be able to breathe. Just the thought of losing her; his wife, his Haley.

No.

_No!_

He wouldn't think it. Just like he wouldn't fall apart. Straightening up, he sniffed and wiped at the stealthy tears that continued to betray him. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat and spoke to Haley's sleeping form.

"Everything's gonna be fine." His voice spoke with a determined strength as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Just fine."

He looked at the clock, mentally counting off how much time there was left before the surgery everyone was so nervous about. As he thought about the procedure as it had been explained to him, he brought his chair closer and freed one of his hands from their hold on hers; moving it to run carefully through her soft locks. He wondered what it would be like without them and tried to picture her without the delicate curtains framing her face. He tried to imagine lying in bed, curling his body around hers and cuddling close to bury his face in…nothing. The scent of her shampoo would no longer there to tickle his sense; just skin.

It gave new ache to his heart and he knew it would cause her pain as well. Haley had never been particularly vain about her appearance, but she did care that she looked nice. She wanted to look good; feel beautiful. It was something Nathan had tried to make sure he helped with since they first got together and he was surprised to discover the insecurity hidden in her confident front.

He had just promised himself to raise his efforts in this immensely when he drifted away to sleep once again.

* * *

"Nathan."

A voice called gently through his slumber. At first he thought it was part of his dream and didn't waken until he heard it again, accompanied this time by a touch. Nathan's eyes sprang open and he instinctively looked to his wife. He found her eyes right away, giving her a small smile of greeting. She returned it before nodding behind him. When Nathan looked over his shoulder, he was surprised to find they were no longer alone.

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter. Not only were they not alone, there were several people now with them. Haley's parents were their along with her older sister Quinn. Even though they'd approved of their relationship long ago, he couldn't help the familiar self-consciousness that came from being in the presence of his in-laws. He rose to his feet, wiping his hands on the thighs of his jeans.

"It's alright Nathan." His father-in-law spoke with a small smile, holding up his hand to ease the obvious anxiousness in the young man.

"What time is it?" Nathan asked, worriedly.

"Just after ten." Lydia replied to his question.

He sighed, relieved that it wasn't as close to the 'zero hour' as he'd feared. However that relief was quick to dissipate as he realized what he had to do now; the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"I'll give you some time." He stated, hating the thought of being away from Haley for even the smallest moment.

"Thank you." Lydia nodded with a smile.

Nathan leaned over, sharing a quick kiss with Haley and a quiet promise to return before rising to give her and her family some time alone. Quinn gave his arm a squeeze as he passed her. He'd never met her before this went down, but he already felt he had a decent read on her in addition to the stories Haley had told him over their time together. He could tell she loved her youngest sister very much. According to his wife, of all her siblings she was closest with Quinn.

The James girl followed him out of the room, leaving her parents to some private time with their last born. Once out in the hall, she saw Nathan let out a long breath with his back to her and leaned his forehead against the wall.

"Hey." She said softly, coming to stand beside him. She leaned her shoulder on the wall and looked at him, unsure what to say. After a moment, she settled on: "She knows, you know."

Nathan cleared his throat and forced himself to lift his head and face her.

"What?" he asked confused. "Knows what?"

Quinn stood up straight and elaborated.

"If you're worrying that Haley doesn't know how much you love her, how much she matters to you, how…" she paused, unable to keep the crack from sliding into her voice with the next words, "…how _lost_ you'd be without her… She knows."

The dark haired teen let out a humorless chuckle, if only to keep from breaking apart in front of her.

"Why aren't you in there?" he asked curious.

"I'll wait my turn. Sister, sister talk; I'd rather not have parental supervision." She joked before turning serious once again. "It's…important for them, you know? To have some time alone and honest. You know, in case…"

"Yeah, in case." He agreed with a nod and looked down the few feet down the hall to the door the James' were behind, those words Haley tried to say reentering his mind.

"Listen, can I get you something?" she asked. "Water, coffee, punching bag?"

"Yeah, a coffee would be great, thanks." He accepted, thankful for the opportunity to have a few moments alone.

When she nodded and left, Nathan sighed once again and returned to his previous stance. Leaning his head against the wall, he tried to control his breathing as more and more his thoughts ran out of his control.

Wrenching his eyes shut, he breathed in deep and held his breath, letting it out when his impulses took over and he felt his fist slam into the wall before him. He repeated the action again and again. His fist moving with increased force and frequency the more he did so. He grunted and growled; his sounds animalistic and full of every bit of pain he had kept hidden from the rest of the world.

Soon the tears came, but he didn't stop his relentless attack on the wall.

His chest was heaving heavy pants as his pain was finally given an outlet. It wasn't long before he heard someone approaching. But a new presence did nothing to stop his emotions; if it was an employee coming to berate him, he didn't care. He didn't falter, at least not until he felt a hand on his back and the concerned voice of a friend came to his ear. At that moment, his strength vanished entirely. Leaning more presently against the wall, the young man slid down until he met the floor.

"Nathan." Brooke again vied for his attention fearfully as she knelt down next to him. She'd never seen such a display from her old friend and it filled her with a nauseous dread. "Nathan, what's happening?"

Brooke looked up to Lucas and Peyton who held the same fear in their eyes upon finding Nathan in such a state.

"Is Haley…Did something happen?" she forced herself to ask, afraid of what it could be to incite such a strong emotional outburst from him.

Nathan forced his heavy breaths to allow words to escape as well.

"If I die." He spoke vaguely, confusing the trio before him. He then looked to Brooke, his eyes filled to the brim with tears desperate to follow those before them down his cheeks. "That's what she said. 'If I die' and now she's in with her parents…saying the same thing, because she might…"

"Nathan-"Brooke began with a slight shake of her head, not liking where the conversation was going. But he wouldn't allow her to deter him.

"She's saying goodbye's." he interrupted. "She's saying goodbyes and I…I can't take it. I can't heart it, I _can't_."

Brooke looked to Lucas for help not knowing what she was supposed to do; what could she do for her friend? Lucas thankfully understood her predicament and stepped forward. Kneeling down before the two he put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Nathan," he got his attention. "Come on; let's take a walk, you and me."

"No." he shook his head with a sniff. "There's not a lot of time before-"

"No one's gonna let her go anywhere without you, least of all Haley. We've got time."

Nathan tried to deny once more before Lucas' gently persistence won him over and he agreed. He decided he didn't want his in-laws to return to find a blubbering mess where their daughter's husband should be. He had to continue to remain strong; confident.

The brothers left down the hall; Brooke and Peyton watched them disappear together. Brooke already felt her eyes hot with tears from her brief interaction with the younger Scott.

"I've never seen him like that." Peyton spoke Brooke's thoughts aloud in a shocked whisper. The brunette looked at her friend and saw the other girl's eyes mirroring her own.

"What are we gonna do, Peyton?" she asked, searching for an answer she knew the other girl couldn't possibly have. "If something happens or it doesn't work? What are we gonna do?"

Peyton wrapped her arms around herself and looked as if she were about to attempt a response of some kind when the door feet away opened, drawing their attention.

"Hi girls."

"Hi Mrs. James." Brooke answered the woman with a small smile as the two entered the hall.

"Is Nathan around?" she asked, her gaze travelling over her shoulder.

"Lucas took him for a walk to…help." Peyton answered and the woman nodded as she felt her husband's large hand on her shoulder.

"Would you girls like to go in?"

Both nodded; Peyton wrung her hands a bit nervously while Brooke asked: "How's she doing?"

"Oh, she's fine, considering." The hand on her shoulder gave her a squeeze before she continued. "She seems to have a good grasp on things today."

"TutorGirl always shows up for test day." Brooke commented with a small smirk.

The two entered the room the couple had just left to see their friend. Haley looked up at them from the book in open in her lap; it was obvious she'd been crying. Peyton wondered how much of that was going to be done that day. How many tears would fall and splash and crash over the course of the next few hours and, for that matter, all the days that followed.

Haley closed the book and set it aside on the table once again and the girls exchanged soft greetings before a brief silence came upon them in which Brooke glanced nervously at the blonde with her.

Haley finally broke the silence, clearing her throat and asking.

"How's Nathan?"

"He's…" Peyton began, sharing another look with Brooke. "..He's taking a walk with Lucas right now."

Brooke, still silent, felt herself struggling with what to say and how to act. Nathan's words were ringing in her head.

'_She's saying goodbyes.'_

Brooke's heart constricted painfully. She didn't want that conversation. So taking a deep breath, Brooke tried to take the reins and steer the conversation in an optimistic direction.

"So we've gotta start cooking up details for a party once you're out of here." She offered, standing closer. "We could all use one right about now, what do you think?"

"Brooke-"

"Nothing too crazy." She continued, ignoring her friend's attempt to interrupt her with reality. "Just close friends, good music, and great drinks."

"Brooke-"she tried again.

"What do you think about-"

"Could you just shut up for a second?" Haley suddenly burst out at her friend.

Brooke immediately silenced and looked at the girl in bed. Peyton, having never been present for an outburst, looked with a shocked expression between the two of them. Brooke, herself having gotten slightly used to it in the time they were away, wasn't shocked but dejected that it had happened. She watched Haley as her jaw clenched together, looking up at the ceiling. Not knowing what to do for her friend, Brooke slid her hand into hers and immediately felt it tighten.

It was only a few moment before the near painful grip slackened and the girl released the breath from her chest. Haley looked between the two with tears sparkling her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She stated embarrassed and ashamed of what she couldn't control.

"It's ok." Brooke replied; it'd been a while since she'd been on the receiving end of one of them. "I was rambling, and I guess…I guess there are more important things to talk about."

Her tone was cautious; unsure and Haley knew why. Just like herself; afraid.

"You're gonna be fine." Brooke spoke suddenly, echoing the same words she heard from Nathan as well as her parents. Brooke mentally cursed herself for the weakness in her voice as she said it and then looked over to Peyton and nodded. "Isn't she?"

"Yeah." She whispered in response over the forming lump in her throat. She then cleared it and added strength to her words. "You're gonna come out of this, no problem."

Haley nodded, looking down and fiddling with her blanket.

"I've talked to my parents about…things." She said vaguely. "What to do about…"

She trailed off and raised her head to look at Peyton first of the two of them. Clearing her throat, she looked at her hands a moment before returning her gaze once more and beginning.

"There a box at the apartment, on the shelf in the hall closet, it's got s-stuff from the tour in it. There's a cd in there I want you to have, I got it from a girl handing them out outside a show one night. We talked a bit and she wrote her number on the case; I told her about you and Tric. When you have the time if you could just give it a listen, it's good stuff."

Peyton nodded, not trusting her voice but agreeing nevertheless with what seemed an unusual gift and request…at least to the outside observer. But the girls in the room knew the special connection the blonde had with music that meant something. And whatever she was telling her to listen to obviously meant something to Haley.

A tear fell down her cheek and she offered as good a smile as she could muster.

"I can't wait for you to introduce us." Peyton offered, sliding the optimistic assumption of the future into her reply.

"Brooke." She changed her attention now and the focus of that change shook her head, pressing her mouth into a tight line.

"Don't you dare." She stated firmly. "Don't even pretend that you're gonna leave me by telling me what I can have or take."

"Well I know how you feel about most of my stuff anyway." She teased with a grin. "But I'm not giving you any of it, so don't worry about it."

"Good." She stated with a firm nod.

"But-"

"No." she stated. "No, buts. No ifs or in cases. Nothing."

"Brooke please." She began and Brooke reluctantly sighed and allowed her to continue. "I've got money put away. I told my mom already to make sure you get it for rent and bills."

"Wow, Haley, I can't…"she tried to argue.

Haley interrupted her by grabbing her hand and Peyton's respectively.

"I need you two to promise me something else." She stared.

"Anything."

"Of course."

"If I really do…go," she fought out the last word. "I need you to look after the guys for me. Make sure Lucas remembers to laugh, don't let him be so serious all the time."

Her voice began to waver as her words continued and her tears produced themselves.

"And keep an eye on Nathan. I don't want him to-to be bitter and angry. Remind him that nothing that happened was his fault and that he deserves to live a good and happy life." The girls nodded teary eyed and Peyton wiped a sleeved hand over her eye while Brooke sniffed. Haley took a breath and went on. "And please, take care of each other…and your friendship. I know that things have happened in the past and it's tested it, but you're still such amazing friends. No matter what happens later, hold on to that; don't let that love be tainted or taken from you."

"And visit with Karen and…" her breath shook as did her voice as the droplets slid from her eyes. "And if you c-"the word was taken from her as a sob almost escape. "If you could…m-my parents."

The girls nodded feverishly, tears freely on their cheeks.

Unable to say or hear anything more, they hugged then. Their hands on arms holding one another for fear it would be the last moments they'd spend together.

x

* * *

x

**A/N: Wow, at more than 5,000 it's half of what I wrote. So this **_**will **_**be posted as PT 1 and I'll have PT 2 put up for you tomorrow night. Hopefully, like I said, although my hand **_**is**_** much better, it's not 100% yet and typing out all this took me a couple days because I had to stop after a while each time I started and give myself a break.**

**Hope you didn't hate it and I'll see you guys tomorrow night!**


	30. If I Die Young Pt 2

**A/N: As promised…here's part 2. I suppose some people might be thinking, why is she updating this twice instead of giving something over to Falling Slowly? ANSWER! Because as I said in part 1, this was written as one chapter…i.e. it's meant to be together and I want it to be read as close together as possible as if it were given to you in a single update. But no worries, Falling will be getting its attention within the next couple days!**

**PART 2!**

* * *

She held the pen tightly, concentrating all her energy on her hands as she attempted to move the instrument in the way that she wanted. She watched the ink come onto the page beneath it and focused. But despite her best efforts, Haley was again struck with anger and disappointment when she pulled the pen back to look at the word she'd written…or rather, the mess she'd made on the paper.

The girl took in the shaky mess that looked more like a shapeless scribble than a real word and groaned. As was her habit for the better part of her seventeen years, Haley ran her hand through her hair in her frustration, not remembering until her hand came in contact with her scalp that her hair was no longer there. Still not used to the strange sensation, Haley touched her fingertips to the emptiness, running her hand down and over and across her skull, fighting the urge to burst into tears.

She'd known it was coming. Not only that, but she when they'd actually cut and shaved away even the smallest trace of her hair, she'd barely bat an eye. Nathan had been at her side, holding her hand and no doubt assuming she'd begin to break down with the first snip of the scissors. But she hadn't. She'd only held his hand in return and waited silently, thanking the aides when they were done.

She could tell that Nathan didn't know what to say or do in those next few minutes with her. Eventually he'd awkwardly cleared his throat and told her that it looked nice. Haley knew he was trying to make her feel better, and offered him a small smile while glancing down at her hands. But it was what he did next that made her release a genuine smile. She heard his chair scoot back as he stood and then felt his lips touch the smooth skin.

She recalled the feeling of that previous moment during her current one. Her hand touching the unmarred skin; it felt surreal. Letting out a sigh she picked up the pen once again and determined to do as she started out to do. It was important.

It was only a few minutes later that Quinn entered her sister's room and was instantly caught off guard by what she saw, momentarily frozen in her steps. Her baby sister was sitting up, pen to a book in her lap, and bald. She forced herself to recover from her shock when Haley's eyes looked up her way.

"Stylin." She commented, coming close to the bed.

"You like?" she played along to keep from feeling the sadness at the mention of it. "Want to rub it and make a wish?"

Quinn laughed at that.

"Such a weirdo." She said, sitting down and leaning her elbows on the mattress. "Whatcha writing?"

"Nothing actually." She answered. "My, uh, my hand shakes and I can't even make a legible word. Look like a kindergartener trying to write their name for the first time."

"I'm sorry, Bob." She spoke genuinely. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Haley looked over at her sister and smiled.

"Yeah." She answered. "Yes, Quinn. There's something you can for me."

* * *

Lucas took his turn while Nathan waited in the hall.

This visit was one that Haley feared the most out of all her friends, and when she saw his face outside the door, she knew it was coming.

He came easily through the door and across the floor, not bothering with any nervous hesitations or cautious steps like the others did. He just came in and came to her as casually as he ever had; true to the form of the Lucas Scott she'd known for years.

The tall boy touched his fingertips to her cheeks, lightly trailing them down to her jaw. Their eyes connected as he did so and he broke the silence with two words he'd said so many times over the years; two words that brought tears to her eyes and a sob to her chest.

In as soft a voice as she'd ever heard him use.

"Hey buddy."

Just like that, she couldn't hold herself together any longer. All the words she'd thought about using, any message she settled on leaving him with vanished as though she'd never come up with anything. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward her.

He wrapped his long arms around her as she did the same around his neck. Holding each other, burying their faces, Haley sobbed like she hadn't since she lay with Nathan the day she learned what was wrong with her. Yes, she loved the girls, and they meant so much to her…but this was Lucas.

_Lucas._

Her very best friend.

Her buddy. _Her Lucas_.

They'd been through everything together; always able to count on the other, no matter what.

"I love you." She sobbed into his neck. "I love you, Lucas."

She could find no other words that mattered for him. That was the only message that needed to be spoken between them.

His muffled voice echoed her words and she could tell he was crying as well.

* * *

She felt him with her; beneath her, around her.

Lying down on the less than spacious bed, neither of them spared a thought to the awkward fit. They only cared that they were as close as physically possible…as wrapped up in one another as they were able. She listened to his heartbeat within his chest under her ear and counted the rise and fall of his chest, trying to match her own rhythm to his. His arm was wrapped around her, running his hand up and down, creating heat with the friction of the movement.

He was a duck on a pond.

On the surface he looked to be calm and serine, but what was below was an entirely different story. Much like the frantic movements of a duck's webbed feet ran wild under the water; Nathan was a perfect description of chaos beneath his exterior. He placed what was surely the millionth kiss on her forehead as he saw the clock.

It was time.

The thought that was tearing him apart. On one hand, he was eager for it to happen; for her to get better. On the other, this was no little procedure. It was brain surgery, and she could… a million things could go wrong. He couldn't wrap his head around any scenario that didn't end with her eyes opening and smiling that breathtaking smile in the morning.

They'd spent the last hour together in silence. Surprisingly comfortable silence. He lay with her, tangling their limbs and fingers together. He was overly thankful that she didn't try to say anymore goodbyes or last wishes, and he didn't fill the air with promises of happy endings.

No words passed. It was simply what it was. Lying with her, touching her, breathing the same moments with her; it was unmatchable. But finally the silence broke when he asked.

"Are you scared?" it was redundant, of course she was scared. If he was as scared as he was, there's no way she wasn't terrified beyond reason. But still he asked.

"I'm fine." She her lips moved against his chest.

"You're a little high on yourself." He began, feeling a smirk tug at his lips. "Going around –"

"Telling people you're all fine." She finished with him, and grinned herself.

"You remember that?" he asked, knowing they were coming through the door at any second now to take her away.

"I remember everything you've said to me." She replied, and then amended. "Most days, anyway."

He let the small reminder of her condition slide and went on to speak some more.

"So I don't have to remind you, then, that I love you?" his voice vibrated his chest beneath her. "I don't have to say that you're everything in the world that matters to me and that no matter what happens you'll never have to question how incredibly happy you've made my life; that always and forever means just that. Always and forever, no matter what happens today, tomorrow or a hundred years from now." He paused, a moment, taking a quiet breath and asking. "I don't have to tell you any of that?"

He heard her take a shaking breath before responding to him.

"No." she whispered, than lifted her head to look into his eyes. "But I'm glad you did."

She stretched up and pressed her lips into his.

"I love you Nathan." She stated simply. "Every second with you, good or bad, was perfect because it was with you. No matter what happens next, remember what an amazing guy you are, and that you made me happier than I'd ever been in my life."

"I will."

Then it ended. The door opened and their time was over.

He swallowed hard and held her hand as he walked alongside the bed that was being rolled from the room.

She saw them all in the hall; passing by everyone she loved. Her parents, her sisters, her best friends…her family. Everyone with shining eyes and encouraging words.

Nathan gave her a kiss and promised to be there when she got back.

And then they took her away and all he could do was watch.

Nathan stood statue still, watching her slip away to a place he wasn't allowed to go. He stared at the doors that swung shut after her. There were footsteps, and he thought he heard Karen say the word 'Chapel', but he gave no attention. Somebody put a hand on his shoulder, someone pat his back, and someone gave his hand a squeeze. But he didn't pay attention to any of the contact or the voices around him, he only remained staring at the door, praying with everyone in him that she'd come back through it again.

He finally looked away when something was held out for him. His shattered eyes looked down at the book he recognized as his wife's. He looked up and saw Quinn at the other end of the arm that held it and his own hand took it from her blindly.

"The last page." She said and walked away, presumably to join her family.

Confused, he opened it and thumbed through the pages until he found the one that was meant for him. The handwriting was clearly not Haley's, but when he read the words, he heard her voice as though she were standing behind him reading over his shoulder.

"_I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride…"_

Haley wrung her hands nervously as the hallways and corridors changed around her as they passed through the different areas of the hospital.

"_So I love you because I know no other way than this: where I do not exist, nor you…"_

They were in the operating room now. She looked around, shaking in the overwhelming cloud of intimidation.

"Alright Haley," the man who introduced himself to her yesterday, but whose name she couldn't recall spoke above her as he held an oxygen mask in one hand. "I'm gonna slip this on and you're gonna take some deep breaths for me and fall asleep. When you wake up, you'll be all better, ok?"

"_So close that your hand on my chest is my hand…"_

"I'm scared." She whispered, her breath fogging the plastic covering her mouth and nose.

"Don't be." He replied, the crinkle in his eyes telling her he was smiling underneath his paper mask. "We're going to take care of you."

It was the last thing she heard before the darkness came.

"_So close that your eyes close, as I fall asleep."_

* * *

The apartment door opened slowly, almost as if it was aware of the trepidation of the visitor. Peyton walked in carefully, having been unable to just sit and wait in the hospital anymore. So she came there, deciding instead to feel productive and do as Haley had asked her.

She found the cd exactly where Haley described it, in a box full of photos and flyers and memorabilia from the tour. She looked at the writing, smirking at the band's name sharpie'd across it before putting it in the nearby stereo and hitting play.

No time was wasted as a soft voice immediately began to fill the air.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

In the chapel, one long pew was almost completely occupied by all the people there to pray for the same thing. Every tear falling with the same name inside it.

_Sink me in a river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

Quinn was holding her sister in a fierce hold. In rare form, Taylor was breaking apart, leaning onto her sister for support and comfort. It was a side of her not on display for the world, but it was too strong to keep hidden now.

_Uh oh, Uh oh_

Lydia leaned forward, resting her folded hands on the bench back in front of her.

Praying for a miracle for her baby girl with tears shining on her cheeks as Jimmy kept a strong arm around her. She couldn't bear the possibility of losing her child.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother_

_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors_

Karen felt the pain as acutely as Lydia. In her mind, in her heart, Haley was every bit her daughter as well as the James'. She felt the same crippling stabs in her chest as they prepared to wait there for hours.

_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no_

_Ain't even gray and she buries her baby_

Keith held her against him as she silently cried on his shoulder. His eyes looking up to the ceiling as if looking for the answers they needed. As if expecting God himself would reach his hand down to offer what they needed.

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well I've had just enough time_

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in a river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

Brooke was holding onto Lucas.

Desperately grasping him as she would a life raft in a merciless sea while simultaneously trying to be the same for him. She felt in his tight grip that he wasn't handling it well. He was on the verge, and she couldn't blame him. As close as she and Haley had become, there were no words to define the relationship between Lucas and Haley. There was nothing to compare it to; a friendship like she'd never seen before.

As her tears escaped, she did her best to keep him afloat in the current of his own pain.

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_I've had just enough time_

It was impossible to keep it together.

As much as he tried, as much as he wanted to be strong for everyone around him, Lucas couldn't. Not now. Not for Brooke, not for Nathan, not for his mom.

The fear was too much, the concern …it was all too much.

The salty drops slipped out while silent pleas to God ran in a perilous storm through his mind.

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom_

_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger_

_Never known the lovin of a man_

_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

Nathan sat in the hall he'd yet to leave. Sitting against the wall, he held the closed book against his forehead, unable to control the swell of emotion within him.

Inside he'd read the poem Haley had begun to recite to him hours before. Clearly having dictated it to her sister to write for her. But under the neat, slanted scrawl of Quinn James was a series of shaky lines and curves that she had been sure to write herself.

In a scribble that could have belonged to a child, had been three words.

Always and forever.

_There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever_

_Who would've thought that forever could be severed by_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_I've had just enough time_

In the operating room, the head surgeon spoke to his assisting colleague, narrating everything he saw and did; giving direction to the younger man. It was going textbook perfect so far.

Only a few moments later, however, that changed.

_So put on your Sunday best boys, and I'll put on my pearls_

_What I never did is done_

Peyton sat on Brooke's mattress, flipping through a scrapbook of hers. Pictures of all of them scattered throughout the pages. The unknowing smiling faces looking back at her pulled at her heart; they had no idea what was coming.

She felt a smile tug the corner of her lips as she came across a picture from the Tric costume party. She knew it wasn't the best night for any of them, but in the picture she found, she saw Haley and Brooke, arms around each other and genuine smiles on their faces.

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_

_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner_

The surgeons and nurses scrambled with hurried order. The head giving direction; his voice raised to be heard over the ringing alarms of the machines around them.

The chaos of the room going unnoticed only by the sleeping girl on the table they worked to save.

_And maybe then you'll hear the words that I've been singing_

_Funny when you're dead how people start listening_

She was in a white dress.

It took her a few moments to realize where she was.

Haley looked down at the sand beneath her bare feet and then squinted against the sun to look up the beach.

She knew this place.

Something was different than the last time she was there.

She didn't know how she got to the beach; but she stood looking out at the water.

She felt a strange pull coming from off shore.

A soft hum that she wanted to follow.

Without thinking about it, she let it over take her and took her first steps out into the water.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

They didn't know how much time had passed before the chapel door opened with a soft creek.

Nathan quietly entered the church room, feeling out of place and unworthy of being there. He saw everyone sitting together but walked by them; going instead to the front. He stood before the rows of candles; unsure of the exact protocol for it, Nathan lit one anyway.

He watched the flame glow and dance in her name.

_Sink me in a river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

He turned around, finding eyes looking his way. The looks in them certainly the same sight that was in his own.

The all felt the fear and pain; but at the same time, he knew everyone's was different. Everyone had their own strand of agony for this. No two were the same.

_Uh oh (Uh oh)_

_The ballad of a dove (Uh oh)_

He began walking towards them; ready to sit and pray and beg for a miracle.

Just one. Just for Haley.

_Go with peace and love._

The water was waist high now.

The waves splashing against her dress, the white material turning transparent.

But it didn't bother her.

Haley continued her steps forward, further and further out into the water.

Closer and closer to what called her.

Something made her look back.

She turned over her shoulder and saw someone else.

He was on the shore in a white suit.

He did nothing but stand on the sand, watching her, but she still somehow knew what he wanted.

He wanted her to come back.

She turned back toward the horizon, not knowing what to do.

He wanted her to return.

But the call was so potent, so beautiful.

_Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket_

_Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh_

Before he could get to the pew, the door opened and stole his eyes.

Someone said a name; his name. They wanted him. His heart leapt to his throat as he recognized him as one of the doctors whose hands held his wife's well-being. For some reason his first thought was to wonder how many places he looked before finding him in there.

He shoved it away and quickly went to the man, trying to read his face for a clue to what was about to be said to him, but he couldn't focus.

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_I've had just enough time._

Elsewhere… some somewhere far away was a vacant beach.

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls._

* * *

_**x**_

_**x**_

_**A/N: Alrighty, what did you think? Honest time! I'm a bit nervous about this one, other than one chapter in my old fic 'Leaving Town Alive' I don't have any experience with song-fic-ness. But this song totally (to me in anyway) fit with the montage of scenes imagined so perfectly. I love this song. It's a pretty pretty one.**_

'_**If I Die Young' belongs to The Band Perry**_

'_**Sonnet XVII' (aka the poem for Nathan) belongs **_**to the awesome Pablo Neruda**

**Hope you like!**

**I won't keep you waiting long for the next chap. **


	31. Eight of Nine

**A/N: Heylo all! I gotta say that I'm super ridiculously banglemagdicatedly (a word? In my world!) blown away by the responses to the last 2 chapters! Wow, I can't believe how awesome you guys are! I can't say how happy ( I wish I had another word for happy but it's late and I can't focus enough to even make up a word right now) I was to read all your words and know you truly appreciated and felt the same things I felt while I was picturing it in my head!**

**On top of that, I'm terribly sorry to have left you where I did for so long; for my reasons see the latest chapter of Falling Slowly (shameless plug? You bet!) –Added on days later—on top of the already made excuse, we then had a last minute trip out of town this past weekend to see my cousin and make sure all was good with her and her bun in oven.**

* * *

"_The smell of these halls brings temporary comfort_

_As the oxygen flows through my blood_

_El Corazon was poisoned tonight_

_She's on her eight of nine."_

'_Eight of Nine'_

-Ataris

* * *

X

There was a heavy silence in the small space as Brooke busied herself by watching the light switch from number to number with each level the elevator climbed. She bit her lip, shifting her weight from foot to foot, her hands continuously adjusting their hold on the vase of flowers she held…Stated simply, Brooke was nervous.

She cast her eyes aside to Lucas whose hands were in his pockets. He didn't make any of the anxious movements his girlfriend made, but Brooke didn't need to see them to know he felt what she did. He was worried, to the point of extreme unease.

It had been a day and a half ago that Haley returned from the operating room and a long hour since they finally received that much awaited call from Nathan. Brooke inspected the flowers in the vase, keeping her eyes on the bright colors as she recalled what Lucas had relayed to her from the conversation with his brother.

"How serious is it?" she questioned, trying not to let her voice shake. "Is it permanent?"

Lucas only shook his head.

"I don't know." He replied honestly.

Brooke shook her head now, mentally assuring herself that it wasn't permanent; it couldn't be. When Lucas told her what had been said, when she heard the words from his mouth she was sure it had to be a mistake. But then again, now that she thought about it that had been the theme of their lives lately. It had to be a mistake that the detectives were looking for Haley, that she'd shot Dan, that she was so sick…now this.

Before another word was passed between them, the bell gave off a soft ding and the doors slid apart to reveal the floor her friend was moved to after the surgery. Lucas touched his hand to her lower back and urged her off the elevator and across the floor. They followed the directing signs and found it didn't take long to end up standing outside the door they needed. Lucas set his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it for comfort.

"Ready?"

"Not really." She answered, but sighed and opened the door anyway.

When they entered, Nathan's eyes went up to them and Brooke forced a smile and a greeting. Haley was lying on her side facing Nathan, her back to the door and made no move to acknowledge their entrance. The couple, however, couldn't blame her under the circumstances.

"Hi." Nathan answered his voice rough. He gestured with his head toward Haley. "She fell asleep a few minutes ago."

"Oh." Brooke replied, setting the flowers on the side table and coming to stand behind Nathan's chair. She put her hands on his shoulders, giving them a squeeze. Nathan put his own hand over one of hers in a gesture of thanks for the comfort. "How's she doing?"

"She's, um, She's pretty upset." He ran a hand down his face, still unshaven from the time he'd spent refusing to leave her side. "She's taking it hard, you know?"

"I bed." Brooke whispered moving to stand directly beside the bed and looking down at her friend.

"What did the doctor say?" she heard Lucas ask, but her attention was kept solely on Haley.

Where her hair used to be, there was now white bandaging wrapped around; almost looking like she wore a white knit cap atop her head. Over the unrolled gauze was a white mesh cover, the stark cleanliness of the dressing almost fading into the pillow case beneath. Her skin pallid skin didn't look extremely different from what it had been before the surgery days ago, but they'd been well informed that the recovery period wouldn't be complete overnight. Her body had been through a terribly taxing ordeal and that included the surgery.

Brooke did her best to blink back tears; laying her hand against her cheek. It was only a moment before Haley stirred under Brooke's touch. She watched her eyes open, first only looking directly ahead of her before up at Brooke's face. The brunette gave her a smile and a softly spoken "Hello."

Brooke realized her error when the other girl's eyes filled and she looked away, rolling onto her back and choosing instead to look up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry, I-"Brooke stopped her apology, realizing it did no good; but her words came out in habit. "I wasn't…" she sighed and finished quietly. "…thinking."

She sighed once more and let her head hang a little bit and put her hand on the tearful girl's arm.

Haley tried to get herself under control as she felt her despair well up in her throat. She could feel the hand that rested on her bicep from the girl at her bedside. She took a deep breath and looked over to the two young men. She felt a sharp stab in her heart as she watched their lips move, knowing they were talking yet not a sound reaching her.

There was only silence; a terrible, all-consuming silence.

She recalled those first moments after waking up and the utter panic and terror that filled her when she realized she could hear nothing around her. Not the beeping of the machines, not her panicking breaths, not Nathan's voice as he tried to find out what was wrong and soothe her. She had no idea how loudly she'd informed Nathan of what was wrong, even her own voice was nonexistent, but the vibration in her chest and the itch it gave her throat had given her a clue that it had been fairly loud. Being unable to hear herself speak, she was unaware of the volumes her own voice would reach in a habitually need to hear herself.

Here she was, lying there amongst her husband and her dear, dear friends and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and be swallowed whole by the Earth. Angry that she was once again fighting tears, she looked over to the side table for the notepad that had been left there and noticed the flowers as she did. The bright colors appeared to be mocking her with their proposed cheerfulness, but she knew it wasn't intended as anything like that.

Not trusting herself to speak without shouting, she pointed at the flowers than to Brooke. Thankfully, the girl seemed to understand what Haley was asking and nodded; Brooke did bring the flowers. Haley tried to make her lips form a smile of gratitude but knew without looking in a mirror it was less than genuine. She wondered how long they'd all be staying.

It wasn't that she didn't appreciate them or their want to be there with and for her; it was just that she didn't have the energy to put on a brave face and smile for very long. She wanted to be allowed to feel all the emotions that swirled in her chest.

When Brooke gave her arm a squeeze Haley focused back on her the girl bit her lip and Haley tried to read her sad eyes. She obviously wished to speak to her; comfort and reassure her with whatever words she'd use. At the thought, Haley closed her eyes and tried to imagine it. What words would she say if she knew Haley could hear them? What were the last words she'd spoken to her before the surgery?

'_Go get 'em, TutorGirl.'_

Haley remembered hearing it before she was completely gone from the hall on her way to the operating room. She could almost grin at the term of endearment being used in such a serious event.

She suddenly jerked, opening her eyes when she felt someone touch her shoulder. She'd never get used to that. But unless she was already looking at someone, there didn't seem to be any other way to get her attention other than to touch her in some way while there was no way of warning about it.

She looked up at Lucas who looked up at Lucas. His lips didn't move to say anything, instead he only looked down at her a moment before giving her a careful hug. She softly returned it, still waiting for more strength to return to her body.

When he rose again, her eyes went to Nathan. Her husband…would she ever hear his voice again?

Nathan came close to her side and held her hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing the back of it. She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand in return.

"Brooke." He spoke, getting the other girl's attention, he then pointed at the table. "There's a notepad and a pen there, can you hand it to me?"

Brooke did so, finding the small memo pad and giving it silently to him. He sighed silently, scribbling on the paper and feeling nearly nauseous that it was his only form of communication with his wife. He held it out for her to see.

_Finding the doctor._

_Do you need anything?_

She fought the moisture of despair and anger gathering at the sight of the notebook and shook her head with as much of a smile as she could muster. He set the small book down on the bed and spoke a few words to Brooke once more. Haley watched him do so and couldn't keep her head from reeling with envy for the other girl.

It would be ok. She tried to tell herself this…tried to convince herself. It was only temporary. It would get better and she would relish and absorb every sound in her life on an entire new level. It was going to be just fine. It had to.

She looked again towards Lucas and was surprised that, for all his past experiences with maintaining a stoic sort of aloofness, she could plainly see it on his face. But it wasn't just that _she_ could see it; it was that she could read him in a way that didn't require their years of friendship. If she had met him only moments ago, she'd be able to see the sadness there, the concern and, most of all, what she read as pity.

It hurt to see there. She didn't want to see it, so she looked away. Her eyes down in her lap, her fingers toiled with the edge of the small notepad. This was her connection to everything that was her world now…and it did it no justice whatsoever.

Nathan's soft voice could come from the pages. Brooke's laughter couldn't ring out, nor could Lucas' thoughtful tones or the inflections of Peyton's sarcasm. Her mother couldn't sing to her from a piece of paper.

Her heart constricted at the thought….music.

It was such a big part of her life…of _her. _

Beethoven wrote music without being able to hear, but she wasn't Beethoven. He was a genius…she was just Haley. Even if she found a way…if she somehow was able to put something together using echoes of remembered sounds, she'd never get to truly experience it. She'd never have that moment when she would hear one of her songs come completely together for the first time.

No.

She couldn't think that way. She had to be positive.

But she couldn't stop the thoughts.

Nathan loved to hear her sing. Music was a part of their story. It was almost like another partner in their relationship as basketball was for him. What could she be to him now? She was his bald, deaf wife. A stone around his neck, nothing he could be proud of.

Unable to help it, she felt the tears begin to escape. She sniffled, trying in vain to hold back but it was too overwhelming. It was now that she finally looked up from the thin blanket across her lap where the droplets fell when she felt the bed shift with added weight.

Nathan was gone, as was Lucas, and Brooke had moved to sit on the mattress. Haley saw her friend also had tears on her cheeks. Knowing they were there because of her only made her cry harder. Despite her efforts, once it had started, it was impossible to get ahold of. Haley put her hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the sounds that might escape as sobs. She found herself quickly wrapped up in Brooke's arms and held against her.

Her mind provided her with a memory of a similar moment between the two of them. Brooke giving her soft "shh" sounds and telling her everything was going to be ok. How she wished for that memory to repeat itself; hear Brooke speak those words to her again.

In her depressed state of mind, it was impossible for Haley to even realize she was lucky to be alive. She'd survived through the surgery. She'd been "told" that they were able to remove more than 80% of the mass that invaded her frontal lobe before what was apparently a "severe seizure" interrupted the process. These were all things that were written down in the very notepad forgotten on her lap right then, along with words like 'brain bleed,' 'swelling', and 'tests'.

Yes, she was lucky to have woken up, let alone be lucid and maintain memories and cognitive function. This is what she was told, at least it's what she was told directly before the doctor had used the phrase "…as far as we can tell…" So for all anyone knew, there were things she couldn't remember or do and they just haven't asked the right questions yet.

She didn't want any repeats of the recent days: of blank spots in her memories and needing assistance with the smallest of tasks. Wasn't it enough that they'd taken her ability to listen?

After a few minutes in Brooke's arms, she felt a direct, purposeful squeeze and figured her attention was being requested. Looking back up, she saw the Scott men return with the doctor.

Wiping her face with her hand, hating that they'd seen her like that, Haley grabbed the notepad and shakily wrote:

_Permanent?_

She held it out for Nathan to take and watched his face as he looked it over before showing it to the doctor. Brooke held her more tightly.

From her place on the bed, Haley sat up a little straighter and tried to catch Nathan's eye. She couldn't read her husband's face. He wasn't looking at her. She swallowed hard, realizing that Lucas, too, was avoiding eye contact. Her heart hammered in her chest. Why weren't they looking at her?

Nervous, terrified; she did her best to keep her voice under what she guessed to be a controlled volume.

"What?"

* * *

Xx

* * *

Xx


	32. Just Might Make Me Believe

**A/N: Here we go! Fun fact, I got two stories on deck in my brainpart. I won't start a new one until I finish one already in progress, and it's this lovely lady here that's the closest to being finished. So once it's over, expect more stuffs from me while I live in denial over my addiction to these!**

**PS, this isn't exactly dialogue heavy, it's pretty internal and whatnot, but don't worry, I've had this whole thing planned out since I started it way back when, I know what I'm doing. And I promise, Naley won't be shrouded in darkness forever….WINK!**

* * *

"_But if you can look in my eyes_

_And tell me we'll be alright_

_If you promise never to leave_

_You just might make me believe."_

'_Just Might (Make Me Believe)'_

-Sugarland

* * *

X

The streets changed; familiar buildings slid past the window as Haley watched. It had been almost a week now since the day she woke up to a silent world and she was finally released from the sterile surroundings she hated so much. Her strength had returned to a more livable level and her color was returning to her skin; her overall health was improving they said.

She was sure she could have benefitted from some more time in the hospital despite what she may have wanted, but their insurance had already been stressed to the max. She'd been kept long enough for her numbers to improve and a couple visits from a counselor who wanted to make sure Haley's recent "loss" wouldn't send her into a spiraling depression. She hated those meetings.

Haley sat there on the bed while the woman visited her and Nathan's laptop on her legs between them. Her husband bought and installed a program on the computer that, when turned on, typed out what the microphone heard. He said it was apparently used for note taking during lectures, or something along the lines of dictation. As grateful as she was for the thought, it disturbed Haley that she required subtitles in her day to day life, just as she was annoyed to not be able to continuously look at the person she was talking to; having to always glance back down at the damn screen. None the less she'd sat there reading over the platitudes the screen typed out for her and replied when necessary to hurry the meeting along.

They were given instructions for her at-home recovery as well as recommendations for therapists and an ASL tutor; not to mention multiple prescriptions and a schedule of appointment dates for the many, many follow-up returns she'd have to make.

Haley had absolutely no idea how they were going to even _try_ to afford all of it. It ate away at her mind when she wasn't engrossed in thoughts of disgusted self-deprivation for other reasons. She and Nathan were never exactly rolling in money during their marriage, not that they were completely broke either, but they had had plans and budgets set up by her that allowed them to remain comfortable in their expenses. She had the money left over from the tour, but even with that, she wasn't deluded enough to think that they'd be able to take care of the amount of bills that would now be flooding their lives.

Yet another way she'd messed up their lives.

Nathan had been at her side during all of it. He held her hand whenever the doctors came around and held _her_ when she broke apart and sobbed her soul out into her pillow. Night would come and as the world fell into slumber, Haley secretly fell apart…and then she'd feel warm arms suddenly wrapping around her and holding her close as Nathan moved to lie in bed next to her.

Haley let out a sigh that didn't go unnoticed by her husband behind the wheel. Nathan glanced toward her, watching her watch the window. He was at a genuine loss for what to do for her.

Sure he could buy some computer programs and set up a few things around the apartment to make it a little easier to get by day to day; but those were all things that would help with her…condition. Nathan wanted to help _her._

He wanted to somehow assure her that it was ok; that it would _be_ ok and he was always going to be there with her no matter what. Nathan wanted to see her smile, really smile. He wanted her laugh in his ears again. He wanted to help her heart, for he could see it was broken.

He just didn't know how. With a quiet sigh of his own, he pulled in front of the building and turned off the car. It was now that she turned to look at him and Nathan reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"We're home." He said quietly, watching her watch his mouth.

After a moment she turned away to look out the window and up towards where their apartment was; theirs again now that Brooke had moved out. She turned back to him and asked in a controlled voice.

"Is anyone here?" it was one of the few things she'd gladly taken away from the doctors. She learned how to better understand keeping her volume at a reasonable level despite her inability to hear it.

She knew Brooke had a habit of turning events into bigger events and had mentioned before the surgery that she would be throwing Haley a party when she was released. Haley loved Brooke, but it was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

Nathan nodded and held up a hand…five people. Haley easily guessed who the five were and took a breath to prepare herself. She self-consciously touched a hand to the fabric tied around her head, hiding the sight of her hairless scalp.

Nathan saw this and squeezed her hand once more for her attention. Her face returned to him and he could see the moisture in her eyes. At the sight, he cupped a hand around her cheek, stroking the skin with the pad of his thumb.

He looked intensely into her eyes, hoping to send her, through them, all he wanted to say and all he wanted her to know. He leaned in to place his lips against hers and was surprised when she turned away, leaving him feeling fairly foolish.

He heard her sniffle as she looked down at the car's floor and brought her hand up to wipe at her cheek where a tear had escaped. Nathan didn't know what to feel. She'd never done such a thing. Since their first kiss, there had never been one that was rejected in such a way.

He tried to tell himself not to take it personally; just as he would during her outbursts against him. But he knew this was different. She couldn't control those explosions of behavior…this action was a choice she made on her own. He tried to rationalize how much she was dealing with, but no matter what his mind supplied, his heart couldn't keep the stinging feeling from his chest.

Hearing the door being opened, he saw Haley moving to exit the car. Swallowing the moment Nathan exited as well and rounded over to her side. He made it before she was completely out and put a hand on her elbow and the other around her waist. Yes, she was better, but she still wasn't completely back at her normal level and was instructed to take it easy.

Nathan didn't want her to feel smothered or helpless, but at the same time he wanted to be absolutely sure she was alright at all times. He helped her out and held his hands where they were before asking.

"Ok?"

She nodded and Nathan grabbed the bag of her things from the back before they began walking. As they made their way toward the stairs, her eyes caught the sight of someone in a ground level apartment shamelessly staring at them through their window. Haley had to move her eyes quickly away as she once again fought tears. She was so sick of crying.

Nathan brought her to the stairs and they both jerked when a light unexpectedly flashed in their eyes. Through her now spotted vision, Haley could see a man who had apparently been waiting on the stairs for them. She didn't get a good look at him before the light flashed again and she had to force her eyes downward. She felt Nathan release her shortly after and for the moment was grateful for her husband's protective temper.

The moment the bright flash filled his gaze, Nathan heard a voice following it.

"Mr. Scott." A man's voice demanded his attention. The man said his name and suddenly started asking a thousand questions at once. It seemed impossible for so many words to come so quickly from one person.

Nathan growled, holding a hand out in front of them to keep the man away as another light quickly followed.

"Get the hell out of here!" Nathan commanded.

But the man didn't care to listen to Nathan's orders and only turned his attention to what was considered the bigger story…or rather…_who._

"Mrs. Scott." He tried now for Haley's attention. "Mrs. Scott."

"Back off!" Nathan threatened, tightening his hold on his wife.

"Come on, Mrs. Scott, 100 bucks if you come clean and drop the act." He continued, bargaining as if he was certain Haley was faking it. He raised one hand and snapped his fingers. "Hey! Over here, I know-"

Before he could finish, Nathan lost the threadbare reign he had on his temper. The young man let go of his wife and grabbed the man by the shirt and pulled him roughly off the step he had been on blocking their way up. He threw him to the hard concrete effortlessly and barely a second after he landed with a grunt, Nathan grabbed the camera so viciously the strap snapped under the sudden force.

He gathered it up and spoke darkly to the fallen man.

"You can tell any of your little friends I'll do worse to them if any of you ever come around my wife again."

The then threw the camera to the same concrete with all his strength, the smashing sound hardly satisfying compared to what he wanted to do to the man's face.

He returned to Haley and, not wanting to spend any more time around the parasite, chose to take her in his arms and carry her up the stairs. She didn't protest; she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against it; her warm tufts of breath tickling his skin.

Once at the door, he set her down on her feet, knowing she wouldn't want anyone to see her in such a way.

"Are you ok?" he asked, rubbing his hand from her head, down her face to her shoulder. Haley was a pro at reading this question on people's lips; she was asked it a thousand times a day. She nodded.

"Thank you."

He gave her a nod and put a kiss on her forehead before grabbing the door handle. Haley pondered the doorbell next to the frame. It definitely hadn't always been there and she wondered what the point of it was. She couldn't exactly hear a doorbell chime, could she? Of course, it could've been something added while she'd been away to all apartments in the complex. She sighed the thoughts away and looked ahead of them as Nathan opened the door.

Inside the apartment Brooke, Lucas, Peyton, Karen, and Keith stood under a large "Welcome Home" banner each of them lifting up a small marker board with the word 'Surprise!' written across it. Everyone smiled and Haley couldn't help the one that tugged at her own lips. Nathan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. When she looked up at him she saw he was looking at her with caution in his eyes. He wasn't sure how she would take the little get together Brooke set up. Haley couldn't blame him, but she was surprised to by exactly how much her heart swelled at the sight of her friends standing there smiling at her.

She looked down at herself for a second and then felt herself touching the scarf on her head once again, feeling incredibly self-conscious in front of them. When she glanced up again, they were all looking at her still and she could see the tension waiting amongst them. She gave them a smile before speaking.

"Thank you, guys. This is…" her eyes travelled over everyone. "Thank you."

She watched the tension disappear; everyone seemed to visibly relax before coming forward and exchanging hugs and kisses with her. There were drinks and snacks set up on the counter but Haley didn't have much of an appetite; an apparent side effect of one of the pills. As she swept her eyes over everything set out, she caught sight of something that she knew for a fact wasn't there before.

Brooke noticed Haley's line of sight and pulled out her cell phone with a smile. She dialed the number and held the small object up to her ear and waited for the ringing to start. It rang once on her end before the ringing filled the apartment from the phone that simultaneously began flashing a light on and off that was impossible not to notice.

Haley jumped when the strange looking phone started blinking sharply on and off in front of her. She looked around and saw Brooke on her phone who gestured for her to go ahead. Confused but curious, Haley felt pretty ridiculous picking up the phone and holding it to her ear. Her brown eyes looked at the base of the phone and saw a square screen light up. She glanced aside at Nathan who had his eyebrows raised in anticipation and she, once again, felt ridiculous when she spoke into the speaker.

"Hello?" she shook her head with a creased brow and looked over to Brooke.

"Hey there, pretty lady." Brooke spoke back with a smile. She nodded back over to the phone and Haley returned her sight to the same screen and saw that Brooke's words had come up on it.

She let out a small laugh she couldn't help. Never in her life would she have thought she'd be so relieved to be able to do something as simple as use the phone.

"Now if you'll look at the hot guy by the door, you'll see another little something." Brooke suggested into the phone, getting her friend to turn her head over to where Lucas was standing by the door.

Lucas gave her a slight grin and stepped outside; closing the door behind him. A few seconds later, a chime rang through the small space where they all stood, but what Haley noticed was another light flashing; several of them, it seemed. It was only then that Haley noticed there were new lights on the wall in the living room, kitchen, hall way, and she went ahead and assumed she would find one in the bathroom and bedroom; all of them flashing. Lucas then opened the door and reached out of view of the door way, pressed the button again and set off the lights once more.

Haley sent him a thankful smile and then spoke once again.

"This is too much, you guys. It had to be so much work." She told them.

She received a series of headshakes in return.

Sometime later found Haley in the couch sandwiched between Brooke and Peyton. They spoke in turn, allowing Haley to look from one to the other, doing her best to apply the lip reading techniques they'd tried to teach her in the hospital. For the most part, she thought she was doing a pretty good job of following along. Every now and then she would find herself believing it to be a word or words that didn't make sense to the conversation so Haley would repeat it to the girls to make sure.

Haley glanced over her shoulder to the guys, and watched them talking to each other. She thought about trying to decipher their lips from across the room, but ultimately felt it would be equivalent to eavesdropping.

"How's he doing?" she asked when she returned her attention to Brooke. Brooke looked at her as if confused for a moment so Haley elaborated. "He seems sad. At the hospital…"

At the hospital, Lucas had trouble looking at her. He couldn't keep eye contact for long, his smiles were forced and his visits were short and sporadic. It almost felt like it was too hard to see her…like her best friend couldn't stand to be around her. She looked at her hands a moment as the thought crossed her mind, then back up at Brooke.

"He's ok." Brooke answered. "I think he feels like it's partly his fault."

Haley concentrated for the few moments it took Brooke to speak. She sighed at the information and shook her head.

"I think…I think he feels if he hadn't taken you away…"

Haley shook her head and looked away, effectively ending the girl's sentence.

Guilt.

There was plenty of it going around. Everyone seemed to want a piece of blame for what happened. It was ludicrous. Lucas wasn't to blame any more than Nathan was. If there was a person that was at any sort of fault for anything that happened or was happening, Haley knew it could only be her. It was her body. She should have realized something was going on long before it got so extreme. She was aware that she had been getting headaches a lot more often than she normally would in the spans of time they would come.

She couldn't recall exactly when it started, but knew that in recent months she'd gone through more Advil than she ever had in her entire life combined. At the time it was happening, she could only assume it was stress related; there had been so much going on. Marrying Nathan, arguing about Chris, going on tour, coming back to so many cold shoulders, hearing the word 'divorce' come from his mouth, and then just for cosmic kicks she had also fallen behind in her classes. It was all such a heavy burden to bear and it had weighed deeply on her mind, she had no reason to not assume the increase in headaches could be contributed to it all.

She should have known, somehow, that it wasn't something more; something sinister. But she didn't pay it that sort of attention. She would only toss back a couple of pills and keep on digging away at the mess that seemed to be burying her.

The fault didn't lie with any of them; it was hers, and now she was being punished for it.

X

* * *

X

The guests left as the sun began to set and Nathan got to work cleaning up, instructing Haley to lie down and get some rest. She was supposed to be taking it easy after all.

When everything was done, Nathan headed down the hall and paused at the closed door. He sighed, and slowly opened the door. She hadn't turned on the lights, but it wasn't yet dark enough to have a too major an effect. Nathan found her immediately, standing at the closet door facing the mirror that hung there. She didn't do anything other than look into it for several seconds, during which time Nathan for some reason chose not to reveal his presence to her.

He watched as her hand then moved slowly, almost cautiously, upwards as if she were afraid of whatever she was doing. Slowly, she reached behind her head and undid the loose knot on the back of the scarf; unwinding it with a painfully slow speed. Once it was completely removed from her head, she let it fall from her hand to gather beside her foot.

Although he wanted to think he was above it, Nathan found himself unable to not look at the pale, round shape that was where her hair should be. He couldn't keep from conjuring up all the memories he had of running his fingers through her soft, beautiful locks…and then felt guilty for doing so. That was when he heard the first unsteady breath that came from her and knew that at that very moment, she was a breath away from crying in the dark.

He stepped fully into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. This was for no one else to see or know. He was crossing the room to get to her, almost directly behind her when he heard her voice.

"I was never very beautiful." The shocking lie reached his ears and he froze in his steps, able to see her now looking at him from the mirrors reflection. "I was never delusional into thinking I was some…extremely gorgeous person. I knew that."

Nathan shook his head, but her eyes had moved from looking at him through the mirror to looking at her reflection once again.

"But it was ok; _I _was ok with it." She went on. "I was always …nice looking. Pretty for a small town, girl next door. There were times though, when I _felt_ beautiful…almost all of those were with you." She gave his reflection a sad smile before looking back at herself and running her hand over her scalp, her voice breaking. "But now…"

Nathan didn't wait another moment before closing the distance between them and turning her around to face him. He put his hands on her cheeks and bent down just enough to ensure he was right in front of her.

"Don't say that." He told her, running his thumb across her cheek as emotions fought to overtake him. "Don't ever talk about yourself like that. You. Are. Beautiful."

He searched her eyes, looking for a sign that she understood him…that she believed him.

"God, Haley, you have no idea what looking at you does to me." He spoke out of habit, not putting pauses in his speech to allow for her to try concentrating on his lips. His palms moved to rest on her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Dressed up or casual, make up or not…hair or not…" he carefully set a hand on her head and ran it down to the back of her skull in a soft caress. "You take my breath away; you always do, no matter what."

Haley's vision was blurred with moisture and though she couldn't really follow word for word what he was saying in the growing shadows, she knew what he was saying. She could read it in his eyes and feel it in the touch of his skin on hers. Yeah, Nathan always had a way to make her feel beautiful, even when there was overwhelming evidence of the opposite.

"I love you." He spoke once more, moving his hands to take one of hers.

He moved his wife's delicate hand and set it against his chest, right over his heart, letting her feel the beats that rang solely for her. Haley's eyes stared at her hand, the steady thumping dancing underneath it.

"I love you." She spoke quietly.

Moments later found the two sharing their bed positioned with Haley's head lying on Nathan's chest. She closed her eyes, imagining the sound of the rhythmic vibrations under her. With his arms wrapped around her protectively, Haley fell asleep to the music of his heartbeat.

X

X

* * *

**A/N: Like I said, things won't be sadness for them forever, I hope you guys can power through until then! **

**_You ask…"_Power through? Does that mean it'll be a while?"**

**_I respond…_ "Don't ask me about my business!"**


	33. Undone

**A/N: Hello all. I know, I know. I've been MIA from this for a little while. But I'm not going into details of why, mostly because I've already typed it up for my two other fics and don't feel like doing it again here. Suffice it to say that health problems have befallen both my dad and my younger brother. If you want more detail than that, check out the a/n is my other fics. Other than that, I'm typing this at super-fast speed to try to gain control of the nerves that are tearing through me as I watch the overtime quarter of the KC/SD game. God, I love my boys in red! Come on guys!**

**Fun fact about me here, I'm a crazy crazy Chiefs fan. Yes, I'm a girl and I'm insane for NFL and my hometown boys. Deal, people! GAH, so exciting, MONDAY NIGHT!**

**Interestingly enough, the tone of the a/n is a far far cry from the tone of the actual chap. That being said, I will go on to say that this one kind of flew from me with a mind of its own. Seriously, my pen was writing words faster than I thought I was thinking of them and when it was over, (tooting my own horn, apologies everyone) I really liked what came out. (There's even a little secret I'll tell you at the end of it.) I hope you do too!**

**P.S. WE JUST WON! BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL DRIVE IN OVERTIME TO WIN IT WITH A FIELD GOAL! **

* * *

"_I'm right here_

_Will you come undone with me?"_

'_Undone'_

- Carolina Liar

* * *

X

X

He was sitting in his room, the house around him empty and silent. Everyone was out while Lucas sat alone at the desk. His eyes were looking ahead of him at the computer screen where an old picture of him and Haley was currently on display, but his mind was far from that space.

He could hear his own voice echoing from the past towards his ears.

"_Come on, you know I'll always look out for you." He'd said to a younger Haley who was nervous about starting high school._

"_Yeah, right." She answered with a laughing tone. "When you're Mr. Bigshot and I'm just that girl you used to hang out with." _

_He'd thrown his arm around her shoulders and held her against him._

"_Hey," he began, "I'm serious here Hales. You don't have anything to worry about. I'm never going to let anything happen to you. I love you too much."_

"_I love you too." She replied after giving him a quick peck on the cheek._

Before he could continue to follow the memory through the next light hearted moments with his best friend, his thoughts were hijacked by another time. His eyes drifted toward the door that led outside and felt his current reality fizzle away.

"_Oh my God, Haley is this…is this blood?"_

Lucas quickly stood up with a near growl, the sudden action making him knock the desk and rattling everything sitting atop it. He refused to dwell on that; the moment she showed up at his door, painted in his father's blood, terrified and begging for someone to help. If he thought about it, he'd only use the hindsight to reprimand every single action taken from that point on.

He promised to always look out for her and he had failed.

He'd acted rashly and out of fear. Now look.

Sure he knew he couldn't have saved her from a tumor that was already there and growing, but a different course taken could have kept it from getting as bad as it did. Before she got so sick, before the first of the seizures came…

They were the same thoughts of guilt and shame that came to him whenever he thought about his best friend, whenever he was near her it took all his strength to keep it from taking over. And what if they hadn't been found when they were? He would have kept trying to convince her to keep running and Haley would have gotten sicker and sicker until it was too late.

With a heavy sigh he moved to the bed and flopped down on his back. He turned his head towards the side table where a framed picture of the two of them was resting. He was leaning forward, compensating for her weight on his back as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was smiling, he was smiling, they were so happy.

She wasn't the same person she was when it was taken. He knew it was a horrible thought to have, but he couldn't help its presence from reappearing continuously. She wasn't the same…How could she be?

"You shouldn't do that."

He was startled by the sudden voice, turning his head to see Brooke in the doorway of his room. His brow furrowed as her words sunk in and he raised himself to lean back on his elbows.

"Do what?"

Brooke pointed in the direction of the photograph and came closer to him as she spoke.

"Look at her like that." She commented, coming still closer. Before he could reply that she hadn't been able to see his face from where she was standing, his girlfriend was already speaking again. "Like what's happened is the only thing you see when you look at her; like it's the one thing that defines her."

She paused near the table and wrapped her hand around the edge of the frame. Lifting it, she looked at the image with a sad sort of smile.

"Like she'll never be the same." She flicked her eyes back to Lucas again, who'd been watching her since she entered. "Don't look at her like that."

He sighed and laid himself back down on the mattress completely, rubbing his face with his hand; he was not in the mood.

"It's a picture." He found himself saying, rather than denying it.

Brooke scoffed in response and he squint his eyes to look at her upside down image.

"What?" he asked defensively, sitting up and turning to look at her. "I'm looking at a picture of my friend a feeling a little down, is that not allowed?"

"Sure it is." She answered, then cleared her throat and clarified cautiously. "It's fine as long as you're _only _doing it with the picture, not when you're doing it to her face."

"I know that, Brooke." He replied. "I'm not an idiot, I'm not going to do that to her."

"Lucas," She put the picture down carefully. "You already do."

At this, he narrowed his eyes and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at her.

"No I don't." He argued.

"Come on, Lucas." Brooke began. "You were great at keeping it together before, but after you and Nathan talked to the doctor that day, after we found out…it's the only way you look at her. Even your smiles are full of it. I love you, Lucas, but I have to tell you that if I can see it, Haley sure as hell can and it's the last thing she needs right now."

At these words, he stood up, feeling his muscles clench.

"_You're _going to tell _me_ what Haley needs?" he asked sharply. "Who are you to lecture me about her?"

"I'm her friend." She answered, taken back by his sudden attitude, but not backing down. "I'm someone who loves her and-"

"Since when?" he interrupted. "Huh? You've known Haley, what? A year? How much did you love her when you and your friends would look down at her because she wasn't wearing fifty dollar shirts or hundred dollar shoes? How great a friend were you when you were embarrassing her in front of everyone at Nathan's party that night? How much did you love her when you _laughed_ at her?"

He finally stopped, his chest heaving as the words hung in the air for a moment between them. Brooke glared at him and his eyes widened a bit when he noticed the glisten in them and realized what he'd said; what he'd done. He'd thrown the person she used to be in her face; the person she hated remembering and worked hard to leave in the past.

"Brooke, I…" he stumbled.

"You're right." She began tightly, "I haven't been her friend very long. You're absolutely right."

"Brooke-"

"But you know what? It doesn't matter." She continued and shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't matter, Lucas. How long you're friends with someone…that's not what's important. What's important is what kind of friend you are in the time you're given. And no matter if it's been only been about a year, I know how to be a damn good friend. And on top of that, Haley knows that too."

She paused to take a shaking breath as her emotions raged through her. She pulled her arm away when he tried to touch her.

"I'm sorr-"

"So when she sits next to me and says to me, Lucas seems sad, or How's Lucas doing..." she went on to say. "I'm going to come to you and try to help. I'm going to try to make sure you're doing ok with this so _she _can not worry about how _you're_ handling things. Granted I didn't know what an incredible ass you'd be about it. But, you know what? There we go; I've done my part. So I guess I'll leave you to it then."

She tried to leave but Lucas reached out for her again, this time catching her arm and not letting her pull away from him.

"Brooke, wait. Wait, please." He pleaded before beginning his apology. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. I shouldn't have said those things."

"You're right." She agreed. "You shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I know it wasn't fair; you haven't been that person in a long time and it was thoughtless of me to mention it."

She finally allowed her glare to soften.

"Then why do it?" she asked. "Why say it? 'Cause you're mad at me?"

"Because…Because I'm upset." He confessed. "Because I don't know how to deal with any of this and you do."

"You think I'm ok with this?" she asked. "You think I just walk around smiling about everything. 'Hey my best friend had a brain tumor. Say whatever you want in front of her she can't hear you anyway?' The faux cheer dropped from her voice. "Do you think I feel that way?"

"No, but…" He started. "But you know how to be around Haley better than I do. You're being the kind of friend I should be able to be; the kind of friend she needs right now."

"That doesn't mean this doesn't kill me, Lucas." She informed him. "It doesn't mean I don't wish I could change everything, or that I don't cry sometimes after a visit. How do you think Nathan feels? That's his wife. Or her family, or Karen…This is hurting all of us, Lucas. But what you have to remember more than anything right now is that, yes this is effecting us…it's hurting us…but _it's happening_ to Haley."

"How are you doing it?" he asked desperately. "How do you smile and mean it? How does your heart not just break when you look at her? I should know this. I shouldn't have to ask."

"It doesn't make you any less of a friend for having trouble with this." She put her hands on either side of his face. Tears were hostages in his eyes while hers slipped freely down her cheeks. "It doesn't mean you love her any less because you're struggling."

Witnessing the man she loved in such pain was heart wrenching; Lucas was always careful to be strong for everyone around him. It was a trait he shared with his brother. Seeing him a breath away from breaking reminded her of sitting in that chapel, waiting for news.

"How do you do it?" she heard him ask again, his voice so soft it could be considered a whisper. "I need to know."

"You want to know what I do?" she asked, not expecting a response before she continued. "I think about how it used to be; how I would act or respond if absolutely nothing was different and then I realize…it isn't really. Things aren't very different, are they? Except for the obvious. We're the same people. We're in each other's lives for the same reasons. When I think about it like that, it makes it ok. A few adjustments here and there about how we talk to one another, and before I know it, I'm sitting with my friend, and it feels a bit like it was."

"But…" he wavered. "But it _is_ different, Brooke. She's different."

"Is she?" Brooke asked. "Do you think she'd still laugh at the same jokes? Still like the same flavors? Cry in the same sappy movies?"

She slid her hands behind his neck and her voice was a whisper.

"Still love the same best friend?" she heard him take in a breath as his eyes closed, no doubt to hide the moisture threatening from her sight. "She's not a different person. She's still Haley, so you have to keep being Lucas for her."

He was silent, not speaking, but moving; leaning until his forehead was touching hers. His breath danced over her face as he gathered the words.

"Thank you." He whispered to her.

"Anytime." She told him, tilting her head to put a chaste kiss on his lips. "Do you know what else helps?"

He shook his head against her.

"Having someone there when you feel like breaking." She informed him. "You're that someone for me Lucas. I know I can always come to you. So you need to know the same. When it's too hard, when it hurts too much, don't hide away in here and think about all the might have been's or used to be's…just call me. I'll always show up."

She felt him rub his hands up and down her arms before pulling her body closer to his in an embrace. She held him as well for a few moments before an idea came to her. Something she thought might help him out.

"Come here." She said, stepping away from the embrace but never breaking contact completely.

Holding his hand loosely, she led him to the mattress and instructed him to sit before taking a seat next to him on the springs. She once again picked up the picture frame and held it over to him. Lucas accepted the offer with a look of confusion. His questioning gaze inspired her to speak her thoughts.

"Practice." She instructed.

"What?"

She scooted closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, looking down at the photograph he held.

"Talk to it." She suggested. "Like it's her…like she's here."

"Brooke, that's-"He began, feeling a bit ridiculous just at the prospect of doing it.

"Please Lucas." She asked of him. "Trust me, I'm sure it will help."

When he still seemed skeptic she added two more words.

"For me."

With a sigh, he relented, holding the picture up in front of him, he began speaking uncertainly.

"Um, Hi…Haley." He stared. "How are you?"

"Lucas." Brooke suddenly said his name as if she were complaining to him about something.

"What? I'm doing it."

She covered his hand, the one that held the frame, with her own and brought it back to him. She placed his hand and the object it held to rest against his lap and watched him studying it before speaking softly.

"Like you'd talk to her before." Her soft voice told him. "Like nothing is or ever will be any different."

With these words in his ear, Lucas gazed over the photo. He ran his thumb carefully over the image of his best friend and before he knew it, he'd cleared his throat and let his own voice come quietly.

"Hey buddy."

X

* * *

**A/N:**

**Alright, fact about this that I'm not too proud to say…I pansy-ed up and actually cried while I was writing this one. It's only happened a couple times before to me (in ANY fic) yes, it's happened in this one, but for real, I don't know exactly when or what, but while I was writing it, I was surprised to realize my eyes were blurry and my ink was smudging. **

**I know it doesn't really further the plot, but I really wanted to give some spotlight to the supporting characters and how they're doing because really, they've been such a big part of this story.**

**But in the next update, we'll get back on track with progression including….DUN DUN DUN an appearance by a certain Scott!**

* * *

**Go Chiefs!**


	34. Shell Games

**A/N: Sorry Sorry Sorry. My time the past few weeks…over a month by now actually but I can't say for sure the exact time, has been so damn full of busyness and worry. Doctor's appointments for my brother, 2am ER visit for my **_**other**_** brother, travelling from kc, to stlouis, to Cleveland, to st Louis, to kc again, and back and forth and back and forth and AH! And coming up we have an MRI for one bro and a surgery for my dad. UGH. To summarize, I'm sorry and I hope this makes up for it!**

**A/N2: LISTEN TO THIS SONG! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! But really, I haven't found a Bright Eyes song I don't like.**

* * *

"_Here it come that, heavy love_

_Someone gotta share in the load_

_Here it come that heavy love _

_You're never gonna move it alone"_

'_Shell Games'_

-Bright Eyes

* * *

X

Nathan was pulled from slumber by a soft noise that drifted through the air of the still air. He wasn't able to determine what it was in the fog of his just waking mind, but it wasn't an unwelcome sound. Stretching his arms out, it was then that he woke full at the realization of an empty bed.

"Haley?" he called, looking around the room. After a moment, he berated himself; he still forgot sometimes and fell into the habit. It had been a little over a week, but there were still slips; most often in this very situation when he'd just woken up.

He rose now and quickly left the bedroom, not pausing to dress as his mind finally concluded what the sound was. He paused at the end of the hall as he found her and was affirmed in his thought. In his boxers, he halted his steps and observed the scene before him. Haley sat on the couch, facing the window, her guitar draped over her lap and her fingers dancing expertly on the neck. She kept her eyes on the pane of glass that allowed the rays of sunlight to stream over her while her hands moved in a memorized pattern.

For a moment, he watched her in the golden light and could imagine everything was normal. He could believe everything was as it should be…almost.

Until he noticed the long blue scarf – a gift from Brooke – hanging down her back from where it wrapped around her head. He sighed, even at home with him, all alone with each other, she refused to be without one until the lights were off and they lay down for the night. He wished she'd just see that there was nothing wrong with not wearing it.

He watched as the notes stopped and his wife closed her eyes and he wondered, not for the first time, what was happening in her head. He wondered again what it was like; if he'd be able to handle it if it were him. Haley was so strong; even when she didn't agree, he knew the truth.

He was forced out of his thoughts when he heard her move. She stood and turned, gasping with a start when she saw him there. Nathan felt a bit bad for not letting her know he was there, but he couldn't help watching her.

"Sneaking up on the deaf girl...Classy." She commented, noticing the tension that came over him when she said the 'd' word.

He recovered as quickly as he could, sweeping it away and forcing himself to shrug nonchalantly.

"That's me." He said, coming closer and extending his hand, not having to wait for her to place her own in it.

He closed his larger one around it and brought her closer, placing a small kiss on her forehead before she nestled herself against him in an embrace. She leaned her head on his chest, finding comfort in the familiar rhythm of the thumping heart beneath it.

"Good morning." She spoke into him and felt his bare chest vibrate against her cheek briefly in response. She felt a flicker of a near smile at the knowledge that she knew what he had said without having to watch his lips.

Some things were predictable and she found such a comfort in that which she could count on. Nathan, thankfully, knew this as well for he made no move to maneuver his face into her view. He moved them to sit on the couch she'd been on and looked at her.

"You were playing." He spoke the obvious comment while almost sounding like a question.

Haley nodded, knowing what he was thinking. She hadn't touched anything musical since she was released. Until that morning, her guitar remained propped in the corner gathering dust and earning looks from its owner that ranged from longing to loathing.

"I wanted to try." She admitted. "See what it felt like; if it still felt like it used to."

"Did it?" he asked, hoping she'd found a way to hold on to something that meant so much to her.

"Not exactly." She told him with a sigh. "But it was nice. I don't know, just knowing I was doing it, even if I couldn't hear it…it was nice."

"I'm glad." He ran his hand up and down her arm. He noticed something was off. "What's on your mind?"

She pointed at the coffee table in front of them, specifically at what was atop it. Nathan knew immediately what it was without needing to take a close look. He sat up straighter and began gathering the papers into a pile and picked them up, walking away with them.

Haley rose and followed him to the kitchen where he put them away in a drawer on the island.

"What are we going to do Nathan?" Haley asked from one side of it. Nathan stood on the other and looked at her.

"It's gonna be fine." He told her in a firm voice, though the tone didn't come across in her reading of his lips.

"Nathan, it's so much money."

"Haley, I'm going to take care of it." He promised trying to dismiss the topic.

'How?" she asked, nerves and fear clear in her voice. "We don't have a third of that between us. I ca- I can't work right now and-"

"Hey,hey." He started, coming around the counter and taking her hands. "I don't want you to worry about it. I mean it; I'll take care of everything. You have to worry about yourself; you're supposed to be taking it easy. Right?"

He rested his hand against her cheek and stroking his thumb back and forth over the soft skin.

"You're way more important that a few bills." He told her. "Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes, doctor." She answered softly, trying to lighten her mood even though she couldn't erase the concern as he wished her to, she returned to her place against him.

Nathan wouldn't say because she was already so worried, but he'd been trying to figure out how the hell they were supposed to take care of it as well. He knew he'd never exactly been great with managing money; he hadn't had a job since walking out of the dealership the day he saw his dad and Lucas expecting them all to work together.

Maybe it was hot headed and irresponsible to be so impulsive, but he just couldn't pretend he was ok with it. That had been such a bad stretch of time for him. But now he wished he hadn't; wished he had stuck it out and saved up. Maybe then he wouldn't be feeling so desperate.

He'd been spending the last few nights awake in bed long after Haley had managed to fall asleep. The only time he saw relief in her features was when she leaned up against his chest and felt his heart thumping for her. Nathan was certain without it, it would take forever for her to relax enough to fall asleep, if she ever did at all.

So at night after she drifted off against him, he silently and with as little movement as possible so he wouldn't wake her, got the laptop and scoured the internet looking for available jobs until all hours. But so far he hadn't found anything that would work. The only things he could fit in with his qualifications and availability were minimum wage jobs.

He thought about what could be sold off. There was the car, maybe the television and stereo but whatever prices he could get for them, it wouldn't be enough. What else could he do?

He was tempted to ask his mother for help, but she'd already done so much in hiring the lawyer. He let out a sigh as he held his wife, tightening his arms as another thought came to him. It had been a fleeting idea, one he dismissed right away before…but now it returned. He closed his eyes as he wondered what it would do to Haley; how it would make her feel.

Reluctantly he pulled back though he kept his arms circled around her. She looked up at him and watched his lips while he got his thoughts back on track with a new question.

"What do you want to do today?"

She took a few seconds of deciphering before she responded.

"Just a lazy day, you know?" she answered. "Hang around the apartment, put in a movie, nothing special."

"Ok." He nodded. "You want to go get some breakfast? We can hit the video store on the way home and grab a couple of them."

Her smile faltered a bit and she cleared her throat, feeling the rumble of the action within her neck.

"I'm not really hungry." She answered.

Nathan tried to keep from sighing at her response, not at all surprised by it. He knew immediately what she was doing, and it had nothing to do with being hungry or not. Since she'd come home, he hadn't been oblivious to her reluctance to be around others. Nathan knew she was supposed to be taking it easy and not stressing too much, but it was more than that.

It wasn't just not wanting to exert herself. It was about hiding away. Even when it was their best friends coming by or offering to take her out for this or that, it was clear to him that she wanted nothing more than to retreat away from everyone. Sure, she stuck it out while they were visiting, but he could see it in her demeanor that she was forcing herself not to disappear into the room and close the door behind her.

"Come on, Hales." He began. "Just for breakfast; we'll go to Karen's. It'll be alright. There's nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried, I just don't want to go out." She answered. It was true; she didn't want to go out.

She didn't want to see people glance her way "discreetly" or see lips moving and know she was the topic falling from them. She didn't want to see pity or curiosity. More than that, she didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Haley didn't consider herself to look like a monster, but she didn't exactly look ordinary or average.

Not to mention the other multitude of reasons she couldn't bear the thought of walking into a busy establishment or even past her front door. Nathan didn't seem to get it. She loved him for his ability to stand with her and hold her and say all the things at all the right moments that she needed to hear. But at the same time, she felt he was holding back from accepting what was happening himself.

He treated her, mostly, as if nothing were different at all; acting as though it was just another day in the life they'd begun living together what felt like a lifetime ago. But it wasn't…and she wanted him to accept it now rather than have it overwhelm him later and cause him- and possibly them – more damage.

She tried to focus her thoughts, as she realized Nathan was speaking to her again but the burgeoning tears in her eyes blurred her vision and she lost sight of whatever it was.

"Shit." She stated in a breathy voice, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

Nathan halted his recollection of what the hospital therapist had told them when he noticed what was wrong and then saw Haley turn away from him.

"Sorry." He heard her say before she let out a frustrated groan.

He stepped up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, knowing it was one of those moments when her…situation got to her. As soon as he touched her, however, Haley pulled away and turned to him.

"Nathan, " she started, trying to explain the barrage of thoughts that had overtaken her moments ago. "Going out…I just…"

She trailed off; trying to collect the words she wanted to say. Wrapping her arms around her torso, she glanced out the window a moment.

"Everyone knows." She spoke softly. "Everyone knows what I did and what's wrong with me. I don't want to be gawked at and talked about like some kind of sideshow. I don't want parents to have to tell their kids not to stare at me. I can't…I can't be out there with all of them."

She swiped at her cheeks and tried to even out her breathing as she gave voice to her emotions. Nathan grabbed her hand and held it close to his heart in an attempt to calm and comfort her. He licked his lips and asked carefully.

"Can you see?"

She nodded, blinking a few times to clear up her eyesight better and sniffling before nodding once more.

"Ok, I'm going to say this again and I hope it's the last time." He started; pausing to make sure she got a hold of everything he said. "What happened was: You were sick. Ok? You got sick. It was no one's fault, least of all yours. _That's_ what happened and no one can blame you for it. Alright? And there is nothing, _nothing_, wrong with you."

To his surprise, she shook her head.

"You know that's not true." She argued. "…About nothing being wrong."

"It is." He said back.

"As much as you don't want to –"

"Haley." He said as if warning her to stop.

"-admit it or talk about it, we both know-"

"That's enough." He demanded harshly. His upset being made clear to her through his body language and the tension in his face; she didn't have to hear his tone to know he was becoming angry…but so was she.

"How the hell are we supposed to deal with this together if you can't accept it?" she asked desperately. "There's something-something wrong with me."

He shook his head, continuing to deny it, and opened his mouth but she interrupted; silencing him by pulling the scarf off of her head.

"Look at me." She ordered. "Look at me Nathan. This isn't what it looks like when nothing's wrong. If it wasn't me, if it was someone else on the street, you'd take one look at her and ask yourself: What's wrong with her?"

"But it isn't someone else. It's you. You're my wife and I love you."

"I know that Nathan." She countered. "I'm not saying you don't. I believe that more than anything else on this planet but…but loving each other doesn't mean you pretend everything's perfect. Loving each other means we accept what's imperfect and wrong and hard, and we face it together. And you've been so amazing through _everything_, but right now I just want…I need to hear you admit it. For both of us, you have to stop pretending and let it be real. Please."

She pause a moment and made sure to get a good hold on both of his hands and hold them between their bodies.

"I don't have hair. I have a hideous scar where they cut my head open. I have trouble remembering some things." She listed off all the things she thought of, saving the hardest one to deal with for last; speaking it in almost a whisper. "And I can't hear."

She finished and Nathan was just standing there. Watching her with a hard expression that told her he didn't like anything he was hearing. He wasn't going to do anything, she could tell. He wasn't going to say anything. So Haley tried to prompt him, repeating herself.

"I'm deaf, Nathan." She said again. "I'm deaf and there's a big chance that it's irreversible." She found herself sniffling yet again as the weighted words left her lips, knowing they were hurting him to hear. "Say it, Nathan. "

When he still refused, she let out a sigh and released his hands.

"Fine." She stated simply. If he wouldn't accept it willingly, she'd have to make him; with that in mind, she walked across the room and turned on the stereo. "Say it."

Nathan tightened his jaw, his hands clenching to fists. He refused to admit it; he couldn't. Why was she doing this to him? To herself? He couldn't say the things she wanted him to say; it was too much.

As he remained silent, she turned up the volume, proving her facts to him. Even though they both already knew, she was determined to make him accept it aloud. She needed him to; he had to express all the things he was hiding and suppressing because he thought it was better for her or them.

"I wish it wasn't true but it is." She spoke, still turning up the music every moment that he did nothing.

Haley could feel the vibration of the bass and knew it had to be loud despite the dead silence in her own ears. She couldn't believe how stubborn he was. Angry at the exact stubbornness that she was also demonstrating, she twisted the knob until it could go no further. She saw Nathan wince just before he blew.

"Alright!" he shouted into the deafening sound although there was no need for it; it was more for him than for her. He stepped angrily close to her. "You're right. You're deaf. You're deaf and it sucks! I hate it. Are you happy? _I hate it_! I hate that you can't look me in the eyes when I speak to you. I hate that I can't call you across the room or whisper in your ear when we're in bed. I hate…" his voice began to falter in its anger. "I hate that there's nothing I can do. I hate that this is our life now and possibly forever. That you won't be able to hear our songs or, years from now, our kid's voices."

He was an indescribably mix of rage and despair as he closed the space between them even more; until he could feel her breath dance over his chin as she looked up at him.

"I hate it." He said again with a growl.

And before either could think about the action, lips were smashing onto hers; his body holding enough force she hit the shelves behind her; neither caring for the things that fell to the floor as a result. Haley gave no attention to anything other than his fierce lips on hers and his strong warm arms around her body. She returned his passion with just as much vigor.

It felt like it had been years since they'd been together. She had a vague recollection of actions in a motel room, but it was fuzzy; as certain things were it seemed. Another side effect of she discovered.

Regardless, she did remember for certain that that specific expedition hadn't exactly been successful. And since Haley's return home and her orders to "take it easy" they hadn't been anywhere near this passionate.

Haley moaned into his mouth and then gave a small gasp of surprise when Nathan suddenly spun her around and lowered the both of them to the carpeted floor right there. Her back touched the soft surface and Nathan pulled back, asking silently with his eyes if she was sure; if this was ok. Beyond all the concern and caution, Haley was drawn to the dark storm of desire she saw overtaking him and knew she probably had the same clouds in her own eyes. She bit her lip to contain herself and nodded, putting her hand on the hot skin at the back of his neck and bringing him back down to her mouth.

She ran her hands up and down the arms pressed to the floor on either side of her, keeping his weight from crushing her. She felt the familiar heat brewing within her and the fact that he was already in his boxers only inspired it to spread hotter and faster than she could remember it ever doing. Feeling his arousal against her thigh, she couldn't help the deep moan that escaped. His mouth moved to her neck and Haley tilted her head back, exposing more of it to his hot lips. His name fell from her mouth as she felt an experienced hand slide up her shirt. She arched her back, pressing herself further against him, needing to feel every inch that she could.

She felt the vibration of his chest and a slight change in the movement of his lips on her skin and knew he must have been saying something as well, most likely her own name. If she weren't so lost in her fog of lust, she would have found a sharp sting in her heart at the realization that she'd never hear him say her name in such a way again. But instead, she allowed it to pass and took herself further into what was happening. He ground against her heart almost exploded, wishing more than anything that the thin layers of clothes between them were already gone.

The couple suddenly jerked, Nathan pulling away as a bombardment of lights began flashing. It took them a minute to clear their heads enough to realize what it meant: the doorbell.

With a growl that rippled his chest and told Haley he was just as annoyed as she that they'd been interrupted, he rose to his feet and turned off the still blaring music; which explained why he hadn't heard the doorbell. He'd been so lost in her that he literally blocked out everything else, including the extreme volume of the stereo.

He went to the door and found a very displeased neighbor complaining to him about the way-too-loud music. A few words were exchanged including an apology and a quick explanation and a promise to be more considerate.

He was all too happy to close the door and turned back to his wife. She was standing now, but still flushed from their actions and giving him a knowing smile.

Nathan grinned and raised his eyebrows.

Haley inclined her head toward the hall that led to the bedroom.

He put his thumbs in the elastic waist of his boxers, earning him a short laugh from his wife; who seemed to be enjoying this game as much as he was. She returned by toying with the hem of her shirt for a breath before lifting it over head and quickly throwing it at him. He caught it before it could hit his face and playfully ran after Haley who'd already taken off laughing down the hall.

She'd just gotten to the edge of the mattress and turned to see where he was. The second she did she let out a surprised laugh as Nathan appeared, wrapping his arm around her and taking them both to the bed, spinning so she landed on top of him.

"Got you." He said to her.

She didn't respond other than to press her lips onto his once more.

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**A/N: I know I promised the return of Dan the devil in this chap, but it took on a life of its own while writing it and went another direction halfway through. Apparently my muse decided Naley needed a break from the drama and to get down to some good old fashion…stress relief. I ended up really liking this and I was able to put in the bread crumbs I'd need for the coming chapters as well. **


	35. All I See

**A/N: Wow, remember me? Sorry it's been forever you guys, I guess I could figure out exactly how long it's been if I go online right this minute and look up the last update date of this but alas, my laziness wins out. I'm more interested in getting this chapter typed up than I am in showing off my fancy counting skills. Excuses for my absence are literally the same old same old. True my family's health has been on the mend for a while; my brother is more or less completely out of the woods. Unfortunately, my father's been experiencing some complications which I won't bore you with the medicinal details right this minute. And my mother was in so much unexplainable back pain that she's been unable to do very much at all, so I've been taking care of the house and dinners and stuff for the family. I'm not complaining, I feel better when I'm helping out, unfortunately it totally wipes me out and I'm ready to pass out by 9o'clock. On top of everything, I didn't get the ICU job. But I don't have any hard feelings about it, I mean come on there were only 3 spots open and literally dozens of people applying. Ok…onward with the story now.**

**P.S… I started writing this with one thing in mind and (as it often does) the story wrote itself despite my original intentions. It turned out to be a lot more introspective for Nathan. But don't worry; I've already begun writing out the next chapter so it shouldn't be long until things get back to gettin.**

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"_Love is simple_

_It's the simple things that make me smile_

_It's clear as crystal_

_I'm right where I should be"_

'_All I See'_

_-Kate Voegele_

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Nathan propped himself up on his elbow after a few moments of resting enough to calm his heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat. Leaning on the mattress, he looked down at his wife. Haley was lying on her stomach, her arms folded underneath the pillow below her head and the sheet set lazily at her waist just below the two digit tattoo that still made his mouth go dry to look at. She let out a content sigh as she felt Nathan's lips press onto her shoulder blade.

She was exhausted; taking it easy probably didn't include the events that just occurred between the couple. All in all, she had near zero energy left as a result, but it was worth it as far as she was concerned. As lay in the afterglow, she recalled the discussion, if it could be called that, which led them to the very position they found themselves.

"This isn't a bad life, is it?" she asked, her eyes closed as she spoke the questions. "We can still be happy like this. Still be us."

Nathan thought about how to respond. Not because he didn't know the answer, but because she looked so peaceful he didn't want to disturb her just so she could see what he was saying. With a grin, he placed his fingertip on the sensitive flesh of her back. Leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake, Nathan moved as if ink slid from the digit and wrote the answer between her should.

_Yes._

He leaned over enough to see her profile and was pleased to see a smile appear on her face. Clearly she'd deciphered his message. Nathan allowed himself a smile and took to writing once more. This time he didn't make any words, but trailed the shape of a heart on the exposed skin.

He heard a soft chuckle from his wife before she spoke.

"I love you, too." She answered. The airy tone in her voice betrayed to him how worn out she really was.

Rubbing his hand up and down her back gently, it was only a few moments before Haley's breathing evened out to the steady music of sleep. When he was certain she was dreaming, Nathan put a kiss on her temple and lifted the sheet and blanket to keep her warm before leaving the bed. Knowing she would most likely be asleep for a while, Nathan decided to take a shower, and took his time under the hot spray. While under it, he let his mind wander over the unexpected events of the morning. Being with Haley as he just had was incredible. It was everything he remembered it being and so much more. On top of blowing his mind, he felt like it had done him a world of good. It was an assault against all the tension and stress he'd been carrying around for what seemed to be years.

Although he would admit to being afraid of going through with it so passionately, for he was terrified of hurting her, Haley's assurance and encouragement had driven him to give in to his lust. Closing his eyes under the shower head, Nathan reveled in the memory of her body against his; her hands romancing his skin and her hot breath against him. At one point he'd instinctively found himself moving to tangle a hand in her hair. Nathan remembered how his actions hesitated briefly after that, worried he'd broken the mood or made her insecure at the reminder of what was no longer there when his palm met only skin. To his surprise, however, she showed no change in behavior to indicate that she was upset in any way. Maybe it was that she needed it as badly as he did that she wouldn't let anything distract from it.

Nevertheless, he told himself to be more careful; more aware of what he was doing next time.

He finished showering and quietly dressed, hoping not to disrupt the slumbering beauty. Once in his clothes, Nathan sat on the edge of the bed and gazed down at her face. He did his best to keep at bay the memory of all emotions he'd been stormed with lately. As he watched her resting face, Nathan knew he'd never forget what it felt like; nor should he forget, he had to remember that fear to ensure he never took a moment for granted. So much fear.

She'd been so sick. He almost lost her.

Worst of all he knew that, even though it _was_ better, it wasn't over. Eighty percent removal meant twenty percent remained.

While it was no longer as serious, it still had to be taken care of to get her completely out of the woods there. At least she wouldn't need another surgery. They told him it could be taken care of with a few radiation treatments and they wouldn't be enough to cause side effects too harsh. Truth of the matter was, ideally they would use surgery to finish the job, but it was too soon to be putting her body through such an intense experience again.

He ran his fingers lightly down her cheek before touching the back of his hand to her forehead. He had to be alert. If there were any signs of illness, they were supposed to take her directly to the hospital. Pleased that her temperature seemed normal, Nathan silently rose from the bed; freezing when the shifting weight on the mattress caused her to stir.

"Nathan." She mumbled his name as she rolled over, ending up on her back.

Nathan noticed that, even though she apparently was speaking to him, her eyes were closed. He felt a smile pull at his lips, remembering all the times he'd thought she was actually trying to talk to him while in bed only for him to discover she was talking in her sleep. It was usually the nonsensical things she'd sometimes say that would give it away. Sometimes if he spoke to her in those moments, she'd respond as if they truly were conversing.

"Yeah, I'm here." He spoke softly, deciding not to enable the quirk at this time. "Just rest."

"Close the window," she muttered in response as she let out a sigh in her sleep. "the birds don't like the color."

He pressed his lips together to keep from chuckling at the strange statement. Instead, he forced himself to sound casual and answered her.

"Is that better?" he asked without having moved an inch.

"Hmm." She hummed, clearly returning to the deeper waters of sleep and away from whatever allowed for the exchange between them.

With a last smile in her direction, Nathan forced himself to walk away from the breathtaking sight of his wife.

With his time alone, Nathan kept himself busy with this and that. He ate some cereal and watched some highlights on ESPN from games he hadn't been able to watch. In doing this, he tried to free his mind from all the weight settling back inside now that he'd come down from the high he'd just experienced.

His eyes went toward the kitchen where he knew the bills had been put away. He was still toying with the idea he didn't yet want to mention to Haley. The factory was hiring; full time, good pay and health insurance. It was definitely something that could help them out. He could make decent money doing it, but it was the catch that would upset his wife so very much. He could work there, but not if he wanted to stay in school. Instead of doing equations and essays, he'd be moving steel and driving forklifts. No graduation, no basketball, no Duke.

He'd be a drop out.

Nathan swallowed at the thought. Haley would be devastated; she was always the one encouraging him to go for his full potential. She wanted so much for him to be the very best of himself. To be honest, Nathan wanted it too. He wanted to prove that he was more than a good ball player; that he had a mind. He wanted to be the kind of man she saw in him; the kind of husband she could be proud of. But wasn't doing what he had to do to care for his family exactly the kind of thing a man did?

He groaned and tossed the remote. With a sigh, he picked up his phone and quickly found the contact he needed. After a few rings the voice answered warmly.

"Karen's Café." The woman's familiar voice came. "How can I help you?"

"Hi Karen." He greeted feeling a bit nervous now. He didn't like asking for favors, but until he figured out what to do, he had to go do whatever he could.

"Nathan?" she responded surprised, her voice quickly turned concerned. "Is everything ok? Is it Haley? Did she-"

"No, no; nothing like that." He cut in, realizing he wasn't the only one keeping alert for the worst. "Haley's fine; she's sleeping right now."

"Oh, thank God." He heard the woman release a breath. "I'm sorry Nathan, it's just that after everything that's happened, I can't help but expect bad news."

"I understand." And he really did. "The reason I'm calling, though, is…well I sort of need help with something."

"Oh." Karen voiced and he heard movement that made him assume she was going somewhere more private for their conversation. "I'm happy to help Nathan, with anything. What do you need?"

"A job." He said as he let out a sigh. "See, we've got a lot of bills piling up from the hospital and…I don't want to sound like a sob story and I know I don't have a lot of experience with holding jobs, but I wouldn't let you down. I'll do anything you need done, any job; at the café or Tric or both. I promise I'd-I'd work hard and I wouldn't complain about any of it. Is there any way you could help me out?"

"Of course, Nathan." He heard his aunt respond, much to his relief. "I'll be honest, I can't promise anything glamorous. Plus, with Lucas and Brooke at the café, there really aren't a lot of hours to go around there. I'll give you what I can there if you're up to it and I do have something more consistent at Tric."

"Yeah." He answered even though he wasn't asked a question. "I'll take whatever you can give me. You won't be sorry, I promise."

He heard a slight chuckle over the receiver followed by her reassuring words.

"I know Nathan." She spoke gently "Will I be seeing you guys at your booth anytime soon?"

"Definitely; as soon as Haley's feeling up to leaving the apartment." He answered with a smile, and then decided to quickly follow in case the wrong message came across. "You know, she gets tired easy right now and the doctors want her to take it easy. We're just being careful."

"I understand." She said with a nod on her end. "Give her my love, will you?"

Ending the conversation, Nathan continued to busy himself with trivial things. Watching television, playing a few different video games and returning texts from their friends. All the while, he continued to make sure he was always going to the room to check on Haley. As he did at that very moment, it was probably about the six or seventh time he'd wandered back to the room.

She hadn't moved from the position he'd left her in the entire time. It unnerved him for her to remain so still. Only her chest moved, signaling the breaths flowing in and out of her lungs. Nathan wanted to see her move. Seeing her so motionless forced the memories to the front of his mind. Haley in the hospital, unmoving on the bed as Nathans at vigil and waited desperately for her to wake up. He remembered the stinging scent of cleaning products attacking his nostrils. He remembered how limp her hand had been in his; how her image blurred before his tear filled eyes as the surgeon's words rang in his head.

Suddenly overwhelmed by the vivid memories, Nathan moved to sit beside her on the mattress. He lightly touched her forehead again and was relieved not to feel any difference from the last time he checked for fever. He let his knuckles graze her cheek as he removed his hand.

Unable to help himself, Nathan's eyes were drawn to the still slightly red scar adorned on her head. He felt his stomach roll as he thought about her getting it; of her getting cut open. As much as it bothered him, he also found himself having some sort of morbid fascination with it. His hand moved hesitantly, reaching out to her once more. His finger extended with the intent to trace the permanent reminder of what she endured to stay with them.

His fingertip barely touched it before he pulled back quickly as Haley inhaled sharply and opened her eyes. He noticed they were wide at first from the shock of being woken, but then returned to a slighter opening as her brow furrowed and she focused on Nathan and spoke with a thick voice.

"Nathan?" she questioned, bringing a hand to rub her eyes. "What's going on? What are you doing?"

Although he was embarrassed at what he'd nearly been caught doing, Nathan couldn't deny he was glad she woke. It eased his mind. With a smirk, he pointed to his eyes with two fingers, then to her, then back to his eyes as he closed them for a bit longer than a blink. Haley chuckled and adjusted her position slightly on her back before speaking again.

"Practicing your signing?" she asked, knowing it probably wasn't exactly the correct form for his message but was still clear enough to know what he was telling her.

She'd only had a couple meetings with the tutor so far and had to admit she wasn't exactly excelling at it just yet. Nathan grinned back at her and held up a hand horizontally, tilting it side to side.

Haley smiled at him; pointing to her chest, then crossing her arms in an 'X' and finishing by pointing back to him.

She could remember learning the sign for 'I love you' from Sesame Street a long, long time ago. Back when she was an excitable child wanting to learn everything she could; when she thought sign language would be fun to learn someday just to heck of it. How was she to know, years later that it would become a necessity in her life?

With a sigh, she reached up and grabbed Nathan's hand before he could relay anything back. She held his wrist with one hand and moved her other toward his face. Haley ran her slender fingers over his lips a few times before speaking out loud and telling him:

"I like to hear your voice in my head when I see your lips move." She informed him.

"I love you, too." He whispered.

Haley smiled briefly before moving to connect in a kiss. Just after they parted, Haley focused on ensuring her voice was a whisper, hoping it sounded something close to seductive.

"You know, one of us is still very naked," she started explaining, trailing a finger along his neck and down his chest. "…and the other one really needs to be."

Nathan laughed and hung his head for a moment. He looked back up into her eyes. While her words amused and aroused him, at the same time he wondered if it would be ok. He didn't want to push her too far. He worried doing too much too soon and setting back her recovery. The problem was he was unsure how to explain to her that he didn't think it was a good idea without giving her the wrong idea and upsetting her. Despite her actions in the heat of a passionate exchange, he knew the young woman was still extremely self-conscious.

He was saved from giving an answer when the sound of the doorbell went off in exact time with the flashing lights. He felt her body gave a jerk of surprise at the sudden visual and muttered to herself that she'd "Never get used to that," as she rose from beneath the covers.

Nathan released a breath of relief at the distraction and watched her begin to dress. Smirking as she turned her back and he was once again able to see the tattoo, he pressed his tongue into his cheek and stood up as well. He let his hand brush across her still bare back as he passed by and headed for the door.

Still smiling, and thinking on how easily she could lift his mood, Nathan reached the door and ran a hand through his hair before opening it. As soon as he pulled it back he thought to himself that he was going to need to spend a lot of time taking advantage of that skill of hers after seeing his visitor. His good mood was instantly vanished.

"Hello son."

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	36. We Are

**A/N: Things have literally been sucking even worse lately, but it once again looks like we've got some silver linings coming our way. On a cheerful note, It's my birthday and a few days ago we got an awesome cat. Maximus/Max is amazing company and he's keeping my spirits up. Hope you guys accept my apologies for the absence. I'll hopefully be updating Falling Slowly next week.**

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"_See the devil on the doorstep now_

_My, oh my_

_Telling everybody oh just how to live their lives"_

'_We Are'_

-Ana Johnsson

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Nathan immediately felt everything in him go on full alert. His grip tightened on the door as he took in the sight of his father standing before him. Without a word, the younger Scott tried to close the door and end whatever visit the man was attempting to have. Dan wouldn't allow it, however, and shot out his hand and prevented it.

"Easy. Easy, I'm not here to cause trouble." Dan announced, taking a step into the entryway.

"I find that hard to believe, _Dan_." He spat. "That's all you do for anyone."

Nathan tried again to shut Dan out but the man once again forced his presence.

"Listen, I just came by to talk." He offered.

"About what?" Nathan demanded, wanting to get it over and done with so Dan could leave before Haley decided to come out.

"About you; about Haley." He explained, watching his son's eyes darken as his wife's name came from his lips. "I know what happened at the hospital and-"

"I'll tell you the same thing I tell them when they try to invade our privacy: 'Leave us alone. I catch you coming around my home or my wife and you'll regret it.' How's that for talk?"

Dan shook his head and tried to speak again.

"I know you're dealing with a lot right now."

"No you don't." Nathan replied sharply. "You don't know anything about what we're going through right now. So whatever game you're playing by coming here, I'm not interested. Leave."

"Son, let me help you." He offered.

"Why would you want to help us, huh?" Nathan asked. "You scared the hell out of Haley, said awful things to her and put her in a situation where she shot a gun at another person. Do you have any idea what that did to her?"

"To her?" Dan asked with a scoff. "I'm sorry I was a little busy with the blood loss to wonder what it did to her."

Nathan smirked at his father as if Dan had just let himself be cornered with a confession about his true feelings. The older man shook his head.

"I know, I know. It wasn't her fault." He excused. "I talked to the doctor, I know the details."

"You what?" he repeated clenching his jaw. "It's none of your business what's going on with my wife and her health."

"She's my daughter-in-law, which means she's family so yes, I do." He excused himself.

"You need to leave." Nathan reaffirmed. "You need to go before I can't control my temper."

"Nathan please. Let me help however I can." He tried again. "I'm sure there's something…you must have incredible medical bills; I can pay them."

This offer made Nathan pause. He didn't respond right away, instead he found himself allowing his eyes to flick in the direction of the kitchen. It would be so easy to let the load be lifted onto someone else's shoulders. Make Dan bear some of the responsibility for the situation he'd played a part in. Even though he knew that his father had nothing to do with Haley actually getting sick, Nathan was of the firm belief that if it weren't for Dan it wouldn't have gotten as bad as it had before they found out something was wrong. But with accepting his money, there would no doubt be a hefty consequence. Dan Scott didn't do anything without an endgame for himself to come out on top.

But maybe he should accept regardless. He could risk the consequence if it meant giving Haley the peace of mind that came from having at least one problem taken care of.

"I-"

"Nathan?" he heard her voice from behind him and turned his head to look over his shoulder.

There she stood at the end of the hall in a pair of jeans and a yellow shirt. It sent a rush of relief through him that she wasn't wearing anything more revealing. Not that Haley had a habit of dressing provocatively but a pair of shorts and a tank top were a go-to on days she had no plans to leave home. After her description of Dan's behavior – and the vibes she'd gotten – he didn't want to go to jail again for killing his father for a repeat performance.

She looked at him curiously and took a step forward. Nathan was glad Dan was blocked from view and held up a hand to Haley.

"It's ok." He told her, and then held up an index finger.

He silently pleaded in his gaze for her to listen and allow him to handle it. She gave a nod, clearly reading in his face and going over to the kitchen for a drink. Giving her a grateful smile, he reset his face and returned his attention to Dan; he held the door a little closer hoping to keep Haley from catching sight of their visitor.

Before Nathan could yet again tell him to leave, Dan spoke.

"I'm impressed." He said, keeping his voice as sincere as he could manage. "You've obviously been working on communication. It couldn't have been easy."

"That's none of your business." Nathan dismissed.

Haley sat at the counter nursing a glass of juice, trying not to be bothered by the fact that Nathan didn't want her to know what he was talking about or to for that matter. Trying not to get frustrated by what was happening fifteen feet from her at her own front door.

A day at a time; that's what she was told.

The doctor, they told her it was how she would get through it. Some days she'd feel like it was barely a pebble in the way and others, something would happen to turn it into a huge stone wall blocking the road. This was now one of those 'something's.'

Nathan didn't want her to know what was going on. If she weren't as she was, he'd have to go outside or put off his conversation until later. But because of what happened, he could do it right in front of her and she couldn't do anything about it unless she inserted herself. She felt a sting in her chest as a familiar wave of emotion came over her. She felt like she was so much less than she was before. Her worth was going down; would it soon be completely gone? Would Nathan get tired of taking care of her; going out of his way to do things in a way that would make it easier for her?

She watched him, unable to see his face, and noticed how tense he looked with whomever he was speaking to. Why was he so upset? Why would-

Realization kicked in and Haley dropped her glass. It bounced off the counter at an angle and splashed liquid over the surface and onto her lap. She immediately stood and looked up to see her husband looking her way, concern flashing in his eyes. For a few moments, Haley could only stare at him before she finally got the words out.

"It's him, isn't it?" she asked. It had to be. No one else could get such a reaction from him so easily. "Nathan?"

His lips formed her name and she found herself uninterested in what he would say next. Instead, Haley went towards the door despite Nathan's obvious disagreement for her actions. He could easily stop her, she knew, but it didn't matter. Haley didn't need to get by him. When she was close enough, she grabbed the door and pulled it open completely.

Despite suspecting it, seeing with her own eyes that Dan was there caused her heart to speed up. This was her home; this was her safe place. His eyes turned to her.

"What are you doing here?" or she wanted to ask it, what came out was actually: "W-What…"

Her voice stuttered and faltered as she found an unfocused memory playing through her head.

Dan.

She was in jail. He came to see her and…said things. Threats or promises, whichever they were.

That's why he was there now. Dropping the charges was only a ploy to make sure he was the one who served her his perverse version of justice.

"Hello Haley." Dan greeted, over-emphasizing each part of the words. She had to keep from actually recoiling when he addressed her.

"She's not slow, Dan." Nathan voiced his disgust at his father's behavior.

"How are you?" he asked in a less emphatic tone.

Haley set her jaw, telling herself not to cower. She was strong. She could handle this.

"Fine." She replied tightly, afraid that her nerves would prevent her from controlling the volume of her voice if she gave it too much leeway. "What do you want?"

"I just came to check on my family and offer any help you need." He explained with a shrug.

"More like come to deliver on your promise." Haley stated speculatively, suddenly feeling anger replace her fear in portions. "You'd be there, isn't that what you said? That you'd be there when I got out."

"What are you talking about?" Dan asked; turning his eyes to his increasingly angry son. "I never said that."

Nathan clenched his fists and attempted to step towards the man. All that kept him was the sudden appearance of a hand on his upper arm. He glanced to Haley at his side where she touched his arm. He saw her arms travel between Dan and him; her eyes held her question. Dan didn't know how to speak to her, or around her. His words were quick and he spoke while shaking his head in denial. She couldn't get a handle on what he was saying.

Nathan looked to his father and reluctantly informed him of this. As much as he hated to share any personal information of theirs with him, Nathan knew Haley wanted and deserved to know what was being said to and about her.

"Look at her when you're talking." He told him. "She reads your lips."

His father rubbed his chin as if absorbing the information he was just given.

"Haley," he started again, now looking at the girl. "I don't know what you're talking about. I never made any promises."

Haley took a minute longer to get what he was saying than she did for Nathan. Everyone's style of talk was different and she hadn't had to try to read him yet. When she figured out what he was telling her she immediately began shaking her head.

"Yes, you did." She argued, trying to make the memory more vivid. "That night, y-you came to the jail. You came and –"

"What?" he interrupted. He looked to Nathan who was eyeing him suspiciously. "That never happened."

He turned his attention back to his daughter-in-law.

"Haley, I never came to visit you." He told her. "This is the first I've seen you since the hotel."

Haley furrowed her brow; his words striking a nerve. She shook her head again

"N-No." she looked quickly to Nathan. "He was there." Then back to Dan. "You were there. I remember. You said all these things. You said, you said when I got out you'd be waiting for me and…"

She groaned as she reached for a clearer version of the memory and couldn't find any more details. A lot of things were fuzzy when she tried to remember them.

"Haley," he tried again. "I know I haven't treated you kindly since…well, I suppose I've never been a welcome father-in-law. But you have to believe me here."

Haley watched him with intense contemplation. She was trying to figure out why he was doing this. It was some sort of game that much was obvious it had to be. But to what end? She knew he was playing at something; but even so, there was a sudden seed of doubt trying to pry its way into her thoughts. Haley shook her head again, this time at herself not at Dan, and tried to force the doubt away before it could grow. She knew what she saw.

"I spoke to the doctor," Dan went on and Nathan once again tensed at the mention of his wife's privacy being invaded by him. "He mentioned some of the …side effects involved in your condition."

Haley bristled and scratched her chin as she tried to keep control on the emotions threatening to react. She was strong. She had survived everything so far; she could deal with Dan Scott's words.

"Hallucinations aren't uncommon." The man finished saying.

She cleared her throat and looked to Nathan. She shook her head fiercely, praying – begging him – desperately with her eyes that he believe her. It was real. It had happened. She knew it did and she couldn't let Nathan doubt her, not about something so important. It was making her head spin.

"No." she replied harshly, turning away. "No, no, it happened. It happened and you can't…you can't come here an-and…"

Haley trailed off, putting a hand to her head. The spinning wasn't just metaphoric, she was feeling dizzy. This wasn't taking it easy. This definitely wasn't taking it easy.

"Haley?" Nathan said her name worriedly, coming up behind her. She flinched a bit in surprise at the unexpected touch.

Realizing it was Nathan, of course, she relaxed a bit.

"I'm fine. I just, I need to sit down." She confessed, allowing her husband to guide her to sit on the couch.

He leaned down before her, running his fingers down her cheek before feeling her for a temperature.

"Is she alright?" Nathan heard his forgotten company sounding incredibly close. He turned his head and found his father right beside him.

Nathan couldn't keep himself from reacting. He immediately let go of Haley and rose; shoving Dan as hard as he could.

"Don't come near her!" he ordered.

"I was just-"he was cut off when his son shoved him once again.

"She's not supposed to get worked up!" he shouted, pushing him hard again. "She's supposed to take it easy!"

"Son, I didn't-"

"I don't care what you came to say." He stated. "Take your words and your money and get the hell out!"

"Nathan-"

"_Now_ Dan." He demanded angrily to which his father found it within himself to look apologetic before excusing himself as he voiced a quiet wish for Haley to feel better.

The moment the door closed behind him, Dan couldn't help himself. The humble look he'd kept in place for the visit vanished and a smirk appeared in its place. He clapped his hands once and cocked his head once and clapped his hands once, speaking to himself.

"Too easy." He commented, sparing a glance over his shoulder towards the window which showed him his youngest son worriedly tending to his wife. Dan hadn't even anticipated having this kind of effect on her. "This is gonna be too easy."

Putting his hands in his pockets, he let out a content sigh and walked leisurely down the stairs.

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"Are you ok?" Nathan asked; realizing afterwards with her had leaning forward into her hands Haley couldn't see him or know he'd spoke. Concerned and afraid for her health, Nathan ran nervous hands down her arms, getting her to look up. "Are you ok? What are you feeling, Haley?"

She licked her lips and shook her head.

"I'm-I'm fine, I Just…I'm just kind of lightheaded."

Letting out a breath, he cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss on top of her head.

"Here." He started carefully guiding her to lie back on the length of the couch, while she made sure to keep her eyes on him. "Lay down for a while. I'll call the doctor."

"No." she replied quickly. She'd had more than enough doctors involved in her life as it was and didn't want to add another moment unless it was absolutely necessary. "Please, don't. You don't have to; I just need to lie down for a while. I swear; I'll be fine. It's only because of all the excitement. It hasn't exactly been an inactive day."

She tried to put a flirty smile on her face in reference to their earlier activities, but she knew she didn't pull it off. Truth was she was feeling too mixed up in her head about everything that had been said; specifically, what Dan had claimed. She had much more important things on her mind than trying to pull of suggestive comments. She grabbed one of Nathan's hands and pulled him to sit on the edge of the couch near her side.

"Nathan?" she started, glad to be unable to hear her voice for once; knowing there was a terrible waver in it. "You believe me…right? It wasn't a dream or the tumor. I _saw_ him there. I _know_ he was there that night. Do you believe me?"

Nathan heard the desperation and overwhelming uncertainty in her voice and his heart constricted in his chest. She so badly needed him to believe her on this. Easily enough, Nathan decided that he already did. Not just because he wouldn't put something like that passed Dan. Not just because in the entire time he'd spent with her while she was displaying symptoms and effects, he hadn't known her to have a single hallucination (though it was always possible he just wasn't aware that it happened.). It was because she was Haley; she was his heart and if she said it happened, Nathan believed it had without doubt.

Giving her hand a firm squeeze, he cupped her cheek with his free one and answered the affirmation aloud.

"I believe you." He told her; so much of him wishing they could make eye contact when he did so. With a sigh, he brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss onto the back.

"Get some rest." He instructed, running his hand over her head, knowing that not that long ago doing so would have presented him with the silk like softness of her beautiful hair. But he wouldn't think about that. "I'll wake you in a little bit to eat, ok?"

She nodded and he saw she was already falling asleep. He waited a few minutes without moving to ensure she was in fact dreaming away, and then rose without a sound. He rounded the couch and went to the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he pulled out his cell phone. Scrolling through all the numbers he had, several recently added since everything began what felt like years ago, he found the one he needed.

Even if she said she was just tired, Nathan needed to hear that it was nothing to worry about from the doctor. He needed to hear that she was really ok, just to be sure. For the rest of his life, he knew he'd need several reassurances that she was alright. He didn't think he'd ever be able to brush anything little thing off again.

He knew she didn't want him to do it, but he couldn't help himself. She was in this position because there were small signs that were continually brushed off over and over again until they became great big glowing signs; even then it wasn't until it hit the worst that anything was done.

He wouldn't let that happen again. Nathan would never take the risk that the next little thing could set him on a path that ended in losing her. With this in mind, he let out a heavy sigh and clicked on the contact, making the call.

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	37. Everlasting Light

**A/N: We're getting ready to move, so I'm not sure when we'll be getting that fancy internet thing again after we do. Anyways, I apologize that this chapter really is not long or too full of excitement, sorry. But I've always said, and will continue to say, that when I'm writing stories, I am not a sprinter…it's all about endurance. However, if you want a nugget of enticing, the next one will be…let's say action-y-er? Things will get going for sure. **

**Hope you like it.**

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"_Let me be your everlasting light_

_Your home when there is cold_

_In me you can confide_

_When no one's by your side"_

'_Everlasting Light'_

-The Black Keys

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Brooke waited anxiously, bouncing slightly in place on the concrete. Checking the time once again, she let out a loud breath when she saw it had been a whole two minutes since she last checked. She leaned her elbows on the railing in front of her and let out yet another sigh.

Why was she nervous?

It wasn't like she'd never done this before. She'd done it a thousand times; what was different this time?

She almost scoffed out loud; dumbest question ever.

The sound of the automatic doors sliding open behind her made Brooke turn around expectantly. However she turned right back around when she saw it was an elderly couple exiting.

Calm down, Davis.

Her brain mentally slapped her. It's no big deal. She was just hanging out with Haley. Remembering the talk she and Lucas had in his room the week before, Broke took a deep breath and felt her nerves begin to settle. This time when the doors slid open, Brooke was met with the sight of the young couple coming from the building. Turning around completely, she watched them, yet to notice her, as they came from the hospital. They were taking unconscious steps while both sets of eyes were focused on Nathan's hands.

He was moving them in some symbolic pattern she didn't understand. She noticed the hesitance in the movements and when they stopped, he looked up at his wife. Haley smiled, that was a nice sight, and shook her head before moving her own hands in a similar pattern with slight differences. Haley's hands moved slowly as well, but not with the uncertainty of Nathan's. Hers was more deliberate, moving smoothly yet slow to show her husband what to do.

Brooke smirked to herself as she realized what she was doing…always the tutor.

Nathan grinned before glancing up and seeing Brooke watching. Nodding at her, he put more focus on his steps and purposefully led them towards their friend. Brooke smiled genuinely as she came to meet them.

"Hey, Brooke." Nathan greeted, squinting slightly in the sunny day.

"Hello Scott's; Mr. and Mrs." She said happily. "How's it going?"

"It's a beautiful and I'm hanging with one of my best gals." Brooke explained. "I'm amazing. You?"

"We're good." Nathan answered, glancing at Haley and lifting his hands, moving them now in an attempt to sign while speaking. "Everything looks good."

He looked at his wife for approval and was happy to receive a smile and a proud nod.

"You're getting good at that." Brooke commented, and then looked at Haley. "You're better."

Haley shrugged and answered. "Tutor Girl."

"Maybe you could teach me some?" Brooke asked, and then spoke excitedly. "We can totally talk about people right in front of them and they won't have a clue what we're saying."

At that, Haley let out a chuckle and maneuvered her hands once more while looking at Nathan. Her husband read the playful humor in her eyes and mentally translating what she conveyed. He smirked and glanced toward Brooke who watched the exchange curiously, an amused smile on her face.

It was when Haley let out a chuckle that Brooke realized she seemed to be the punch line for something that played out right in front of her.

"What?" she asked, the smile still on her face as she looked from Scott to Scott. "What? What'd you say? What's she say?"

"Nothing." Nathan said pressing his tongue against his cheek and smiling for a moment before pressing a quick kiss on Haley's cheek. "I've got to get to work. Brooke's gonna hang out with you today, alright?"

Haley gave her friend a smile before turning back to Nathan. Yet again the cheerleader watched curiously as her friend conversed with her husband without a word spoken. Nathan shook his head and replied verbally right away.

"It's not like that." He said quietly, his eyes flicking toward Brooke. "Just have fun, ok? I'll be home tonight."

She let out a sigh and nodded. Nathan gave her another kiss before moving to Brooke. He spoke an explanation to her.

"She thinks you're here to babysit her."

Brooke glanced over to where Haley stood, looking down at her feet, one hand fiddling self-consciously with the tail of her scarf.

"I'll take care of her." Brooke stated confidently. "We'll have a great time; just two pals hanging out."

Nathan looked over his shoulder at Haley for a moment before continuing his conversation.

"If you can, try and get her to be out of the house for a while. Other than these checkups, she won't leave the apartment." He explained, and then added. "Oh, but don't overdo it. She's not supposed to get worked up really. So, you know, if she starts getting tired-"

Brooke put a hand on his chest to halt his concerned ramble.

"We'll be fine." She eased his worry. "Now go to work. You're gonna get fired before you even start."

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Haley sat in the passenger seat while Brooke started the car. Her friend immediately reached out and turned off the cd player as it sprang to life; her eyes flicked over to her passenger briefly before clearing her throat and turning the key.

Haley rolled her eyes and put her own hand out to turn it back on. When Brooke looked at her, Haley had laid her hand flat against the speaker on her door. She felt a bittersweet smile tug at her lips when she felt the vibration pulse through her fingertips and her eyes slid closed to bask in the music in her own way. A tap on her shoulder had her opening her eyes and looking to Brooke.

"Ready for a day out?"

"Out?" Haley felt herself say.

A look of quick panic flashed over her face as she wondered exactly what sort of 'out' Brooke had planned for them. She felt her hand travel up to touch the soft material wrapped around her head. She bit her bottom lip and looked back to her friend.

"I…I don't…"

"Hey," Brooke started. "Trust me."

Haley pondered for a moment before forcing a nervous smile and shaky nod.

"Great." Brooke said with a clap. "Let's get it started."

It wasn't much longer that Haley was looking curiously out the window at a row of buildings in a shopping center she didn't think she'd ever been to before. Of course, there was always the chance that she just didn't recall being there.

There were gaps and random points in her memory that nothing could be done for, but thankfully she hadn't come across anything important missing yet. Though, just because it wasn't a vital event didn't mean it felt any better when it happened. It was only a few days ago that she realized she had no idea where the cereal was kept in her own home. The realization had brought frustrated tears to her eyes.

"Where are we going?" she asked, turning to Brooke who gave her the grin that always meant she had something planned.

"You'll see." She responded. "Come on."

Haley took another look out the window, making nervous note of how many people were out and about. Brooke covered her hand to get her friend's attention. Once she had it, she gave her a small nod and a squeeze, comforting her without words.

"Come on." She said softer than before. "It's ok."

Haley nodded in return and took a deep breath before forcing herself to step out of the car. Brook was almost instantly at her side as soon as she touched the sidewalk. An arm was hooked through hers and she felt a large wave of gratitude come over her at the support she had from her former roommate.

She let Brooke lead the way, not really paying much attention herself to where they might be going. Instead, Haley couldn't keep her eyes from fluttering around as people moved around this way and that. Some didn't so much as glance at her, while others looked her way and immediately brought Haley's attention to their moving mouths. She had no idea whether or not they were actually talking about her, but it didn't make it any less nerve wracking to witness.

Finally, Brooke's steps halted causing Haley to snap back to what they were doing. She looked at the taller girl who tilted her head; gesturing to a store that Haley assumed was where she wanted to be. She cast her attention to the building to see where exactly Brooke had brought her.

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Nathan set down the large bin at the now vacant table and began the task of settling the used dishware into it and wiping off the surface. Making quick work of that one, he moved on to the next, returning a wave small wave from the leaving patrons. Focusing on the task at hand, he didn't notice the newest person to enter the café until the voice was directly behind him.

"Well, well…Nathan Scott; clearing tables, doing dishes and…" there was a pause as he turned around to face the speaker, allowing them a full look at him. "...wearing an apron? Wow, _what_ could possibly be wrong with this picture?"

He let out a sigh and turned back to finish what he was doing.

"What do you want Rachel?" he asked without looking away from the job he was doing. He really didn't want to deal with her right now, or ever.

He wasn't blind to the looks she threw his way during games and practices or the flirtatious comments she thought would amuse him. Nathan knew there was no chance in hell that he'd ever have the slightest interest in her, or anyone else for that matter, but the question was whether or not Rachel was going to get that through her head. She never went farther than the bomb sized "hints" as to her attraction to him, but she was damned annoying. On top of it all, she'd never been shy about flaunting that same attraction around Haley. If it had caused Haley's self-confidence to falter before, he couldn't imagine the kind of effect it would have on her now.

"Just had to see for myself if it was true." She commented, putting her hands on her hips stretching the already tight shirt even tighter across her chest. "Here you are…from MVP to busboy."

"Well you've seen me." He started, now finished with the table and grabbing his bin as he turned around once again. "Now leave, I've got work to do."

He walked by her, around the counter and through the swinging door, doing his best to ignore the sound of footsteps that immediately started following behind him. As he deposited the dishes into the sink, he heard the door swing inward behind him and the slow footsteps approaching. He focused intently on the dishes and prayed that it was Karen or one of the others. His assumption was proven absolutely wrong when he felt hands slide up his back and over his shoulders.

"Can't believe this." He muttered, slapping down the rag into the sink. He grabbed one of the hands tightly, speaking while he spun around quickly. "Rachel, I swear to-"

He froze when he got an eyeful of his visitor.

"Hey." She spoke with a smile though slightly confused by his reaction. "What-"

"Haley…" he started, surprised to see her before him. He cleared his throat, finding himself guiltily glad that she didn't hear what he'd said; specifically the name he'd spoken. "I…"

He shook his head to shake away the annoying redhead from his thoughts and began the paced movements of his hands.

"What are you doing here?" he spoke as he signed.

She gave him a smile and slid some hair behind her ear.

Hair?

His eyes widened a bit as he realized that he was looking at his wife as if she'd stepped out of a memory. The caramel colored hair was nearly exactly as it had been before, save for being only to her shoulders. Her shy smile became bordered by a blush when she noticed the realization come over his face. Self-consciously playing with the soft ends of the wig she questioned him:

"Do you like it?"

Nathan smiled at her without hesitation.

"Yeah." He nodded, still smiling. He reached out and ran his fingers through a section of it.

God, he missed doing this. As he indulged in the moment, he saw Haley close her eyes and pull her bottom lip between her teeth. He wondered how this felt for her; if she could tell that he was doing it with the hair not actually being a part of her body. He let his hand move to rest on her cheek instead and waited for her to open her eyes and focus on him.

"You didn't do this for me, did you?" he questioned with concern in his gaze. "Because you don't have to."

"I did it for you…" she answered, then continued on. "…and for me."

He looked at her, obviously waiting for more of an explanation. Haley let out a sigh and explained herself.

"I know it's just a wig and I shouldn't care about how I look when there's so much more going on," she started. "But when I was there and I looked in the mirror with it on, I felt…I felt like I wasn't so disconnected from the world anymore; I wasn't so out of place. Like my reflection was this normal version of myself, telling me…"

She shook her head and stopped there, unshed tears blurring the image in front of her. Nathan put his hands on either side of her head, brushing back the hair as he did so. He placed a kiss on her forehead and brought her against his chest, holding her close as he felt her arms wrap around his waist and her head maneuver to rest above his heart. As always, there was a noticeable release in the tension of her body when she was felt the steady thumping beneath her.

Nathan wanted to tell her she didn't have to explain anymore. If she was happy, nothing else mattered. He wanted to tell her she could never be disconnected from him; could never be out of place because that was the place they were both born to be in…with each other.

He wanted to tell her everything, but for now he'd just hold her, knowing she'd had an emotional day. When she was ready, he'd tell her these things.

Then he would tell her how sexy she looked with short hair.

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**A/N: Questions, Comments, Thoughts, Concerns?**


	38. Shadows

**A/N: Too much to explain right now, just know I'm very sorry for how long it's taken and that this story is not forgotten and WILL absolutely be completed. We're getting there. We're really really getting there.**

**I tried to make up for the length of time since an update by giving you length in the chapter. **

**Also, I put two references in this chapter. Can you find the two nods? One is a lot more obvious than the other. Anyway, if you get them, awesome! If you don't, that's ok. It's more a fun little thing for me than anything else.**

**Alrighty, enjoy!**

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"_I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer _

_I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go _

_I need you with me as I enter the shadows"_

'_Shadows' _

-Red

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Nathan watched from his seat on the mattress as Haley stood before the bathroom mirror. She was readying herself and he could tell she was nervous. It was a big day for her. The doctor at her latest appointment had informed her she could start thinking about returning to school. Of course as soon as she got the news she'd made a point to contact the high school. It had bothered her more than she wished him to know that she couldn't simply return to classes, get her make up work and just keep going like nothing happened.

She had to meet with the principal to go over arrangements for her to have an interpreter accompany her to her classes, as well as discuss her qualifications for graduation since she'd been gone for so long.

This gave her a quake of nauseating fear. What if she couldn't graduate with her class? What about Nathan? He'd been out almost as long as she was.

Lucas and Brooke had returned to school weeks ago after Karen practically forced them to. She let out a shaking breath and again looked over her reflection. She ran a hand over the fuzz that stuck out about an inch from her scalp, except for the still pinkish skin of her scar.

She touched her fingertips to the scar and shivered involuntarily. She was a bit blurred on the time directly before or after the surgery, but just the thought of it…seeing the proof that someone had cut her open was chilling. Her hand moved to her right ear, tracing the creases for a moment before she took in a breath and held it. Haley bit her bottom lip and then snapped her fingers once in the air near her ear.

Nothing.

Her breath released in a sigh. Every day that passed in silence, it became more and more likely that this was permanent. She had ridiculous fantasies of going to sleep at night and opening her eyes to the sound of Nathan breathing in bed beside her. Haley played up her acceptance of it for others, but inside she was as devastated as she tried to keep others from being. Her confrontation with Nathan had been for him to admit it, and she didn't regret it. However, admitting to something is a far cry from being ok with it. The last thing she needed was for everyone especially her husband to see how very not ok she was with herself at times.

This moment in the bathroom being one of those times.

She took another steadying breath and focused deeply in her reflection's eyes and mentally spoke.

'I'm still the same girl. I've got a great life and a great love. This won't get me down. This isn't a weakness. Today will be a good day.'

She closed her eyes and added a silent, 'Please' on the end of her mental pep talk.

Opening her eyes, she nodded once at the mirror, reaffirming the mantra she'd used more than once and then pulled the wig securely on her head. When she exited the bathroom she found Nathan waiting on the bed. Looking down at herself she used her hands to ask him how she looked.

"Beautiful." He spoke and signed simultaneously. It was one of the first gestures he'd set out to learn.

Haley smiled bashfully and tucked some of the hair behind her ear, easily having fallen back into the habit of doing so when self-conscious.

"Nervous?" he asked, moving to stand in front of her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Is it obvious?" she asked aloud, concentrating on attempting to keep her voice at a reasonable level. She slipped up occasionally, accidentally speaking much louder than necessary.

On top of not hearing how loud she spoke, Haley often found herself wondering if her voice sounded the same as she remembered it. The more she thought about that, the bigger the temptation grew to close her lips and never using her voice again; just sign. But she couldn't do that.

Everyone was going through so much trouble for her; she had to give them something. Nathan shook his head to her question making sure she was looking at him as he replied.

"Only to me."

At that she smiled at him, stepping up on her toes to meet his lips briefly before settling into her favorite place; leaning her head against his chest. She closed her eyes at the calm inducing thump of his heart and felt her body relax into him. Nathan was resting his chin on top of her head when he heard her speak again.

"Last time I was there," she started, "I was a tutor cheerleader working on new music."

Nathan held her tighter, understanding what she was thinking even before she went on to voice it.

"Now I'm…I'm a deaf, ex-fugitive who…" she shook her head against him and the words came out rushed. "who might not even graduate. Oh my God."

She turned away, laying a hand across her eyes and letting out a breath to compose herself. She felt Nathan hold her once more and she opened her eyes, feeling guilty for letting him see how upset she was. She looked up to see those breathtaking blue eyes gazing at her and she let out a breath before standing on her toes once more, this time to put her lips on his cheek and giving him a small smile.

"Sorry." She apologized. Haley stepped back and pushed the borrowed locks out of her face and spoke with her hands and voice simultaneously. "Just had to get that off my chest."

She then read Nathan's hands.

'Do you want me to join with you?'

She lifted the corner of her mouth at the small error. She knew what he was actually asking her, but she was amused regardless at the possible implication. He'd been working so hard at getting better at his signing and it meant everything to her; the same went for Brooke, Lucas and Peyton. Every time they met up, she could see their movements becoming smoother and their vocabulary growing by that much.

"No." she spoke for him to hear. "You missed enough class. I'll text you when it's over and we can meet up to talk about it."

"If you say so." He replied, still wishing she'd allow him to accompany her to the actual meeting. But he too had a long day ahead of him; not only was he to return to a regular class schedule he also had to find time to pull Whitey aside to talk to him about playing…or rather, not playing.

Nathan hadn't old Haley yet, but to keep up with the payments on the hospital bills, he was going to need to pick up as many hours as possible and he wasn't delusional enough to believe he could work two jobs and go to school and take care of his wife and play basketball. Something had to give and as much as it pained him to admit it, it had to be basketball that was sacrificed.

He shook it off and put an encouraging smile on his face for his wife and, after confirming that she had all her medicines in case she _was_ able to spend the day at school and wouldn't be back home until late afternoon, he took her hand and the two left the apartment.

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Lucas followed behind the two girls as they walked the stairs towards the apartment. He case his eyes back out over the parking lot as he ascended noticing an important detail.

"His car isn't here." He observed aloud as they came to the correct door.

"Maybe he left for work already." Brooke speculated.

"Has he ever left her alone without telling one of us to stop by?" Peyton asked, catching on to what Lucas was saying; they weren't home yet.

"Good point." Brooke acknowledged. "So they're not home yet, I guess we…" her sentence paused as she spotted the familiar car turning into the parking lot. "…wait."

Anxious to hear how the meeting went and when she'd be returning to classes with them, Brooke moved to the railing of the balcony to watch the couple. She wanted to tell on their faces whether it was good or bad news. Lucas and Peyton joined, just as anxious, on either side of her. The trio, leaning on their elbows, watched the car pull up and park. Brooke squinted, trying to see them better. She could see from her spot hands and mouths moving quickly but couldn't tell if it was anger or Haley's rambling excitement.

The nerd, Brooke thought with a grin.

She continued to watch until her smile fell; Haley exited the car quickly, slamming the door behind her and not looking back as she started towards the apartment building. Nathan followed suit, calling her name out of habit as he jogged to catch up with his wife.

"Oh no." Brooke said softly, seeing proof that it hadn't gone well at all.

All three stood up straight as the couple climbed the staircase with Haley in the lead who didn't seem to notice their friends. Instead, she unlocked the door and entered the apartment, Nathan coming up just as the door was nearly closed.

"Haley." He said again, pushing his way inside and followed by the curious and concerned trio.

Lucas brought up the rear behind the girls in time to hear the bedroom door slam shut and Nathan's attempt to twist the obvious locked knob.

He knocked on the door and leaned his forehead against it. How many times in their marriage had he found himself talking to the bedroom door?

This question came to mind right before the upsetting: How was he supposed to talk her from this mood this time?

The door cut off all form of communication for him to reach her.

"I take it, it didn't go well?" Lucas asked, coming up behind him.

Nathan sighed at the reminder of the audience and spoke to the door, "No." before turning around.

Looking straight at his brother he finished. "It didn't."

He pushed through the small crowd in the tight hallway and headed towards the kitchen; opening the refrigerator in search of a beer. He wondered how much trouble he'd get in right now if all the fancy monitoring officials knew he kept alcohol in his underage home.

He scoffed as he grabbed a can anyway. He needed to talk to Haley, but first he needed to take the edge off; damn the courts and whatever they said.

"Nathan." He heard Brooke's voice as they now had apparently followed him to the kitchen. "What happened today?"

He let the hiss of the popping can-top answer first before taking a swig.

"Nathan?" this time it was Peyton.

He put the can on the island and braced both hands on the counter's edge, leaning forward and hanging his head. He tightened his grip on the hard surface as he felt a hand lay upon his tense shoulder. Without bothering to find out whose, Nathan finally spoke with his head still down.

"There isn't enough money." He informed them of what Haley had told him after her meeting.

"What? What do you mean?" Brooke asked confused.

"In the budget…the school's budget." He raised his head, discovering the hand belonged to Peyton. "Turner told Haley that…that there isn't room in the budget for them to provide her a translator for her classes."

"What?" both girl's said in disbelief.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"How is that possible?"

They both spoke their respective responses at the same time.

Nathan ran his hand roughly through his hair and explained further.

"The amount they have to spare would be enough to pay for partial days the rest of the year." He told them. "So they would retool her schedule to shorten her class load and days to match it.

"But…" Peyton started fiddling her fingers with her curls nervously as her brain worked through the information. "But wouldn't that mean, I mean that's not enough credits, right?"

He took another sip.

"It's not." He closed his eyes, keeping them shut as he tried to control himself. He was remembering the look in his wife's eyes and her crumbling face as she told him the next part. "It means Haley won't be able to graduate; not this year…not with us."

"No!" Brooke spoke forcefully, anger suddenly pulsing through her at how very unfair it was. "No, they can't do that. Not to Haley. I mean, Jesus, she's the smartest in our year, probably the whole damn school! How can they do this?"

"Brooke's got a point. I mean, shouldn't stuff like this, help for d-disabled students-" she faltered on the word, and let her eyes dart from side to side for a moment before continuing. "- be taken care of by the city? It's not a private school living off tuition and donations."

Nathan let out a bitter laugh.

"That's the best part ,isn't it?" he asked, rhetorically before going on. "School's funding in a lot of areas were cut in favor of raising the budget for the sport's department. You know who did that? Our Mayor."

He felt his hand crushing the crackling aluminum. "My father."

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Brooke stated, not exaggerating the disgust she was now feeling. "I don't believe this."

Brooke glanced to see a speechless Peyton with clenched fists at her side.

"We'll talk to him." Brooke suddenly suggested earning an angry glare from Nathan.

"What?"

"I'm serious." She confirmed. "We should talk to Dan. Explain the situation. Come on, it's not like he made this decision to mess with Haley. The decision can't be made and put into effect quickly enough for it to be related. I mean, knowing Dan it was the first thing he planned to do anyway. "

"Even so, it doesn't mean we should go talk to him." Peyton spoke up. "He may have dropped the charges but that was for publicity, I'm sure. He's not going to go out of his way to help Haley after she shot him."

"But he knows it wasn't her; not really." Brooke argued. "He dropped the charges because he knows it wasn't her fault."

"That doesn't mean anything." Nathan shook his head.

"Isn't it worth a try?" she questioned. "If there's a chance it helps Haley?"

Brooke knew this was a low blow. Of course there was nothing Nathan wouldn't do for Haley…but she also knew Dan was the wild card in Nathan's deck. There was no predicting an outcome or decision where he was concerned.

Nathan put his hands on his hips. His mind recalled his father's seemingly sincere concern and offer to help them out. He didn't trust him. He didn't want to make the mistake of letting him into their lives even more than he already was and then find himself regretting it like he always did. But after Nathan's accident on the track, Dan _had_ taken care of those overwhelming bills. What had he asked for in return? To be in Nathan's life, to be a family again.

Realizing he'd been thinking quietly for a few minutes he spoke to the girls.

"I'll think about it."

"Good." Brooke nodded and Peyton then offered.

"And if you don't want to talk to him yourself, we'll do it for you." The blonde suggested. "I'm sure Lucas-"

"Where is Lucas?" Brooke suddenly noticed the boy wasn't with them.

Down the hall, away from the conversation in the kitchen, the blonde boy sat on the floor outside the closed bedroom door. He was waiting now, ignoring the ache in his legs that were too long to fully lay out the width of the hallway he was in.

Tapping the pen against the side of his leg, he sat in a patient silence until he finally heard what he was waiting for. A soft rustling of paper sounded causing him to cast his eyes downward. Sure enough the small memo pad had been fiddled beneath the door with a response now scribbled on it. He picked up the small book and read over the familiar handwriting.

He felt himself frowning as he saw in her own handwriting, his best friend's account of herself. His blue eyes read over her admission that she was a failure. It stabbed his heart and he flipped the page over, scratching with passion that she couldn't fail at anything if she tried.

Underlining to make his point, Lucas slid the notepad back under the door and found he didn't have to wait long at all for a response.

'_Even Taylor graduated with her class!'_

Lucas shook his head, debating internally if he should go the route his mind immediately came up with a reply.

'_And how many teachers went to the free clinic afterwards?'_

He smirked, hoping it wouldn't fall flat, and pushed his response beneath the crack. He held his breath a moment and then came a glorious sound.

She laughed.

Lucas broke into a full smile when he heard the short burst of laughter, picturing in his mind the way Haley had, no doubt, covered her mouth to contain it because she felt she shouldn't joke about her sister's…habits.

He smiled remained and Lucas leaned his head back against the wood and closed his eyes.

The notebook came back and he looked at it curiously when he saw no new response. But that was only until he heard her muffled voice from beyond the door.

"Thank you."

He held a small smile, laying his palm against the door that still separated him from his best friend.

"You're welcome." He said quietly, wishing for all the world that everything would get better for her. HE heard his name being called and let out a sigh.

He scribbled one last note to her explaining that he had to go and for her to come out when she was ready. After looking longingly at the bedroom door a moment more, before sliding his heads into his pockets and walking away.

Nathan was sitting alone in the living room, contemplating everything that had happened on what had started out as such a promising day. Everyone had left about an hour or so ago, and Nathan had called in to Tric, explaining he just wouldn't be able to work that night.

Haley was still in their bedroom while Nathan was left with his thoughts and the echo of Lucas' advice to just give her some time.

Nathan found himself startled out of his head when his cell gave a small chirp. After opening it up he saw that it was a text from Tim. He ignored it, not feeling like putting up with his oddity. But it did give him a thought.

He opened a new message and typed it out a simple text.

'_I love you.'_

He sent it away and closed his phone with a sigh, leaning his head back against the couch cushions. Shutting his eyes, Nathan covered them with a hand, pinching the bridge of his nose.

It was in this position he heard a soft click from somewhere. Opening his eyes, he lifted his head and saw Haley emerge slowly from the hall.

"Hey." She said softly, slowly padding across the carpet towards him.

"Hi." He answered with a relieved smile, his surprise at her appearance showing on his face.

Nathan stretched out a long arm towards her and Haley took the silent invitation right away. She settled on the couch leaning into him. Her head was resting on his chest as always while Nathan ran his fingers through her hair. After a moment he heard her ask the big question.

"It's going to be ok, right?" it was almost a whisper.

He took a breath and promised, speaking out loud even though he knew she wasn't facing him, for he knew she already knew what he would say.

"Yes." He swore softly. Everything would be alright.

He decided in that moment, that he would talk to Dan. He'd ask for his help…for Haley.

How bad could it be?

X

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"Don't I know you?" a voice asked over the man's shoulder.

Turning away from the half full glass on the bar ahead of him, the man turned to face the voice. His eyes instantly recognized the Mayor staring at him with amusement.

"Mr. Mayor." He greeted with a nod before lifting his glass for a sip of the burning amber liquid.

"I never forget a face." Dan said, pointing a finger at the silver haired man as he sat on the stool beside him. "But for the life of me, your name is just _not_ there."

"Veil." The man at the bar finally answered and Dan let out a laugh.

"That's right." He said, keeping his voice friendly. "Martin Veil, hotshot lawyer from the big city. You were on a big case recently, weren't you?

Martin sighed and turned in his stool to completely face the bar once again.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he asked, annoyed by this game Scott was playing. Of course he knew him and his most recent case.

"That's right." He repeated the same phrase again, this time elongating the second word and snapping his fingers. "You're the suit defending my shooter."

"The suit your ex-wife hired to defend your shooter. Go figure that out." He remarked before tilting the last of his drink back and signaling for another.

Dan smirked, ordering for himself as well.

"Why still in our small town, hotshot?" Dan answered then gestured to the bar around them. "Is this the celebration? Drink a few then off you go; forget this one night stand and move onto the next one that catches your eye?"

"Celebrating?" he asked with a bitter chuckle. "There's a twisted point of view."

The older man lifted his glass in front of him while looking at the mayor beside him.

"To the cancerous tumor in the teenage girl's skull and all the people who didn't listen when she said she felt sick…_including_ one hotshot lawyer from the city." He tilted the glass towards Dan. "Cheers."

Dan only grinned and took his own drink in response; sucking air through his teeth to gratify the burn of the alcohol.

"Sounds like a tough one there, huh? But it's really just a drop in the bucket, right?" Dan continued to pester him. "A guy like you…defending the worst of the worst. I'm sure once you're back in all those city lights you'll forget all about this experience."

Martin scoffed and put his down before rising to stand.

"The rumors are true, then. You really aren't human at all, are you?" he asked a bit loudly. "Maybe you don't understand how thoroughly I study my opposition, _Mr. Mayor. _I've learned so many details about you that I seriously find myself wondering why the only time someone's shot you is when it wasn't intentional. You're right. I see the worst of the worst every day and from what I know you're one of them."

His eyes narrowed as he recalled from memory all examples of what he'd learned about Daniel Scott.

"A man who pushes his son to the point of near abuse until he legally separates himself from you. A man who abandons his first born and the treats it like a joke. Who blackmails his wife into postponing a divorce, not because he loves her, but because the voters put more faith in a married man. A man who takes his brother's business, his livelihood from him just because he can, and a man who _pays_ someone to seduce his son's wife."

Martin was seething the words out in a dangerously low voice, having moved closer to Dan as he spoke. Now he found himself leaning close to his face, his intense eyes burning into Dan's.

"I've been through your life with a fine toothed comb, Dan Scott. I've spoken to everyone you've ever tried to use, intimidate, or manipulate. I know your sins, Dan, and the fact that you walk around with that shit smile tells me you don't care about anything you've done. But for the rest of us, there are some things that you can't walk away from; there are things that _never _leave you. It doesn't matter what city or town you're in. Some things are always there."

The two held eyes for a few silent moments in which Martin began to believe he'd finally succeeded in shutting him up. But Dan then said the last words Martin Veil could have ever guessed were coming.

"Things like the altar boy?" Dan questioned.

Martin's eyes widened in shock and he pulled away as Dan now rose to stand as well.

"You're not the only one who's thorough." He told him confidently as he adjusted the jacket of his suit.

Martin's mouth opened and closed, looking not unlike a gaping fish.

"How many nights did you spend in a place like this, trying to forget that one, huh?" Dan asked him, not giving him an actual chance to answer before he went on. "You know, maybe it wasn't that you _didn't_ believe Haley was sick, maybe you just didn't want a repeat-"

Dan was cut off by Martin's fist. The mayor was knocked back into the bar and several patrons appeared to keep the angry lawyer away from him.

"No it's ok." Dan spoke, acting as if the hit hurt more than it actually did.

He rolled the shoulder nearest to his recovered bullet wound for good effect, reminding everyone of his injury as well as his care and concern for his sick daughter-in-law who he graciously forgave for the incident once it became known that the girl was ill. A well-played move.

Too easily getting sympathy from the witnesses and labeling the stranger from out of town the villain of the night.

"Be careful with that temper Mr. Veil." He spoke 'genuinely' while they had an audience. "Don't want to find yourself in some kind of trouble."

The Tree Hill locals then watched the New Yorker storm out in an angry huffy, bumping someone with his shoulder on the way out and slamming the door. After a few more milking moments, Dan excused himself and went outside, the heavy gray clouds making it seem much later into the evening than it actually was.

He began walking while taking out his phone and dialing. It was answered after one ring and Dan didn't waste any time on pleasantries.

"Are you following him? Alright, let me know when it's done and you'll get your money." He paused a moment as he halted his steps and asserted. "Make it look good."

He hung up without a goodbye and gave a smile and nod to a couple walking by with a leashed dog.

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**A/N: Hope you liked it! Gah! What's going to happen!**


	39. War Of The Worlds

**A/N:** Yeah it's been forever. Things have been really crazy. I wrote this forever ago and haven't had time to sit and type it. At this very moment my great grandmother is in the ICU and without going into details I'll just say that I don't think it's one she's going to bounce back from. I suppose it's not shocking, considering she's my GREAT grandmother and has had many years in this life, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

Well here we go, I hope you guys like it. This is a big Haley centric chapter and there isn't a lot of dialogue but I really like how it works in continuing to move the story forward. I guess I put a "Language Warning" at the beginning of this?

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"_If this is the war of the worlds_

_Then I don't want to be a part_

_If this is the war of the worlds_

_Then I don't want to be a part."_

'_War of the Worlds'_

-Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.

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Haley was alone when she found out what happened to Martin Veil. Brooke was supposed to be on her way over but was running late and Nathan had to leave for work. He elected to wait until Brooke actually arrived before leaving, but Haley didn't want him to risk being late; especially over something as simple as leaving her alone for twenty minutes or so.

She didn't need the constant supervision despite what everyone else believed. She argued this and was given a slight reward when Nathan, albeit reluctantly, left her with a kiss and a promise to check in when he could.

It wasn't long after he left that Haley turned on the news. Her eyes continuously switching between the footage and the scrolling subtitles to follow what was happening outside her four walls. It was then that shock struck her. A picture of her former lawyer appeared on screen. Haley was so taken back by seeing his face on the news that she forgot to look to the words moving on the lower part of the screen.

When she remembered herself and looked, she only caught the end of the story.

"…_Veil made big news in Tree Hill after arriving to work as defender for Haley James Scott…"_

Haley stopped paying attention to the captions as they gave a recap of the case; her case. Her eyes were drawn to images of her yearbook photo, her mug shot from her first arrest; then they showed a picture of her and Nathan at what had to be a basketball game since he was in his uniform and covered in a noticeable sheen of sweat.

She wondered who had given them that picture. Her brow furrowed in confusion after they showed the image of Dan was shown next to one of the taped off Scott house where the shooting happened. Her confusion spawned from the video clip that followed the photos; her being led from the transport bus up the steps to the building she wasn't sure she'd ever leave. It showed her head down and her steps unsteady, it was obvious to her as she looked on from the outside that something wasn't right. She had to question why no one else had noticed enough to check her out right away. Haley narrowed her eyes at the point in the clip where she actually stumbled and quickly shut off the television.

She didn't remember that happening, but honestly, she didn't remember several thing about those last days too clearly…or some various other memories throughout her life that were now much vaguer than they had been before.

Regardless of that, she didn't want to see it with her own eyes how bad it got. All of it…her.

She didn't want to think about it. Leaning her elbows on her knees, Haley pressed her face into her hands and let out a sigh. She was tired.

Tired of worrying about money even though Nathan told her not to. Tired of worrying about _him_ even though he told her not to. She couldn't help it; knowing he was taking everything onto his shoulders made her so very concerned, and the fact that it was all due to her made her feel guilty. Her young husband was going to run himself ragged…and what about basketball?

He hadn't mentioned anything to her about getting back into uniform since they'd come home and that broke her heart.

Nathan loved the game. He needed it and not just because it was his best shot at college.

_College._

Her other huge worry was school. How was she supposed to just sit back and let all her academic struggles and achievements suddenly mean nothing?

Can't have a full day. Can't get enough credits. Can't graduate with everyone else.

She pulled up a memory; a crystal clear one of her oldest sister, Vivian's, graduation. Viv was valedictorian, giving her speech in front of everyone. Sure she'd just been a child at the time, but Haley decided then that she wanted that too.

But now…

_No._

Her mind stated firmly.

She wouldn't just stand aside let that happen. Too much control had been taken from her lately and she was sick of it. This was something she could take control of. This was something she _would_ take control of.

Turner had given her option, but those were based on the fact that they couldn't find a full time interpreter for her. But no one seemed to consider that she didn't need one full time.

She'd gotten pretty good with reading lips, hadn't she? Haley felt her mouth twitch in a small smile; hope blooming in her chest as she rose to her feet with an idea. She ran to the bedroom and dug around until she found it.

Of course.

She ran her finger over the buttons on the small digital recorder. She used it for song writing but she could happily use it to record lessons in class. Record them there and bring them home and play it into the computer microphone. She'd have her very own transcript of everything discussed. She knew realistically she couldn't expect to depend solely on reading lips to be able to go through her classes. Haley would talk to Principal Turner and accept the amount of time she'd have with an interpreter, but she would pick and choose which classes for them to be present.

She'd need them for the more interactive and hands on classes where she'd need to know what was happening right away. But the classes that are heavier on lecture and bookwork, she'd be alright on her own with the recorder.

She could do this.

With renewed sense of determination, Haley opened up the laptop to send an email to the principal explaining just that. However, she was suddenly distracted when, upon opening her web browser, Haley saw the face of her lawyer once again as a major headline. Her eyes ran over the headline: _Defender Attacked in Small Town_.

She had to read it twice to really accept that she'd seen it right. Without reading all the subtitles, Haley had just assumed it was some follow-up, "Where are they now?" type of report for a slow news day. She never considered that something had actually happened to him. Opening the article, she read through it quickly; devouring all the information and very nearly finding herself nauseous by the end of it.

The man had been found early that morning, just after dawn it said, beaten and robbed in an alleyway.

It didn't say anything about his injuries, just that he was currently being treated in town before returning to New York to his firm and there were no leads on the, supposedly, random incident.

The whole thing gave Haley a disturbing roll of the stomach as her first conclusion immediately was that it hadn't been random at all.

Again the scene played through her mind…

Dan outside her cell; his voice a bit foggy in her memory but the threats still came across all too clear.

It was real. It _had_ happened.

She shook her head, rattling the haunting recollection from her as her phone buzzed in her pocket. Opening it assuming it was Nathan checking in, Haley was surprised to see it was actually from Brooke. The message apologetically stated that she still hadn't left yet but would tell Haley as soon as she was on the way. While taking in the information, Haley attempted to remember what it was Brooke was busy doing, but her brain was so rattled that she quickly gave up.

She just resigned herself not to think about it, and maybe when Brooke came Haley would ask her to drive her over to the hospital to see that he was alright and wish him well. Then, Haley couldn't help but feel herself prickle at her own thought; the reminder that she was always with a babysitter.

Yes, logically she knew they meant nothing but the best when "keeping her company" or "popping in to hang out," but how was she supposed to prove to the outside world that she wasn't helpless if her own tight circle didn't seem to believe it?

She was deaf, not an invalid.

Haley had been taking care of herself for years; since her parents decided it would be fine to take their weekend trips and Taylor decided she was far too cool to sit around looking after her little sister while they were gone.

She sent a response to Brooke, telling her not to worry or rush, and just come by whenever. After sending it away, Haley bit her lip as she contemplated the chances of Brooke agreeing to take Haley to the hospital to visit Mr. Veil.

She couldn't shake the cold feeling that I wasn't just some mugging; that it had something to do with her somehow and with him defending her. With a groan Haley cursed to herself, although she knew she'd let it slip out loud as well, when she realized that _she_ was doing it too. Acting as if she needed the others for simple things in her life. She'd gotten around just fine on her own before; having the ride made it quicker but it wasn't necessary.

She shouldn't have to ask permission to go visit the man who'd played a huge part in saving her life by calling for help when she most needed it. She didn't have to.

This could be step one in proving herself to everyone.

Not long after making this self-declaration, Haley had her wig firmly in place over her fuzzed head, double-checked that she had sufficient bus fare for both directions and grabbed her apartment key. She made sure to send a text to Brooke to let her know where she was going just so she wouldn't be waiting for her to answer the door, and panic when she didn't, is she showed up before Haley got back.

At the door, Haley took a deep breath in recognition of her nervousness before stepping outside on her own.

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The computer keys clicking information into the database was the dominating sound among the quiet murmurs of discussion and the occasional cough or sniffle. Every now and then a page would ring out for someone but nothing terribly drastic or exciting seemed to be happening. The hospital was probably one of the only places where a slow day was a good thing.

However, it also meant catching up on the tedious paperwork, and that was exactly what Rebecca Hess was doing when a voice reached her ears from in front of the desk.

"E-Excuse me?"

It was nervous, that much was obvious, but there was something else about the way it sounded, something uncertain and…off.

The veteran nurse spoke before actually lifting her head.

"How can I help you?" she asked, then raised her eyes and gave full attention to her visitor.

Her sight found a young brunette with a slightly familiar face. The girl before her appeared to be a bit shaken by something as she fiddled with her hair, nervously sliding it behind her ear more than once. She cleared her throat when she saw she had her attention.

"Could you help me?" she asked the question which Rebecca found awfully redundant seeing as she just asked _how _she could help the girl, but she made the fair assumption that whatever she needed help with, the girl was just terribly nervous; something not uncommon in a hospital setting.

"Of course." She said with a friendly smile and a nod before repeating herself. "What can I do for you?"

After a beat of silence the girl answered her.

"I..I was hoping to visit a patient?" she said it as a question.

"Sure." She gave the anxious teenager another warm smile, deciding her demeanor stemmed from concern about the well-being of someone she cared about. Happy to help, Rebecca looked back to the computer and asked the necessary question. "What's their name?"

Rebecca poised her fingers on the keys to begin typing and waited. When she got no response, she glanced back up and saw the girl looking at her with a concentrated look. Confused, she repeated herself; this time making sure to get eye contact with the girl in hopes that she could keep her from getting distracted by the sometimes intimidating environment.

"Who are you trying to…" she stopped talking when the girl's eyes dropped from hers and the woman realized she moved them to look at her mouth.

The thought flashed through her mind that this was a strange girl…and why did she seem so familiar? Was she a regular hospital visitor for someone in long term care, perhaps? No, surely then she wouldn't be coming to the desk so uncertainly; she'd know the procedures to take.

Rebecca opened her mouth to ask the girl if she was alright, but halted when she finally realized what was happening. As soon as her lips parted to speak, the girl's brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed in on them in focus.

"Oh." She voiced after a moment, feeling a bit ignorant for not noticing the subtle clues sooner, or at least not adding them up.

She lowered her head, forcing the girl's eyes to meet hers. She found them to be watery and possibly a bit frightened. She gave a soft smile, and lifted her notepad out of her breast pocket. She scribbled down the question and held it up between them.

After what appeared to be a few moments of emotion in the young girl, she shook her head and answered. Rebecca had to assert by all the behaviors that this girl hadn't been deaf very long at all.

Haley's eyes, that were still stinging from the last attempt her tears had made on the way to the hospital, once again blurred with fresh moisture. It had been harder than she'd anticipated, getting there on her own that is. She'd been overwhelmed and disoriented by the large amount of people and traffic out and about. Without Nathan, or any of her friends to be her buffer, it was dreadfully frightening. Every passing person or car that zoomed by her spot on the sidewalk startled her.

All because of the written question the woman in front of her had asked. With her teary eyes ready to overflow, Haley shook her head, clearing her throat before speaking again.

"I, um, I'm d-deaf." She informed the woman communicating with her. "I'm sorry."

She added the last part with less strength. Haley ran her fingers through the hair of the wig and fought the urge to run to the nearest bathroom to make sure it was in place properly. She watched as the nurse gave her a polite smile and held up her index finger, asking Haley to wait a moment.

Her soft brown eyes watched her call across the room and speak to someone. She tried to read what she spoke but could only get snippets and she wasn't positive she'd even seen them right. The woman's head was angled away from giving Haley a full view of her lips. She might have said 'help' at one point.

Soon there was a man standing before her in scrubs and Haley couldn't help but take a step back. He was quite large and very intimidating. Was she being kicked out?

But no, the woman said something to him and then he was raising his big hands and, instead of using them to force her out, signed an introduction to her.

'_Hello. My name is Brian. This is Dr. Hess.'_ He began, expertly. _'What is your name?'_

"Haley." She answered, out loud.

"She said she was here to visit a patient," Rebecca informed him and he nodded before turning his attention back to Haley.

'_You're here to see someone, Haley?'_ he asked, getting a nod as Haley wrapped her arms around herself. _'What's their name?'_

"Martin Veil."

The two in front of her shared a look between them before Dr. Hess said something to him and shaking her head.

'_You're not family, are you?' _he asked and at the shake of her head he continued. _'I'm sorry but we can't allow anyone but family.'_

"But I have to see-" Haley halted herself when she realized by the looks on their faces that she was speaking far too loud. Instead she began moving her hands as quickly as possible to. _'Please, I have to see him. It's important. I promise I just need a few minutes. He saved my life, and I…have to make sure he's ok. Please."_

"She says he saved her life." Brian translated as she signed before them. "She needs to see him for a few minutes and make sure he's alright…Please."

"He saved her life?" Rebecca questioned, confused. "How would…"

She trailed off for a moment, taking a good look at the girl; seeing that same pull of familiarity when she saw her face.

"Ask her…Is she Haley James-Scott?"

He did as she asked and in return she gave a nervous nod.

"Whoa." He spoke the very thought that was in her head. "I read about that, he really did save her life. She'd probably have died before the trial."

"A few minutes…" Rebecca began, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "…couldn't hurt."

He nodded in response and turned back to Haley.

"_Five minutes."_

Haley nodded feverishly and followed after the man as he led her down the hall. They came to a room with the privacy blinds shut and he paused once more to remind her that she didn't have very long. Without him saying so, Haley got the distinct feeling that they were doing this because of who she was and what had happened.

X

* * *

X

He heard the door open and groaned at the thought of more nurses coming to poke or pull or prod. He pressed a hand into his temple, the one without the thick plaster cast around it, and shut his eyes tight; the action pulling on the bandaging around his left eye.

"Whatever it is, I don't need it." He stated with his eyes clenched shut in a combination of pain and annoyance. "I'm not hungry or thirsty or itchy and I don't need a bath or a fuckin' piss. So just get out."

He waited to hear the sound of the exit and closing door, but instead only heard footsteps coming closer towards him.

"I'm serious here; I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone." He ordered again.

Still the footsteps continued forward until he heard them come to a stop right near his bedside. This angered him beyond belief. Not only was he stuck in small town hell and beat to a damn pulp, but the inept hospital staff 'helping' him didn't listen to a damn word he said.

"I said get the hell out of here!" he shouted and sat up full of rage, ignoring the flare of pain it sent through his chest. "What are you, de-"

His words died in his throat when he saw his visitor.

X

* * *

X

Brooke was speeding.

She knew she was speeding.

She didn't care.

After getting the text from Haley that she was going out to the hospital, she forgot all about the appointment she had with the facilitator for her community service hours. She had been waiting half an hour to be seen, but after getting the message she left. Just like that; she took off and was now speeding towards the apartment hoping with all she had that she could catch her before she'd gone too far on her own.

She was just about to get to the street she needed when the sirens filled her ears. Looking up to the rearview, she was damned to hell seeing the red and blue lights flashing right behind her.

"Oh, no." she stated as she began to slow to the side of the road.

When she stopped completely she slammed her hands on the steering wheel.

"Fuck!"

X

* * *

X

Haley was practically shaking when she walked through the hospital's entrance doors. No, not practically…Haley was shaking.

Right down to her core she was shaking. She'd been so out of it that she hadn't caught anything that Brian had tried to tell her when she passed by him in the lobby.

She didn't have much of a conversation with Mr. Veil, but what she had learned seemed like a disturbing confirmation of her speculation and fear. Through written notes, due to the fact that his lips were too busted and swollen to adequately allow her to read, he'd answered her questions on what happened and what he remembered.

He told her he remembered Dan.

Dan found him in the bar and they'd had words. Back and forth until Martin found himself goaded into taking a strike at the mayor in front of a room full of witnesses. He appeared drunk and out of control when he stormed out of the bar.

The next thing he remembered was getting jumped just a few minutes' walk from the business. He put up a fight as much as he could, but he'd been taken by surprise. It was all very suspicious and, though he didn't outright say it, Haley got the feeling that he was pretty sure it wasn't a coincidence.

Before she left, his final words to her were "Be careful."

Be careful.

The two words rang through her head as she continued on her way towards the bus stop.

Be careful, because he's out there. Be careful, he has power. Be careful, he knows exactly what he's doing. Be careful because he hates you.

Be careful…he'll come for you.

She wrapped her arms even tighter around her quivering torso. She walked with her head down, her feet continuing one after the other while her brain continued along the same train of thought.

No one around her seemed to think anything of the quiet girl moving by. Even the most avid follower of the events didn't know to recognize her with her wig acting as a curtain for her downward face. She could blend in with any other person walking down the sidewalk.

That was exactly why no one thought to do anything as the seemingly regular girl absentmindedly stepped onto the crosswalk without pausing to check for traffic. That was why only a few shouts were sent her way as a car came barreling down that section of road, none of them knowing she was unable to hear their warnings.

X

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X

**A/N:** Hope that the length of this makes up for how long it's taken me to give to you.

On a side note I just found out that my G-Grandma is going to be released! Yes! 85 years old and still not done! I love her!


	40. Breathing Underwater

**A/N: Hiya folks! I'd like to give a high five for not taking multiple months to come back to you guys on this! Yes, I know I left you in quite a spot, sorry everyone. I know you guys all kind of wanted to punch me for doing it, but I'm hoping that my somewhat speedy-ness will encourage you to pull your punches a bit and not hurt me too badly? **

**And side note I have to take the time to acknowledge that I've reached 300 reviews on this baby! Who knew an idea I had almost 2 years ago (wow, really 2 years?!) about Haley shooting Dan and a brain tumor, would lead us here? Ah, I can't express how appreciative I am to all of you who've stuck with me and this through all my sporadic lapses in updating and crazy plot rides!**

**You guys have no idea how much you rock!**

**X**

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"_They were right when they said_

_We were breathing underwater_

_Out of place all the time_

_In a world that wasn't mine to take"_

'_Breathing Underwater'_

-Metric

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**X**

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Haley was ripped from her thoughts, and her feet, by an arm suddenly wrapping around her stomach and pulling her backwards. She fell back, hitting her elbow on the concrete sidewalk and partly landing on what was unmistakably a person.

Someone had grabbed her. She felt panic well up in her chest and she immediately sat up and began scrambling away before even looking at who her attacker was. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped as she glanced up to see a man and woman she couldn't remember ever seeing before.

She was shaking as her heart beat viciously in her chest. The woman lowered herself to squat beside her and asked if she was ok. Haley didn't respond, only looked around at what was a small crowd gathered around her.

She tried to stay calm and managed not to yelp in surprise when someone, she assumed the man who'd been with the thirty something woman beside her, gently lifted her to her feet. Haley finally moved her eyes over towards the person she'd darted from and felt her heart lodge itself in her throat at the sight of Dan Scott pulling himself up and dusting off his now wrinkled shirt.

Haley held her breath, the image of Mr. Veil in the hospital bed flying through her head. She froze, ignoring the several people around her who were probably still asking her questions.

Dan nodded and smiled at something that someone near him said. He pat them on the back and then turned his gaze to Haley. As soon as his eyes met hers Haley felt her knees give out, only kept from hitting the ground by someone who quickly caught her.

"Whoa," the man who was able to get a hold on her spoke. He cast his eyes over the girl who seemed to now be shaking. "Are you sure you're ok?"

He lifted his gaze over to his wife and asked her with concerned eyes.

"Maybe we should call for an ambulance?" he wondered. "She hasn't said anything, maybe she hit her head?"

Dan approached the small group, not missing the look in the teen's eyes on the quake in her limbs as he got closer. She was afraid of him.

Good. She should be.

He slid into a concerned expression and came up to his daughter in law. Reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder, he wasn't at all surprised when the short girl twitched away from his touch.

"Haley, are you alright? That was close." He spoke, his voice skillfully sounding very much like a concerned father.

Her mouth hung open slightly as she looked up at him. Dan again reached out to her, this time putting heavy hands on both shoulders, effectively trapping her where she was.

His attention was drawn to one of the two at her side; the young man.

"She hasn't responded to any questions or anything yet." He informed him. "We think she might be hurt or in shock."

Dan nodded and replied with a slight shake of his head:

"She's my daughter-in-law, she's deaf." He stated before turning back to her as he spoke. "If she's not looking at you she's got no clue you're speaking."

Haley felt herself bristle at the statement that made her seem like she was some kind of mindless, helpless invalid. Before she was able to swallow her fear and say something, Dan was speaking again.

"What are you doing out alone? You could've been hurt." He knew he'd perfected his tone.

At this, Haley shoved down her fear and spoke in what she hoped was a steady voice.

"I was visiting a friend in the hospital."

Haley watched a quick look of recognition flash over his eyes and knew he understood what she was saying. He smiled his perfect white smile in return.

"I'm sure your visit was appreciated." he replied. "But I think it might be time to get home before your husband starts to worry."

"Are you sure she shouldn't get checked out first?" he was asked.

"No." he answered, looking the girl over. "Other than being shaken up, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong."

He lifted his hands from her shoulders and moved one to the small of her back.

"Let's go." He suggested caringly, but it didn't stop Haley from stepping away from the contact.

"I can get home on my own." She stated, not needing to guess that there was a tremor in her words.

"Nonsense," Dan dismissed, " after what just happened, there's no way I'm letting you out of my sight until I know you're right where you should be."

Just like he knew what she'd said, Haley felt a chilling double meaning in his seemingly innocent words. The hand was on her back once more and she felt it push her along. Before she knew it they were at his car and he was opening the door for her.

She stared at him with a cautious disbelief. He waited for her to make a move toward the seat. When she didn't, he slumped his shoulders and gestured into the car.

"Please get in."

She gave a sharp shake of her head.

"Haley."

"I'm not getting in. I'm not going anywhere with you, especially not alone."

He couldn't keep from letting out a chuckle, which angered the girl as she could clearly see how amused he was by her statement; as if her caution was unwarranted.

"First of all," he began, "if I had some evil plan against you, I wouldn't be executing it after half the town saw us walk off together."

He stepped up to her and spoke again.

"Most importantly," he spoke with utmost sincerity. "I don't _have_ any plans other than to help however I can. You're family, Haley. I want to help you. So let me."

She couldn't keep the disbelief in her from escaping with a scoff Crossing her arms in front of him she let him know flat out that she didn't buy it.

"No." she stated simply. "No you're playing some kind of game; I know it. I don't know how it plays out, but I know what the end result is."

"And what's that, hm?" he questioned. "You away from Nathan? Seems like if I wanted that, dropping the charges was a bad way of going about it, wasn't it? Or maybe I want you dead, is that it? Well, pretty stupid of me to keep you from getting run over just now, huh?"

Haley knew her surprise showed on her face as she read the last part.

Run over?

Then she realized she hadn't paused to take the time to wonder why she'd suddenly found herself yanked off her feet. Had she really been so distracted that she'd walked right out into the street?

"You…" she started, trailing off trying to think as she turned her head back in the direction they'd come from.

Dan seemed to have read her mind and elaborated to her the events that occurred.

"I don't know what you were thinking coming out alone and then not even paying attention to what's going on around you. You were right in the way of some asshole in a Lincoln." He explained making, Haley hold herself a little tighter. "Worse part is, he didn't even buy it from Dan Scott Motors."

The man cracked a small smile at the joke and Haley felt herself become grateful for the attempt at lightening the mood. It still was sinking in that she'd yet again been within a breath of death, and this time it was her own fault.

Her mind went to Nathan and the guilt settled like a boulder in her stomach. He was working so hard to take care of her and she'd almost made it all pointless; almost left him alone.

She ran a shaking hand across her brow, sweeping strands of hair away from her face nervously.

"I, um…" she started, or rather tried to start again. "Th-Thank you…for…thanks."

"Let me take you home." Dan offered once more, holding his arm out towards the car yet again.

Haley seemed to think about it a few moments. She even went so far as to take a hesitant step forward before she resolutely shook her head and stepped back again.

"No. No, I can't. I mean," she laid her palm against her forehead a moment, a brief sense of dizziness came and went quickly. "I know you helped me just now and I, I'm very grateful, but…"

"But you still don't trust me." He finished for her.

"How can I?" she asked. "You've never liked me. You promised to ruin my life."

Dan let out a huff of air and shook his head.

"_That's_ what you're hung up on?" he questioned her. "You still think I showed up magically in the middle of the night, in a prison, to torment you?"

Haley saw the defensive attitude in his stance. Did that mean he was guilty and trying to talk his way out of it, or that he was innocent and fighting off unjust accusations? She couldn't tell. Supposedly she'd get better at reading body language the more she came to rely on everything that wasn't her hearing. She really wished she could count on that right now, but reading into his physical appearance was impossible. She didn't want to focus too much on trying at the moment as a headache was already forming between her eyes. She shook her head, more to rattle away her racing thoughts than denying Dan's defense.

"I saw you there." She told him, not for the first time.

"Let think about this for a second. If you actually did see me there, if I _was_ there it means I somehow got passed dozens of officers and security cameras and locked doors-"

"Can-" Haley interrupted and cleared her throat self-consciously before continuing. "Can you slow down, please?"

She looked down at the sidewalk and took a breath to control her emotions as best she could and felt herself mumbling.

"It's hard to…I'm having trouble following. I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes at the familiar burning sensation in her eyes. She scrubbed a hand harshly over her cheek where one had escaped. She was so annoyed with how emotional she was anymore. So frustrated with crying at every hard reminder and so very angry at herself for feeling like a liar.

For every time she told Nathan or Lucas or someone that she was ok (and ok with _it_) she'd find herself wallowing more than once about it. She unintentionally let out a loud growl of that anger, forgetting that she had an audience and who that audience was.

A hand on her shoulder made her flinch and Haley was surprised to realize that not only was it Dan, but that it felt comforting. It wasn't like the hand she'd felt while he was guiding her away from the crowd of witnesses. It felt almost nice, almost genuine.

Haley gave a small smile of thanks which Dan returned and gave a nod.

"It's ok." He assured her, and Haley _did_ feel reassured.

It didn't help the plethora of thoughts and emotions that ran through her head concerning her father-in-law. He was dangerous. He was a bad man. He was helping her; was calming her down.

She was able to keep from physically shaking her head to, yet again, dispense her chaotic mind. Her head was beginning to really hurt. What time was it?

How long had she been out?

Not thinking about Dan or her near death experience, Haley reached a hand into her pocket and pulled out her phone to check the time. Her mouth went dry as she caught sight of the numbers. It was after four.

It was after four!

4:17 to be exact, and remembering her earlier counting, she was meant to take her next round of meds at four.

Haley couldn't keep from feeling her heart race in fear. Even though it wasn't terribly late, she couldn't help it. She'd been obsessively exact in keeping on schedule for a terrible fear of becoming ill again.

She didn't know what affect those lost minutes would have on her health, likely none, but her hands trembled with fear nonetheless.

Her fingers fumbled as they unzipped the inner pocket of her purse, not hearing Dan's question of 'What's wrong?' as she did so.

From his perspective, Dan witnessed with interest the actions of the girl before him. Raising an eyebrow, he watched her pull a small ouch out of her purse and remove two capsules from within it. Dan catalogued in his mind the hurried movements and slight tremble in her hands.

He filed all this away for later use and slipped back into character before she could focus on him again.

After dry swallowing the now familiar tasting antivirals, she returned her gaze to Dan's concerned one.

"Are you ok?" he asked her and she quickly nodded and swallowed against the lumped feeling left behind in her throat.

"I'll take that ride home if it's still available." She said, her voice slightly rasped.

Dan answered with a smile.

"Of course."

X

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X

"What does this mean?" Brooke asked nervously as she wrung her fingers sitting across the desk of her case handler.

"Well, you missed a scheduled meeting this afternoon and got pulled over going 20 over the speed limit when you should have been sitting right there. It's not good Miss Davis."

"B-But I _did_ show up for my appointment. I mean, I was here. I signed in and everything, you can check. I just…it was taking so long and something came up while I was waiting and I had to go." Brooke tried to explain.

"Something came up?" he repeated, not amused having heard the excuse more than once in his career that something extremely important had suddenly come up. "Were you harmed in some way? Did you suddenly find yourself requiring medical attention?"

"No, but-"

"Was someone dead or dying?"

"No-"

"Then what was it? Hmm?" he asked, flipping his pen onto the desk.

"My friend, she was, is maybe, in danger." Brooke stated, still unsure of what was going on with Haley at the moment.

"Maybe?" he asked. "What sort of _possible _danger?"

"I got a message from her while I was waiting that said she was going out." Brooke stated as if it explained everything.

"She went out?"

"Yeah." Brooke nodded.

"And what was wrong with your friend going out?" He questioned.

"Well, see, she was alone." Brooke went on to say. "I was supposed to be there with her and I was running late. I was supposed to be with her."

"Is your friend a danger to herself or others?" he asked, still trying to figure out exactly what he was being told by what was his youngest file at the moment.

"What? No!" Brooke replied offended. "Haley isn't dangerous. She just…we don't leave her alone for long. That's all."

"Why is that?"

"Because she…she just needs someone around, looking out for her."

"Is she special needs?"

"That's not it." She denied firmly, getting more riled up and offended on Haley's behalf.

"Then why?" he shrugged his shoulders.

"Because she's deaf, ok?" Brooke informed reluctantly.

"Ah, so she's dependent on others?" he asked, making a fist of his fingers under his chin.

Something about the way he said this didn't sit right with Brooke. Dependent? It made it sound like Haley was some kind of invalid.

"It's not like that." Brooke argued. "You make it sound like-like she can't take care of herself or something."

"Can't she?"

"Of course she can." She defended. "She's the smartest person I know."

"She just can't go outside on her own." He finished with a nod.

"Y-" Brooke began to answer but found her voice halted as she realized what happened in the conversation. A small "Oh" escaped her and the man gave her an understanding smile.

"It's alright, Brooke." He told her. "I understand. You want to protect your friend; you want to keep her safe and no one can fault you for that. But there's a definite line between protecting and overprotecting…smothering. You said she's smart, right?"

Brooke could only nod at this.

"Then I'm sure she's smart enough to know that you mean well. But even knowing that, she's human. She's going to get frustrated with the treatment she's receiving; she's going to step outside of the measures and limits you try to set. Find a way to ease up, alright?"

"Ok." She answered with another nod.

"Ok." He said again with a smile and then opened her file again. "Since this is the first time you've missed an appointment and I have the log in sheet that says you did, in fact, show up, I think we can look over this one."

"Really?" she asked surprised, really not expecting that. He nodded.

"Unfortunately there's nothing I can do for the speeding ticket. So take care of that and keep your nose clean, you understand?"

"Yes sir. I will. Yes sir." She agreed with earnest as she rose from her chair and rushed out of the office.

X

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X

Nathan returned home from work, exhausted from one of the busier days that week. He entered the apartment and immediately saw Brooke sitting on one end of the couch with Haley curled up using one of the girl's legs as a pillow.

"She sleeping?" he asked, setting his keys on the small table and rolling up his sleeves as he walked further into his apartment.

Brooke nodded, running a hand over the girl's wrapped head. After she'd finally managed to show up, Haley was already half asleep on the couch, worn out from whatever odd adventure she'd taken herself on that afternoon. Brooke was content to sit on the couch with her friend and relax while she slowly gave over to her exhaustion.

Nathan came to squat in front of the couch, getting down just about level with his wife's sleeping face. He took in her appearance and felt a half smile pull at his lips as the peaceful nature of her face. He cupped her cheek softly, not really wanting to disturb her but, as always wanting to see some sign from her. He stroked his thumb over her lips and was rewarded with an audible intake of breath that left her in a soft sigh before her eyelids began to open.

She saw Nathan's face in front of her and gave him a small smile before her eyes slid closed again. His smile faded and he looked up at Brooke.

"Something happen today?" he asked to which the brunette answered with a question.

"What do you mean?" she questioned, having not planned on telling him the events of the day.

"She's pretty tired." He mentioned and glanced at the clock. "It's 7. She's normally slept some during the day and up again around now."

Brooke bit her lip a bit and watched on as Nathan ran his hand up and down his sleeping wife's arm a few times before rising to his full height. He let out a sigh and ran a hand down his face.

"Thanks for coming over." He said to Brooke. " I know you had a full day. I appreciate it."

"No problem." She answered honestly as she carefully lifted her friend's head and slid out from under her, watching as Haley turned over to now face towards the back of the couch still sleeping.

Nathan walked Brooke to the door and held it open for her. She was in the doorway when she licked her lips and turned around to face him.

"Nathan," she started, "I was wondering, maybe we should think about…"

"Think about what?" he asked when she took too long to finish her thought.

"Maybe it's time we start to ease up a bit; not have people over and around her all the time." she finished her suggestion, unsure how he'd respond to it.

Nathan didn't want to shoot her down right away. He knew she meant well, but the thought of Haley being alone right now…if something should happen or go wrong…he couldn't bear it. So instead he told Brooke,

"Maybe."

Brooke could read it for what it was. He didn't want to talk about it right now; probably didn't even want to think about it. He was just a man who wanted to relax at home and spend time with his wife. She understood and decided to bring it up again at a later time.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Brooke." He waved her off and closed the door behind her after watching her make it to her car safely.

He locked the door and took off his outer shirt, letting the cool air hit his now sleeveless arms. He gently slid his arms beneath the body of his wife, noting happily that she was beginning to get back some of the weight she'd lost in the months she'd been sick.

Placing her on their bed, Nathan did his best to make sure she was as comfortable as possible, removing her scarf from around her head and the jeans she'd been wearing. He then decided that now was as good a time as any to give in to his own exhausting day and slid in behind her quickly falling asleep.

Haley woke up with a sharp gasp, Dan's words running through her head.

"_You still think I showed up magically in the middle of the night, in a prison, to torment you?"_

Middle of the night.

Dan said it was the middle of the night. Had she ever mentioned what time it was when she'd seen him there?

Turning to her side in the dark room, she saw Nathan's profile in the shadowed room. She didn't want to wake him, knowing how hard he was working himself, but she couldn't think of anything more important at the moment than figuring out if she was right.

"Nathan?" she said his name; reaching out to squeeze his shoulder when he didn't wake right away. "Nathan."

He stirred then, lifting his head a bit. She felt his chest vibrate, knowing he was saying something, probably asking what was wrong.

She reached off the edge of the bed and turned on the lamp, letting her eyes adjust to the sudden light in the formerly black room. She waited while Nathan blinked a few times before asking him what probably sounded like a spontaneous.

"Nathan, do you remember what I said when Dan was over here, about seeing him while I was in jail? About him coming to my cell?" she asked.

Nathan, rubbed his eyes and nodded once.

She licked her lips and then asked the important question.

"I know this is going to sound out of nowhere, but do you remember if I said when it was?"

"What?" he asked, not knowing why it was so important that she wake him up to ask him this.

"Did I say when it was? What time of day or anything?"

"I'm not sure." He answered. "I think you said it was at night, maybe."

"I did?"

"Pretty sure. Why?"

"Nothing." She said, turning around and reaching for the light and lying. "Just…strange dream; don't worry about it."

Nathan fell back asleep easily, not knowing that his wife remained awake for some time, pondering whether or not she could trust her own memory.

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**A/N: So it's almost 2 in the morning and I'm watching The Ruins while I type this. It's a pretty bloody part too. Just thought I'd let you know that fun fact.**

**Also, a fun story related fact, the idea for this big guy you've been reading here actually (oddly) came to me during a scene of Law & Order. **

**It's crazy the things that trigger an idea. Bet you'd never guess Falling Slowly came partly on the heels of a scene in an episode of Alias would you?**

**I'm weird like that.**

**Hope you keep enjoying!**


	41. Blue Skies

**A/N: Hate me? Sorry…a lot has happened lately. Among other things, I lost my job a few weeks ago but it's ok because I'm keeping a positive outlook on this. Something better is coming for me, I know it. You'd think being out of work would mean me having time to write like crazy; oddly that is not the reality of it. Anyway, there's the update on me, now the update on the people you actually care about.**

**X**

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"_But blue skies are calling_

_Oh yeah blue skies are calling_

_Oh blue skies are calling_

_But I know that it's hard"_

'_Blue Skies'_

-Noah and the Whale

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**X**

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Haley woke with a jolt.

Her arms held the pillow tightly against her body like a life line of some sort. Her chest was heaving and she felt her pajamas clinging to her sweat painted body. The girl rolled onto her back and ran a hand over her head, fisting the barely-there hair as much as she was able. She tried to get her breathing to regulate as she stared at the ceiling.

She grasped at the elusive strands of the nightmare.

What had it been?

The details disappeared by the second, but she clearly recalled the sounds. Her dreams often had sounds, well the memory of sounds anyway. But his wasn't like those. This wasn't playing music again or listening to her friends talk about whatever everyday topics of importance. Even while the events of the nightmare faded, she could clearly recall the shouting.

It had been awful and frightening. Shouts and screams of desperation and fear.

Her cheeks were wet with tears. A shaking sigh left her as she wiped her hands over them.

Haley jerked again when she felt the bed dip unexpectedly. Her eyes darted quickly to find her husband now sitting at her hip gazing at her with a soft concern in his eyes. She scrubbed her hands up and down her face again after seeing him ask her if she was ok.

"Fine." She answered with her face still covered. "Bad dreams, I guess."

Nathan let out a sigh. He knew that. He'd found himself worriedly watching over her as she tossed and turned and muttered in her sleep all through the night. The first time it woke him, he'd gently woken her and calmed her down. He wrapped his arms around her small figure and held her until she was once again sleeping.

But whatever demon decided to invade her dream that night was relentless.

He ran his hand through his hair. Placing a smile on his face for her, Nathan gave her thigh a squeeze before signing to her that he was going to make breakfast; technically early lunch he supposed. She smiled an agreement and informed him she would be taking a quick shower while he did so.

He heard the water kick on while in the kitchen and ran his hand over the back of his neck while his eyes glanced over to the calendar hanging on the near wall. Nathan couldn't recall a time in his life when he'd actually needed to use a calendar to know what the day looked like for him. Remembering practices and games and the occasional appointment had never been a problem.

But now the doctor's appointments and follow-ups and working at both Karen's and Tric and therapist check-ins…it overwhelmed him at times to think about it. Now he was dependent on the squared paper sections to keep it all in check. He looked over the color coordinated words and times (Haley's idea), and got a mental image of coming through the door two days ago.

He walked into their apartment to see his wife at the calendar, clearly writing something. He watched her then put her arm down to her side and step back to look at it before letting out a despondent sigh and running her hand through the chestnut locks of the wig she was still wearing.

When she turned around and saw him, she didn't look at all surprised though he had yet to let her know of his presence, he assumed it was because he'd text her to let her know he'd be home soon. She met his questioning gaze and gave him a sad smile and a shrug of her shoulders with a softly spoken "Sorry" before walking down the hall. Nathan had watched her until she disappeared behind the closed door of their bedroom. He then satisfied his curiosity and went to the hanging page to search for the cause of her apology.

He found it immediately.

On what was the one day without any commitments for either of them, the circled words that dubbed it _'Naley Day'_ were now crossed through with an unsteady line and under it were green letters that read _'Dr. Donovan – 9am'_.

The sound of the water shutting off brought him out of his memory. He turned back to the counter and leaned forward against it. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and focused on keeping himself from getting weighed down. As much as she tried to hide it, Haley couldn't keep from noticing when the shadows fell over her. She'd get quieter than she'd ever been since he'd met her; become withdrawn, almost depressed and try to brush it off if he asked about it.

So he was determined to keep a positive atmosphere. He hoped what he told her today would help.

"Hey, you." He greeted her as she came into view.

"Hi," she responded coming up to him to give him a peck on the lips and wrapped her arms around his stomach to hold herself close to his side. "Mm, grilled cheese."

He led her to the stool and pulled the plate towards her with a kiss on her head. Nathan furrowed his brow at the bit of warmth he felt on her skin. He gently touched the back of his hand to her forehead and immediately felt Haley push his arm away at the wrist.

"What are you doing?" her words muffled by the bite she'd just taken. Her husband moved across from the island counter to sign to her his concern.

"You feel warm?"

Haley just smirked as much as she could with a mouthful and replied.

"Yeah, I just took a hot shower." She answered. "I'm gonna be warm for a few minutes. It's nothing."

"You're sure?" he asked to which she smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"I'm sure," she reassured him. "I feel fine. Please don't worry."

He did as she wished and dismissed his concern as much as he was able, though it couldn't be shaken away completely, and tried to return his train of thought.

"I have some bad news." He began speaking and signing simultaneously. He was getting better at it. Haley put her sandwich down and swallowed fearfully. "I have to go to work soon and I haven't been able to get a hold of anyone yet."

Haley continued to look at him questioningly.

"So what do you think?" he asked, pressing his palms on the counter and leaning towards her.

"About what?"

"You think you'll be alright on your own today?" he questioned, leaning back and taking a sip of water to hide his grin as he watched her work through what she was reading from him.

"Really?" she asked in disbelief. "What's the catch? Promise to stay at home?"

"If you want," he shrugged, "I mean, you're an adult, you can do what you want, right?"

Now she smiled.

"I mean, unless you want me to try Karen or-"

"No, no." she protested, hurriedly rising from her seat and throwing herself at him.

He laughed as he caught her and lifted her up to sit on the counter in front of him.

"Thank you, thank you." She said; still hugging him and pressing a kiss hard on his lips before sitting back. "This is a good thing, Nathan. You'll see. It'll be fine."

She mentally shook her head of the sudden memory of her last adventure out on her own. Something she still hadn't shared with Nathan, or anyone. Brooke had asked her about it when she'd come over that day, but Haley gave her no answer.

Replacing the smile on her face once more, she focused again on Nathan and buried her fingers in his hair.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He replied, then put his hands on her shoulders to say more. "Please just keep your phone on you all the time, ok? An-And answer me, answer me right away. Please?"

She nodded and ran her hands through his hair affectionately, her lips to his once more. They pulled back slower this time, but remained close.

"I know you don't want me to worry, but you know I'm going to anyway," he watched her eyes as they watched his mouth. "Just, whatever you do…just be careful."

"I promise."

X

* * *

X

Lucas was putting away the clean dishes in the back when he heard the bell jingle above the front entrance. He thought nothing of it, knowing his mom was already up front to take care of whoever came in while he finished up back there.

Or at least that's what he thought for the first few minutes.

When he heard his mother's slightly raised voice demanding to know what someone was doing there, his protective nature came roaring up. He put down the plates and went out the swinging doors to his mother's defense. His ruffled feathers flared even more and he approached his biological father.

Immediately inserting himself before his mother, making her disappear behind his greater height, Lucas set his jaw and spoke.

"Get out," he demanded simply, earning a disbelieving smile from the man in front of him.

"I'm not here to cause t-"

"Now." Lucas interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I was j-"

"We have the right to refuse service," Lucas cut him off yet again, narrowing his eyes. "This is us exercising that right."

"Lucas," he heard his mother's gentle voice, clearly wishing to calm him down. He kept his eyes on Dan while his mother spoke. "It's alright."

She stood at his side and put a hand on his chest.

"Dan came by to see Nathan," she turned her eyes to the man she once thought she loved a lifetime ago. "Who isn't here. So he's going to leave, right?"

Dan nodded at her looking perfectly contrite.

"Tell him I stopped by?" he requested of Karen before turning to the exit.

He was barely two steps towards the door when he heard Lucas speak up.

"What do you want with Nathan, _now_?" Lucas questioned.

Before turning to face his first born, Dan gave himself a moment to smirk. Predictable.

Perfectly predictable; Lucas Scott he eternal guard dog and perpetual protector against all things Dan Scott. Making a show of glancing at his shoes and putting his hands in his jacket pockets, Dan half turned.

"Nothing, I just…"pausing as if debating whether or not to divulge an unflattering confession. "He hasn't been answering my calls."

"You're surprised?" Lucas scoffed. "You know…besides the fact that you destroy any life you touch, he has plenty going on right now that's a hell of a lot more important that Dear Old Dad's phone call."

"I know, I know." He quietly agreed. "I've just been worrying. I know this has all been taxing for both of them and I don't to cause any undue stress."

"Yeah, right." Lucas let out a half chuckle of disbelief.

"Believe what you want," he spoke with just the right amount of defensive tone. "I don't care I only want to see how Haley's doing."

Lucas now pinned him with a sharp glare.

"You know exactly how she's doing," he accused. "Nathan told me you've given yourself a personal free pass to all her doctor's information. You know everything they've said about her condition since she was first admitted. Don't pretend."

"I'm aware I overstepped my boundaries, but I won't apologize for wanting to know how my family's doing." He defended perfectly before using the knowing shot. "Besides, I'm not talking about what some doctor says, I'm talking about how she's been day to day; especially since I saw her last-"

"What?" Lucas cut in harshly and Dan had to keep from all out smiling. Bull's-eye. "You saw Haley? When?"

"She didn't tell you?" he asked feigning surprise and then a guilty, apologetic shake of his head. "I don't want to cause trouble. I assumed she would've said something."

Again, predictable. It wasn't fair how easy they all made it. Of course she wouldn't mention it.

"Forget it." Dan pretended to try to leave, knowing exactly what would happen next.

"Wait." Lucas commanded, grabbing the man's shoulder to prevent his departure. "When did you see her? What did you say to her?"

"I understand you're concern for your friend, but if she hasn't told you then she doesn't want you to know. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Well, too late; you did." Lucas almost growled. "Now tell me what happened."

X

* * *

X

Haley sat on the picnic table, the rough weather-worn wood feeling comfortably familiar beneath her as she looked out at the water. She closed her eyes, feeling the breeze coming in off the Cape. Letting out a content sigh, Haley tilted her head back, exposing more of herself to the warm sun and allowed the moment to overtake her completely.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd come here or the last time she'd been outside just to…be outside.

It made it easy to forget her problems anyway. She couldn't ignore the absence of the melody of waves lapping nearby. But she was able for a short time to forget about doctors and appointments and Dan.

_Ugh_. Dan.

Until a few days ago, thinking of him brought up an unclear memory of seeing him outside her cell. Now, his name crossed her mind and the first image was standing on the sidewalk 'listening' to him tell her he'd never been to the prison.

Dan saved her life.

She shook her head. She owed her life to Dan Scott. Dan Scott saved her and then had her questioning her mind.

It didn't make sense for him to save her if he hated her that much, right?

Maybe he really accepted that she hadn't meant to do it. She shot him, but she didn't mean to. The doctors said it wasn't her fault; not really. The tumor that had apparently been growing in her, feeding off of her for months, they said it was the cause.

She knew Dan would never forgive her for any act against him. But maybe having it explained away medically, genuinely, he understood?

He had helped out with the bills despite Nathan's protests. Nathan had told his father he didn't want it but Dan had taken it on himself to pay. Allowing his son to keep his pride, he only paid about half. That's what she'd been told anyway.

Maybe he wasn't the villain anymore; her villain anyway. Then again…

Shaking her head again, Haley evicted all the disturbing thoughts and lay back on the table, closing her eyes in search of that previous peace she'd just had.

The table beneath her vibrated twice causing Haley to open her eyes, immediately smiling at the faces leaning over her.

Skillz and Mouth looked down at her against the blue sky background.

"Haley James Scott." She read on Skillz grinning lips.

They both offered her a hand each which she happily accepted, using both of them to hop down off the table. Her smile grew when she saw Junk and Fergie also standing near, a basketball tucked comfortably under Junk's arm.

The two goofs gave her their silly yet genuine smiles and waved enthusiastically. She waved back and replied with a "Hi guys."

Skillz draped his arm around her shoulders, giving her an affectionate squeeze. She hadn't seen the guys in too long. She was told they'd all been by at some point during her hospital stay, but she didn't really remember it. She had no idea what was going on in their lives at this point.

"How are you guys doing?" she asked generally.

She saw Junk answer, the pattern his lips took as he spoke quickly were a bit difficult for her to follow since she hadn't spent much time with him. She thought he said something about…Canada? Was that right?

Had he gone to Canada? That seemed out of nowhere.

She saw Fergie give his speaking friend a sudden smack on the arm. Junk turned toward him, clearly offended, and from the sudden tension in his neck, seemed to be yelling at him.

They yelled back and forth, looking comedic to Haley as she watched the display happen without the accompanying sounds. At the point when she saw Fergie gesture pointing a finger towards his ear and waving in her direction she got a pretty good handle what they were arguing about.

She saw Mouth approach them; his body language seemed to say he was trying to diffuse the situation. Of course, Haley knew that once those two got going it wasn't easy to get either of them to shut up and drop it. Knowing she was, however indirectly, the reason behind this specific exchange, Haley mentally searched for a way to end it.

Her opportunity came when Junk got annoyed enough to shove the basketball outward, throwing it in a chest pass motion to hit Fergie. The ball knocked into the other boy's shoulder before bouncing awkwardly in her direction.

She felt Skillz chest vibrate behind her as he, she assumed, put in his two cents to the group. Haley grabbed the faded orange ball and gave it a few experimental bounces. After a moment of looking around, Haley made her own awkward attempt and dribbling up to the basket and tossing the ball up.

She was surprised when the less than impressive shot actually went in. Haley let out a holler and threw her hands up in victory. When she turned around Haley was pleased to see she had an audience. The argument forgotten, the boys now had their attention on Haley.

"Something wrong with my eyes?" Skillz asked, "'Cause I think I just Haley James make a basket."

"Impossible." Fergie laughed, leaving it open for Junk to pick up where he left off.

"Yeah, she didn't even granny it."

"You saw it here first," Mouth added in sportscaster mode.

Haley didn't know exactly what was said, but was able to read from their faces and body language that they were playing with her; teasing her like they would have any other time. It lifted a weight that was hanging over the guys and felt amazingly familiar.

Skillz came up to her and gestured between him and her then pointed two fingers towards Junk and Fergie and then held the basketball up between him and Haley. She grinned at the offer and accepted with a nod.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and took a moment to take it out, knowing if it were Nathan she should respond right away as promised.

'_How's it going?'_

She typed back informing him of where she was and who was there. The response came quickly.

'_Be careful. Have fun. I love you.'_

After sending her love back, Haley put the phone back in her pocket and saw that the guys were readying for the start of their game.

"Ready for this Haley James?" Skillz asked her, looking directly at her as he spoke.

"You're going down." She said to the other team while Mouth took his usual seat to watch and narrate.

There was a slight rockiness in the beginning as they did their best to figure out a system to playing with her. It turned out to be simple enough, she just made sure to keep her eyes on Skillz and follow his lead. He displayed a great talent in sending instructions subtly. Occasionally there was an obvious gesture, but for the most part she found herself picking up slight tilts of the head or movements of his eyes and obeyed. She was sure Junk was taking it easy on her but Haley really didn't mind that so much since she knew he did that whenever she played paired up against him. Even at complete health Haley was definitely not a strong player. She made a few decent shots and celebrated as if she'd hit the game winner every time; the guys happily indulging her.

It was a great afternoon.

She wasn't sure how long they played with her and Skillz winning the first game, and Fergie and Junk taking the second, but the sun had lowered significantly since they'd started, and she'd needed a quick pause to take her medication. Haley had been certain to take a moment whenever she'd get a message from Nathan to assure her she was still alright and proudly told him how she was playing.

They were in the middle of their third game, Haley and Junk had just moved under the basket while Skillz and Fergie maneuvered with each other like dancers when she started feeling the exertion of the physical activity. Her arms were beginning to feel heavier and her legs weren't moving quite as fast as before. She felt the sweat clinging to her clothes to her body and her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Junk noticed something was off and stepped in the way catching the ball Skillz just tossed towards his teammate and telling them to hold up. He turned his attention to the girl who now had her hands on her hips as she took large panting breaths.

"Hales you ok?" he asked as he put a hand on her back, feeling the heaving breaths she was taking.

She stood up straight and waved her hand at him, telling him between breaths that she was fine as the other two came over to her as well.

"Just need to…sit for a minute." She dismissed, taking herself over and sitting next to Mouth who, along with the others, were looking at her with concern on their faces. "I'm fine, guys…keep playing…Go ahead."

They continued to watch and she looked at Skillz, hoping he could read in her eyes that she really needed them not to pay attention to her right now. He seemed to catch on and started dribbling again.

"I got this, two on one. Let's go." He goaded. "Even on my own I can smoke the both of you."

Haley was happy to see them take their focus off of her as she tried to get her breathing under control and allow her body to compose itself. She took a large gulp from her water bottle, noticing when she brought it back that Mouth was still looking at her.

"It's ok." She put on a shaky smile; her whole body felt uneasy.

"Are you sure?" he questioned, looking down at her hands.

Haley followed his gaze and her eyebrows rose as she saw the plastic bottle bending – she knew if she could, she would be hearing the crackling sound of the plastic giving – in between the tight grip of her hands.

She removed her right hand from it and held it out to look at it. Mouth put his hand on her shoulder and she spoke without taking her eyes off her hand. Her mind flashed back to trying to hold, well, anything and the uncontrollable shaking making it almost impossible.

"I'm fine." She answered eyes still on the hand as if waiting for it to start shaking right this moment. She finally blinked and cleared her throat, putting her hand down. She looked at Mouth a moment and then looked down; closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead.

Now that she thought about it, she was feeling a little light headed.

Mouth became increasingly worried as he noticed her behavior.

"Maybe we should get you home." He suggested, though he knew she wasn't looking at him and had no idea what he was saying.

He started rubbing her back hoping to offer some form of comfort and glanced over to the court.

"Hey guys?" he called as Haley hunched over to lean her elbows on her knees, while keeping her eyes closed and waiting for the dizziness to pass. They stopped playing and looked over at their friend. "I think we should get her home."

They all came to where they were seated each of them found a spot to lie a careful, supportive hand somewhere on her back or shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw the three of them talking amongst themselves, not knowing they were discussing whether or not to get her to her apartment or take her to a doctor.

"M'fine." She mumbled; her words running together.

Skillz put his knuckle under her chin, encouraging her to look up at him.

"We gonna take you home, Haley, ok?"

She nodded, knowing she should lie down; it was foolish to do so much before she was clearly ready for it. At least she hoped that was what was setting this off.

"Ok," she agreed with a slight nod that made the dizziness a bit worse.

Skillz tossed his car key towards Fergie, silently sending the message that Skillz wouldn't be driving; he preferred to sit with his friend to make certain she was alright. He and Mouth each took a supporting hold on her arms and slowly began walking with her while the other two went to start the car and bring it closer to ease the small journey.

Haley wanted to tell them she didn't need their help to walk, but realized how tired she felt and thought maybe it was for the best. Her pocket buzzed and it took a moment to figure out what it was.

"I hafta textn Nthan." She slurred and then her brow furrowed. That didn't sound right.

"What?" Skillz asked and looked to Mouth. "What she say?"

"I think she's saying-Whoa!"

His statement was cut off when the girl's legs seemed to vanish from beneath her. Haley went down and it was unexpected enough that the guys helping her almost lost their hold, with Mouth very nearly tipping over along with her.

"I got ya, girl." Skillz assured, readjusting his hold to get his arms under her and pick her up. It wasn't until she was up in his arms that the both of them noticed she hadn't fallen or tripped.

"Hales?" Skillz spoke, not thinking about the fact that she wouldn't be able to hear as panic began to make itself known. He gave her a slight jostle, hoping to get a reaction. "Haley. Yo, she's out!"

His words had Mouth coming up beside him and moved her hair out of her way.

"You're right." Mouth said with shock and worry on his features. She was unconscious. "Come on, we've gotta get her to the hospital."

**X**

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**A/N: Questions? Comments? Thoughts? Concerns?**

**I know it was long and kind of cliffy, but things are picking up again and Dan Scott's ...Dan-ness is about to come to fruition in a big way.**


	42. Can't Stop Now

**A/N: Hey everyone! Remember me? Remember this? Hope so. I've had quite the months. Lost my job, went through a break-up, all the while still searching for whatever future I'm supposed to have. Anyone else out there feel like you worked your ass off for something you're not even sure is what you want anymore? Ugh… oh well…in the meantime, I have you lovely people and you don't know how much it means to me to have this outlet. Thank you. **

**X**

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**X**

"_We can't stop now_

_We've come too far_

_There's a light up ahead_

_But it's not where we are."_

'_Can't Stop Now'_

-Tyler Hilton

**X**

* * *

**X**

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Nate, we was ju-" Skillz didn't get to finish his attempt to explain. Nathan took a swing at him and Skillz barely dodged back in time to be missed.

"Hey, easy!" Junk announced surprised at the near attack. "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Nathan asked angrily looking at all four of the people he thought he could trust. "She was alone with you for a couple hours and she ends up in the God damn hospital!"

"Hey it's not like anything strange was happening." Mouth began. "Nathan she was fine. She was having fun. When she got tired she sat down."

"You shouldn't have let her run around so much, overdoing it like that." Nathan argued, still finding a way to fault the group in front of him.

"Yo, Haley's a big girl." Skillz restated angrily, " She wanted to play. She wanted to have some fun for a little while without someone her of the crap that done happened to her these past months."

Nathan grabbed his collar and shoved the man against the wall.

"What are you trying to say?" He asked with a clenched jaw. Nathan felt rage at the implication that he, in any way, ever made Haley feel bad about what she'd been through.

Skillz pushed him off of him and immediately got on the offensive.

"How about this right here?" He asked with a harsh tone, his voice getting louder. "Talking about us letting Haley do something; man, Nate, you talking like she your kid, not your wife."

"You don't know what you're talking-"

"Nathan." The boys gave their attention to the doctor Nathan had become friendly with throughout the course of Haley's treatment.

Nathan walked away from his friends and joined him. "What's going on? Is she ok?"

"She's fine." He replied, first and foremost. "A little dehydrated and overworked, but it's nothing serious."

Nathan let out a breath of relief and ran a hand through his hair. When Mouth had called him at work to come to the hospital, he'd immediately thought the worst. In his mind it was happening again; the seizures, the lapses, the horrible fear of it all.

"So she's, she's alright. Really?" Nathan questioned for absolute clarification.

"She'll be just fine. We'll keep her for a few hours to be sure, run the tests I'm sure you're both used to by now to double and triple check that that's all it is. " He told Nathan all this as they walked towards the curtained area where his wife was waiting. "Everything comes out smoothly, you can take her home tonight."

Nathan shook his hand and offered him his thanks before the doctor excused himself to his other duties.

"Nathan, we-"

Mouth tried to speak more to his friend and stopped when he realized Nathan had no intention of hanging around to listen. The stressed man was already leaving them behind without a second thought.

Nathan had his fists clenched. He was mad; furious really. He wanted to believe he was mad at the guys for not keeping a better eye on her. However, the truth was he was mad at himself and, he hated to admit, he was pissed at Haley. She had to have known she was pushing herself too much. She had to have felt some kind of warning sign.

He was swirling these thoughts in his head as he came to her curtain. He slid it aside and then back again with more force than necessary to give them some privacy. He ran his hand down his face, taking a deep breath to control himself before turning to face her.

For a few moments, they only looked at each other. Nathan's angry eyes and hers that looked…annoyed. When Nathan said nothing for a few moments more, Haley let out a sigh and spoke.

"Are you going to yell at me or pretend nothing happened?" Even without the tone, Nathan would've easily been able to tell she was upset. The giveaway was that her voice was a bit too loud when she spoke. It betrayed her whenever she tried to hide her upset or anger. She had a tell, and she didn't even know.

He sighed and put his hands on his hips looking at the floor a moment, pressing his tongue to his cheek. After a moment he took a few steps and dropped gracelessly into the chair and leaned back.

"I haven't decided." He told her honestly as he knotted his fingers together, the shine of his wedding ring catching his eye.

She fell back against the raised mattress, a heavy sigh escaping her. Her eyes glanced around the room and she shook her head.

"I hate being here." She thought out loud. "I hate the beds and the smells and these stupid thin blankets that can't possibly keep anyone warm."

Nathan's hands dropped onto his thighs, the action getting her attention from the corner of her eye.

"You're mad, Nathan." Stating the obvious. "Will you just say what you're thinking so-"

"You want to know what I'm thinking?" He interrupted her sitting up straight on the edge of the chair. Haley's eyes were focused on his lips. "I'm wondering how someone so smart can be so stupid."

Haley's eyes squinted with uncertainty. She had to have read that wrong.

"Did you just call me stupid?" But Nathan went on without pause.

"You hate being here, and I hate seeing you here. Well this was avoidable, Haley. All you had to do-" His words caught in his throat and he rose to his feet, turning away from her and grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugged it to let out some of his anger. He spun back around, bursting out. "All you had to do was think! Just pay attention to what was going on with you. You're not coming back from a broken bone or something Haley, you had a freaking brain tumor. Jesus, your skull was cut open!"

At this her hand automatically went to the scarred area on her skull. She felt he uneven skin where the new hair wasn't growing. Nathan came to her and grabbed that same hand tightly. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he put a hand around the back of her head. He clenched his teeth together as if he could clamp a lid on his emotions. But it was fruitless.

"I…" He had to pause, tears stinging his eyes. "I can't keep dancing on the edge of losing you, Hales."

He shook his head and pressed his lips together a moment.

"I can't. I'm not strong enough."

Haley put her hands on either side of face and pulled him close. Their foreheads were touching and she watched a tear slide down his face as he scrunched his eyes shut. He forced a whisper.

"I'm not."

She closed her eyes as well, feeling his breath on her face. Her hands locked behind his head, buried his growing locks, a brief thought that he could use a haircut came to her just as she spoke.

"I'm sorry." She kept her voice soft for fear that it would crack if she tried to speak any louder; for all she knew it already was anyway. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I was at the RiverCourt playing and it all felt so…normal. I did know something was off; I knew I was pushing too hard before I decided to actually sit down. I should've stepped back long before I did and just gone home but I didn't."

She paused a moment for a steadying breath. Her own tears trying to slip down from her eyes.

"I didn't. I just wanted to keep it; keep feeling like I was just a girl with her friends." Her voice fell to a whisper and she repeated over and over. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She pressed herself close against him and Nathan held her.

X

* * *

X

Nathan was heading out to get Haley's release forms taken care of when he saw his dad.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked right away sounding more tired than angry.

"I heard Haley was brought in."

"You heard?" Nathan asked skeptically.

"Yeah, Nathan. I'm the mayor of this town, if my daughter-in-law is brought into the emergency room I'm going to hear about it." Dan defended. "What happened? Is it the tumor again? Some kind of reoccurrence?"

"No, Dad, stop." He held up one hand, using the other to pinch the bridge of his nose. "It wasn't anything like that. She just overexerted herself a little. She just needs to pace herself a bit more and…and why am I telling you this?"

He moved to step around him, but quickly discovered it wouldn't be that easy to get rid of him. Dan followed.

"How is she?"

"Go home, Dad."

"Nathan, I'm concerned for her. I don't know how many more times I can tell you before you believe me."

"How many times do I have to tell you to get lost?" He asked. " It's probably the same number."

He stopped at the desk and leaned against it speaking to the woman behind it.

"I'm supposed to fill out release forms for my wife, Haley Scott."

"Just a moment."

"Thank you." He turned to lean his back against the counter and let out a sigh.

Dan watched his son cover his face with his hand. The stress and exhaustion of the situation was written all over him. He wanted to take that away for him. He loved his son; he had no grudge held against him. Nathan's only crimes were a stubborn loyalty to the poisonous Siren, Haley James.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." He answered immediately.

"Nathan-"

"I said I'm fine!" Nathan cut him off sharply, accepting the clipboard with another 'thanks.'

He began filling it out accordingly, something else he was too used to these days, as he felt Dan step closer and lower his voice to speak just for his ears.

"Nathan, you don't have to like me right now, I can't change that, but right now you need to listen to me." He spoke quietly, yet not lacking force in his words. "I know you want to be strong for your wife and that's admirable, but you aren't superman. You can't continue to shoulder all of this, one thing after another, after another, after another. You have to take care of yourself. You have to think about yourself as much as you do Haley."

"What does that mean? Huh?" Nathan asked aggressively with a shrug. "Just don't worry about her; don't care? Hey, maybe I should focus on my game, right, Dad?"

"Of course not." Dan said because he had to.

Really he'd love nothing more than to see Nathan forget about Haley and get back into basketball.

"I just want to know you're taking care of yourself."

"I'm fine." He stated again, ready to be done with this. Sure he was bone tired, but he didn't care. All that mattered was Haley, and he sure as hell was going to make sure his father knew that. "I'm great. Things aren't perfect, but they get better every day. I wouldn't change a thing. So don't worry about me."

Nathan signed his name one last time and handed the clipboard over before turning to leave.

"You sure about that?" Dan asked Nathan's back as his son began to walk away from him. He put his hands in his pockets, making no move to follow. "Not a thing?"

Nathan's steps paused a moment and his voice lowered, knowing what his dad was getting at.

"Don't."

"Just answer me honestly." He answered. "You're telling me you don't want her hearing back?"

Nathan didn't hesitate, stepping back to his father. He grabbed his jacket and held it threateningly tight, his knuckles whitening from the tension.

"I said…" he ground out between his clenched teeth. "…don't."

He shoved him away but his father only stepped up to him again to finish speaking.

"Nathan listen to me." He pleaded. "What I'm talking about is called a cochlear implant. It's an electronic device-"

"Uses electrodes to stimulate the auditory nerve to the brain. It consists of both external and internal implants." He watched his father's face display his surprise, obviously not expecting Nathan to know anything about this. "You think I didn't do my homework, Dad? You think I didn't look up every single article and option and read them over and over until it was burned into my brain?"

Nathan ran a hand down his face and shook his head.

"That's why I know it isn't an option right now."

"That's what I want to tell you, son." Dan announced with what almost seemed like happiness. "It is an option. I'll cover the cost." He continued even as Nathan began shaking his head. " Let me do this. I want to do this for you; both of you. Even if you don't believe my intentions, even if you're sure there's another shoe waiting to drop, even then…wouldn't it be worth it? To give this to Haley?"

Nathan was losing the battle with the overwhelming events that the day had brought on him. He sniffed and shook his head again.

"You think I don't want that for her? Of course I do. But you don't get it, it's not an option right now." He repeated, swallowing as he felt the emotions swelling at the back of his throat. "I spoke to the doctor as soon as I read about it. The, uh, the traumas her body's been through with the tumor and seizures and…and the surgery, "he cleared his throat, " It wouldn't be safe to try right now. Not for a while."

Dan nodded in understanding, reaching out and placing his hand on his son's shoulder.

"When the time comes…" He let the offer hang in the air unfinished.

Nathan blinked back tears that burned his eyes. He wanted Haley to be happy. He'd do anything for her. Admitting to himself he'd willingly accept a deal with the devil at face value. He covered the hand on his shoulder with his own, grateful for what his father was offering.

"When the time comes…" he took a breath and forced out the next words. "Thank you."

Dan saw the vulnerability in his son; his carefully constructed walls were being pounded on by the constant burdens that came with being anchored to a sick spouse. He knew his chance would come if he was patient. He took advantage of the moment and pulled his son against him for a hug. It was a few tense heartbeats before he felt his son let out a hard sob and his hands lifted to hold onto him. As if nothing changed, and he was just a boy leaning on his father.

After a moment, Dan spoke, glad that Nathan was unable to see the smirk on his face over his shoulder.

"I've got you son." He told him. "I'm here for you; anything you need, just ask. I'm here for you."

Nathan didn't sob anymore, but his tears continued to stream as he let go of all that built up that day.

After a moment, he took a breath and stood up straight, wiping a hand over his face, feeling stupid and ashamed for his behavior. Clearing his throat, he looked at the floor and spoke in a hoarse voice.

"Actually, there is something you could do for me."

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	43. We Are The Tide

**A/N: Howdy ho everyone! Still here? Hope so!**

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"_War is in our hearts_

_And blood is in the land we love_

_We keep breaking our backs_

_Hoping that it gives enough'_

'_We Are The Tide'_

-Blind Pilot

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He turned off the engine as he parked the car. Glancing to the passenger seat where he'd put the bag of fresh clothes Nathan had asked him to get from the apartment for him. Dan grinned to himself. It was an easy enough little errand; done quickly enough that the man decided to reward himself with a little stop on the way back to the hospital.

He exited his car and walked through the glass door and removed his sunglasses. A small bell rang overhead and he was automatically greeted by the middle aged man at the counter.

"Mr. Mayor, " he spoke in a friendly tone, "how are you?"

"Better and better every day." He answered happily as he casually crossed to the counter.

"And, uh," he scratched his chin self-consciously," everyone else? Your boy and his wife?"

Dan's eyebrow rose and the man nervously elaborated.

"I don't mean to pry into personal business, it's just, the media, you know how they like to muck up truths. I was just hoping to hear things were looking up for the kids."

Dan let him hang a moment before replying, "Trust me, things are most certainly looking up."

The man smiled at the statement and set his hands on the counter in front of him.

"Well, happy to hear that." He nodded, "What brings you in here today, sir?"

Dan reached into his pocket and withdrew the small object his son had handed to him before he sent him on his little mission and dropped onto the counter with a small jingle as it bounced once. The man glanced down at the metallic key.

Dan smirked and responded, "I need a copy made."

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A few days after her latest scare with the hospital, Haley was sitting on the living room couch, her eyes looking over the sheet of equations before her. Her eyes easily roamed from one to the other, her analytical mind working them quickly. She scratched her forehead and double checked her mental calculations before saying out loud in a matter of fact tone:

"Number four is wrong," and held the paper out to her friend. At the statement, Brooke's face fell.

"Damn." She groaned and accepted it. "I was sure I actually understood it this time."

She set the page down on the table and looked over at Peyton who was working on her own homework.

"What did you get for number four?"

"H2O2." The blonde answered without looking up from her page. "I'm doing chemistry, Brooke."

"Oh, right."

Haley chuckled and reached into her pocket as she felt her phone vibrate. Dismissing the reminder alarm, Haley excused herself to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out one of the three orange prescription bottles. Removing the cap, she tilted the bottle into her palm. She grabbed the glass on the sink and filled it halfway with tap water.

As she lifted the capsule to put into her mouth but paused for a moment. She looked at the pill for some reason she wasn't entirely sure of, since it looked the same as it always had. Maybe her count was off; she looked down into bottle and counted the amount of capsules. No her count was fine.

She was inspecting the pill in her hand, looking for something off about it, when Peyton appeared in the doorway with an exasperated look on her face.

"Brooke's going insane over this number four catastrophe." She read on Peyton's lips. "Almost done?"

"Yeah," Haley replied, passing the pill past her lips and sipping enough water to swallow it easily, "I'm coming."

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"Nathan."

The raven haired teen looked up from the floor he was sweeping and found his slightly older brother entering the empty club.

"Man you are the hardest guy to get a hold of lately." Lucas commented as he approached him. "You do realize I've been trying to talk to you for more than five minutes at a time for days, now?"

"I've been busy." Nathan answered and continued to do his work until Lucas stood in front of him, blocking his attempt to keep going.

"I need to talk to you." He reinforced, "It's important?."

Nathan sighed and held the broomstick upright and looked at his brother full on.

"Ok, what?" He asked with a shrug. "What's so important? Cause unless it's about Haley-"

"It is." Lucas firmly interrupted. "It's about Haley."

"What happened?" Nathan asked right away. His mind was already whirring with scenarios.

"A few days ago, I ran into Dan." He began telling the story of his exchange with Dan at the café. "He was talking about Haley-"

Nathan rubbed his fingers on his forehead, feeling the mountain of stress that always lived there.

"Lucas, I already talked with him about Haley, Ok?"

"You did?" Lucas asked surprised, Nathan didn't seem annoyed or irritated at the mention of his father. That was unusual.

"Yeah." He tried to talk to me about getting Haley that implant. He offered to pay for it." Nathan recounted.

This news surprised Lucas. Did Dan actually want to help Haley? He found that difficult to believe. Dan was never a fan of hers or her relationship with Nathan. But if he really was desperate to have a relationship with Nathan back in his life, or at least under his thumb again, helping Haley would definitely be the way to do it.

"What did you say? He question, hoping to gage how Nathan was accepting or rejecting the man's attempts. Was he as suspicious as Lucas was?

"Thanks but no thanks." Nathan summarized, "I mean, Haley can't get it right now, it'd be too dangerous."

That didn't answer Lucas' unspoken question at all.

"But," he ventured, "If she could, would you take his offer?"

"Well yeah," he shrugged. "of course I would. No way I could afford that. We're stretching every penny as much as possible as it is right now.."

"Even if it meant being in debt to Dan?" Lucas asked crossing his arms. "I mean, come on Nathan, you know what he's like."

Nathan's eyes narrowed at his brother a bit as he felt himself being judged by him.

"More than anyone." He replied.

"Then you know you can't accept anything from him without-"

"Here's what I know, Lucas," Nathan cut in quickly, "I know you have no idea what it's like to see your wife suffering and knowing you can't do anything to help. The person you swore to protect from everything. You don't know what it's like to realize something's been taken from her and watch her struggle every day without it. And you sure as hell don't know what it's like to hear her cry in her sleep because during the day she's trying to be strong to protect _your_ feelings. You don't know what any of it is like, Lucas, you don't have a clue what we're going through."

He was in his brother's face now and could see the criticism in his blue eyes wither as the weight of what Nathan was saying really hit him.

"Until you're there, you have no right to talk to me about choosing to get help for however it comes. If Dan's money can help Haley, if he can give her back what she's lost, then hell yes I'll accept and damn the consequences. As long as she's happy, I'd shake hands with Satan to keep her that way. Got it?"

Lucas took a step back, looking thoroughly put in place. He hadn't expected such a reaction, but after receiving it, Lucas felt …shamed. Of course, Nathan would do whatever he needed to for Haley. Lucas should have that mindset as well, but he just couldn't help himself. His alarms always went off where Dan Scott was concerned.

"Look I'm sorry, man, you're right. I didn't mean to upset you. I know you'd do anything for Haley. I just worry, you know. I'll never trust him; not really."

Nathan shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that. " he gave the broomstick a small shove and let if fall to the ground with a clatter.

He growled and turned away from Lucas, fisting his hand in his hair.

"Man, I wish…I wish there was a way to just-just pause this. Just to take a break from all of this. No doctors or tumors or pills or any of it. Just us, all of us, like it used to be; like it _should_ be."

Lucas couldn't agree more. He put his hand on his shoulder.

"We can't pause it," he said in all seriousness, "but maybe we can get a break from it all."

"What are you talking about?" Nathan questioned; almost laughing at the absurd suggestion.

"I'm serious." Lucas replied. "Just for a night, we take a break from all of it. You, me, Haley, Brooke, Peyton…everybody. We take a night, tonight, and have a completely worry free, good time. It'll be just like before all of this happened. What do you think?"

"I say it sounds great but pretty impossible." Nathan replied and bent down to pick up the broom again. " There's a pretty big flaw in your brilliant plan there Lucas."

He turned the broom over so the whiskers were up and tapped the wooden handle against his ankle. The sound of the broomstick hitting heavy plastic was a sharp reminder.

"Can't really go just anywhere can I?"

Lucas thought a moment then grinned.

"Not a problem."

At that, Nathan let out a cynical chuckle. "Oh really?"

"Really."

An hour later Nathan was done with his shift and went home to their apartment. He thought about Lucas' idea, in theory it sounded great. But that was in theory, in actuality, who knew?"

Opening the door to the apartment, Nathan was surprised to find the lights down and his wife asleep on the couch. He knew the girls were coming over that afternoon, he just assumed they'd still be around when he got home.

He hung his keys on the hook by the door and quietly walked around the couch. Lowering himself in front of the cushions , he tilted his head to the side and ran his eyes over the girl's sleeping form. Even with the weight she'd yet to gain back from her sickness, the hair that hadn't nearly returned to its original length, and the scar still visible among the bald spot, she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever set his eyes on.

Cupping his hand softly around her cheek, Nathan gently ran his thumb over her lips. A few moments of this and Haley's brow twitched as she begun to come around. He waited patiently missing the days where he could coax her from sleep with soft spoken words.

Her eyes opened and Nathan saw a sleepy smile come to her face when they fell upon him. She stretched her arms over her head with a little squeal that always amused her husband before letting her arms flop back down.

"Hey."

He smiled in return.

"Are you home early?" She asked, lifting her head to glance at the clock.

When she returned her eyes to him, he signed and spoke his response.

"No, I'm right on time. How long have you been asleep?"

"Longer than I thought I would be." She answered, pulling herself to a seated position. "I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Of course Nathan's first thought went to her health. He touched the back of his hand to her forehead. She didn't have a temperature.

Did the girls wear you out that much?"

"No, they were fine." She slid her fingers back through her hair. "I helped them with some homework and we had some snacks. I started feeling tired so they left. Nothing special."

"You just started feeling tired?" he questioned. "Did you sleep ok last night?"

"Same as always." She answered without commitment.

"Did you take your medicine?"

She let out a sigh but didn't let his concern irritate her. He just wanted to know she was taking care of herself. She couldn't blame him after her failure to do so lately. She grabbed his chin in her fingers and leaned in to give him a kiss.

"You're a lot hotter than my last doctor." She teased getting a smile from him. "Yes I took my medicine."

"Good." He commented, grabbing her hand. "How are you feeling now? Still tired?"

"No. " She answered after a heartbeat of thought. "No, I'm ok."

"Great." He grinned, and put his hand on her thigh, "So what do you say to a night out?"

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